Mac pulled over in a side street in Mascot. He’d dropped Anna off at the domestic terminal so she could find her parents and collect their luggage. When they were ready, Anna would signal him by ringing once on the mobile and then he’d pick them up directly in front of the terminal. They had perfected the system over the years, it was more efficient, not to mention the fact it avoided the extortion of the parking station.
He didn’t know how he was going to get through this week. Having Bernard and Caroline around would mean keeping up appearances, pretending everything was all right, when everything was far from all right. Mac was not sure he could keep the cracks from showing, and Bernard and Caroline were not stupid.
He hadn’t told Anna yet, but he definitely wouldn’t be going to Noosa. And not only that, he intended to suggest she go without him. He suspected she wouldn’t take it all that well. He thought he’d try her trick and bring it up in front of Bernard and Caroline so she couldn’t argue. Of course, it could backfire on him just as it had on Anna, but he had a feeling this would be different.
The mobile phone rang once and stopped, so Mac headed back to the domestic terminal. Anna and her parents were waiting in the passenger pickup bay and in less than two minutes their luggage was loaded into the boot, everyone was in the car and they were on their way again. Bernard sat up front with Mac and they engaged in typical small talk about the flight, the traffic, the Boxing Day cricket test. Mac was feeling the strain already.
‘So, what have you two decided about Noosa?’ Caroline asked when they had joined the expressway that would take them north to the Bridge.
‘I won’t be able to get away from work, Caroline,’ Mac said plainly. He could feel Anna glaring at him from the back seat. ‘But I think Anna should still go with you. She needs a holiday.’
‘Mac–’
‘That’s a wonderful idea,’ said Caroline.
‘It’s a shame, Mac, I’ll miss my golfing partner,’ said Bernard. He looked over his shoulder at Anna. ‘Perhaps I can talk my only daughter into playing a round with her dad.’
Anna smiled weakly. ‘I don’t know, Dad, I don’t think I should go really.’
‘Why not?’ said Caroline.
‘Well, if Mac can’t get away–’
‘Caroline, talk her into it,’ said Mac. ‘She could really use the break. We both could actually, but just because I can’t go doesn’t mean she should miss out.’
‘He’s right, Anna,’ Caroline insisted. ‘We’ll have a lovely time. You can have a proper rest.’
‘And I’ll teach you to play golf – what more could you want?’ Bernard joked.
‘That was underhanded, Mac,’ said Anna later that night when they were getting ready for bed. ‘If I back out now, Mum and Dad will be offended.’
‘Why would you want to back out?’ said Mac, sitting on the end of the bed to take off his shoes. ‘Why don’t you go and enjoy yourself? You’re not missing out on anything around here.’
‘No, I’m not, am I,’ she said flatly.
Mac looked up at her. She was standing there, her arms folded, glaring at him.
‘When you suggested a break from the IVF, it was more than that, wasn’t it?’
He didn’t say anything.
‘You wanted a break from me.’
Mac sighed. He dropped his head in his hands, staring down at the carpet.
‘That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?’ she persisted.
He sighed loudly. ‘No, that’s not what I wanted,’ he said, slowly raising his head to look at her. ‘Quite the opposite. I wanted to reconnect with you, I told you that. I thought our problems were because of IVF.’ He paused. ‘Now I’m not so sure . . . or maybe we just left it too late.’
Anna felt as though she’d been punched in the stomach. ‘What are you saying?’ she said, swallowing hard.
He thought for a moment. ‘Maybe we should have some time apart.’ He heard the words. He must have said them out loud. There was no taking them back now.
Anna started pacing around the room. ‘A couple of weeks isn’t going to do it,’ she retorted. ‘It’s not nearly enough, is it, Mac?’
‘I just thought–’
‘I tell you what,’ she said, speaking over the top of him, ‘you could always pack your bags and leave before I get home. Then you can have all the break you need.’
‘Anna . . .’
‘What, Mac, what do you want to say?’
He met her gaze, but there was nothing else to say.
Anna covered her face with her hands as tears sprung out of nowhere. She felt . . . embarrassed. Out of everything she could have felt at that moment, embarrassment was possibly the most pointless emotion. But that’s what she was feeling, embarrassed that she was crying, embarrassed that she was showing her cards while Mac was being so cool. Embarrassed that he might feel pity for her. She turned her back on him, but after a moment she felt his hands on her shoulders, turning her around again. He placed his arms around her, but he wasn’t really holding her. She could sense his detachment even now.
‘What are we going to do?’ her voice muffled against his chest. ‘Mum and Dad are here, it’s Christmas . . .’
‘We’re going to have Christmas together,’ he said calmly. ‘And we’re going to make it nice for your parents. And then you’ll go away for a couple of weeks, okay? Let’s just take it a step at a time.’