Ay man, you gotta make sure

you keep up with the work

Once you get outta here, you’ll

have all or most of your credits

Kadon says, while shuffling the deck

Amal—my name’s Amal

I say

Nigga I know what your name is

I’m not a nigga

Oh you one of them niggas

Some other guy comes to sit next

to Kadon, and then another, and

another, and soon I’m surrounded

At least these aren’t the

white boys who beat up on me

but still

What, you think you the shit

just ’cause you been on TV?

one of the guys says

This is juvie but that dude

looks like a whole-ass adult

so I don’t look him in the eye

I don’t look up from my blank

notebook at all

You a high-class criminal?

You a bougie gangsta?

I’m neither, I say

I’m neither, he repeats

That white boy was your homie

Y’all got into a lovers’ quarrel

or some shitHe end up half dead

I don’t even think about it

but I raise my hand to put

pencil to paper

finallyfinallyI’m drawing

I start with a curved line

some shading

eyes, nose, mouthmangled

all this to keep me from

spilling words

that will make me want to swallow

them backSay things that I’ll

regret

So I draw and draw

And he pulls the notebook from

right under me

Before I can even throw a punch

Kadon and some other guy hold

me backeven while

I turn into a stormRage

brewing in the pit of my belly

You really need to calm the fuck down

I was talking to you and you should’ve

been listening—

What I was trying to say is

You one of us now

You one of us