EARLY THE NEXT morning, we hiked. It wasn’t the kind of hiking I was used to. We left the marked paths and found game trails while Finn kept up a constant barrage of instructions. “Reach out with your mind. Feel the forest. Find the plants, the animals, the humans, the supernatural beings. Feel for something different, sharper. Something that feels like home.”
“Yoda, the whole forest feels like home. Wasn’t that your point yesterday?”
“If it were that easy, Eleanor, you’d have moved in with me three years ago when I asked. I live much closer to the forest than you do.”
“I thought you were joking!”
“I never joke about cohabitation. The gate must be closer to your end of the forest than mine, and you didn’t want to leave it.”
“Or I didn’t want to move in with my fuck buddy.” Finn grinned, but not before I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. “Sorry, Finn. That was harsher than I meant it to be.”
“It is the truth, isn’t it? We are only friends with former benefits.”
“Emphasis on friends, and isn’t my friendship benefit enough?”
He smiled at me, but his expression was veiled. “Sit.” He motioned towards the forest floor and sank gracefully into a cross-legged pose. “Let’s talk about magic.”
Three hours later, I was stiff, thirsty, dirty, and nowhere closer to understanding magic. “So, you’re saying my magic is earth-based, and I can affect the earth and growing things? I can feel anomalies in the land and heal them? And that this isn’t crazy?”
“Yes. You’re bound to the earth—all the Fae are to differing degrees. Most are tied to different elements as well. Since you’re royalty, which generally means power, it wouldn’t surprise me to find that you have other—maybe even stronger—affiliations. You’ve never exercised your power on purpose, and you need the Fae magic to fill your power coffers, so to speak, so you’ve never had much to work with. I’ve gone back and forth between planes often enough to feel the difference between having plenty of power to draw on and having to rely mostly on my internal stores. Without Fae magic to use, everything you do will draw on your own personal stores—it’ll be exhausting, like a physical workout. You’ll be able to find trickles of magic here and there, but it won’t be enough to exercise your power.
“That’s the main reason why so few Fae stay here and that the ones who do are usually lesser powers. It’s uncomfortable to be in a place where you’re cut off from the raw energy that is Fae magic. The Fae were responsible for keeping the earth in balance, environmentally speaking. When they were forced out, the imbalance accelerated, leaving the earth polluted and hovering on the verge of climatic destruction.
“I’ve been told that once we open the first gate, that will fill you up and give you the power you need to unlock your abilities. However, before that happens, you need to learn the basics. It’ll be like learning to ride a bike. We’ll start now with training wheels so you can figure out the mechanics and start to find your balance, so that when the trainers come off, you won’t fall down.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. “You know that I don’t actually ride a bike, right?”
“It’s a metaphor. Go with it. Now, concentrate.”
I closed my eyes and listened to Finn’s hypnotic voice. “Breathe deeply. Imagine you can see the trees surround you. You can feel them, they’re alive. You can feel the small plants and the ivy creeping up the tree trunks. You can feel the vibrations of the earth. You can feel the footsteps of humans and animals. The earth speaks to you.”
My breathing slowed until it was almost imperceptible. I stretched out with my senses. Finn’s presence, warm and bright, but tinged with darkness, was in front of me. The ground, cool and shadowed, was solid below me, dark and rich. The trees were alive and swaying to the song created by chattering squirrels and singing birds. They rose up around me and the life force that emanated from them filled me with ecstasy and anticipation. There was something else, something I couldn’t quite identify. Something exuding hunger and frustration was stalking a human runner from the deep shadows.
Energy surrounded me, encompassed me. I couldn’t label it—only that it was stronger than anything else in the forest. It called to me irresistibly, and the power of that pull was terrifying. I opened my eyes to tear myself away and found I was floating about five feet up in the air.
I crashed to the earth, bruising my tail bone.
“Motherfucker,” I muttered.
“Anything?” Finn asked.
“Everything is so alive.” I shivered, remembering what it was like to be flooded with energy. “I also felt something different. Something wild and scary, not natural.”
“Where?”
“That way.” I gestured off to the west. “Maybe if we start there next time, I can pinpoint it, especially now that I know what I’m looking for.”
“That’s great. Do you want to try now?”
“Hells to the no. I am exhausted and hangry. Time to head home.”
The weekend had passed in a blur. I sorted and packed as if I was going on sabbatical. I told myself constantly that’s what this was—a short break from the real world. Whenever I was most distracted and least aware, Finn would appear behind me and either whack me with a training sword—which still hurt like crazy—or throw tennis balls at me. He claimed he was “testing my defenses” and I was bruised and battered by Sunday evening.
“Eleanor, you need to be aware of your surroundings. You should’ve heard me behind you. If I’d been a vampire, you’d be dead.”
“If you’d been a vampire, I wouldn’t have invited you into my basement and turned my back on you. What do you want from me? Other than a three-month fencing class at the community center, I’ve no training. How am I supposed to learn how to defend myself against weapons and magical creatures in five weeks?”
