You are mine.
The three words rattled around her brain as she healed. For two nights she’d fallen asleep with Kede at her side. For the last two mornings, she awoke with him staring at her, an expression she refused to identify written across his features.
But it wasn’t just his appearance that unnerved her. No, other things were changing. Her skin continued to darken, slowly easing from pale to deeply tanned, a hint of gold adding to the new tone. Even the wounds plaguing her took on the hue as they healed.
And the healing… With Kede’s nearness, she recovered even faster than before and Resane’s scans confirmed what she felt. The skin was sensitive to the touch, but pain no longer marred her body. It had transformed to a dull, annoying ache rather than the debilitating agony of before. Exhaustion still dogged her healing, but the medico assured her that would soon wane.
There were only a few things overshadowing her recovery. One was the chip still present in her brain, threatening her life. The medico visited off and on during the day, scanning her and prodding the injection site while also documenting the changes as she transformed from Terran to fully Doshan.
He said her transition would be complete soon. The idea both excited and scared her.
The only other thing ruining her healing was the fact that she smelled. Bad.
Joyce looked from beneath her lashes, watching Kede work at the small desk in the corner. She’d assured him he could return to duties, that she’d call him if she needed his assistance. He’d refused to leave, stating that she should never have to wait for help and being nearby would ensure her health and safety. She hadn’t questioned him about her safety. Part of her didn’t want to know what else hung like the sword of Damocles over her head.
Watching him, she waited for his comm to beep. He took morning meetings with his officers and she prayed today was no different. Normally, he kept two screens raised, one to his left and another to his right. That left the center of his desk clear. His attention often flicked to her. But, when the meeting with his officers began, the center panel flickered to life and he was mostly hidden.
With luck, when that panel was engaged, she could carefully ease to the bathing unit and get clean before he even noticed she’d moved. She would have asked for his assistance, but his help didn’t cease at the door to the bathing area. No, he remained at her side, with his back grudgingly turned, while she took care of business.
She was not getting naked and showering with him so close. She wasn’t sure if she’d die of embarrassment over him seeing her plump, jiggly body or jump his bones. As she healed, she was easing toward the boning.
So, she’d be sneaky.
The low tone of the comm diverted Kede’s attention from the screen before him and the center of his desk hid him from her. Perfect.
The deep timbre of his voice reached her, the lyrical rise and fall of the Doshan language flowing through the air. Yes, yet another meeting with his officers.
Slowly and as quietly as possible, she slipped from the bed. The soft floor cushioned her, keeping her steps silent as she crept toward the bathing chamber. All the while, his attention remained focused on his meeting.
It didn’t take long to get to her destination, the door sliding open without a sound and granting her entrance. She padded into the space. The walls gleamed in the soft glow of the lights, and the brightness grew when the ship recognized her entrance.
As she eased deeper into the room, she tugged at her clothes, easing the thin top over her head and letting it float to the ground before bringing her hands to the waist of her pants. She padded past the mirrored wall, not looking at her reflection. Well, it wasn’t really a mirror, but it was the best Terran descriptor she could come up with. It was some sort of projection technology that she hadn’t been able to wrap her mind around when it’d been explained.
Now, she didn’t care to understand. She didn’t want to see it. No matter how curious she was about the changes in her body due to the addition of Kede’s genetic material, she didn’t want to see evidence of her injuries.
Joyce tucked a few stray strands of her hair behind her ear, the skin tingling with the gentle brush.
She tried not to look, tried not to glance at herself in the mirror using her peripheral vision and… failed. The lure was too much for her to resist. How else had she changed? What else had changed? Could she look at herself and dismiss the scars?
She knew her skin was darker and no longer blemished. Other than the evidence of her injuries, every other mole, freckle and small scar disappeared. She wondered if those twisted ridges of skin would smooth out as well. Would the bumps marring her flatten and smooth? She prayed they would. She’d never considered herself vain, but now… she totally was.
Her hair was softer, silky as it slid through her fingers in soft waves. The color seemed brighter, fuller, but mostly unchanged.
Slowly, fearing what she’d find, Joyce turned toward the reflective surface and hoped the rest of her hadn’t altered too drastically. She wasn’t sure what Doshan females looked like beneath their clothes, so there was no telling what she’d find. She really hoped she hadn’t suddenly grown another nipple or something equally bizarre.
The moment she faced the mirror completely, she gasped. Not because of the small, obviously raised spots on her neck and the few on her face. Nor because of the larger swaths of skin on her chest that appeared twisted and turned from the cilotha.
No, she gasped because her sky blue eyes, ones that darkened to stormy gray when she was pissed and lightened when she was happy, were no longer blue.
“Kede?” She called for the stupid male, never taking her gaze from her reflection.
She was not seeing what she thought she was seeing. Because if she was…
“Kede?” She raised her voice a little more.
Skin color was one thing. It was pigment. How many Terrans in history darkened their skin with products? It was not a great feat for Terran geneticists. The procedure was no more difficult than receiving a shot at a doctor’s office. Skin transitioning was like Botox in the 2000s. Nothing. Simple. Quick and easy.
This…
“Kede!” She didn’t bother keeping her voice down any longer. The asshole alien could get off his fucking phone-comm-thing and tell her why—
“Joyce? Where are you?” The rapid, heavy thump of his race through the room signaled his approach.
