Jennifer made a quick exit, leaving Riley standing on the curb, glaring at her mother.
“Riley?” Her mum’s voice sounded so familiar, so comforting, and Riley had to fight the urge to throw herself into her arms, like she had done so many times as a child. But she wasn’t a child anymore, and her mother’s presence wasn’t welcome. Yes, Riley had wanted to find her, to know about her biological father, but she didn’t want to see her, not in person. A phone call was all she needed.
“Mum? What are you doing here?”
Her mum gave her a pained smile and for a moment Riley thought she felt real sympathy coming from her. “I read in the paper about your father’s death. I’m so sorry.”
“Why? We haven’t seen you for eighteen years. It’s not like you’ve kept in contact.” Riley had yet to move, still standing on the pathway, her stomach rolling in knots.
“I know, but there are things you don’t understand. I’ve always thought about you.”
“Well, that’s okay, then. Doesn’t matter you walked out on us, as long as you thought about us.” She sounded bitter. She didn’t care. She was bitter, and angry. How dare her mother think she could just rock up the same day Riley buried her dad? Riley’s fists were still balled tightly, and she barely managed to control the fury that burned within her. She wasn’t a violent person, but stood here now, looking at the woman who left her, gave up on her, made her want to hit something.
“I know you’re angry—”
Riley held her hand up. “You know nothing about me,” she growled.
“And I want to change that. I want to explain what happened, why I left. And hopefully get to know you again.”
Her mother took a few steps closer. Riley could now see her face clearly. She had aged well in the last eighteen years, giving Riley a sense of how she herself would look in the future. They had the same dark hair, although her mother’s was longer, and she had the same high cheekbones and square chin. They weren’t similarities Riley relished right at this moment, staring at the woman who abandoned her.
“That’s not going to happen. You lost your right to know me when you left.” Riley reached into her pocket and pulled out her wallet. She unfolded it and took out her birth certificate, which she handed it to her mother. “All I want to know about is this.”
Her mother took the piece of paper, her eyes going wide when she recognised it. Her trembling hand was the only indication it rattled her. “How long have you known?”
“A few days. Why didn’t anyone tell me he wasn’t my father?”
“He didn’t know. No one did. He found out when you were ten. That’s why I left. He kicked me out, refused to let me see you. He threatened to kill me if I ever came near you again.”
“That’s bullshit.” Her dad was a lot of things but never violent. “Even if he did say that, there is no way he could have stopped you from seeing me if that’s what you wanted. You chose the coward’s way out and I’ll never forgive you for that.” She snatched the certificate out of her mother’s hand and shoved it back in her wallet. Her mother was lying, she was sure of it. No mother in their right mind would leave their child and never try to see her. Something wasn’t right, and she doubted she’d ever learn the truth. It didn’t matter now anyway. It was too late to rebuild her relationship with her dad because he was dead. They only thing she needed to know was who her biological father was. That might help her in understanding who she was, where she came from.
“Who was he?”
Her mother looked at the concrete, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets. “He was someone I worked with.” She glanced back up to Riley. “Your dad and I were having problems and Richard was there for me. We didn’t mean for it to happen and it didn’t last long. A few weeks at most. I ended things with him and then found out I was pregnant.” She shrugged. “Your dad assumed it was his, and I didn’t have the courage to tell him otherwise. I didn’t want to lose him. I had him put on your birth certificate, but I started having doubts you were his. I did a DNA test without him knowing, and that’s when I knew you were Richard’s. I had a new birth certificate issued, then hid it. I wanted you to know where you came from, but I couldn’t find the courage to tell you and your dad the truth. Eventually I put it out of my mind, until your dad found the new certificate.”
An affair. How cliché. All these years Riley was told her dad cheated on her mum, and it turned out her mother was the cheater. She guessed there were a lot of things she didn’t know about her mother, and the more learned, the more rage bubbled inside her.
“How did he find out?” She was a glutton for punishment, it would seem. She wasn’t sure she wanted all the answers but knew if she didn’t have them, she would drive herself crazy always wondering.
“We had a water leak in the roof, so your dad went up to clear out the loft, to get it ready for the workmen. He found your birth certificate in a box. He confronted me, and I admitted the truth. He was so angry. He hit me and threw me out. He said he never wanted to see me again but refused to let you go with me. He loved you so much. It hit him hard that you weren’t his.”
How dare she say that last part. Her mother had no right to comment on their relationship. “Is my father still alive?” Riley asked.
