IF ONLY SHE could blame someone else for her predicament. Unfortunately, no one else was culpable, not even by association.
“Vex happened years before I started working for Steeple,” she said. “And ending up here was my fault… I got tired of sitting in my apartment waiting for him to knock.”
“Another reason you’re living here.”
“I have to be able to do my job. How would you feel if I got between you and your work?”
“That’s what you’re doing now,” he said, backing up to go into the bathroom with her close behind.
He turned on the shower and shirked his pants to step under the spray. As the steam rose, obscuring her view, the idea of joining him appealed.
Until voices interrupted her fantasy. “Could be he killed her.”
“Don’t count her out. She’s scrappy.”
That second one was Strat.
Leaving Connel, she went into the living room as Strat and Niall got to the top of the stairs.
“You reach an agreement?” Niall asked her.
Strat was checking out her apparel or lack of it. “Looks like she reached something else.”
He hadn’t missed her purse scaled across the floor either. Somehow that had become a victim of their passion and she couldn’t even remember it leaving her hand.
“Better that than fighting,” she said, tucking the sheet in over her breasts. “Either of you want a drink?”
“Making yourself at home, Scamp?”
“If Conn has his way, I’ll never leave,” she said, delighted to find a coffee machine and sink behind the bar.
“Where is he?”
“Shower,” she said, switching on the machine.
“You’ve got to keep your head,” Strat said, sitting on a stool at the other side of the bar. “Keep thinking straight.”
“The truth is, it’s out of my control,” she said, figuring out the machine.
“Yeah, neither will take orders.”
“That’s her job.”
Everyone turned to Connel’s voice coming toward them from the bedroom. New pants, shirt, all put together, though his hair was damp. Mmm, damn, she should’ve joined him.
Her finger jumped to grind the beans, seeking purpose.
“Want to hit the club?” Niall asked Connel when the machine was done.
“Hustle will be stacked to the rafters tonight,” Strat said. “If the McDades go in there for you, Scamp… You’ll hit the headlines.”
Continuing with the coffee, she retrieved a cup. “I don’t want to hit headlines or anyone to hit anything. Evander won’t be at Hustle tonight.”
“Not all night, sure,” Strat said. “But he might go early. Hang out until—”
“You think he’ll spend the evening having sex with other women before meeting me for sex?”
Hardly adoring. Insulting, actually, given he claimed to care about her.
Strat snickered. “Apparently, you don’t mind sharing.”
She couldn’t even look at Connel or Niall.
“Thanks,” she said. “Makes the night real special. After waiting years to be with me, he gifts me an STD on our first night together.” She faked an insincere swoon. “How romantic.”
When he laughed again, she joined in and poured the coffee.
“What is that?” Niall asked. “Your first night together?”
“His parting gift at lunch yesterday,” Strat said. “He told her to meet him in a hotel tonight.”
“Tonight?” Connel said. “The appointment’s real?”
“It’s no big deal,” she said, taking the first espresso down the bar to put it in front of him. “I never intended to go.”
“Naw,” Niall said. “But means we know where he’ll be…” His focus went to his boss. “Alone.”
“He won’t be alone,” Strat said. “Vex doesn’t go anywhere alone. Guy’s shit scared of his own shadow. Growing up with brothers like his, don’t think he ever threw a punch. Why’d you think my boy and his crew were always at his back? Not ‘cause they loved him, ‘cause he needed them. Security will be there.”
“In the room?” she asked, shocked at the idea of performing with a live audience.
“Outside the room,” Strat said and shrugged. “Or inside, whatever you prefer, I guess. I’m sure McDade’s got guys who’ll watch if that’s your—”
“Let’s stop talking about this,” she said, going back to the machine to repeat the process. “It’s weirding me out. I get a physical reaction when I think about it.”
“Think about what?” Strat asked. “Screwing?”
“Screwing Evander Manzani,” she said. “I should get a medal. Seven years avoiding a guy’s cock has got to be some kind of record.”
“I’m amazed he’s let you avoid it,” Strat said. “I know some of the shit he’s done to women who—”
She hit the button to grind the beans, cutting him off while showing him a broad smile. The prospect of force would terrify any woman. Sometimes that possibility kept her up nights. Any time there was a noise, or she spooked herself, Evander was her first thought. He could force himself into her apartment, into her bed, whenever he chose. There, but for the grace of God went she.
