I’ve been programmed
I get it now
When we know
what we’re supposed to do
and when we’re supposed to do it
there’s no room
for memories
for regret
for fear
for dreams
to slip in
Every single minute of our time
is scheduled
except free time, which isn’t free
Except time in our cell
which isn’t time
it’s hell
when we’re left alone
with just our thoughts
our memories
our regret
our fears
our dreams
to slip in
like a sliver of light
So I read and read and read
when there is no blank paper
no blank canvas
to tell this story
I return the books to the library
and I freeze where I’m standing
when I see who’s in there
Imani
is standing next to a table
where three other guys are sitting
reading
Hey, Amal
she says
And the sun rises
over the city on my chest
What you been reading?
Let me see
She takes the books from me
one by one
reading the front and back covers
You have good taste, Amal
I nod
and keep my eye on the other guys
They let me use the library today
for some small-group work
These young men are submitting their
writing to a website
Their words will be read by
thousands of people
That’s cool, right?
she says with only her eyes smiling
And I glance at those guys
heads down
typing words into a laptop
I take my books from her
and keep it moving
Hoping that those guys
will leave
so I can ask
if this is something I can do, too
or is this something just
for good behavior