Conversations with God IV

Visiting Day goes by last name

in alphabetical order

and happens every other week

S for Shahid

so Clyde and Umi come at the end

of the month

And for a whole week

I counted down

There’s enough time here

to keep track of the seconds

There’s another big room

outside all the locked doors

It’s where the world waits

to meet us for an hour

As soon as I see her

I know Umi is trying so hard

to keep it together

Her eyes are like thick glass

holding in a tsunami of tears

She doesn’t cry

She gets up from her seat

and hugs me

I let her hold me

but I don’t close my eyes

because maybe I will melt in her arms

and she’ll have to carry me home

in her cupped hands

Clyde’s voice is like chains

from the other side of the round table

reminding me of where I am

and how I got here

We can appeal but it will take

a long time, Amal

Clyde says

Jeremy Mathis is stable

but he’s still under

andI wish I had more news

Amal

Amal, I’m gonna do everything I can

to get you out of here

Everything in my power

Inshallah

Umi says from the other side

of the round table

The tables in the visiting room

are some of the few round things

in here

so many squares

so many corners

so many boxes

It’s like when white folks

say things like

trying to fit a square peg

into a round hole

this is what they mean

But I’m no square peg

More like a round world

to myself

being forced into

so many boxes