CALLIE—
I was walking down the hallway to greet Mr. Matthews when Abel jumped in front of me and grabbed my arm, pulling me into the kitchen.
“Well, well, well,” Abel said, leaning up against the counter.
I rolled my eyes at him. “What?”
“Remember what I told you? That I knew Aaron better than anyone else.”
“Yeah.”
He stepped away from the counter he was leaning against. He crossed the kitchen and stepped in close to me. “I was right, wasn’t I?” he whispered. “I saw it and called it from the very beginning. And judging by how you both looked when you walked in here, I know exactly what’s going on.”
“You’re being creepy,” I said. “Besides it’s really none of your business.”
He stepped back. “Listen, if you want my advice. Tread carefully. He’s all or nothing. He’s obviously all in now, and I want it to work out for you both, but you need to be smart about it.”
“I’d ask you what you meant by that, but I don’t think I asked for any advice.”
He opened the refrigerator and stuck his head in. “You want my help,” he mumbled.
“Whatever,” I replied.
He emerged from the refrigerator with an apple and took a large bite of it. “Es oh mo hal,” he responded with a full mouth.
“You think you can stop eating that for a second, and for the sake of trying to be polite, swallow before you start to talk?”
He swallowed what was in his mouth and then snorted. “That’s what she said,” he chuckled.
I walked over and punched him on the arm. “Will you get serious?” I hissed. “Jesus. It’s a wonder you can function as an adult at all.”
He smiled. “That’s debatable.”
“That’s great. Can we get back on topic?”
“Right. I realize this,” he said, waving his arm around, “isn’t conventional, but if it’s going to work, you’re going to need to tread carefully before things get too serious. I’ve seen Aaron really unhappy for a really long time. I think you could change that. Win-win for the both of you.”
“It isn’t like that. We’re just having fun,” I said.
“Good. Have fun. And if you need any advice on how to keep having fun, let me know. You have my number from the other night, right?”
Aaron poked his head in the kitchen. “Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Your brother needed girl advice.”
“Ahh. Well, we should probably go get Delilah and be on our way,” he said. “As long as Abel is done with you.”
“Done,” he said, winking at me.
I followed Aaron down the carpeted hallway and small set of stairs to the living room. As soon as Delilah saw Aaron, she ran into her father’s arms. “Daddy!”
Cinderella was playing on the television, the room scattered with Barbies and accessories.
“Hi there,” said the man I assumed to be Aaron’s father. He was tall, like Aaron and Abel, but with gray hair and a round midsection. He stood from the sofa and extended his hand. “I’m Daniel Matthews,” he said warmly.
I shook his hand. “Callie. Nice to meet you.”
“Yes, this is my Callie!” Delilah said. “Papa, she lives with me now.”
Mr. Matthews let out a deep laugh. “I know, darling.” He directed his attention back to me. “I trust my son is making you comfortable.”
Abel snorted loudly from the kitchen before he segued into a coughing fit.
I felt my cheeks heat up. “Oh yes, very comfortable. Thank you for asking,” I said.
“Delilah, go clean up your things. We have to get going,” Aaron said.
“But Papa said we were going to go to the park,” Delilah pouted.
“Maybe we’ll go to the park later, baby doll,” Aaron responded. “But for now, I want you to pick up your Barbies so we can go home.”
“I can take her to the park and drop her off later, Aaron,” Mr. Matthews said.
“I appreciate it, Dad, but she’s been here since yesterday. We have some things to take care of today.”
Mr. Matthews nodded his head, but Delilah, in all her four-year-old glory, was not having any of it.
“I don’t want to go home,” she shouted while pounding her feet. “I want to go to the park.”
“Delilah, I’m not going to ask you again,” Aaron said in a tone that told her, and everyone else in the room, he was losing his patience. “Now, pick up your things, or we won’t go to the park at all.”
Delilah burst into tears and ran to me. Looking up at me with big, fat tears streaming down her face, she grabbed my hand. “Callie, tell Daddy he’s being mean.”
“I think you need to do what your dad said,” I responded.
