‘We have a contender,’ said Adam, appearing at the door of the office.
They had advertised a full-time position a month or so back, and after sorting through some pretty weird and wonderful resumes, Louise and Georgie had finally made up a shortlist. Interviews were scheduled over the next two days.
‘And she’s hot,’ he added. ‘I vote we cut to the chase and hire her.’
‘We haven’t even interviewed her yet.’
‘So?’
‘Adam, we are not hiring anyone based on their looks,’ Louise said flatly. ‘It’s shallow and discriminatory and, well, it’s beneath our dignity, isn’t it, Georgie?’
‘Absolutely,’ she agreed.
‘You’re a couple of killjoys, you two,’ Adam grumbled.
‘I think the word you’re looking for is “professional”,’ said Louise.
‘I still don’t see why we have to hire anyone at all,’ Georgie sighed, getting to her feet.
Louise groaned, coming around the desk. ‘We’ve been through all this already,’ she said, handing them a clipboard each.
‘We have enough casuals to fill the gap while I’m off having the baby,’ Georgie insisted.
‘We could get by for a while,’ Louise agreed. ‘But you don’t know when you’re going to be ready to come back to work, and yes, of course you can bring the baby in here every day if you want, but I guarantee you’re not going to want to. And even if you did, we’d still need another full-time staff member because you won’t be able to stay from open to closing.’
‘You’re trying to get rid of me,’ Georgie pouted. ‘As soon as you hire someone you’re going to lock me out and then what am I going to do while I’m waiting for the baby to arrive? I’ll perish from boredom.’
‘You’re almost seven months pregnant,’ said Louise. ‘We still have to get through the interviews, and once we find someone we have to give them a couple of weeks notice to start, at least. And then it’ll take another month before they’re up to full speed, and I doubt you’ll last that long.’
‘I’m fine, really.’
‘Frankly, Tub, you’re next to useless,’ said Adam. ‘You can’t lift anything, you can’t climb a ladder, the smell of coffee makes you sick, and you’re just generally getting in the way, especially in the narrow aisles. Imagine what you’re going to be like in another month.’ He rolled his eyes.
‘Thanks, Ad.’
‘I thought you’d appreciate honesty.’
‘Whatever gave you that idea?’ she frowned. ‘Look, I know I’m not exactly nimble any more, but why can’t I help with the office work?’
‘We’ve often asked ourselves the same question.’
‘You all think I’m useless, don’t you? I’m not good for anything, I’m redundant, and you can’t wait to replace me.’
‘She’s fishing,’ Adam said to Louise.
‘This is when we’re supposed to tell her that she can never be replaced, how much she’ll be missed, that we don’t know how we’re going to get on without her . . .’
‘I hate you both.’
‘But we love you, Tub,’ Adam insisted.
All three of them sat in a row on the longest couch, with the first interviewee on an armchair across the coffee table opposite them. They had discussed the seating arrangements earlier. Georgie had worried they’d come across as intimidating, but Louise maintained they had to determine how the candidates responded to pressure.
‘This is not exactly the White House, Louise,’ Georgie had pointed out. But Louise was adamant. She had also compiled a set of questions they were to follow to the letter, so they would have a basis for comparison. Hence, the clipboards. Adam and Georgie had agreed to let Louise run the show, but she said they should jump in when they felt inclined, as long as they followed the set questions. They doubted they would be overcome with that particular inclination.
‘So Melody,’ Louise began after they had all introduced themselves, ‘the very first question I want to ask you is about books. This is a bookshop, after all, so we’d like you to tell us how you feel about books.’
‘Oh, I love books,’ Melody chirped. ‘They’re very . . . attractive . . .’
Georgie and Adam exchanged a furtive glance.
‘. . . the covers and that. Some of them are amazing, they’d look, like, so good in your house, on bookshelves and that.’
‘Okay,’ Louise continued undaunted. ‘That’s an interesting point, Melody, but I guess what I’m really asking is, do you like to read? And what kinds of books do you like to read?’
‘Oh, I never read books,’ Melody replied.
‘You don’t?’
