Chapter Eighteen

A week later, Juliet walked into Bonjour Breads! right after the first wave of the morning rush had passed. Vivienne was helping her mom and grandma behind the counter, and Tessa was sitting at a table with her feet up, working on her laptop and sipping something that was probably decaf.

“Hey, everybody,” Juliet said with a little wave.

“Hi honey,” her mom said as she quickly and efficiently placed a fresh batch of chocolate croissants into the front bakery case. “Want one?”

Oh yum. The perks of belonging to a family who baked. “Can I have a coffee, too?”

Her grandmother poured her one and added a splotch of cream and a spoonful of sugar, just the way she liked it. Ah, the comforts of home. Well, the bakery was her almost-home, where the people she loved hung out. Mostly voluntarily. Or not, in Viv’s case.

“How’s the town counselor gig going?” her grandmother asked as she handed over the coffee. “We saw the mud photos. That certainly looks like an interesting job.”

Oh no, not the mud photos. The Gazette must have been desperate for sales to print that stuff. She decided to focus on the positives as she made her way to Tessa’s table. “It’s been pretty fun so far. Doni from the book shop and Brandy from the cat rescue asked my opinion about their flower boxes so they can plan coordinated color choices. And the kids in the music studio were playing “Hot Cross Buns” too loudly and disrupting the spa clients next door, so both businesses are going to split costs on some soundproofing. And have you noticed the music that sometimes gets piped in along Main Street? I didn’t know that shopkeepers take turns choosing that.”

Her mom paused in restocking the napkins. “We chose Bruce Springsteen’s greatest hits.”

“I love that,” Tessa piped in.

“Not everyone was so fond of Metallica,” Juliet said. “Mr. Teeter was a little upset, but I think he got over it.” She looked over at Tessa. “Everything okay?”

Her mom, grandma, and Viv all eyed Tessa, who was about to bite into her croissant. “What? Do I look not fine? This dough is perfect today, Ma.”

“Why are you here?” Juliet asked her sister.

Tessa placed her hand on her back and exhaled. “Nothing terrible, relax. My Braxton-Hicks are really acting up today and I’m having back pain. I decided to come over and work on my books for a little while with my feet up. And get some special loving care from my mom and gram,” she added with a smile and a glance back at them behind the counter.

“You sure you’re all right?” their mother asked. “You know, once I went into labor, I had every single one of you girls in under an hour. Even you, Tessa.”

Yikes. “I just saw Dr. Shah yesterday.” Tessa calmly rubbed her abdomen. “She said I’m doing great and everything looks good.” She smiled and looked down. “Just three more weeks, little one.” She looked up at everyone. “Then this little loaf of bread is coming out of the oven.”

“Awww.” Viv made a little rounded loaf with her hands, “that’s so sweet.”

Tessa chuckled at her own little joke, then turned to Juliet. “Shouldn’t you be at city hall?”

“I’m meeting Ryan Malley for a little chat.”

That got her a few raised eyebrows, but no commentary. Yet.

“I haven’t seen him in ages,” Tessa said. “Remember when he used to practically live with us?”

“He was a good kid,” Juliet’s mother said. “And he still comes in and says hi with his kids. All adorable redheads.”

“He and Pam just had their fourth boy,” her grandmother reported. “Royce, Ryder, Roman, and Renegade.”

From a psychological viewpoint, Juliet couldn’t help but wonder, did Pam feel left out as the only non-R name?

“Nice.” Viv cracked a smile from behind the bread cart. “They saved the terrifying name for last.”

“Why is Ryan coming by again?” her mother asked as she loaded a few perfectly round brioche loaves into the bakery case. “Because it’s been what, eight years?”

Yep, eight years since that fated day in city hall where she’d torn up their marriage license right on the big marble steps and dumped him. Hard to believe that was four kids ago for him. “We’re just going to have coffee,” Juliet hedged.

Vivienne walked over and sat down. “I know that you’re doing what Jack suggested in your group last week. But don’t do it, Juliet. Nothing good can come of it.”

“I have to say that I think Viv is right,” Tessa said. “It was a long time ago.”

“Look, we grew up together,” Juliet said, waving her hand dismissively. “We’ve known each other for ages. And I’ve been thinking long and hard about this.” Actually, she wasn’t really at all sure if this was a good idea. But she needed the closure in order to move on.