As soon as the machine stopped, Niall spoke, “Why didn’t ya tell him to fuck hisself?”
“Because she likes her head on her neck,” Strat said. “You should be impressed, not judgmental. Woman’s kept herself alive and out of his bed. We guys came up with crews at our backs, we walked with armies. Scamp here’s on her tod… as you would say.”
“She’s got daddy, granddaddy—”
“Please, you ever met either of them? Seen the way they talk to her?”
“Strat,” she said, trying to soothe and prevent him from ramping up.
“No, if he’s gonna blame you for Vex’s shit, he should know what he’s talking about. Her daddy and granddaddy disagree with how she lives her life and blame her for everything too. You’d get along swell.”
When Strat rose, Niall did too. Shit, this couldn’t come to blows. Abandoning the coffee machine, how the hell would she stop—
“Hold,” Connel said, cool and calm. Although it pained or pissed off the others, their shoulders did drop a little. He put an arm out to stop her passing him. “Niall, get Strat introduced to the guys on tonight. They need to know his position.” Niall turned to glare at him. “Or we take this to the basement, but you know how that ends.”
“Fuck,” Niall spat out and stalked off.
“Strat,” Connel said before he moved. “Your boy runs with Manzani… is that gonna be a problem?”
“Did. Past tense,” Strat said. “He’s got no love for Vex or his old man. My boy’s straightened out.”
Connel didn’t give any clues on whether he believed that. “Wanna watch my woman? You’re a McDade. You get that? Before anything else.”
Strat looked at her. He hadn’t asked for any of this and was being drawn back into a world he’d fought to free himself from.
“I get that,” her friend said.
Her heart wept. She wanted so desperately to apologize, but sentiment wouldn’t change anything. As he’d said, no one gave a shit about intentions.
“Get outta here,” Connel said and Strat went.
Following orders. Because of her.
Tracking his progress, she kept on staring even after he’d disappeared down the stairs.
“He’s got a thing for you.”
She whipped around to Connel. “It’s not like that,” she said, tired of always having to justify herself. “I’m the same age as his daughter. He looks out for me.”
“Yeah, he better. I’m paying him to keep you alive.”
“Then cut me loose,” she said, raising her arms as anger heated inside her. “Kick me out. Send me away. If I’m so damned inconvenient—”
“Control your anger.” She’d said that to him and then they’d… “I don’t have time now,” he said like he read her mind. “The hit fucked my whole day and now this bullshit…”
“I’m sorry Daly got hurt.”
“This is not only about you,” he said, curling his fingers around a tendril of hair hanging over her cheek. “Our families have been enemies a long time.”
Since they lost Dorsey, best she could figure. That wasn’t the time for mysteries or work. Saving life and limb had to be the priority.
Would pleading dissuade him from confrontation?
The truth revealed another secret. “I don’t want Evander to know it’s you,” she said. A frown creased his brow. “Send your guys. Don’t go with them.”
“Maybe it’s why I’m fascinated,” he muttered, confusing her. “You don’t know integrity, loyalty—”
“Would you stop?” she snapped, smacking both hands on his chest to shove, though he didn’t move. She caught the sheet before it fell from her breasts. “You say that like it’s no big deal—”
“Loyalty is everything. Not having it… That’s foreign to me.”
“But it’s not true,” she said. “I love my family. I kept them out of the Manzani mess to protect them. I did this. I agreed to be yours to protect their livelihoods, their reputations.”
“I send my soldiers out there to defend you and your reaction is shame? My family is everything, my people, my name, it’s my birthright, my responsibility—”
“You think I’m ashamed? Of your family? Shit, Conn, I’m a complete fucking idiot around you! I’m ashamed of me! What kind of woman falls into bed with a guy as dangerous and powerful as you without expecting it to be a play? You record me, threaten to ruin me, and what do I do? Have a foursome with you!” Her throat narrowed; she couldn’t breathe and talk at the same time and had to gasp for air. “I lose all sense around you. I lose every ounce of sanity, every inhibition… Every second we’re together, all I want to do is drag you to bed… Fuck, I don’t even care about bed, I’d probably do you anywhere! I’m so desperate to please you, to just be near you, and it doesn’t make any fucking sense!” Gulping in another breath, all of her tingled with weakness that culminated in the sickness of butterflies dancing in her stomach. She couldn’t look at him and face her humiliation so walked a dozen paces toward the window. “When I think about Evander touching me, from the second we met, it revolted me. He revolted me… I promised I’d never share myself with him. With you, I can’t… I can’t stop sharing… I can’t stop wanting you…” Her head went back as she appealed to the heavens. “There’s something wrong with me. I’m supposed to be smarter than this.”
