In a long and deep life, we will have to find our courage. We will have many moments when, as this lovely book encourages, we feel our fear yet dive in anyway, only to emerge transformed. One of the most transformational events in my own life followed this pattern to a tee. In 1998, when I tore open my first student loan bill, I was terrified. I stared at it for a solid minute, blinking and dumbstruck. How on earth could I afford that much, every single month?
I had just completed my masters in somatic psychology, and adored how this field allowed me to share my gifts. But my wonderful degree program hadn’t breached the taboo of money or instructed us on how to turn our training into a profitable career. As a fiercely nontraditional kind of gal, I knew I wouldn’t feel at home in the corporate world. Yet I had no clue what other career options existed, let alone how I could earn the kind of money to cover that monthly student loan bill and enjoy a comfortable lifestyle.
I had no idea how to solve this conundrum. I panicked. I gave serious thought to packing a bag, skipping the country, and finishing my days as a quirky, globetrotting vagabond on the run from the banks. Thankfully, I made a different choice. I took a deep breath, slowed down, and felt all my shame and fear. I needed to face this riddle head-on: How could I create a career I loved, share my gifts, and pay my bills?
I couldn’t see the answer to that riddle when I asked it. I simply trusted that I could create something new, even if I couldn’t see what it was yet. As Kate Swoboda so beautifully defines courage, I was “willing to follow an unknown path.” The book you hold in your hands has helped me understand moments of courage like that in a deeper way and has also gifted me with the tools and inspiration to choose more of them.
Courage can be epic and life changing, but we can also call upon it in subtle moments too. Each time we choose a smidgen more awareness, honesty, or compassion, we are brave. Getting vulnerable is brave. And, sometimes, merely asking ourselves what we really want takes super-heroic guts.
So, why do we sometimes step boldly into our courageous choices, and other times slink (or sprint) away? Kate gives the most empowering explanation possible: it’s a matter of practice. Courage is a habit, she argues. It’s a muscle we can strengthen for each small or big victory at a time. That means that anyone with a little patience and guidance can practice the Courage Habit…and get better and better at it.
This endeavor must be a gentle one, though. We can’t shame ourselves into sustainable change, and the “tough love” approach simply doesn’t work for emotional healing. I needed all the gentleness I could muster as I walked my “unknown path” after that student-loan-bill crossroads. Dealing with money and career brought me to deep inner work around my value, empowerment, and safety. Step by step, I found my own style of creative entrepreneurship and began applying my gifts and training to guide others in their own journeys with money and much more.
Today, in my work as a financial therapist, I have the great delight of witnessing my community members make courageous choices every day. I applaud them for summoning the courage to peek at their credit scores (when it scares the living broccoli out of them) and encourage minidance parties when they have that tough money conversation with their sweeties. I remind them over and over again how brave it is to change old patterns, make bold, new choices, and do it all with love and panache.
Heroic journeys like these—and like the one you’re on, dear reader—require more than logic and blueprints. Deep, meaningful transformation requires rationality and emotional intelligence; heart and grit. These are the precisely elements you’ll find in this book.
If it took courage for you to even pick up this book, take heart. Kate won’t wag a disciplinarian’s finger at you, barking at you to overcome fear through sheer willpower. Instead, she will reassure you: Fear is a universal experience and not a cause for shaming yourself. (Whew.) She’ll help you do the improbable and miraculous: make friends with fear. And, she will coax you into honoring that soft, vulnerable voice of hope within you by taking courageous action toward creating the life you truly want.
These pages are brimming with inspiration, helpful strategies, and a whole lot of warmth. This book isn’t superficial or motivational fluff; it’s imminently practical and full of heart, just like Kate.
I’m so happy we now have Kate’s beautiful book to guide us through all the micro- and mega-moments in our lives that call for gumption and grit. May we all gently and mindfully stretch a little farther into our growing edges. May loving awareness be our refuge and lodestar. May we all take this book’s message to heart, and let it inspire us to live fuller, richer, more authentic lives one courageous choice at a time.
—Bari Tessler
financial therapist
author of The Art of Money