Chapter Thirteen

Jack walked over to Axl’s empty chair and sat down. “Well. Seems like I came just in time for all the excitement.” He tried to take the temperature of the room. It seemed that everyone was holding their breath.

“Juliet was giving an info session about therapy,” Delores said. “And Axl got a little upset.”

But Juliet didn’t look distressed. In fact, she was assessing Faith carefully, maybe worried more about her than the insult that A-hole Axl had just hurled.

“I’m really sorry, Juliet,” Faith said. “Axl is angry. At me, at everyone. Please don’t take it personally.”

“The thing is, dear,” Delores said, “that he was taking his anger out on Juliet. But he wasn’t treating you very well, either. It’s important to have a partner who respects you and doesn’t demean you or say mean things to you.”

“It’s okay, Faith, I’m not offended,” Juliet said. “And Axl is right that everyone has to work on their issues. Including me.” She added softly, “And including him. Red flags in a relationship are someone criticizing and putting himself on higher ground than his partner, being defensive, and withdrawing.”

“I’d say Axl was waving all of those flags, honey,” Delores said. “He’s a red flag danger zone.”

Juliet spoke openly to the room. “Life is always throwing us curveballs. Seeking therapy requires a certain openness. An understanding that you can’t always help yourself on your own. And a certain humility that you’re not perfect, that there’s room for change.” She looked at Faith again. “Everyone gets to that point in their own time.” She paused. “And Axl is right that we should do everything we can to understand ourselves.”

Faith stood up. “I’m really sorry,” she said. “It was—nice meeting all of you.”

“Stay for some sweets,” Juliet offered.

She hiked a thumb toward the door. “I’m going after him.”

“Okay, Faith,” Juliet said. “Thanks for coming.”

Juliet was amazing. She was open and honest. She’d handled things professionally and well. Anyone who could talk about feelings like that in front of people and connect with them had all his respect.

Tessa passed a plate of chocolate mini-eclairs, taking one first. The room seemed to be collectively breathing a sigh of relief.

“You’re right, Juliet,” Tessa said, “life is always throwing curveballs. I’m expecting a baby in a month and—and I’m afraid everything’s going to change.”

“It sure is,” her grandmother said bluntly, which made the color drain out of Tessa’s face.

“Well, change is part of life and is often a good thing,” Juliet said hurriedly, before her grandmother could say more.

Tessa shrugged and smiled, one hand on her abdomen. “I just love our life right now. Don’t get me wrong. I’m so excited for the baby, but I’m afraid that I’m going to be exhausted all the time.”

“Life does change when a baby comes,” their mother said. “It becomes a different kind of life. A different kind of joy.”

“The thing is,” Mr. Castorini said, “life never stays the same no matter what age you are. But I don’t think we would want it to.” He squeezed her mother’s hand and winked. “I think because of the losses we’ve had and what we’ve gone through, we really appreciate each other.”

Jack was slowly realizing that this gathering of family and friends was turning a little intimate. The info session vibe was gone. He was okay with that…as long as he didn’t get called upon to say anything.

“I lost my Gabe a long time ago,” Jack’s grandmother said.

Oh no. Not his granny, too. Talking about…feelings. Jack shifted in his seat. Too bad the water main break was resolved, because he needed an emergency excuse to leave ASAP.

“I have beautiful memories.” His granny cleared her throat. “I have a confession, though. I’m not here to learn about therapy. My relationship problem is that I have no relationship. But I want one. Anyone know of any eligible bachelors in this town?”

Juliet’s grandmother spoke up. “I think it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there.”

“What about you?” Adele said. “Do you date?”

“Oh, I’m too old for that,” Sophie said, her cheeks coloring. “And too busy.”

Vivienne raised her hand. “Gram, I’d like to say that those might be excuses. I mean, you have a really full social life, and you do go to bingo, but you tend to hang out with your girlfriends. Maybe it’s time to take some chances.”

“I’m just going to be honest here,” Noah said.

Not Noah, too! Jack was screwed. Everyone was sitting around eating and…sharing.

“I’m terrible at relationships. That’s why I avoid them. But I met someone at a benefit recently and—I don’t know. I just don’t want to mess this one up.”

“I’ll be honest, too,” Vivienne said. “Ever since I’ve been home, I’ve been confused. I mean, I appreciate the job at Christmas Every Day”—she glanced over at Delores—“but I’m just not sure what’s next for me.”

“You’re doing a fine job, dear.” Delores patted Vivienne’s knee. “You’re full of Christmas cheer.”

“Axl was right about me,” Juliet said suddenly.

“No, he wasn’t,” Tessa was quick to say. “The guy’s a jerk.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Delores said. “He’s got a terrible attitude and he was lashing out. That sweet Faith—”

“He’s right that I have to do more to understand the mistakes I’ve made. I mean, I’ve talked about them in therapy. But I need to do more.” But what? What could she do? Jack personally thought that a person’s past should be left in the past. Lord knows he’d tried to do that with his own.

