“Donnie, why do you hang out with those guys?” Karen demands, her hands tight on the steering wheel. “They treat you like crap.”
“Shut up,” I say. I think they accidentally put some sort of jerk juice in her IV in the emergency room last week, because she’s been a pain in my ass since she got home.
“Why should I shut up? It’s true. Right, Mom?” Karen looks at Mom.
“Karen, don’t look at me, look at the road. I think you should concentrate on driving and not on talking,” Mom says, her hands spread on the dashboard in front of her. We come to a stoplight, and Mom says, “It certainly wasn’t a very nice thing to do, Donnie, inviting you to the movies and then not showing up. What if Karen and I weren’t out practicing? You’d be stuck out there in the cold for two hours! And you’re just getting over an ear infection. I don’t see why you didn’t call us.”
I slump down in the back seat. I wish Dad were here.
“It was just a joke,” I mumble.
“Real funny joke,” Karen says as the light turns green. She stomps on the gas, flattening Mom and me against our seats.
“Slow down!” Mom yells, both of her feet up on the dashboard. “Slow down!”
Karen takes her time slowing down, and says calmly, “Donnie, they made you stand out there like some sort of reject. Mom, I’m going to park at home and go over to Amanda’s. You don’t need that, Donnie.”
“Karen, what about dinner? Slow down, please.”
“I’ll eat at Amanda’s.”
“Karen, it’s eight o’clock. They eat at six. This is our street, slow down.”
“I know this is our street! You think I don’t know where we live? Amanda and I’ll make something. Get off my back.”
“You need to slow down when you’re making a turn. And don’t speak to me like that, Karen. I’m just concerned.”
It’s funny when you think about it, how you never know what’s going to change Karen from a normal person into a screaming psycho. Karen pulls into our driveway and slams on the breaks.
“I made a mistake, Mom! One fucking mistake and you won’t let me forget about it!”
“Karen,” Mom says quietly, “watch your language.”
Karen ignores her and opens the car door. Before she gets out, she says, “It’s not like I did it on purpose, you know! It’s not like I said, ’Know what would be fun? If I stopped eating and passed out in front of Mom and Dad so they could take me to the ER and treat me like a fucking half-wit for the rest of my life.’ For fuck’s sake, I’m eating! I eat all damn day long! I’m going to be a fat fuck, and then you’ll be happy, right?”
She gets out of the car.
“Yes, Karen,” Mom says, “I’ll be happy when you’re a fat . . . fuck.”
Karen makes a noise that sounds like a laugh and stares at Mom from outside the car.
“I know your father and I didn’t teach you to talk like that,” Mom says.
“Yeah, well, you and your husband aren’t the only people I learn things from. You don’t get to decide what I know and what I don’t.” Karen slams the car door shut, leaving Mom and me in the car.