I’m devoted to the written word, but when it comes to both love and gratitude, these are the times when words feel inadequate. The fourth part of the Courage Habit process is to reach out and create community, and truly, if I hadn’t been practicing that step regularly, I’d never be here.
First and foremost, so much gratitude goes to the clients I’ve worked with, the readers who visit YourCourageousLife.com, and the thousands of people I’ve interacted with through attending online seminars, taking courses, showing up for workshops, and conferences, listening to podcasts, and participating in programs. I see you, I hear you, and I’m with you, both in the moments of your (totally normal!) fear and in the moments when you choose to practice courage. Really-really, truly-truly. This book is for you and I’m holding you in my heart.
I met Kimber Simpkins, author of Full, at a birthday party. I told her that I was working on the courage to send out my book proposal. Kimber told me she’d loved working with the team at New Harbinger Publications, and she shared the name of a contact person so that I could send in my proposal. Quite literally, Kimber, your generosity and openheartedness have forever changed my life.
Kimber wasn’t kidding when she said that the team at New Harbinger is amazing. Camille Hayes, thank you for seeing something in my proposal and for the privilege of this experience, which I’ll never forget. Vicraj Gill, your perceptiveness and the love and care with which you edit a writer’s work has made me a better writer. This book wouldn’t be what it is without your guidance—thank you. To Julie Bennett and the marketing team, thank you for your warm reception and an immediate sense of inclusiveness. To everyone at New Harbinger: I know that y’all do this every day, but…Holy smokes! We did it—we created a book!
Bari Tessler, author of The Art of Money, has not only taught me about practicing courage when it comes to my finances, she also wrote the foreword to this book. There isn’t enough chocolate in the world to convey my thanks. (But hey, Bari, you know that I’ll try.)
I’ve had the honor of meeting some incredible people who have offered friendship, or offered support and supersavvy business wisdom, or who have helped me change my life for the better. I’m gobsmacked to have met them, and I strongly suggest that you Google all of them, stat. They include Kira Sabin, Laura Simms, Rachel W. Cole, Tiffany Han, Andrea Owen, Laurie Wagner, Amy E. Smith, Vivienne McMaster, Dr. Brené Brown, Marianne Elliott, Tara Sophia Mohr, Dyana Valentine, Cheri Huber, Jenn Lee, Michelle Ward, Nisha Moodley, Margo Brockman, Allison Tyler, Christine Mason-Miller, Kelly Rae Roberts, Lianne Raymond, Tara Gentile, McCabe Russell, Tanya Geisler, Julie Daley, Andrea Scher, and Stacy DeLaRosa.
Molly Mahar of Stratejoy, thank you for those times when you’ve hopped on the phone with me to explain how things work. Theresa Reed’s tarot readings are on freaking point. My lawyer, Robert Kelly, deserves a shout-out for rocking the contracts. After I became a mother, Holly Wick, owner of Athletic Soles in Petaluma, helped me to reconnect with myself through the sport of triathlon, and in a funny sort of way, that was the impetus for me to get back to taking my writing seriously. And, speaking of writing, thank you to the graduate English program at UC Davis. Thank you to Dr. Robert Archambeau of Lake Forest College, who encouraged my writing, and thank you to Dr. David Boden, who first got me interested in studying how people tick.
Adrianne Laconi is my company’s badass operations manager, and she keeps me grounded in more ways than she knows. My company couldn’t have operated without her these past few years. And, a big thanks to the leadership team of the Courageous Living Coach Certification, which has included such powerful women as Valerie Tookes, Lara Heacock, Liz Applegate, Paula Jenkins, Michelle Crank, and Julie Houghton. Molly K. Larkin, and Natalia Chouklina also sat with me for a spell. I know that we call it a life coach training program, but, of course, let’s just be real: we’re courage junkies. We make no apologies for the fact that we just can’t get enough. #TribeCLCC for the win!
Carl Rogers is my homeboy and Pema Chödrön is my guru. Carl has passed and I’ve never met Pema, but I feel that my life wouldn’t shine as brightly if I hadn’t been exposed to their work. Irvin Yalom, your books have helped me to understand myself and my clients better. Charles Duhigg, your writing on habit-formation made the work accessible for me and, among other things, revolutionized how we put our toddler to bed. For that, any time you’re in town, dinner is on me! The spirit of Bob Rado is behind the words, too, and I send a deep bow to my energetic lineage and my family on the other side. And, of course, to my family that’s alive and well: thank you. A shout-out to my sister, Vanessa Swoboda, for her encouragement when I hit a fork in the road.
Rich and Yvonne Dutra-St. John of the Challenge Day organization have taught me about the power of making a different choice in an instant and how life changing that can be, as well as creating “love that leaves God speechless.”
Danielle LaPorte, thank you for helping me to finally make the connection that I can write my own damned permission slip—thank you very much. And, deep gratitude for being willing to say, “Well, fuck that diagnosis,” at a time when everyone else was offering pithy advice. Thank you for your life-changing brand of generosity.
Valerie Tookes, we’ve been friends for more than a decade, and when I think of the most courageous people I know, you are always at the top of the list. I see how big and wide you love, and how you step out into the arena over and over again even if you’re shaking, because love and living fully alive are worth it. Don’t think for a second that the rest of us are fooled, because behind the introverted exterior you are a force. Thank you for being my sister.
Matthew Marzel started out as our couples coach, then he became my personal coach, was the officiant who married my husband and me, and was there the day my daughter was born. Across years of sessions, he’s seen me at my angriest, saddest, most devastated, and most confused. He never believed that those states were who I truly was at my core, which is precisely why and how I’ve been able to transcend any of the painful stuff.
To Anika, my daughter: Before you were born, an interviewer asked what my hopes and dreams for you were. I said that I didn’t care whether you went to college or ever “achieved” anything. All I really want is for you to live a life in which you can completely trust yourself and trust in your own inherent goodness. You are only three years old right now, so feel free to show this to me later if I ever change my mind on the college part.
To my husband, Andy Rado, you are my always. You’ve supported absolutely every risk I’ve wanted to take. You’re my best friend, a total hottie, an incredible father, and the only person I want to snuggle up next to at the end of a day. People say, “I couldn’t have done it without you,” and in our case, truer words were never spoken. I choose you, and me, and us, all day every day.