‘No, it only spoils the movie.’
Adam cleared his throat. ‘They don’t make a movie from every book, you realise?’
‘Really?’ Melody was clearly amazed.
Louise ploughed ahead with her prepared questions, while Georgie jotted a note on her clipboard, inclining it slightly for Adam to read.
Dumb as a house brick.
He read her note before scribbling his own.
Legs all the way to her – but Georgie elbowed him before he could finish that thought.
‘Well this is obviously a big waste of time,’ Georgie declared after Melody had tottered off.
‘We’re not giving up after one interview,’ Louise said flatly. ‘We need another full-time staff member no matter what. Adam will be off overseas next year, don’t forget.’
‘As if,’ Georgie scoffed. ‘He’s been saying that for five years.’
‘Yeah?’ Adam retorted. ‘Well when I fly out of the country next year, you’ll be laughing out of the other side of your face.’
‘I don’t even know what that means,’ said Georgie. ‘How can I laugh out of the other side of my face?’
‘You’ll have to start boning up on your incomprehensible threats if you expect to be taken seriously as a parent, Tub,’ said Adam.
‘I’m not going to speak like that to my child.’
‘Sure you will,’ Louise muttered.
‘I won’t have to, because I intend to treat my child with intelligence and respect.’
‘She’s so naive,’ said Adam to Louise.
‘Give her time.’
‘Excuse me, everyone?’
They looked up and Amber was standing at the edge of the sitting room, shadowed by a very earnest-looking young man.
‘This gentleman’s here for an interview.’ ‘Thank you, Amber,’ said Louise, scanning her clipboard. ‘And you must be–’
‘DH Lawrence,’ he said.
That got their attention.
‘Is that a joke?’ Georgie asked hopefully.
‘Not at all.’
‘It says on your application your name is Dennis Hogben,’ said Louise.
‘Yes, well, using my own initials as a starting point, I took on the nom de plume, DH Lawrence.’
‘I’m sorry, I’m not following you,’ Georgie frowned.
‘It’s my pen name.’
‘I think you’ll find that one’s already been taken,’ said Adam.
‘Yes, and didn’t it work out well for him?’
‘Is that the phone ringing?’ Adam blurted.
‘I’ll get it,’ said Georgie, but Adam was already on his way.
Louise sighed. ‘Please, take a seat, Mr . . .’
‘Just call me DH.’
‘It’s for you, Georgie,’ Adam called from the door of the office.
Thank God for that. ‘Excuse me, won’t you?’
Adam handed her the phone after she’d made her way over. ‘It’s Liam,’ he said.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi Georgie, how are you?’
‘Actually,’ she said, walking inside the office and perching herself on the edge of the desk, ‘I’m feeling a little redundant at the moment, as a matter of fact.’
‘Why is that?’
‘We’re in the process of finding a replacement for me.’
‘No one could replace you.’
‘Liam said no one could replace me,’ Georgie repeated for Adam’s benefit. He mimed throwing up. ‘You can leave now,’ she said to him.
‘Please don’t make me go back out there,’ Adam said dramatically.
Georgie stared him down, pointing to the door. He walked out despondently.
‘Sorry Liam, what were you calling about?’
‘Only to see if the parcel arrived.’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said Georgie vaguely. ‘Let me check.’ She walked back out to the sitting room. ‘Excuse me,’ she said, leaning over the couch near Louise. ‘Did a parcel arrive for me?’
Louise winced. ‘Sorry,’ she said, jumping up. ‘It’s in the office, I’ll go find it, and you can continue the interview–’
‘No, don’t worry,’ said Georgie. ‘I’m already up.’
‘Well, it’ll be on the desk, or on the cabinet behind. I forgot about it . . . Sorry, Liam,’ she called out as Georgie retreated.
‘What’s going on?’ Liam asked.
‘Apparently Louise forgot and she apologises,’ Georgie explained. ‘I suppose I don’t have to ask what it is.’
‘It’s only a little thing, for the baby.’
‘Liam, you send something almost every week. You have to stop,’ she said, closing the office door behind her.
‘Why?’
