Kede paced his quarters, his glare transferring from the medico, Resane’s assistant, lingering near the suite’s portal to the bathing chamber and back again. He didn’t trust the young male within his space. He was unfamiliar, young, and appeared eager.
The male could remain by the doorway. He wanted no other males near his harae. He already ached with the need to shove Resane out of the nearest airlock for being so close to his half-naked female.
He took a deep, calming breath. He could not kill his chief medico. He could not kill his chief medico.
The rustle of cloth and low clink of instruments pulled him from his thoughts and he snarled at the young medico. He could kill that male. Kede didn’t believe he’d be missed. Besides, he was entirely too close to his barely-clothed harae. Yes, he would be justified if he ended—
“Kede.” Resane’s low murmur tore him from his homicidal thoughts.
“Is she well?”
Resane’s expression was grim, his eyes focused on Kede. “She is having difficulty accepting her altered species.”
A gasp brought his focus back to the young medico lingering near the door. Dammit. “Out!” The male did not move and his worry over Joyce transformed into anger. Anger he directed at the medico. “Get. Out!”
The male tripped backward, scrambling for the portal, dropping his equipment as he fought to leave Kede’s quarters and he couldn’t suppress his sneer.
“Frightening off young warriors accomplishes little.” Resane chided him.
“Your medicos should be trained to handle furious males.”
Resane sighed. “We reassigned all the experienced officers while Hassee conducts his investigation. He’s a fill-in from engineering and is one of the few that could be trusted to hold a scanner right side up. He’s—”
Kede shoved his next words past gritted teeth, his patience at an end. “I don’t care about the damned medico. I only care about my harae.”
“And I told you. She’s having difficulty accepting the changes within her.” Resane paused. “Withholding the list of alterations was a mistake. I only thought to ease her into her new species, but…”
But his harae stood crying in their bathing unit, fingers tracing her eyes in the holoflect.
“What can I do for her now?” How could he make her better?
“She wishes to get clean. I told her she would have to be monitored to ensure her safety and it would be either you or me within the chamber.”
The words burst to Kede’s lips before the thought completed. “I will kill you if she chose you.”
“Praise the bright light.” Resane rolled his eyes. “She chose you.”
“What do I need to do?”
The medico shrugged. “Be there to support her should she need assistance. She will tire easily and will likely not last more than a few minutes beneath the spray.” Resane moved past him, gripping Kede’s shoulder and squeezing as he strode by. “Thank the light holder she did not choose me. I hope you have more strength than I because the sight of her plump—”
Kede spun, whirling around and forcing Resane to face him. In the single, fluid move, he had his friend in the position he desired. From there, he swung his arm in a great arch and finally punched the male in the face.
Resane staggered beneath the blow, stumbling a few steps before catching himself against the wall. He rubbed his jaw as he stared at Kede.
“You will not speak of my harae in such a manner.”
Resane pressed his lips together and looked away, focusing on the wall. “As you say, Commander Tria-se.”
Kede gritted his teeth as anger over Resane’s words joined his worry for Joyce. “Dammit, Resane.”
His friend shook his head. “No, you were right. I forgot for a moment that she is Doshan. We don’t speak of our females in that way.”
Resane pushed away from the wall and strode toward the pile of equipment near the doorway.
As he crouched beside the stack, the words gathering in Kede’s chest burst free. “Any female, Resane.” The medico paused, a questioning gaze on him. “The males on the Vehly will not speak that way about any female, be they Terran or Doshan.”
Resane raised his eyebrows. “As you say, Kede.”
He jerked his head in a tight nod and then looked toward the bathing chamber, at the portal still open and waiting for his entrance. “You will see yourself out?”
“Of course.”
Accepting his friend’s answer, he moved toward the small room, intent on assisting his harae in any way possible.
As he reached the doorway, Resane’s worry tinged voice stopped him. “Kede? You need to see this.”
Resane bent and retrieved something from the pile of scattered equipment near the portal to the hallway. The clumsy male he’d banished never returned for the items.
His friend raced to him, holding out a small device. As soon as Kede gripped the item, his heartbeat stuttered. “Why did that young medico have a flare? Only high-ranking officers and ambassadors should have access to this device. What division did you say he came from?”
“Engineering and he’s only been in service for two years. He should not…” Resane growled and Kede felt the urge to do the same. “I do not know.”
Kede handed the device back to his friend. “Take it to Hassee and have the young male brought to him for questioning.”
“You do not want to speak with him directly?” The shock was evident in his tone.
It chafed him to hand this responsibility to another, but he had more important things to handle. “I trust you and Hassee to secure the male and discover the truth.” He stared at the still open door, strained to hear the sniffles and coughs of his female. “I need to care for Joyce.”
He left Resane near the suite entry, knowing his friends would handle the situation while he tended his harae.
When he strode into the bathing chamber, she was as he’d left her—leaning against the low counter as she gazed at her reflection in on the holoflect. Tears still coated her cheeks, but at least new moisture hadn’t trailed down her face. Her arm covered her breasts and he bit back the growl that jumped to his lips. Resane had seen his female unclothed. Everything in him demanded he battle the male and make him forget his own name as well as the sight of Joyce’s bare skin.