Instead of answering, Finn threw a tennis ball at my head. It bounced off before I could even react. Why isn’t there some kind of super power related to reading speed? I growled in frustration, grabbed the ball, and hurled it back at Finn. It hit him in the center of his face and blood welled from his nose immediately. My jaw dropped. I was pretty sure I couldn’t have done that if I’d tried. “Sorry.” I hunched my shoulders up and pulled my head down in apologetic imitation of a turtle.
“Don’t apologize. That was great.”
I allowed myself a tiny proud grin and then Finn hurled the ball back at me like he was trying for the fastball pitch record at Yankee Stadium. “Dammit! Enough!” The ball exploded inches from my head, and there was a small rain of felt and dust, causing me to sneeze.
Finn smiled smugly. “That’s how. You’re extremely powerful. You need to figure out what your powers are and how to harness them.”
“In five weeks?”
“All we need are the basics, and for that, you need to be alert. So pay attention.”
The days turned into a pattern of increasing urgency. Trying to balance responsible-human Eleanor with leaving-on-a-quest-Fae Eleanor was ridiculous. I handed in my resignation, wrapped things up at work, and tried to rent out my house, but most of my time was spent with Finn practicing various forms of combat and magical training: hand-to-hand, dagger work, throwing knives, sparring with the rapier Finn had found for me. I was exhausted, covered in bruises, and ached in places I didn’t even know I had muscles.
Afternoons were spent in Forest Park as I tried to hone my magical skills and pinpoint the frightening, but desirable, anomaly that hid deep within the trees.
After three weeks, I still wasn’t any further along than I’d been on the first day. I could only use my magic as a defense if I was extremely pissed off and not too tired. I was hit or miss with getting myself into a deep enough meditative state to follow the pull of the dark magic, and I could feel my own anxiety amping up with Finn’s frustration. “You need to concentrate. You are running out of time.”
“I’m trying. Don’t you think if I could, I would? I’d do about anything to get you off my back,” I groused.
“It’s not your back that I want to be on.”
I rolled my eyes. “No.”
“C’mon. We’ve been living together and working side by side for three weeks. Celibate. How are you still alive?”
“We haven’t been sleeping together for years. What makes this time a big deal?”
“I’ve been here with you constantly. You test my resolve.”
“I test your resolve? I don’t think it’s your resolve that’s keeping you out of my bed. Friends only, Finn.”
“If we’re going to keep spending this much time together, we might as well reacquaint ourselves, or we’re likely to go mad from the abstinence.”
“You said we’re practically immortal! That makes this next year of closeness merely a drop in the bucket, time-wise.”
“Using my words against me isn’t kind. I could die of celibacy-related complications!”
“No one is keeping you abstinent. Just because I won’t sleep with you doesn’t mean no one will. Why don’t you phone a friend?”
“You’re a cruel woman, Eleanor Jane Morgan.”
I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “You’re a strange man, Finnegan Daniel Byrne. I’m glad you’re my friend.”
Later than night, I got Finn to agree to a temporary cessation of training and sneak attacks. I bought a six-pack and handed him an open beer. “Let’s sit on the porch.”
He followed me out and leaned against the porch rail.
“Finn.” “Ellie.” We spoke at the same time and then laughed.
“You first,” Finn said.
“I’m scared. Everything has changed so fast. I don’t have a job. In two weeks, I won’t have a house. I don’t know where we’re going after I open the first gate, and I don’t even know where it is, yet. I don’t know if I have enough money to pay for all the plane tickets and hotel rooms. I’ve never flown before, and that scares me, too. I’m scared of what will happen when the gates open and what will happen if I can’t open them. I’m scared of who I might become.”
Finn slipped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “This is new for me, too. I can’t help you find the gates, but I can offer support during the process. I can reassure you on a couple of things. We won’t be flying. You’re a full-blooded Fae coursing with uncontrolled magic. We are not going 30,000 feet in the air and hoping you don’t lose control. This is road trip territory. Don’t worry about money. We’re covered. The exchange rate between here and the Fae plane is pretty good.”
I cocked my head and looked at him. “What?”
He laughed. “You have an expense account, thanks to compound interest and long-term investments.”
“So, I’m rich?”
“Think of it like having a corporate credit card with no limit. You have access to a lot of money, but if you buy a yacht, you’re going to have to explain it to someone in accounting.”
“There’s an accounting department?”
Finn sighed, clearing not appreciating my banter. “Drop it, Ellie. You have money. That needs to be the least of your worries.”
I aimed my sweetest smile at him. I enjoyed irritating him. He ignored it and continued talking, “Don’t worry about becoming someone different. Having magic and awareness of a different world won’t change who you are intrinsically. You are caring and empathetic. You are optimistic and a little reckless. You are the strongest woman I’ve ever met, and I’ve met quite a few in the last 400-plus years. You are beautiful and good. You are…Ellie.”
I stared at him, mouth agape. Then I leaned forward and placed my hands on either side of his face. “Thank you, Finn. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I kissed him. I’d meant for it to be short, a thank you between friends. But Finn moved his lips against mine, opened his mouth, and ran his tongue over my lips. I pulled back and out of his grasp.
“Sorry,” he muttered.
I stood up. “I need to go to bed. Are you coming?”
Finn raised an eyebrow. “With you?”
“Stop. It’s not happening.”
He followed me inside, and as I walked up the stairs, Finn whispered, “I love you…”