“Honey, everyone makes mistakes,” Juliet’s mother said. “You’ve matured and moved on from them. So maybe you should stop being so hard on yourself.”

That was wise, Jack had to agree. The room fell silent, everyone contemplating the wisdom. But eventually, people started staring at him.

“What do you think, Jack?” Tessa asked.

He couldn’t even process his thoughts, because everyone was looking expectantly his way. A clock ticked loudly. Except it was his own watch, which he knew was not loud at all. Or maybe that was his pulse skyrocketing. He’d just walked into his worst nightmare. Talking about himself.

He looked at Juliet, surrounded by her family and friends. He truly sucked at saying how he felt in private, much less in a roomful of people, but Juliet had been brave, so he could try to be, too. “I—um—first of all, I think you handled that difficult situation really well. And second… Everybody grows and changes. If you need to explore your past for your own peace of mind, I say go for it. I haven’t come across many people who freely admit their mistakes. Most of us hide them. You’re able to talk about feelings. And make people feel better. Actually, Juliet, you leave just about everyone you meet feeling better about themselves. You’re open and honest and…that’s a gift.”

Everyone was staring at him. And Juliet was blinking like she had something in her eye. But what he’d said was the truth. He had all the respect for her, even if his personal feelings for her were muddled.

Juliet’s eyes grew wide. He hoped he hadn’t somehow hurt her by what he said. “Thank you, Jack,” she said, sounding a little choked up.

“Jack might have a point,” Tessa said. “How would you explore your past? I mean, what could you do?”

“As I said,” Juliet said a little defensively. “I’ve worked on this in therapy. I’m not sure what else I can—”

“How about something old-fashioned.” An idea hit him like a big gust of wind. “Just talking with those guys—um, your exes.” Juliet sat up, clearly startled. But nonplussed, he continued, “I mean, they were there, too. Why don’t you just ask them their take on it?” The more he thought about it, the more he thought his solution was direct, straightforward, and something to actually do. Something he was good at.

“I—no,” she stammered. “That would be—awkward.”

“I mean, we are talking big breakups here,” Tessa said, jumping in to aid her sister. “Hurt feelings. Relationships that were never the same. That kind of thing.”

“Yes, but all that was a long time ago,” Jack said. “If you talk to your exes, you might figure out what went wrong and why you didn’t fix it earlier. And then…you’re done. Fresh perspective, then the past gets put to rest.” He dusted his hands together for effect.

“I think Jack is right,” her grandmother said. “Because knowing yourself is never a bad thing. It gives you power not to repeat the same mistakes. And to help others.”

“Jack, it’s thoughtful of you to help Juliet,” Mrs. Teeter said, “but what’s your own personal takeaway from today?” She smiled gently. “I’m only asking because we’ve all shared something a little personal, and I thought you might want to, too.”

Oh no. Jack’s stomach plunged. He’d come so close to getting off the hook. “I’m all for therapy,” he said, clearing his throat and tapping his fingertips together. Then he decided he’d have to shut this down right now, because there was no way in hell he was going to mention his own struggles. “But therapy isn’t for me. I’m not very good at talking about my feelings.”

“I’m going to call you out on that, son,” his grandma said. His grandma. Why couldn’t his family be supportive like Juliet’s? “That right there is something you need to work on.”

“Well, I’m not knocking therapy in general, that’s for sure,” he said. “I just don’t have the time for it right now.”

“The thing is, it’s like exercise,” Viv said. “No one really has time. But you’ve got to make time for your health anyway, right?”

“Talking about feelings is hard,” George said. “But I believe the benefits are worth the risks. If you can’t expose your vulnerabilities to the people you love, how can you have an open and honest relationship?”

“That’s exactly right.” Delores tipped her head George’s way. “We argue, we disagree. Half the time the man’s socks don’t make it to the hamper, but George has never once failed to call me in thirty-five years to let me know if he’s running late. And every Friday he brings me my favorite ice cream, and believe me, that makes up for a lot of little annoyances. And you know what? We trust each other. We know we’re best friends and no matter what happens, I know he has my back. And we laugh. And…that special spark that we felt at the beginning is still there. That’s what gets us through.”

Jack was in awe of the Teeters. They had a long, loving relationship, the likes of which he’d never seen. So it was possible—for some people. Maybe the kind who weren’t as damaged as he was.

The topic finally shifted to other, easier things, like the holiday lighting contest and this week’s gossip. Thank goodness.

He looked around at everyone eating and drinking and laughing. Juliet seemed relaxed and happy around her family and friends. She should be, because she’d shown her professionalism and her caring for everyone and had deflected Axl’s nonsense just fine.

