Chapter Twelve

AMONGST THE MANGOS, PINEAPPLES, and every other tropical fruit ever harnessed by mankind, I finally found the ability to breathe again.

Eleanor strolled ahead of me in the huge greenhouse, transfixed by the simple, wholesome world I’d introduced her to. Heat and humidity hugged both of us, turning the tropics into a damn oven.

Her awe when she’d stepped off the boat said she hadn’t expected an operation of this size. Yes, this was an island. And yes, its only purpose was to grow vegetables, fruits, and nuts, but it wasn’t a tiny paddock in the middle of nowhere.

I’d hired the best garden architects from Singapore. Men and women who’d started the revolution of growing enough food hydroponically in skyscrapers, in the middle of the city, to feed the entire globe. They eradicated the need for soil and pesticides. They controlled their environment with certain bugs that starved off leaf disease and minerals in the water to promote the full potential of each and every seed.

As land was scarce in Singapore, they’d gone vertical. Meanwhile, I had the luxury of space, and housed a nursery where all seedlings were grown hydroponically before some were transplanted into different areas on the island.

So far, I’d escorted Eleanor around the vine square where over a hectare of peas in every form shot skyward with their creeper vines. Lavender and honeysuckle dotted between the plants, encouraging insects to visit and pollinate. We’d travelled the huge greenhouses with berries of every description, through the circular terrace where rice and potatoes grew side by side, and past the herb patch where many micro-greens grew in conjunction with sage, mint, and coriander.

Massive pots held overflowing crops of mesclun, baby lettuce, and bok choy, while a roofed patio protected delicate watercress and bean sprouts.

The orchards were next, the manicured rows of almond, hazelnut, and walnut all interlinked and producing bushels of nuts per year. The mandarins, apples, and stone fruits bordered that field, also decorated with pansies, wildflowers, and favourite weeds of bees.

I glanced down at my hands as I followed Eleanor. The wounds from the scratches Calico had given me had scabbed, leaving condemning trails in my flesh that cracked when I flexed my fingers.

It was only fitting that she’d marked me after what I’d done to her.

Neptune and Jupiter were fine. They’d come out of their strangle-induced siesta and were no worse for wear. Like Eleanor, they’d been given a scan to ensure their lack of oxygen hadn’t caused brain damage or unseen complications, and comprehensive tests to make sure none would suffer from my rage.

However, unlike Eleanor, who I’d given my fucking soul to the minute Pika shot down her dress, just daring me to remove him from her perfect breasts, those two had been given different accommodations for the night.

The cage Eleanor had become acquainted with now had two new inhabitants.

The quarters were tight enough for one. Two would be...uncomfortable.

They didn’t deserve to die, but they hadn’t served enough punishment, not yet.

My fingers curled, activating fresh beads of blood to flow from my wounds. They hadn’t served nearly enough. They’d. Hurt. Her. They’d tried to murder her. They would no longer be given free rein on my island or treated like goddesses.

Their immortality had been revoked.

I had plans for them tomorrow, just like Calico.

I gritted my teeth.

Calico.

Unfortunately, I’d hurt her the most. Unwittingly or premeditated—I would never answer that question—but she was alive and that was all that mattered.

I hadn’t taken her life.

But I had taken her voice.

According to Dr Campbell, I’d caused fractures to the cartilage in her larynx, damaging her vocal cords.

It didn’t impede her ability to breathe, but after an extensive examination, he wasn’t sure she’d ever regain the full range of pitch.

Guilt had started the moment I’d visited the three goddesses—after he’d called me to take Jinx to her villa. Self-loathing had followed swift on its heels when he’d jerked me to the side and given me an ultimatum.

Stop who I was.

Stop doing what I did.

Or...he’d quit and wouldn’t be quiet about who he talked to.

He willingly put himself in my line of fire, knowing I would have to remove his ability to destroy my enterprise, but also hesitant to harm someone who proved as trustworthy as any human could.

