My Love for Nature

All this tall grass has ruined my gold

acrylic nails & I know something’s dead

just beyond my window. I grew up

with rats running my floorboards

the smell that strains from a body

caught in a trap. In the city

what little I have of an ass

is always out, a simple wind blow

from Marilyn Monroe–ing the street.

I promised myself I’d be naked,

here, in all this nature, but the first day

I found a tick clinging to my arm hair for dear

life & decided no way I’m exposing

my pussy to the elements. My love

for nature is like my love for most things:

fickle & theoretical. Too many bugs

& I want a divorce.

My love for the past is like my love

for most things. I only feel it when

I leave. Last week, before I was here

my uncle drove me from our city

to the suburbs & sang “Project Chick”

in the car. When we parked

he asked me to take off my shoes

& there we walked, silent, barefoot

circling the lake, trying to not step

in goose shit.

He walked in front & I trailed behind

both our hands clasped behind our backs.

He said:

When you were my daughter,

it was the happiest days of my life.

I wish you would come home.

Best to stay gone, so I’m always in love.

My gold nails are fake. The floorboards

carry death. My bare feet skirt the shit.