“You broke his heart,” her grandmother called from the counter. “Not to mention all that flooding. And who knew how expensive fire hydrants are?” She gave a thoughtful pause. “Just saying, but I’d be tempted to let that one lie.”

Juliet chuckled a little. “I’m not sure either one of us has lived that down. But I need to know where and how I screwed up. I need to have control over my own mental baggage so I can get my clients back.”

“Make sure he doesn’t misunderstand your intentions,” her grandmother warned as she cleaned the espresso machine. “That happened to me before I met your grandfather. Gaston borderline-stalked me for years.”

“You had a boyfriend named Gaston?” Viv exchanged a wide-eyed glance with her sisters.

“Yes,” Gram said matter-of-factly. “He actually was very burly and brawny. Everyone thought I was crazy to reject him. He didn’t take it well.”

“Did he hate women who read?” Viv asked with an evil smile.

“Did he eat five dozen eggs every morning to get large?” Tessa chimed in.

“Was he roughly the size of a barge?” Juliet couldn’t resist adding.

“Okay, ladies,” her mom called, handing a tray to her grandmother to take into the back. “Let’s get some work done here.”

“Seriously, Juliet,” Viv said, standing up. “This is going to open up a giant can of worms from the past.”

“Honestly,” Tessa said, “I’d worry about that more with Tyler. He’s the one who took things hard. Ryan, I think, has really moved on.”

Juliet nodded in agreement. “Ryan’s happily married, and we’re both way past all that heartbreak.” She thought about something else. “Plus, this is a public place. If things go south, I’ll have all of you here to bail me out.”

“Here he comes,” her mother said, suddenly pretending to be very busy cleaning the already-immaculate counters. Her grandmother made the sign of the cross and looked upward.

“Just want you to know I’m not budging,” Tessa said with a smile.

Juliet rolled her eyes and ran to greet Ryan with a hug. He was tall and lanky and red-haired, and looked practically as youthful as when they’d started dating, senior year of high school. He’d also brought something with him—a stroller with a sleeping baby tucked inside, a bright shock of red hair sticking straight up from his head.

“He went and fell asleep again,” he said as he bent to check on the baby. Juliet smiled at the careful way he tended to him, straightening his booties and tucking the blanket carefully around his sleeping form.

The baby stirred in his sleep. “Renegade. He’s so sweet,” Juliet crooned.

“Has he lived up to his name?” Juliet’s grandmother asked as she and her mom came to ooh and ahh over the baby, too, while Viv and Tessa admired from afar.

Ryan quirked a smile. “Well, he’s definitely different from his brothers. He’s learned to hurl his bottle at them with amazing accuracy.”

“A free thinker,” Tessa said.

“A survival skill,” her mom said pointedly.

“A future major league pitcher,” Viv chimed in.

It occurred to Juliet that if she and Ryan had had kids, they’d probably have had red hair, too. That felt a little weird, thinking how close she’d nearly come to marrying him.

If Jack and she had babies, would they have his pure blue eyes? Her green ones? Or a combo? And how about his thick, wavy hair? And the cute little dent in his chin that only appeared when he laughed.

She shook her head. What was she doing? She realized she was smiling at her wayward thoughts.

Ryan tucked the blanket around the still-sleeping Renegade and looked around the bakery. “Hey, Montgomerys,” he said with a smile, hugging everyone. Juliet couldn’t help but remember all the times he’d come in here saying that as a teenager.

This was strange, too. In a time-warp kind of way.

Why had she invited him here? Oh, right. To figure herself out. To get her job back. And for peace of mind, that elusive thing.

“Can I get you something to drink?” she asked Ryan. “I thought we could sit down for just a few minutes.”

“Sure, I’ll take a coffee.” Viv, her mom, and her grandmother were now surrounding the stroller to further exclaim over the baby. As was Tessa from her seat. So Juliet walked behind the counter to pour the coffee.

“Hey, gorgeous,” someone said just as she’d filled a cup.

She looked up to find not Jack, but another blast from her past, in a suit and tie, no less. Standing behind the counter, propping his elbows on the bakery case. And speaking in a very flirty tone. “Remember me?”