“But…but,” she tried to say through her hysterical sobbing. “I don’t want toooooo.”
“Delilah Leslie Matthews! That’s enough!” His voice was loud enough to make me shudder. Although there were times when he raised his voice to her, I’d never heard him shout at her so loudly.
Before anyone could say anything else, Aaron picked her up, kicking and screaming, and carried her out of the room. Abel and Mrs. Matthews heard the commotion and entered the living room from the other side, looking at us for answers. Mrs. Matthews was stunning. She was petite, with short blond hair that was cut close around her face. Her face was nearly flawless, even with minimal makeup on, but it was her eyes that made me pause for a second. They were the exact same shade of blue Aaron and Delilah shared.
“She’s just having a tantrum. She doesn’t want to leave,” I explained.
“Oh dear, poor thing,” Mrs. Matthews said, concerned. “Maybe I should go check on them?”
Mr. Matthews shook his head. “She’ll be fine. Just let Aaron handle it.”
“Man, she’s got a set of pipes,” Abel said. “Then again, her mother has a big fucking mouth.”
“Abel…,” Mr. Matthews warned.
He shrugged his shoulders, but continued. “Well, she did, or I’m sure still does. It’s not something likely to disappear, or cured even if she found some magical antifungal to help.”
The room grew quiet, and I was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable and very out of place. I wanted to look at the others and study their expressions, but I decided that avoiding everyone else’s eyes was my best bet. I stood there biting my bottom lip, feeling myself begin to perspire and silently praying for Aaron to come back in the room. Everything stayed quiet for what seemed like hours until Aaron and Delilah walked back in, hand in hand. Aaron looked stressed and tired, and Delilah, her skin blotchy from crying, was sniffling.
“Go ahead,” Aaron said, nudging Delilah forward.
“Sorry,” she said softly.
Aaron nodded his head. “All right, now go clean up.”
She obeyed her father and returned to her Barbie belongings to pack them away while Aaron gathered the rest of her things. I was relieved when we left because while his family was extremely cordial, it was a painful experience.
Reality gave me a big slap in the face. The last few days had been a fairy tale, but what was happening now was real life. As we quietly drove home, I had a few minutes to consider what it all meant. What I concluded was…
How was I going to do this, balance sleeping with Aaron, being the nanny, and perhaps anything he expected of me in between?
Was I going to step into a girlfriend role I wasn’t sure I could measure up to? His age, situation, and maturity was no match for the insecure undergrad twenty-four-year-old me.
Was I going to be expected to then step further into this ready-made family and take on a mom role? Was I ready for that?
I didn’t have a clue about any of it, and I was too scared to even question Aaron about it.
Once home, Aaron sat down to watch a ball game on television and Delilah went to her room to play. Feeling overrun by emotion, I texted Evelyn.
Callie: Where are you?
Evelyn: The apartment. Why?
Callie: I’m coming over. Be there soon.
Evelyn: Are you okay?
Callie: I’ll tell you everything when I get there.
I threw my phone into my purse, and walked into the living room. “Hey, I’m going to head out for a while.”
“Yeah?” Aaron said. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
He laughed. “I mean, where are you going?”
“Just to Evelyn’s place for a while.”
“Will you be back in time for dinner? I thought maybe we’d go out.”
“I don’t know.”
His eyes narrowed at me, carefully taking in my face. “Is something wrong?”
I shifted uncomfortably. “No. I didn’t know I needed to tell you everything I did, and everywhere I was going.”
I immediately regretted what I’d said. Before I could even apologize, he shook his head and returned his attention to the television.
“Of course. It’s your day off, Callie,” he said. “You’re free to do whatever you want.”
A cold chill ran through me as his flippant words hit me. I felt like such a jerk.
“Aaron—”
“See you later,” he said, cutting me off and not looking at me.
I quietly left the room, and then the house, with my jackass tail between my legs.
* * *
“Holy shit! You fucked him?” Evelyn shouted.
I was sitting on the couch in my old apartment with Evelyn, a bottle of wine opened in the middle of the afternoon for the occasion. “Can you be any louder? I don’t think the neighbors heard you.”
