Brotherhood IV

I press my face

against the glass

on the door to my cell

looking out into

the dayroom

for a pencil

a pen, a marker

anything

so I can

write Lucas back

and Zenobia

and Umi

and Grandma

and Shay and Dionne

And that’s when I see him

Kadon

His back turned to me

hunched over

head down

as if they forced all the life

out of him

He’s handcuffed

and Tattoo is holding his arm

and my stomach sinks

I wanna see Kadon’s face

I wanna see if it’s still there

the same crooked smile

eyes bright

looking as if this is not

the worst thing that’s ever

happened to him

A smile

that says that it could be worse

it could all be much worse

So I

BANG and BANG and BANG and BANG

Tattoo turns to face my door

but Kadon doesn’t

It’s Stanford who shows up

in my door’s window

and asks

What you need, Shahid?

I lick my lips

thinking of something to say

or to ask so that he could let me out

to talk to Kadon

before Tattoo walks away with him

So I just ask

What’s up with my man Kadon?

Ay, yo, Williams!

Stanford calls out

to Kadon

But Tattoo pulls him away

but I

BANG and BANG and BANG and BANG

Yo, chill!

Stanford says

Kadon! I call out

through the closed metal door

I need to see his face

I need to see what they did to him

Kadon!

And finallyfinally

he looks up

even as Tattoo pulls him

and just about drags

him out of the dayroom

He looks up and toward my door

and I see his face

like

a pink balloon ready to burst

his bottom lip hangs so low

that it almost touches his chin

and

one eye is sealed shut

swollen glossy

and

I wonderI wonder

if there’s even an eye there

anymore

Kadon trips and Tattoo drags him

Kadon doesn’t fight

So I

BANG and BANG and BANG and BANG

There’s nothing you can do
Shahid

Stanford says

and walks away

And I scream

through that small

glass window

hoping

hoping that

it will

shatter