He at least gave me a heads-up about his betrayal...giving me time to fix what I’d broken before I had to deal with him.

Eleanor stopped up ahead.

Her white and silver dress swung around her hips as she coughed gently and turned back to face me. Her voice held a huskier depth than before, the discoloration around her neck bringing mixed results of shame and desire.

I froze as she padded back toward me, her bare feet and slim ankles a fucking aphrodisiac, even though my body hadn’t fully recovered from elixir.

She licked her lips, smoothing her dress and smiling softly as Pika and Skittles shot past, flying from fruit to fruit, destroying and indulging on whatever they wanted.

I waited until she stood in front of me, her grey eyes still molten from our moment in the boat. When I’d laughed...I’d shocked both of us.

I’d forgotten I was capable of such a thing.

It’d felt foreign. Wrong.

But also familiar. Right.

The way she stared at me had ensured whatever language we’d traded in, steadily learning more phrases the deeper we fell, had switched from unknown into fully understandable.

A look wasn’t just a look now.

A touch wasn’t just a touch.

I heard what her look said.

I knew what her touch promised.

And the way she’d watched me as I’d stopped mid-laugh, confused and conflicted, swallowing back the outlandish sensation, had grabbed a bullhorn and told me everything I needed to know.

She loved me.

Despite what I’d done, because of what I’d done, regardless of who I was and what I did, she loved me.

I knew it in my fucking bones, but it didn’t mean I trusted it.

Not at all.

Why should I trust something that was a simple cocktail of chemicals and body chemistry? She thought she cared, but she’d conveniently ignored the circumstances of our meeting and the complications of our future.

My own parents loved me and look at the level of treason they were capable of.

She might love me...but it meant absolutely nothing, changed nothing.

It can’t.

“Sully...” She licked her lips again, swallowing past her pain. “I’m honoured that you’ve shown me this place. That I’ve had the experience of eating strawberries still warm on their stem and cracked nuts still hanging off their branch...but, I need to ask you something; otherwise, I’m going to go crazy.”

My heart picked up its pace in warning, and I carefully placed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Whatever she asked, I would not lash out. I would not touch her, scare her, hurt her.

“What do you need to know?”

Her chest rose as she inhaled a fortifying breath. “Please tell me what you’re going to do with Jupiter, Neptune, and Calico. I know you think it’s weak that I don’t want them to suffer, but honestly...it wasn’t their fault.”

My voice slipped into darkness. “If it wasn’t their fault, then the blame lies with me.”

Her eyes flared. “You say that like you already know it does.”

I shrugged. “I’ve always been accountable for my goddesses’ insubordination. If they run, it’s because I’ve trapped them. If they fight, it’s because I’ve placed them in servitude. If they give up, it’s because I’ve taken them away from everything they know and turned their very minds against them.”

She spread her hands as if lost for words. “Then...if you agree their attack on me ultimately lays blame at your feet...don’t you think—” She cut herself off, running shaky fingers through her hair that was a damn drug to me. “Don’t you think they’ve suffered enough?”

“They’ve suffered me, you mean.”

Her back straightened, willingly going to battle for women who’d not only tried to kill her but had let envy scramble up their own morals. Out of everyone I knew, she was the kindest.

Skittles saw it.

Pika knew it.

She had that special gift of empathy that I used to have. Empathy that would get her killed, unless she learned to turn it off and protect herself.

She fought the urge to fidget, keeping her stare tangled with mine. “Living on your island is wonderful, there is no denying that. It’s like a permanent vacation where all your wishes are fulfilled...but—”

“They miss their families, their partners, their lives before I stole it from them.” I strolled around her, keeping my voice level and cool. “They are still prisoners, forced to fuck strangers, given a drug that makes their lust work against them, all while I bleed them of everything they are.”

She shivered as I ran my fingers through her hair, catching on delicate tangles caused by the boat ride. “All while I bleed you dry...”