“Tell me everything,” Evelyn said, settling back with her wineglass.
Okay, so I didn’t tell her everything, but I did divulge pertinent information that any good girlfriend would share with her best friend. Of course, this included how the whole sexcounter occurred, size of penis, how well he knew how to work said penis, if he visited the little lady and how his technique was, how long he lasted, and how long it took him before he could go for another round. When I’d finished recounting, we sat quiet for several moments, taking sips from our wine and waiting for one or the other to say something.
“Shit, sweetie,” said Evelyn. “That’s a tall order for a girl that doesn’t get laid regularly. How’s your little lady feeling?”
I was sure my skin was blushing, even after everything I’d told her, because my lady parts had never been happier. “I thought the G-spot was an urban myth. Turns out I was wrong.”
She raised her hand, and I slapped her palm. “That’s my girl.”
“Seriously, though, what am I going to do?” I asked. “Am I already in over my head?”
“Who knows and really, Cal, who cares? He’s obviously into you.”
“But what do you think about what Abel said? That it’s all or nothing with him,” I asked.
She took a sip from her glass. “Aaron doesn’t need to know that Abel is coaching you from the side. Plus, he’s only doing that because he wants what’s best for Aaron.”
“But am I being deceitful?”
“I don’t think so. Besides, what are you supposed to say? You can’t throw Abel under the bus and tell Aaron what he said.”
“I guess,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. “Who knows if it’ll even make a difference. He was acting so cold when I left.”
“He’s acting like a dude. I swear, they always talk about how girls get so clingy once the sex starts, but I think it’s the opposite. They turn all caveman and shit, like they peed on you or something to mark their territory.”
“Ew,” I said. “Really?”
“I don’t mean actually pee on you. No, that’s gross. Although, people have a fetish for anything. Maybe your handsome new lover has a few you’ll find out about.”
“If he wants to pee on me, I’m out of there.”
She rolled her eyes. “In any case, you were bitchy to him, and now he’s probably processing everything like you are.”
She had good points. I just needed to wrap my brain around the whole thing. I needed to sort through all the emotions I was having, some of which I wasn’t ready to share with Evelyn. What I’d thought was simply an intense physical attraction now seemed like much more, especially after the previous night. There was a shift, a very surprising one. It was overwhelming, so palpable, I had to believe he felt it, too.
“Check in with Abel and see if he went crying to him about the whole thing,” she said.
“Really? I don’t know.”
“What?” she asked before taking a sip from her wineglass. “Abel told you it was cool for him to be your go-to. You get an objective male point of view with the added benefit of Abel knowing how Aaron is.”
She had a point. I wasn’t sure if it was the correct one, but I didn’t think it would hurt.
I retrieved my phone from my purse in the kitchen and scrolled through my contacts to call Abel.
It took three rings before a rough-sounding Abel answered. “Hey.”
“It’s Callie. Are you sleeping?”
“Ah,” he said clearing his throat. “No. I…hold on.”
Muffled sounds of female laughter and something that sounded oddly like the slapping of skin filtered through my phone, damaging some major hearing artery.
“Okay. I’m back,” he said with a chuckle. “What’s up?”
“Are you seriously talking to me when you have a woman lying next to you?”
“Nah. I was just sending her on her way.”
“How do you do that? I just saw you drinking orange juice out of carton while spraying apple remnants all over the kitchen an hour ago.”
I sighed loudly, shaking my head. The guy was attractive, of course, but Abel’s ability to keep his bed on a steady rotation of women was something to behold.
“Well, now that you’re alone, I need some advice,” I said.
“Lay it on me.”
I explained the whole situation, my uneasiness, and Aaron’s reaction.
“So what exactly are you asking me?” Abel questioned.
“Did I mess this whole thing up already? What am I going to walk back in to when I get home?”
“Oh, Jesus. Aaron is such a sensitive, feeeelingggggg asshole. You didn’t mess up. He’s pouting, and he’ll be fine. Trust me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive, Abel. You could probably learn a thing or two. And why should I trust you?”
