On the trail, the bonds I made were tighter than with friends I had had for much of my adulthood.
I LIKE TO SAY THAT I HIKED my son Mason out of me. I was forty-one when I had him, and in the days leading up to his birth, my doctors threatened to induce me because of my advanced maternal age. The day before Mason was born, I hiked three miles, up and down hills, talking to him and asking him to please come out. That night I went into labor. I was tired the week after he was born but quickly became restless. I wanted to be outside with him, not cooped up in a room. So I asked some women I met in a new mama group to join me for a trail walk. The first week, five women met me, and then eleven, and then fourteen, and it only grew from there. Instantly these women became my friends. On the trail, the bonds I made were tighter than with friends I had had for much of my adulthood.
Hike it Baby started with Mason and me but became this incredible, nationwide community around us, a warm cocoon that helped my son and I grow together. I felt strong hiking with a baby. I had always seen myself as a “big girl” and never felt very graceful on the trail. Once I had Mason and Hike it Baby, I found my stride through carrying Mason and leading others. With motherhood I felt a new pride in my strong body, and suddenly my wide hips and jiggling body mattered less.
Nature is the great neutralizer. No matter who you are, your baby will barf or poo on you, your hair will always be a mess, your clothes will never be perfect, you will realize you ran out the door without your kids’ shoes or wipes. This is motherhood. In the outdoors, none of that matters. There’s never a hike I go on with moms where someone isn’t giving another mom an extra jacket, a snack, a lift, a diaper, whatever it is that’s needed. The outdoors brings women together and takes away the traditional barriers we build.
Our society needs nature now more than ever. Children benefit when many of their early sensory experiences are out in nature, walking paths, being held by a mother or father or caregiver. Being in the outdoors helps children understand the world better. Through experiencing the natural world, they learn patterns, colors, sound. Everything a child learns in a classroom can start when they’re a baby or toddler, crawling on a trail or throwing stones in a creek. Go outside with your baby as soon as you feel comfortable, perhaps first sitting in the park, then venturing onto a trail, moving, hiking, and so on. The benefit to both the parent and the child is noticeable, and these will be the memories your child will have as an adult.
SHANTI HODGES
Adulthood’s distractions aren’t conducive to making new friends. Piling to-do lists, side hustles, and family commitments are just a few of the many reasons the phrase “too busy” leaves our lips. The best way to fast-track a friendship is to take it outside. Whether you’re ambling in your local park or on a multiday backpacking trip, a shared experience away from the constraints of a coffee date provides opportunities for deep, thoughtful conversation and connection.
Here are some ways to meet new people and forge bonds in the outdoors:
ASK If you meet someone you like at a networking event and you want to get to know her better, ask her outside.
GO ONLINE TO GET OFFLINE Using social media, you can find communities for every activity, in many corners of the world. Some are grassroots organizations, others are run through outdoors nonprofits like the Appalachian Mountain Club. The structure of these groups means you can depend on an organizer and interact with attendees before you even step outside.
TAKE A WALK Use your lunch break at work to stroll around the neighborhood. Invite a coworker to join you and challenge yourself not to talk about work.
PLAN A TRIP This is a larger undertaking, but the payoff is worth it (and planning can be equally fun!). Gather a group to hike a bucket-list backpacking trip, raft a river, or soak in a hot spring. You’ll be telling the stories for years.
ATTEND AN EVENT Research what’s happening in your local area. Check the flyers at your climbing gym or hiking lodge. What excites you? Surround yourself with people who are as enthusiastic as you.
MAKE A STANDING DATE Whatever the activity of choice, affix it to the calendar. Commit the first and third Saturdays of the month to, say, snowshoeing. Invite your friends to put it on their calendars, too. Encourage them to share with others that might be into breaking trail.
GO ANYWAY You never know who you might bump into when you’re doing what you love.
DON’T GET DISCOURAGED Finding new friends and deepening those friendships takes time and often goes in fits and starts. That’s the reality of adulthood. Don’t give up! Keep looking for ways to connect.