She gasped as I kissed behind her ear. “The thing is, Eleanor Grace, I don’t care. I don’t care about them. I don’t care that others feel their captivity is cruel and unjustified. I told you when you first arrived that humans are not special. We cannot have two sets of rules: one for animals who we cage and slaughter, and one for us. We cannot bemoan the state of imprisonment and the act of making others do something against their will. Not when we’ve been forcing creatures into enslavement for millennia.”

She tried to spin to face me, but I grabbed her nape, holding her trapped before me. I didn’t squeeze hard, extremely aware of what her throat had endured, but I didn’t let her look at me. This I had to say without forgiveness already shining in her silver-coloured eyes.

“Their actions are entirely my fault. I’m the reason they felt threatened by you. I’m the reason they pinned romantic ideals and stupid hope on the possibility of my saving them. I was the one who took their happiness away. Therefore, they despised me. But I was also the one who could set them free. Therefore, they worshiped me. That constant mix of want and hate turned normal women into scrambled, vindictive shrews who convinced themselves that you were the enemy...not me. You were the reason for all of it because only you caught my attention and only you were special.”

I ran my nose along her shoulder, inhaling the rich scent of orchid, sunshine, and salt. My very island had claimed her as its own, tainting her skin with every scent I adored. “And that’s the crux of the problem, Jinx...you are special. I have no way of denying that. I can lie and say you aren’t, but ultimately, we both know you’re special...to me. Which means, all my laws on equality and humanitarian requirements are total shit because how can I put you first...over them?”

She trembled again as I let her nape go, permitting her to turn to face me. Thoughts shadowed her features like dismembered ghosts, half-formed and discarded before she finally whispered, “You don’t have to see such things in black and white, Sully.”

I raised an eyebrow. “No? How would you see it?”

She shrugged. “Biology. Simple biology.” When I didn’t respond, she added, “Just like I get wet and you get hard from a physical or mental stimulation, the heart suffers the same downfalls.”

“You’re saying what I feel for you...is purely reactionary?”

Her eyelashes fluttered. “What do you feel for me? I asked you on Serigala, and I’m asking you now.”

I snorted and leaned into her, mixing our body heat and suffering the hiss and spark of awareness. “An epidemic over everything that I am. That is what I feel for you. A sickness I can’t find a cure for.”

“Maybe the cure is easier than you think.”

“You think we can reverse this...disease, now that we’ve accepted the diagnosis?”

“I think lying about it won’t stop the truth.”

I stiffened. “You’re calling me a liar?”

She nodded. “Utterly pathological when it comes to avoiding things you don’t want to confess.”

A groan slipped from my lips, fertilising the ground with all the bullshit I’d been trying to shove into my heart and believe. “Stop. Just stop—”

“Stop forcing you to admit that common-sense says we’re absolutely stupid but we’re past listening to that nonsense?”

“Stop being everything I fucking want...without even knowing it.” I raked a hand through my hair, my temper spiking. “Stop making this impossible for me.”

I thought this infatuation would cease as abruptly as it’d begun. I figured, the more I got to know her, the more I would be turned off. I’d convinced myself that whatever bond we shared would diminish, because there was no other way forward for me.

I wasn’t planning on discovering that with each conversation, with each new touch, kiss, and whisper that I’d struggle all the more.

My infatuation had swiftly become fascination and could quickly mutate into obsession if I wasn’t careful.

I meant what I said in Dr Campbell’s surgery.

“Why are you so perfect...for me?”

How could a girl who’d been born to different parents, raised in a different household, and experienced different things, somehow end up the perfect shape and size to fit into my jagged, haggard edges?

My dream fantasy couldn’t even compare to her anymore. That hallucination had been based purely on looks I found madly attractive. Now, Eleanor was the very utopia I’d tried to create on my cursed islands. She was bottled elixir and the magic of Euphoria...a fantasy manifested into reality.

She was inherently, dangerously risky because unlike Euphoria, this had no end. There was no waking up from this...only death could stop it.

Hers or mine...or both.