“Because I know Aaron and he’s a man. I’m also a man and I can tell you getting laid by a hot lady, who also is smart and stuff, is something we don’t want to fuck up.”
Words of wisdom. Abel Matthews style.
I spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening with Evelyn, drinking wine and eating Chinese takeout. I was in a pleasant state of drunkenness when I left the apartment after midnight, leaving my car behind and taking a cab back home. Lucky for me, I wasn’t technically back on the clock until seven a.m., and I’d need time to sleep off the wine and the day’s events. As I entered the dark house, a wave of panic came over me, wondering what would happen when I saw Aaron. As luck would have it, the house was quiet and he was nowhere to be found.
I tiptoed up the stairs and to my room, quietly closing the door behind me. Feeling exhausted, I slipped off my clothes and put on my most comfy pajamas. I crawled into bed, pulling the covers over me tight, and waited for sleep to come. It didn’t take long before I was in a deep dream state, but woke startled when a touch grazed my face. I sat up, momentarily frightened, before I realized Aaron was standing next to my bed.
“What’s going on?” I asked, confused.
He sat down next to me, returning his hand to my face and caressing my cheek lightly. Even in almost darkness, I could see that the stressed lines of his face, his visible distress from earlier, were gone. In its place were soft, pleading eyes. His hand moved from my face to my hair, smoothing it down and carefully tucking a stray piece behind my ear. The space between his eyebrows creased subtly, alerting me to the fact there was something he deeply wanted to say but didn’t know how. Not that it mattered anyway.
He didn’t have to say a word.
But I did.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He picked up my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly before bringing it to his bare chest. I traced my fingers across the hard, solid lines of muscles and watched as his skin erupted into goose bumps. My eyes roamed his exquisite body, the only thing covering him was a pair of dark, cotton, boxer briefs. I continued my path up his chest until I reached his neck, intertwining my fingers behind it to pull him to me. Wanting to feel him closer, I leaned my forehead against his while his eyes grew lazy, closing slightly, as his breathing accelerated.
His hands moved to cradle my face, lifting it gently to his. “Sorry,” he said, opening his eyes. He brought his lips to mine and kissed me gingerly.
I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t care.
In that moment, the only thing I needed was him.
I needed his eyes to tell me I wasn’t imagining what I was feeling.
I needed his lips to ease the conflict between my body and mind. I needed his hands…his fingers…to touch me, to erase my doubt.
I needed his body to remind me that nothing else mattered.
It was him and me.
He gripped the back of my hair as his lips languidly moved against mine. Our bodies molded together as our lips parted and our tongues met. I whimpered faintly as I tasted him, the mixture of whiskey and peppermint. I leaned back against my pillows as Aaron followed and anchored himself above me. His leg moved up between my open legs as he lowered himself on top of me. A soft moan echoed from deep in his throat, causing me to press my body into his to be even more connected.
The dimness of the room proved to be the perfect setting for this exchange, shrouding both expression and emotion in darkness. Wanting his skin on mine, I sat up, breaking our contact, and lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor.
Confusion and greed replaced sex tonight. There were no more words exchanged so maybe it was me needing the space. I didn’t know why, but I was scared.
No.
I wasn’t just scared. I was petrified.
The only thing that made it better was clinging to him tighter until we both drifted off to sleep, his body spooned up behind me.
* * *
“DADDY!”
Aaron and I shot up from bed and looked at each other with half-asleep, confused faces. Knowing she was awake and was going to barge into his empty room any minute, Aaron hurried off the bed, grabbed his boxers and rushed into my bathroom. Before shutting the door, he said. “She’s going to wonder where I am. Tell her I had to run out.”
He closed the door, and I jumped from the bed to gather my pajamas. Once I had them on, I opened my door and saw Delilah standing outside Aaron’s bedroom.
“Hey, sweetie. Your dad had to run out. He’ll be right back,” I said.
She skipped down the hallway to me. “Where did he go?” she asked.
Where did he go? Where did he go?
“He’s not at work yet, right?” she questioned with a sad expression. “He promised, if I was a good girl the rest of the night, you’d take me to the park today since we didn’t go yesterday because he was mean.”