“Devin Chambers,” Juliet said in a neutral voice. “What brings you to Blossom Glen?” He was still as good-looking as ever, with his fade haircut, expensive suit with narrow pants, and pretty hazel eyes.

Juliet remembered being thrilled when they’d both swiped right on a dating app. They’d gone out a couple of times, but something just wasn’t right…what was it? It had been a few years ago, while she was still in school and working and tutoring.

“I’m presenting a project to the zoning commission next week that’s going to be amazing for your little town here.” He looked around at the faded but quaint bakery, with its checked tile floor and its faded après-Monet water lilies that Juliet’s mom had painted long ago. “You work here?”

Juliet barely heard him. Because her heart had leaped straight into her throat, and she was having trouble swallowing. Breathing, too.

Devin was…Omnibuild?

The relentlessly aggressive developer?

And then the memory came back to her. Devin Chambers had insisted on taking her to a really expensive restaurant on their first date but had tortured the college-aged waitress, asking for his order to be sent back to the kitchen twice, even making her reheat his coffee. Then he bragged about undertipping her, which made Juliet surreptitiously drop more money on the table. Then she caught him checking out the waitress’s butt on the way out.

Oh, and didn’t he call Ellie “mangy” when he’d picked her up? Mangy!

Yep, a one-date wonder for sure.

She struggled to remember his question. “Um—this is my family’s bakery. I’m actually a therapist.”

“And still single, I see,” he added.

Ugh. Yuck. This dude was bad news.

“I heard the whole town’s going to the meeting next week,” an older gentleman who’d gotten in line behind Devin said. Juliet looked over to see the elusive Mr. Blossom. She gave the older man a smile and an encouraging wave. “Great to see you, Mr. B,” she said. She was a whole lot gladder to see him than Devin, that was for sure.

Devin acknowledged the older man and said, “Well, I’ve got some exciting plans for this old town. My company’s doing an amazing job turning small-town America into profitable America. You should come listen to my pitch.”

“That land you want is foreclosure land, son,” Mr. Blossom said.

“That’s the best kind, sir,” Devin said, winking at Juliet. His dimples showed when he smiled, which was attractive, but unfortunately, his personality was not. “Get it cheap and build it out, that’s Omnibuild’s motto.”

“Well,” Juliet’s mother said politely enough, but her brows were tented with worry. “We love our charming town. Whatever happens, we would hate to see its character changed.”

Her mom put Devin’s breakfast sandwich and coffee on the counter along with Mr. Blossom’s coffee. As Devin reached for his bag, he handed something to Juliet.

Please God, not a napkin. A quick glance confirmed that yes, it was indeed a napkin, and he’d written his number on it. “See you at the meeting,” was the best she could do as she tore it up into a million tiny pieces under the counter and pitched it into the trash.

As Devin left, Mr. Blossom shook his head sadly. “That man could be the ruin of our town.”

While she was behind the counter, she tucked an extra chocolate croissant into his bag. “Yep, and I hope you come to the zoning meeting, Mr. Blossom. Jack’s going to need all the help he could get—from all of us. The future of our town really is at stake.”

“Well, thank you. Maybe I will be there after all.”

She wished him a good day and brought two of the warm croissants over to the table for her and Ryan.

“Just as amazing as ever,” he said, exclaiming as he bit into one. “So, what’s up, Lulu?” he said. “Besides the big meeting everybody’s talking about.”

She took a deep breath. Understanding herself suddenly felt a lot bigger than just keeping her job. She realized more than ever that Jack was right—she needed to do this in order to move forward with her own life.

Suddenly, she saw an image of Jack laughing, little crinkles around his eyes forming, making him even more irresistible. And another one…of Jack lying in her bed, a sheet slung low on his hips. Of Jack doing the most amazing things…

Jack as her future? Mr. Do-not-commit?

She pushed all that out of her head. She wasn’t going there with Jack, no matter how amazing she felt. She wasn’t going to get carried away, and she wasn’t going to envision a future with anyone until she figured herself out. Then one day, she could go on and maybe fall in love with the right person and have a family of her own.

She plunged in. “Ryan, we go way back. And we used to be best friends. But I need a little bit of help, and I thought of you.”