“I’m not trying to make this impossible, Sully.” She sighed softly. “I’m trying to...ugh, I don’t know. Prove that you don’t have to push me away? Prove to myself that I’m not crazy for wanting the very man who bought me. Prove that we’re both...not at fault.”

“You’re saying there’s something else to blame for this mess?”

“I’m saying it’s nature’s way of ensuring survival of each species.” She paced a little, needing to move while solving her strange interpretation. “Why can’t we look at it that way?” Her eyes lit up. “You’ve segmented animals from mankind because you see us as the problem. And you’re right. We are. Humans are a plague upon resources, environments, and everything else we come into contact with. You’re right to despise us as a collective...but you’re forgetting one thing.”

“And what’s that?” I crossed my arms, not liking where she was going, afraid that this would make way too much sense to me and I’d have no more arguments to brick up my walls.

“We are still just animals at the end of the day. Nature ensures most creatures pair up for life. They enter into a covenant the moment they meet. They raise a family. They protect each other. They survive because of each other. It’s not us...it’s nature. Our need for each other is just that...biology. Our affection is biology. This whole damn confusing connection is—”

I snatched her.

I kissed her.

I shoved her against the raised garden boxes where seedlings had never seen anything so explicit in their existence and stuck my tongue down her throat.

She moaned and kissed me back.

Violence with violence, lust for lust.

I kissed her because I couldn’t allow her to spill another word. She made it seem so easy, yet it was the hardest thing in the fucking world.

Our tongues clashed. My cock thickened. I arched my hips into her belly, blatantly showing her what sort of voodoo she cast over me. How much I wanted her, even still sore from elixir.

She gasped as I captured her bottom lip with my teeth, biting down, ceasing our kiss with a threat of pain. Her breath skated over my mouth, sweet from raspberries and kiwifruit.

Our eyes opened, so close, too close. Everything was hazy with need, and the grey smokiness of her eyes made me come face to face with the ashes of whatever I had left. Just dust and ashes and the lies I kept telling myself.

If I let go entirely, what would that mean? Where would we go from here? What the fuck sort of future would we have? I already had complete ownership over her in the form of a trafficker’s contract and hefty funds exchanged.

I didn’t need to marry her to get her to obey me.

I didn’t need to put a goddamn ring on her finger to keep her forever.

I’d skipped past those silly human rituals and used commerce to secure her instead.

While my mind ran headfirst into walls I didn’t know how to erase, she pulled her lip from my teeth. Wincing a little, she completely annihilated me by not stepping out of my hold as I expected but by wrapping her arms around my waist and snuggling her entire face into my chest.

Ah, Christ.

Her kiss was one thing.

Her hug?

It fucking demolished me. Towers, barricades, gates and all, leaving my chest an empty wasteland where my heart lay totally exposed, begging her to save it.

I shook as she pressed a kiss into my t-shirt. She murmured something I couldn’t hear. My ears throbbed to know. To have her be the first to admit that we were well and truly fucked by finding each other, but when I slid my touch under her chin and angled her face to look up, I wished I’d kept her request silent. “What did you say?”

“I asked what Calico’s, Jupiter’s, and Neptune’s real names are.”

I froze but answered her question. After all, I’d just familiarized myself with their files since this nasty catastrophe. “Calico is Sonya Teo, Jupiter is Lucy Hall, and Nep is Ally Bishop.”

“And what do you have planned for them?”

I bared my teeth. “You won’t let that go, will you?”

“No. I...need to know.”

My nostrils flared. “I plan on reminding them of their place. I’ll ensure they’ll never even look at you again. That reminder will keep you safe.”

She flinched. “I know what will keep me safe.”

Stranding them on an island with bare necessities? Selling them to a guest? Locking them in wire-bottom cages for the rest of their contract?

Eleanor sucked in a breath, searching for courage as she whispered, “Send them home. It’s homesickness that’s upset them. They’re confused and lost and seeing us...seeing what we’ve found...it’s pushed them too far.” She kissed my chest again, shivering. “They deserve to go home, Sully. Please...let them go.”