I rubbed my temples from the blinding headache that formed. It was going to be a three-hitter day: aspirin, water, and caffeine.
Caffeine. Good call.
“No, he didn’t go to work yet. He went to Starbucks to get coffee,” I explained.
“Is he getting me a hot chocolate?”
“I’m sure he is.”
“With whipped cream?”
“Of course,” I replied. “So why don’t you go to your room and get dressed, and by the time you’re ready, he should be almost home, okay?”
“Okay,” she answered and ran from the room.
“And close your door when you get dressed, okay?”
“Okay,” she shouted before I heard the slam of her bedroom door.
One door closed…the other opened. My bathroom door flew open, and Aaron rushed out looking tired and disheveled.
“Thanks,” he said, approaching me.
His hand reached out and rubbed my arm. “No problem.”
“I better go get dressed before she catches me.”
“Sure.”
“Sorry for a…crashing here…last night. I was just…you know…”
“Don’t worry about it.”
It was all so awkward and uncomfortable, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. The conversation was the most we’d talked to each other in twenty-four hours, and after the intense exchange the night before, I was much more comfortable leaving everything where we left it last night…in the dark.
He started to exit the room, but right before leaving, he turned around, his expression concerned.
“Callie?”
“Yes?”
“A double-shot vanilla latte, right?” he asked.
A slow smile took some of the worry out of his expression, and I was both relieved and smitten. It may not be much, but the simple act of him remembering my drink of choice was something.
“Yes,” I replied with a smile of my own. “Thank you.”
While he was gone, I started breakfast, letting Delilah help me make funny shapes with pancake batter. She was already sitting down, eating her pancake she proudly said was a spider, when Aaron walked back in.
He looked more awake and at ease as he handed Delilah her hot chocolate and me my latte.
“You feeling okay?” he asked, looking me over.
I rubbed my temples. “Too much wine with Evelyn last night, but I’m fine.”
“Here,” he said, reaching into the cabinet above the stove. He took out an aspirin bottle and, after opening it, shook out two pills and handed them to me.
He filled a glass next to the sink with water and extended it to me. “Take those and see how you feel. Do you want to go lie down for a while?”
I shook my head. “No, I’ll be fine once this and the coffee kick in. By the way, I’m sorry about this. Showing up to work with a visible hangover is probably something my boss frowns upon.”
He smoothed his hands over his white cotton shirt before shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Well, I think your boss has a bit of a crush on you, so he might let it slide,” he said with a wink.
My stomach did a flip-flop, and I was reminded for the moment, at least in this house, he was mine.
He looked over my head to Delilah, who was occupied with her pancakes, and motioned me to the other end of the kitchen.
His hand brushed up my back as I joined him. “I feel, like, I should say something…explain…about last night,” he said uncomfortably.
I shook my head. “No, you really don’t have to.”
I wanted to say more, but my brain made the words stop before I could let them out. I was navigating new territory, one in which I wanted to be everything he wanted me to be, but still be true to myself. I had no idea how I was going to do that. I’d been on my own for a long time and worked really hard to build a life for myself. I wasn’t going to sacrifice that for anyone.
It was what my brain said. It was what I knew to be true, but things with him were too good to risk a truth with.
He leaned down, bringing his mouth close to my ear. “I missed you,” he whispered. “I felt like a jerk for being such an asshole to you, and I thought I messed up.”
“You didn’t…mess up.”
He pulled away to look me in the eye once again before whispering back in my ear. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you when you were gone all day.”
I pressed my lips together and processed what he said. I tried to think of an appropriate response, something between jumping on top of him, begging him to do it again, and running around the room screaming because I was so freaked out.
“I understand,” was all I could manage.
“I don’t know how we work this or what the rules and shit are, but I care about you and am having a good time.”
“I am, too. I think we just need to take it one step—”
“Is it time to go yet, Callie?” Delilah interrupted.
“At a time,” I finished.
He nodded his head at me. “We’re cool, then?”
I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and saw all I needed to know. “Yeah, we’re perfect.”