“Yeah, sure, Jules. Anything.” He smiled his usual boy-next-door smile and leaned over. “By the way, I’m completely over that marriage certificate incident. Although people around here might never stop talking about it.”

She gave a weak chuckle. “I’m sorry about that. But mostly, I’m sorry about waiting so long to call our wedding off.” Waiting until three days before the wedding to break it off was…bad. It had shocked Ryan, wasted a lot of money, and been embarrassing. And it had been heartbreaking to her, too. But she needed to understand why she hadn’t done it much sooner.

“Apology accepted.” He looked like he was debating whether or not he should say more.

She jumped in to say, “I recently started working as a mental health therapist at Headspace but…but I’ve been exploring my past, to help me become a better counselor.”

He shot her a look that told her he still knew her pretty well. “Jules, everyone in town knows about your marriage counseling clients being on hold.”

“Right. Okay!” The familiar embarrassment seeped in. But she kept going anyway. “I just wanted to know from your point of view what…happened with us? I mean, do you have insight into why…why we almost got married?” She felt a little cringy. Like, maybe she should have listened to her grandma and let this sleeping bear hibernate permanently. “You were an important person in my life and I…I was wondering your side of the story.”

Juliet tapped her fingers on her mug while she struggled to answer the same question herself. He was a great guy, but they never would have been happy together. He’d wanted to live on a farm and thought she wanted to, also. Why did he think that? Why had she allowed him to?

He polished off the croissant, wiping his fingers on his napkin. “We were friends for a lot of years,” he said. “Right up until the day you broke my heart.”

“But you don’t hold that against me anymore, do you?” she asked, glancing at the sleeping child.

“No,” he said quietly. He gave a little smile. “My life worked out great.” He paused. “But it took a while.”

“I never wanted to hurt you,” she said. She’d loved him, she knew that.

“Maybe that was the problem, Jules. We hung on too long because we didn’t want to hurt each other.”

She thought about that. “Well, I wanted you to know…you helped me so much. You supported me through my dad’s death. You never thought of me as marked because I was struggling with my mental health. And you helped me gain my confidence after all of that.”

“I always knew you’d come out of all that stronger than ever. And we had some great times.” He grinned. “Besides, your mom still gives me extra food whenever I come in here.”

“My family always loved you.”

He nodded. “For a while there, I was part of your family.”

She was trying to summon up how she’d felt when she was with him. But it was so long ago. And the most she could come up with was a panicked sense that something just wasn’t right.

Yes, she remembered feeling that way quite a lot. Why had she ignored it?

“Since you asked,” he said, lifting his gaze to meet hers, “I honestly thought you shared the same vision as I did about life. Frankly, I was shocked to learn that you didn’t.”

She remembered how furious she’d been that day at the courthouse. He’d described their life—which he seemed to have tidily planned—including her taking her place on his farm. Working side-by-side with him to run his family’s business.

She’d panicked. She’d finally seen how deeply he’d invested in that dream. His dream, not hers. And he’d somehow assumed that she’d wanted to be a part of it, too.

That was when she’d ripped up the license and bolted.

“Pam loves the farm,” Ryan said. “She gets up at five a.m. to help me, then homeschools the kids and does all the business paperwork while I’m working. It’s a tough business, but it’s fun.”

“I’m really happy for you,” she said. But she never would have been happy with that life.

“I guess I could never understand why anyone wouldn’t want a life on the farm.” His tone was cordial, as if they were old friends who saw each other every day instead of only at a distance for the last eight years. “It’s so beautiful there. The kids are growing up with plenty of fresh air and sunshine.” He looked at her. “I never meant to ignore your dreams. I just—thought you wanted what I wanted.”

Juliet thought again about the discontent that she’d swallowed for a long time. “Maybe I let you think that, Ryan.” But she still wasn’t sure exactly why. Had she been that desperate for love? Or not want to hurt his feelings at the expense of herself?

He smiled and shrugged. “Live and learn?”

She squeezed his hand. “Live and learn. Thanks for meeting with me. And for being honest.”

“It’s no trouble,” he said. “I’ll always love you, Juliet. We helped each other grow up. You were my first.”

She reached over and hugged him. Until she heard someone clear their throat. And drew back to find Jack standing at her side.