‘Because . . .’
‘It’s my baby too,’ Liam persisted. ‘What’s the problem?’
The problem was it gave him an excuse to have more contact than Georgie felt completely comfortable with. She had to call him to thank him every time, and if she didn’t he phoned to check it had arrived. Not that Liam had done anything to upset her. He’d been very caring. And Georgie had to admit that she liked talking to him about the baby. He was more interested than anyone else, even Nick. He wanted to know everything, every ache and pain, every movement the baby made, every detail from her antenatal visits. It was incredibly comforting, but she couldn’t let herself get used to it.
‘Here it is,’ she said to Liam. ‘I’ll just put down the phone for a sec while I open it.’
It was one of those padded envelopes, so Georgie had to use scissors to cut through it. She peered inside and slid out a soft packet, wrapped in tissue paper. She folded back the sheets to reveal a tiny white baby suit. She picked up the phone again. ‘Oh Liam, it’s gorgeous,’ she cooed.
‘Do you like it?’
‘I do.’ It was an all-in-one with tiny feet, and little bunny rabbits in palest pink and blue embroidered around the collar. Georgie had bought a number of outfits for the baby, but they still made her go all sappy and sentimental. She felt a lump rising in her throat.
‘It’s so small, I can’t believe the baby will fit into it,’ Liam was saying.
Georgie sniffed. She couldn’t speak. Tears filled her eyes as she gazed lovingly at the little suit.
‘Georgie?’
She still couldn’t say anything.
‘Are you okay, Georgie?’
‘Oh,’ she sighed tremulously, ‘I’m hopeless. I cry at the slightest thing these days.’
‘I think that’s normal,’ he said gently. ‘You’re all right, though? There’s nothing wrong?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘You’re sleeping okay?’
‘Not too bad. I’ve heard it gets worse from here on in.’
‘Is there anything I can do?’
Georgie smiled. ‘Short of coming over and giving me a back rub in the middle of the night . . .’
‘You only have to pick up the phone.’
Her face crumpled. Every time she thought she could handle this whole platonic thing, Liam came out with something that sent her emotions reeling. Something sweet, something thoughtful, something that made her remember why she had fallen in love with him and forget for a moment what he had done to her. She couldn’t suppress a loud sob.
‘Georgie,’ said Liam, his voice full of concern.
‘I have to go,’ she swallowed.
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes, I’m fine. Just the hormones, you know. Talk to you later,’ she blurted. ‘Bye.’
She hung up the phone and lowered herself onto a chair, hugging the little suit to her chest. Adam burst through the door.
‘Lawrence of Deludedville has left the building!’ he announced. Then he looked at Georgie. ‘Hey, what’s the matter, Tub, is something wrong?’
‘No, nothing,’ she sighed, wiping her eyes.
‘Why are you crying?’
‘How the hell should I know?’
Adam pulled a chair over beside Georgie, watching her with a concerned frown. ‘Is there anything I can do?’
Tears welled again. ‘Don’t, that’s what got me started in the first place.’
‘I don’t understand.’
She breathed out. ‘It’s just, Liam’s being so nice . . .’
Adam looked more confused. ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ she squeaked, her voice competing with tears to make it out of her throat.
‘Bloody women, you freak me out!’ said Adam, shaking his head. ‘Do you realise how hard it is for a bloke to get it right?’
Georgie looked at him sheepishly.
‘Liam’s being nice, so you’re upset. I assume if he was being an arsehole you’d be upset too?’
She sniffed, nodding.
‘If you’re going to get upset no matter what he does, you’re going to be a blubbering mess, Tub. You’ve invited him into your baby’s life, so he’s going to be a part of your life too. You better get used to it.’
She took a deep, cleansing breath. ‘You’re right, I know,’ she said, steadying her voice. Adam passed her a box of tissues from the desk and she took one, looking plaintively at him. ‘You’re not really going overseas are you, Ad?’
He nodded slowly and very deliberately. ‘After Christmas, for real this time. I’ve been way too comfortable in this job for too long. I have to move on, Tub.’
‘How am I going to get by without you, without coming in here every day?’