The glide of his fingertips down her upper arms was the first hint of his proximity.
“There are cameras in every room up here.” Those fingertips sizzled against her, drawing lazy lines on her sensitive flesh. “I control them from my phone. They’ll be on live feed… for my eyes only.”
“Because Dasha is coming over?” she asked.
Was he asking her to put on a show?
“Whenever I’m not here, I’ll be watching.” The low rumble of that brogue obliterated whatever was left of her weak defenses. “No one touches you unless I’m in the room, no one without my express permission.” As he spoke, he took control of the sheet, dropping it to the floor to cradle her breasts. “And we’re gonna forget everything you just said. You give a guy like me that kind of power over you, he’ll exploit it. I’ll exploit it. I’m dangerous, remember?”
Her head fell back against him. “It tastes so good…” she breathed, her hand snaking around to his thigh. “If you were evil, you wouldn’t warn me, you’d just exploit me.” Cupping the bulge in his slacks, she squeezed and rubbed him through the frustrating material. “Conn…”
“Not that voice… Now you know what it does to me, you’re exploiting it,” he said, grabbing her shoulders to spin her around and scrutinize her face. “You know what happens if you play me.”
If he got himself killed for pride, they wouldn’t get that far.
“Stay here. With me,” she said, sliding the leather from his belt buckle. “It’s safe here.”
“He doesn’t get to touch you and come for my guys without consequences. No one does.”
“If there’s security, you could get hurt before you see him.”
“We create a distraction,” he said. “Get his guys out so we can break in.”
Okay, that was a little reassuring.
“We could have sex,” she said. “Somewhere he’ll see. That would send a message.” And he was safer in bed with her than anywhere near Evander. “Conn.”
“I thought you didn’t want him to know I’m your guy.”
“Because I don’t want him to hurt you,” she said. “But I thought I lost that argument.”
“You did.”
“He’s been watching me for years,” she said. “Off and on. I don’t think he’ll react well to learning you were inside me less than twenty-four hours after we met.” Which put a thought in her head. “You’re not going to show him the footage, are you?”
“Because of our deal?”
“Because I don’t want him to see me like that, to know me like that.” When she tried to push away, he caught her in his embrace. “I don’t want him to see me naked or to know—”
“You scream when you come?” he asked. “Or hear that sharp little inhale that escapes when I kiss you… or the satisfaction I get in the surrender when you sink against me?”
She didn’t know she did any of that. Obviously, he did.
“I have to leave with Strat,” she said.
“Why?”
“If I don’t and Evander’s people know I’m still in here…”
“We’ll spread word you went out the back.”
“Is there a back?”
“If you don’t know, he doesn’t. We need the element of surprise showing up at the hotel tonight.”
With that, she could help. “Can I give you something?”
“I don’t have time now—”
“Not something sexual,” she said. He’d already declared his lack of disposable time yet was still there. “Something in my purse that might help you later.”
He held her for another second but relented, and she scurried over to retrieve the plastic from her purse.
When she turned back, he was right there. “This,” she said, holding it out to him. “Platinum Suite.”
His intrigue became a scowl. “He gave you a key?”
“If you can create a distraction and his guys aren’t on the floor, won’t it be easier just to waltz in?”
“Says a lot,” he said, turning it over in his hand. “Sends a message. He knows he gave you this… if I use it to get in his room…”
“There’s only one person it could’ve come from,” she said. “I know. He’ll think either you killed me or—”
“I’m your guy.”
Their eyes met.
“I have no love for the Manzanis,” she said, resting a hand on his chest. “I know what your family means to you. I don’t take what you’re doing for me for granted either.”
“Don’t leave this building.”
“Will you come back here after?”
“Maybe.”
She smiled. Never committing. Staying loose. He was protecting her; she couldn’t ask for more. Shouldn’t want it or even be thinking about it.
Maybe after their showdown, one of them would be down or gone. Everything was a mess, and it was all her fault.