Anna was sure that was the sound of Mac’s car pulling into the drive. It wasn’t even seven-thirty. This was unbelievable. She hurried up the hall and opened the front door in time to see him getting out of the car.
‘Hi!’ she exclaimed.
He gave her a wan smile as he walked across the lawn towards her.
‘I can’t believe you’re here already,’ Anna went on. So this was all it had taken? One tiny nudge from her and Mac was home even earlier than he said he would be. Maybe he was as keen as she was to put all this bad feeling behind them. She could only hope.
Mac stopped in front of her. Anna was standing on the threshold and their faces were level. She had to keep the effort up. She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him. He almost pulled back, not quite, but she felt his resistance. He was probably not expecting it, that was all. She stepped back out of his way as he walked inside.
‘It’s cooler in here,’ he remarked.
‘Mm, you look hot,’ said Anna. ‘Is the airconditioning working in your car?’
Mac set his briefcase down outside the study. ‘Maybe it needs servicing, I’ll have to get it checked.’ He paused. ‘Is there time for me to grab a quick shower before dinner?’
‘Of course, go ahead. Take your time. I’ve got salmon and asparagus . . . I’ll put it on right away and we can eat at a civilised time.’
He hesitated, one foot on the first step. ‘Really, don’t go to any trouble, Anna.’
‘It’s no trouble,’ she insisted.
Anna walked down the hall into the kitchen, feeling positive. She could tell Mac was a little uncomfortable, but it didn’t matter. He would come around, she just had to give him time. The main thing was that he was here.
When he came down the stairs half an hour later, everything was ready. Anna had set the table in the dining room earlier and she was placing the platter of salmon in the centre as Mac appeared at the door.
‘Anna, this is too much.’
‘Nonsense,’ she chided. ‘I cooked it in the time it’s taken you to have a shower.’
Mac surveyed the table. The food, the best dinnerware, the wine uncorked, the candles lit. ‘Have I missed an anniversary or something?’
Anna smiled. ‘We don’t need a special occasion to have a nice dinner together, do we, Mac?’ she said, indicating for him to sit. ‘Wine?’ she offered, picking up the bottle.
‘Just a little, I’m not feeling all that great,’ he grimaced faintly.
‘Oh?’ Anna frowned at him. ‘You are looking a little flushed,’ she said, touching the back of her hand to his cheek.
‘I thought it was just the heat, but now I’m not so sure,’ he said.
‘Do you want to go and lie down?’
He shook his head. ‘No, I’ll be fine, let’s eat.’
Anna served up the salmon, trying not to feel annoyed. It wasn’t Mac’s fault, he really didn’t look very well. ‘You work too hard, you know,’ she remarked as she sat down. She hoped that didn’t sound critical. She’d been aiming for loving concern.
Mac shrugged, scooping up a forkful from his plate. ‘This is good, Anna,’ he said eventually. ‘Really good.’
‘Thanks.’ They ate in silence for a while, until eventually Anna cleared her throat. ‘So Mum and Dad have finally decided to come up for Christmas,’ she began.
‘Oh?’
‘They thought it would make a nice change for us not to have to travel, seeing as we’ve only just been down there, and they’re going to Noosa, so we’re on the way . . .’
Anna was watching Mac. He was pushing his food around on his plate, only taking very small amounts onto his fork at a time.
‘Have you given any more thought to us joining them in Noosa?’ Anna resumed. ‘Mum asked again.’
He looked at her through glazed eyes that were slightly bloodshot. Anna could see a light film of perspiration on his upper lip and across his forehead.
‘Are you all right?’ she asked.
Mac sighed, resting one elbow on the table and rubbing his forehead. ‘I’ve got a rotten headache.’
‘Anything else?’
‘My stomach’s . . .’
‘Okay,’ said Anna, standing up. ‘Enough, Mac.’ She lifted his plate away from him. ‘You need to go up and–’
‘No, Anna,’ he protested. ‘You went to so much trouble.’
‘Mac, it’s nice that you care about that, I appreciate it. But you’re obviously coming down with something. Now go upstairs and get into bed.’
He pushed his chair back and stood up wearily. ‘What are you going to do with all this?’
‘I’ll wrap it up and you can eat it tomorrow when you’re feeling better.’
He nodded faintly. ‘Sorry I ruined dinner.’
Anna put down the plates she was holding and reached her hand up to his face. ‘I’ll take a raincheck,’ she said as she leaned closer to kiss his cheek. But he stopped her, taking a step back.
‘You better keep your distance, Anna. You don’t want to get sick as well.’
Her hand slid away from his face and she smiled up at him bravely. ‘Go to bed,’ she insisted. ‘I’ll come and check on you in a while.’
Anna cleared the table, blew out the candles and bundled up the tablecloth, leaving it in the laundry. She packed the salmon and the vegetables into separate airtight containers and stored them away in the fridge. She stacked the dishwasher, wiped down the benches and the stove, and then sat down to have a cup of tea. Only then did she let herself feel the full weight of her disappointment. The one night when it felt as though she was breaking through, when he seemed to have his defences down. But maybe that was only because he was ill. She sniffed, tears pricking her eyes. She mustn’t let herself think negatively. Mac had agreed to come home before he’d started feeling sick, and he seemed genuinely sorry that dinner was spoiled. She had to focus on the positive. Doug said it was all about how they handled it from here on in.
Anna pushed her cup of tea aside and went to the fridge. She picked up the bottle of wine she’d opened for dinner, poured herself a glass and walked into the sunroom. She took a cigarette from the drawer in the liquor cabinet and stepped out through the French doors. She lit the cigarette and drew back deeply, looking up at the sky. But Anna didn’t see the stars. She only saw black nothingness stretching off into infinity.