“Yes.” She paused for a moment and drew in a deep breath. “We got married nine years ago.”
Riley sank to her knees, fearing she would throw up. Her head throbbed. How can they be together? After everything they did to my family? “You’re married?” The words came out as a harsh whisper.
“Yes. You have a brother also.”
Her gut rolled, her sight blurring as she fought the urge to faint. A brother? This can’t be happening. “I don’t believe this. All this time you were with him setting up another family? No wonder you never bothered to come and get me. My dad had the right idea.” She got to her feet, determined not to show any more weakness in front of her mother than she already had. She stood toe-to-toe with her, her gaze hard as steel. “I never want to see you again. Please leave.”
“Riley, please.”
Her mother tried to reach for her, but Riley slapped her hand away. No way this bitch was going to touch her, ever. “No. You need to leave.”
“I can’t walk away again.”
“Fine. I’ll do it for you.” She turned away from her, yanked open her truck door, and got inside. She peeled away from the curb faster than was safe and drove away, not once looking back in the mirror at the stranger standing on her front lawn.
†
“Riley?”
Riley’s head snapped up to look through her passenger-side window. Jennifer stood in the darkness, her forehead creased with worry.
“How long have you been sat out here?”
When she had left her home, she had driven around for a while trying to calm down. An hour later she found herself outside Kelsey and Jennifer’s house. This was where she always went when growing up, when things were hard at home. This was where her best friend lived, only Kelsey wasn’t here.
“About an hour. I needed to see Kelsey and forgot she was in the hospital.” After Riley realised she wouldn’t be here, she couldn’t find the energy to drive away. She didn’t want to go home, and it was way too late to go to the hospital to visit her friend. She had no one else to turn to, so she sat here in her truck, trying to shut out the words her mother had said. A brother.
“Do you want to come in?” Jennifer asked, eyebrows pinched.
“I don’t want to disturb your evening.” Even as she said the words, she knew them untrue. She needed to be with someone, and Jennifer was the next best thing to Kelsey.
“You wouldn’t be. I was just trying to do some studying, trying to take my mind off Kelsey’s operation tomorrow.” She smiled ruefully. “To be honest, you’d be doing me a favour.”
Riley stared at her for a moment, checking for signs of subterfuge but finding none. “Okay.” She got out of the truck and followed Jennifer up the walk to the front door.
“Can I get you a drink?”
“Tea would be nice.”
“Go through to the lounge.”
As Riley passed through the hallway, she noted Jennifer’s textbooks spread all over the kitchen table. She sat on the sofa and briefly closed her eyes, listening to Jennifer making tea in the other room. A few moments later a hot mug was placed in her hands, and she took a grateful sip. Jennifer sat next to her, close but not touching.
“So, that was your mum, huh?”
Jennifer always had a way of cutting straight to the heart of it. It annoyed Riley and she was in no mood to talk. She glanced at her but saw nothing but open caring and genuine interest. She nodded.
“I assume it didn’t go well?”
I guess we’re gonna chat. “As well as can be expected. She told me she had an affair with a guy she worked with. Dad didn’t find out until I was ten, the week she left. He kicked her out and wouldn’t let her see me.”
“Well that’s bullshit!”
Riley grinned. “That’s what I said. She didn’t write, or come to see me at school, or anything. We never moved, so she knew where I was, but she didn’t care.”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
Jennifer placed her hand on Riley’s thigh, offering comfort. It helped settle her and she found the courage to continue, to tell her the worst of her problems. “That isn’t the bad part. She married my biological father and they have a son.”
“What?” Jennifer’s tea spilled as she flung her hands in the air.
At least Riley knew her own anger wasn’t petty. She thought she might be acting like a petulant child, feeling left out all these years, but seeing Jennifer reacting the same way bolstered her own emotions about it all.
“Yeah. Looks like she couldn’t wait to start another family.”
“Did she say why she came back now?” Jennifer asked as she wiped her wet hand on her jeans.
“I didn’t ask. She read about Dad’s death in the paper and then showed up. She could be telling the truth and maybe he did threaten her, but that doesn’t seem like him. He was devastated when she left. Given time he probably would have taken her back.”
“Will you talk to her about it?”
Riley sipped her tea, giving her a chance to consider Jennifer’s question. “I’m not sure I want to. She’s been gone so long, and now I know who my real dad is, and that they’ve had a family that didn’t include me, I’m not sure I ever want to see any of them.”