When he appeared beside her, she slowly turned her head toward him and raised her finger, pointing at her face. “What is this?”
His gaze met hers for a moment and then it wandered, sliding over her in a touchless caress. He focused on her nose, her lips, her neck, and then he ceased his travels when he got to her breasts. Her bare breasts. Dammit. It seemed that a male was a male. Once they were flashed a set of tits, they stopped in their tracks.
Joyce wrapped an arm across her chest, covering her large breasts as much as she could, while snapping the fingers on her other hand. “Hey, up here. Let’s focus on something other than my boobs.”
His attention slowly skated over her in reverse, stroking her as he finally looked at her eyes once again. Instead of a sheepish expression, she got an all-too-sexy, totally unashamed grin. It was a look filled with sex and sensual promise and she frowned at him in hopes he’d wipe it from his face. He didn’t. Nope, the grin blossomed into a heated smile.
Sexy as hell, asshole alien.
Joyce pointed at her face once again. “What is this?”
Kede tilted his head to the side. “I do not understand.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Oh, you so understand.”
“The transition does make physiological changes which include alterations to appearance.”
“Yeah, but no one said anything about this.” She pointed at her eyes. “No one mentioned eye color. When I saw my skin, I asked you and Resane if there was anything that changed that I hadn’t seen yet. Like some weird crap that wasn’t visible while I was stuck in bed.”
“Well…”
“When I said ‘hey, what else is there?’ you should have said ‘yes, Joyce, your eyes don’t match anymore.’”
“We thought you’d be ups—”
“Upset? Why would I? I mean, I know I’m no longer human but… I don’t…” she turned her attention to the mirror.
Before now, her change from Terran to Doshan was conceptual. They said the words, but she didn’t truly grasp the whole conversion concept. Really, other than getting a great tan, nothing else had changed. Now she was presented with undeniable proof of her shift.
Two eyes. One teal iris, one coral.
Like sand, she watched her Terran heritage drift through her fingers and float away on an unseen breeze. Gone. She was no longer Joyce Enner, Executive Assistant to Director Wardsen of the Norbeach Planetary Collective Training and Transfer Base. God, that was a mouthful when she answered the phone.
She was no longer Terran. She no longer had her small Terran apartment with all of her Terran belongings.
No, she’d become Joyce Enner—Tria-se or whatever—Doshan female. Owner of nothing.
It finally hit home. This was real. Real.
The pain speared her heart, stealing her breath with its unexpected attack. She hadn’t loved her life, but suddenly she mourned its loss, mourned what she had been just as she was unable to accept what she’d become.
Joyce traced her image on the reflective surface, sliding her finger over the two colors, tracing the new hues. Not sky blue. Teal and coral.
The same, but different.
The image of herself blurred, her shape warping and twisting as she stared at the mirror. She wondered if she’d somehow broken it by touching it. Then she noticed the cool moisture on her cheek and she realized she was crying. Apparently she’d retained that human trait. Tears escaped, sliding over her cheeks, and she distantly recognized Kede’s low curse.
She didn’t care. He could say what he liked.
The whites of her eyes reddened as moisture gathered, highlighting the change of her irises even more.
Low murmurs reached her, the deep tone of Kede’s voice answered by someone else. She hadn’t even realized he’d left.
Moments passed and then someone else stepped into the bathing chamber, his massive bulk seeming to decrease the space by half.
“Joyce?” His arms twitched and she let her gaze travel over his form and down to the hand hidden beneath his back.
“Resane.” She returned her attention to her reflection. He was probably there to sedate her. At least that’s what Terrans did when faced with an uncontrollable person. They’d done that a time or two at the base when a prospective ambassador cracked during training. She didn’t imagine Doshans would be much different in this situation.
He eased closer, closing the distance between them. “Joyce…”
She shook her head and closed her eyes, turning away from the mirror. “I know what you want to do with that. Just… let me get clean. Let me wash and then I promise you can sedate me. Will that work?”
She wanted the drugs, wanted to forget the last few minutes and pretend she was still a Terran on a Doshan ship. She glanced at her reflection once more. God, how different things had become in one look.
“You should—”
“Just a shower. I want to be clean.” She focused on him, on his matching green eyes.
They matched when the eyes of so many other Doshans did not. Something to talk about with Kede. She’d allowed him to push off different discussions over and over, but that was not going to happen any longer.
“Very well. You should be,” his cheeks flushed a deeper shade of bronze. A Doshan blush. “You should have an attendant to ensure your safety. You are still very weak.”
Attendant. Watcher. Guard.
“I won’t hurt myself, Resane.”
He tilted his head in acknowledgement. “And still you need an attendant, Joyce Tria-se.”
She tore her gaze from his, refusing to retain his gaze. “Who?”
She knew the answer, but still, she asked.
“Myself or Kede.”
Another tear escaped. She didn’t want to be exposed to either male. Uneasiness, self-loathing attacked her. She’d been an overweight Terran and now she was an overweight Doshan.
You are mine.
Since Kede was so sure he wanted her, let him be the one to be disappointed by her appearance. The bathing unit door was masked, but there was no doubt he’d see parts of her previously covered. He’d see what he desired and then they’d discover if he was entranced by the idea of her or of herself.
“Kede,” she choked out his name. “I want Kede.”