…

“Hey there, Ryan, buddy. Hey, Juliet.” Jack smiled pleasantly—he hoped. Because it was a stretch.

“Oh, hey there, Jack,” Ryan said with a friendly wave.

Ryan was nice enough. But You were my first?

“What are you doing here?” Juliet asked.

“I was just passing by. You go on and finish your…um, meeting. I’m going to grab some coffee.” Actually, Sharon had told him Juliet was meeting Ryan and had hinted that it would be good to find out how it had gone.

Emotional support, is what Sharon had called it. He was so confused. How did you know when to talk about your feelings and when to just listen?

He walked up to the counter. “Hey, Mrs. M. How are you today?” He waved to Tessa, who was sitting at a back table with her feet up, doing paperwork, and to Viv and Juliet’s grandmother, who were working in the back room.

“I’m great.” She greeted him with a smile. “What can I get you?”

He dropped his voice. “Something strong. I’m meeting with a couple of my architect friends on some ideas for the junkyard land. We’re getting a presentation prepared for the zoning meeting.”

“How about something with a nice jolt of espresso in it? To really get those ideas flowing.”

“Surprise me,” he said. While she was making his coffee, he hiked a thumb behind his shoulder. “How did the big talk go?”

Mrs. Montgomery leaned over the counter and smiled. “Jack, it was your idea for Juliet to do this. And she’s taken it to heart. Some may question the sanity of it, but…I’m actually changing my mind about that. So I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. And if you’re interested, I have a suggestion for you.”

“What’s that?” he asked as she handed him the coffee and he pulled out a bill.

She folded the bill back up in his hand by grabbing it and pushing his hand back. “First of all, coffee’s on me. And second, a guy who listens is sensitive. He’s being there for someone.”

She gave him a knowing look. Maybe she’d been talking to Sharon, because they were both into this listening thing.

“I see.” He didn’t, really. Okay, he did. But he really didn’t want to hear about Juliet’s relationship with another man. Not that he was jealous, but…it was about another guy. A guy who wasn’t him. But he reckoned he could bend an ear for her.

“We’re just finishing up,” Juliet called a minute later. “Want to walk back to the office with me, Jack?”

Juliet’s mom gave him a little nod.

“I’d love to,” he called. And he meant it. Juliet had been there for him, and he wanted to do the same.

A few minutes later, they were walking down the street in the middle of the midday bustle. “Well, I—um, what did you discover from your talk?” That’s what a friendly ear would say, wasn’t it?

He imagined himself grabbing her arm, right here in the street. Ryan is bland, sunny, agreeable, and calm. You are fiery, full of life, and passionate.

Yes, that was exactly how it was. How it had been between them.

He found himself pointing to a park bench across the street in the park, so they crossed over and sat. It had a great view of the little river that meandered through town.

“Ryan and I had a nice talk. It was healing. I knew that when we dated, I kept pushing down the feeling that I couldn’t share the life he wanted. But I somehow kept denying it. Not speaking up about it. Until I couldn’t deny it anymore.”

“Somehow, Juliet,” he said softly, “I don’t think that is ever going to be a problem for you now.”

She lifted up her head. “Why not?”

“Because…” He couldn’t say what was inside of him. Which was too…emotional. Yet, she was looking at him with the eyes of someone who needed someone to say something. And he knew that the truth he held close inside him would help her. “Because you don’t hesitate to say what you feel. You did it today. I mean, anyone who could approach a man they almost married and ask him point-blank about what went wrong is just plain brave. And you’re also kind. And you’re driven. And…you’re going to find your answers. Then you’re going to be a kick-ass relationship counselor in this town and you’re not going to let anything stop you.”

Where had all that come from? It had poured out of him, much to his chagrin. But the next thing he knew, his arms were full of Juliet, who was sobbing on his shirt.

Okay, well, if this is what letting out his emotions did, he should try it more often.

She was holding on vise-tight to his neck. His heart seemed to have somehow turned to the consistency of melted ice cream. But he didn’t mind it at all.

“Thank you,” she finally said, pulling back and swiping away tears. “What you said was just right.”

Great. Now Ryan was hopefully tucked nicely into her past, which made his day. Jack had somehow managed to say all the right things. Except acknowledge the truth that he could no longer avoid.

That this didn’t feel casual. And he was in way over his head.