“What about your brother?” Jennifer asked carefully.
Riley met her gaze. Jennifer had asked the one question she was unsure how to answer. She knew in her heart she didn’t want to see her mother or biological father, but her brother? He’d done nothing wrong. “I don’t know. It’s not his fault, but I’m not ready to meet him.”
“Okay.”
Riley had had enough of talking about it. The events of the day had exhausted her. She looked over at the books on the table, deciding a change of subject would help lighten her dark mood. “So, how’s your studying going?”
“Not great. I’ve been reading the same paragraph for hours. It’s not sinking in.”
Perhaps not the wisest of subject changes. Jennifer had to be going out of her mind with worry about her sister. Christ, Riley could barely wrap her head around it, which meant Jennifer must be pulling her hair out. “Kelsey?”
“Yeah. I know she’ll be fine, they do hundreds of these operations every year, but I can’t help worrying.”
“Yeah, me too. She’s a strong woman. She won’t let anything happen to her or the baby.”
“She better not. The last thing I need is her leaving me with you,” she added, a smile tugging at her lips
Just like Jennifer, always throwing out the insults. Although it didn’t feel like an insult. Teasing is what it was, maybe even a little flirting? She could always hope. “Hey, I thought you liked me now.”
“Yes. Somehow you’ve managed to worm your way in.”
“I’m sure I’ll do something to piss you off at some point. It’s been a rough few days and I’m not at the top of my game. Once Kelsey is sorted and everything goes back to normal, I’ll be back to my annoying self.”
Jennifer gave her a sweet smile, then rolled her eyes. “I have no doubt about that.”
They stared at each other for a long while. Riley had the urge to kiss the lips that were so close to her own. What she’d said was true: the last few days had been rough, and she didn’t want to do anything stupid, and kissing Jennifer would be a stupid thing to do. She wasn’t even sure Jennifer liked her. No, that wasn’t true. Jennifer might not be able to admit it to herself, but Riley could see it in her eyes. She stood from the couch, putting her mug on the coffee table in front of her. The sooner she left, the better. Before she did something dumb.
“Do you want another tea?” Jennifer asked.
“No, I better get going. Hopefully my mum isn’t still waiting at my house.”
Jennifer stood also and shifted from foot to foot, twirling the hem of her sleep shirt. She was nervous, not an emotion Riley would equate with her ever.
“Do you want to stay here tonight?” Jennifer murmured, a slight blush tinging her cheeks.
That was not what Riley had expected her to say. “I’m sure she’ll be gone by now.”
“I wasn’t asking for you. I was asking because I don’t really want to be here by myself.” Jennifer looked away, looked everywhere except at Riley. This was hard for her to admit, clearly. “I’ll only end up awake all night worrying about Kelsey.”
Riley stared at her for a moment, thinking of and disregarding reasons to stay, reasons to leave. In the end she followed her gut. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
They locked up the house, then headed upstairs. Riley turned right, toward Kelsey’s room.
“Where are you going?” Jennifer asked in a quiet voice.
Riley turned around slowly, then indicated Kelsey’s room with a tilt of her head. “Kelsey’s room.”
“I, um, was kind of hoping maybe you’d stay with me, in my room.”
Now that was unexpected. “I’d normally say something crude here or tease you, but I can see how worried you are about Kelsey, so I’ll just say okay.” She pretended it was for Jennifer but in reality, she wanted to be as close to her crush as she could get. Nothing might ever happen between them and it could be the only chance she had. Riley knew she was taking advantage, but she didn’t care. She was too selfish. She followed Jennifer into her bedroom.
“Thank you. But make sure you stick to your side of the bed.”
She grinned. “No promises.”
Jennifer pulled out some spare sleeping attire from her chest of drawers and handed it to her. Riley excused herself to the bathroom to change, allowing Jennifer some privacy to change also. As much as she wanted to watch Jennifer undress, now wasn’t the time. Too much was going on for them both.
She came back into the bedroom, and Jennifer was already in the bed, waiting for her. Riley lifted her side of the duvet and slipped in, the heat from Jennifer’s body warming her skin although a good few inches separated them. She settled the covers over herself and willed herself to sleep. Being this close to Jennifer was torture, she balled her hands into fists to stop herself from reaching for her. It was going to be a long night.
“Goodnight, Riley,” Jennifer whispered.
“Sleep well, Jenny.”