‘Ha, you’re kidding, aren’t you?’ he scoffed. ‘You’re having a baby! A whole new chapter of your life is about to open up. That’s got to be more exciting than coming in here every day.’
‘Thanks for abandoning the post, you two,’ said Louise, sauntering into the office.
‘How did he go?’
She plonked down in the closest chair. ‘He’s a writer, so he wants to work around books. I have no problem with that. But I do have a problem with the fact that he wants to self-publish his work and stock it here.’
‘I had a problem back at the DH part,’ said Adam.
‘That’s not all. He also wants to arrange book signings, readings, that kind of thing.’
‘Of his own work?’ Georgie asked.
Louise nodded. ‘He left a few samples for our consideration.’
‘How thoughtful.’
Amber appeared at the door. ‘An Elizabeth Sloane is here for her interview.’
‘Tell her we’re not here,’ Georgie blurted.
‘No, we have to go through with this,’ Louise stated firmly. ‘And you two are not bailing on me this time.’
‘Oh come on, Louise,’ Adam pleaded. ‘I’m not even going to have to work with whoever you hire for that long. Don’t make me sit through the interviews. I’ll do anything.’
Louise sighed, contemplating. ‘The storeroom was looking pretty chaotic–’
‘I’m there already,’ he said, jumping to his feet.
‘That’s not fair,’ Georgie whined. ‘How come he gets out of it?’
‘I said it first,’ said Adam, disappearing out the door.
‘You sound like a pair of children,’ said Louise. ‘Georgie, you own the business, chook, you can’t get out of it. Come out and meet this one, she’s the last for today.’
Elizabeth was a bright-eyed young woman, probably in her early twenties. She was dressed conservatively in a typical interview outfit – black trousers, neutral shirt – but Georgie didn’t miss the small and very discreet jewelled stud in her left nostril.
Louise abandoned the clipboard method of interrogation and asked instead for Elizabeth to simply tell them a little about herself.
‘Well, I’m currently doing a Communications degree part-time. I love reading and writing–’
‘Have you written a book you want to sell in our shop?’ Louise asked urgently.
Elizabeth looked a little taken aback. ‘I’m a long way off writing a book, but thank you for the offer,’ she said, clearly bemused. ‘Actually, I enjoy analysis more. I have this secret dream,’ she hesitated, ‘Oh, I never tell anyone this, you’re going to think I’m crazy.’
‘No, please go ahead.’
‘Well, I think it would be so cool to be a book reviewer. I mean, I love books, I’m always reading, I usually have four going at once.’
‘What kind of books do you like?’ Georgie asked.
‘Oh, all kinds, though I prefer ones with punctuation.’
‘Pardon?’
‘I’m sorry, it’s my pet hate,’ she explained. ‘But what is this trend away from punctuation? It’s like half the writers around at the moment missed punctuation class because they were taking extra adjective classes. And while I’m at it, is it so hard to occasionally include “he said”, “she said”? Honestly, reading some books is like trying to solve a puzzle, and I’m not just talking about mysteries. It’s as though some writers are hell-bent on being purposely obscure. What’s wrong with meeting the reader halfway? I believe there’s a special relationship between writer and reader–’
‘You’re hired,’ Georgie blurted.
‘Georgie?’ said Louise uncertainly.
‘What? She’s perfect. You’re perfect, Elizabeth. Can I call you Liz?’
Louise looked at Elizabeth, smiling politely. ‘Would you mind excusing us for one moment?’
Once she had closed the door to the office, Louise put her hands on her hips. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Hiring her. She’s great.’
‘But that’s not how you do it. Aside from the fact that we’ve got three more interviews tomorrow, you don’t just say, “You’re hired” right in front of the person. You should have checked with me first.’
‘But she’s replacing me.’
‘But I’m the one who has to work with her,’ Louise pointed out.
‘But she’s a lot like me.’
‘I noticed.’
Georgie blinked. ‘You don’t want to work with someone like me?’
Louise’s face relaxed into a smile. ‘Of course I do. She is perfect. Problem is we may not let you back.’