He’d come in here to save her if she needed it. But he was leaving feeling like he just might need saving himself.

…

“So what’s up with Jack showing up all tough and angry looking?” Vivienne asked as she gathered the mugs after everyone had left. They were cleaning up and talking about the night, while Daisy snored in her bed in the corner, pooped out from all the excitement. Even Juliet felt more relaxed, her hives all but disappeared.

Tessa stopped collecting dishes and cups and stood up, hands on hips. “First of all, we need to tell Juliet what a great job she did.” She turned to her. “You handled yourself very well, and we’re proud of you. And by the way, poor Faith. Axl is a handful, and I don’t mean a handful of muscle.”

“Yes, we’re proud,” Viv said. “But then, we’ve always been proud, and there’s no doubt in our minds you’re amazing. But come on, people, you have to admit it was a little thrilling to see the cowboy show up and look like he was a second away from tossing Axl out on his…well, axle. Staring at Juliet when she didn’t know he was staring. Ready to jump to your defense at any second.”

“I can see it now—I really think Jack likes you.” Tessa used a singsong-y voice, as if they were discussing a high school crush.

Juliet shook her head. “Jack can’t help jumping in and coming to the rescue. That’s the cowboy in him. And I don’t need anyone coming to my rescue.” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to club him or…kiss him. For being there if she needed him.

“Jack and I are complete opposites,” Juliet continued, as if she were trying to talk herself out of something. “Maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to him.” She was always attracted to men who were bad for her. Why was that?

“At least you’re aware of that,” Viv said. “So you don’t make a mistake again.”

“Jack is a serial dater and a commitment-phobe, just like Jax from last year,” Tessa said. “They even have practically the same name. But I still think that it’s possible to get down to his heart.”

Juliet shook her head. “I think you have a soft spot for him because of Leo. But I’m not looking for a relationship. When I am ready, I want someone who’s comfortable with expressing their love. Like Dad. He never failed to tell us he loved us and was proud of us.”

Vivienne turned around at the door with her hands full of dirty mugs. “Well, Jack took all of those Christmas panties that some woman tried to return three months late after buying them online. And then helped me to re-sell them on the spot. He basically saved my job.”

“Wait a minute.” Juliet stopped wiping down surfaces. “Jack saved your job by selling those panties?”

“Yep.”

Jack had sold the panties to help her sister? And Jack had walked in tonight to be there for her. Jack, who wouldn’t get caught dead talking about his feelings. Why did she have to keep learning nice things about him?

“The real takeaway from tonight is that Axl was right,” she said. “I haven’t done everything possible to know myself.”

“Juliet,” Tessa said, “Axl is a jerk. Can’t you just chalk your past up to youth and inexperience, forgive yourself, and move on?”

“Lots of people make mistakes with relationships. But mine seem… I don’t know. More serious. I mean, I almost made it to the altar twice.” She paused. “Even if I didn’t have to worry about my job, the truth is that I’m never going to be ready for a relationship if I can’t figure out why I’ve made such bad choices.”

“You are so hard on yourself,” Tessa said. “Harder than anyone else I know. I wish you could just put your bad experiences behind you.”

“Tyler came back into the shop again yesterday,” Viv said. “He was asking about you.”

“He wanted to have coffee,” Juliet said. “I don’t know, maybe I should do what Jack said. Get Tyler’s take on our breakup.” Her mind began churning. “And Ryan’s, too. Maybe if I talk with them, I can figure out why I waited so long to break things off with both of them.”

Tessa shook her head adamantly. “That’s opening up a can of worms you might not want to open. I mean, Mom tells me Tyler asks about you every time he comes into the bakery. I know everybody loves him, but I think he’s a little… I don’t know. Overly optimistic. Be careful he doesn’t misread your intentions.”

“It seems to me there were good reasons you didn’t marry those guys,” Viv said.

“Viv’s right,” Tessa chimed in. “Why do you need them to revisit those reasons?”

Juliet thought about how she’d always attacked every problem down to the studs. “Maybe Jack is right.” She hated to think that. Because it would be really difficult. And awkward. And scary. But it also made perfect sense.

Tessa put an arm on her shoulder. “You know yourself best. Whatever you decide, we’ll support you, you know that.”

“I know it. Thanks to you both.” With that, her sisters helped stack the chairs in the storage room and the mugs in the break room’s dishwasher. Viv found a vacuum in the closet and ran it over the awful shag carpet. Then suddenly the place was tidy, everyone was gone, and Juliet was left with Daisy, who seemed to be anxiously awaiting her ride home. “You ready to go see your mom, babe?” Juliet asked.

She felt like she’d handled Axl well enough. And she had him to thank for giving her the push to figure out what was holding her back once and for all.