“Joyce?” He kept his voice low, unwilling to frighten her.
She slowly turned her gaze from the holoflect and onto him. “I’m not me anymore.”
Kede nearly fell to his knees beneath the weight of her heartache. He felt her fear, her anger, and her agony. “My harae…” he reached for her and she didn’t protest when he tugged her close and enveloped her in his gentle embrace. She turned her head to the side and rested her cheek over his heart. Her lush curves pressed against him, but he didn’t feel even a hint of arousal at her closeness. He could only focus on healing her hurt. “You have not changed. Are you most upset about your eyes?”
She nodded. “It didn’t seem real and now it is and I’m not… me.”
“You are. Terrans say the eyes are the window to the soul.” She nodded again, giving him more of her weight and he took it, gladly. “But Terrans can hide so much. Your eyes now tell others, without subterfuge, the type of Doshan you are on the inside.”
“What do you mean?” She lifted her head, focusing her gorgeous teal and coral eyes on him.
Serenity. Dedication. Strength. Balance. Empathy. They were all facets to his female and each was reflected in the color of her irises. As much as she protested becoming an ambassador, she truly was meant for the position.
“Come and cleanse yourself. I will explain.” He stepped back and urged her to turn toward the small cubicle meant for cleansing. It originally only provided sonic bathing, but he’d had his modified to enable liquid washing as well. Terrans liked to take showers and he’d wanted his Terran to have all that she desired.
She wrapped her other arm around herself, the move no longer meant to conceal her plush body but to comfort. His people had done this to her. He had done this to her. With his animalistic desire to have her on his ship, he’d brought her nothing but pain. The exact thing Doshan males were taught not to do.
At the small cubicle, he waved his hand before the panel and the barrier slid into hiding, granting her entrance.
Joyce shuffled forward a step, and then another, before pausing. She looked at him over her shoulder, those eyes now rimmed in redness. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He waited for her to say something else, anything else, but she simply stood still as a statue before him. He let his gaze wander over her scantily clad body, taking in her posture, the tenseness of her muscles and the slight tremors that racked her. The knuckles on her hand were stark white against the new bronze hue of her skin. “Joyce?”
She swayed gently and he fisted his hands, fighting the urge to reach for her. “I…” She shook her head as if to clear it. “I don’t think I can do this. I don’t…”
“It is easy my harae, simply touch the panel and it will spray the water at whatever temperature you desire. You should remove the rest of your clothing for washing, but I was told the operation of the shower is much like the one you used on Terra.”
She blinked at him, glimmering eyes widening ever so slightly. “It’s a liquid shower? Real water?”
“I want you to be happy, Joyce. Giving you pieces of home is no hardship and is a blessing from the bright light if it brings a smile to your face.” Kede was thankful Resane had already departed. He did not want to have to beat the medico if he made fun of his heartfelt words.
A small grin, one tinged with a pained grimace, teased her lips. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He tilted his head. “Let’s get you cleansed. I can see you swaying on your feet and I will not have Resane hounding me if you weaken and require his care.”
The grin held a hint more happiness this time and she gave him a slow nod. “Okay.”
“Do you need anything of me? I’ll get clean clothing for you, but can I help you before I go?”
Joyce furrowed her brow, mouth turning down as she looked toward her feet and then finally back to him. A bright blush tainted her cheeks and her gaze quickly skittered away once again. “I… Can you help me with my pants? I don’t think I can get them off without stumbling and falling. I’m so tired.”
Kede took a deep, calming breath and willed his body not to respond to her question. Remove her pants? Leave her bare before him? She would tempt the oldest male to hardness with her softly worded request.
“Perhaps it is not the time for bathing if you are exhausted. You need more sleep. Resane can come and—”
“Please, Kede. I’m tired and I just want to be clean.”
Light bless him, she’d kill him. “Anything you need.”
Even if it meant his balls would turn bluer than the Terran oceans.
He reached for her, gently hooking his thumbs beneath the waist of her soft pants and easing them down. Closing his eyes, he urged them to fall free of her body. If he looked at her, he’d want her and he’d try very, very hard to take her. He would gain her permission, but it would be through seduction and he had no doubt she’d hate him for it later.
So, he kept his lids lowered as he helped strip her. The moment the soft rustle of cloth ended, the pants dropping to the floor, he pushed to his feet. It wasn’t until he stood tall that he allowed his eyes to open. He was aware that she was bare before him, aware nothing stood between him and heaven, but he wouldn’t push himself on his injured harae.
“Thank you.” Her voice was soft and thin, the color slowly easing from her face.
“Joyce, you’re too tired for this. You’re still healing.”
“I…” She swayed yet again. “I can’t stay in that bed dirty any longer. I sweat and… I just feel gross, Kede.”
The female would tempt the most devout male.
“Do you trust me, Joyce?”
“What?” She blinked, the movement slow and drawn out, telling him the level of her exhaustion.
“Do you trust me to care for you and go no further?” When she remained silent, he continued. “I will help you with your shower. Only touch you when asked or when needed.”
“In my…” Her attention drifted over him, stroking his neck, chest and further until it remained on his groin. Damn his body and the way it reacted to her presence.
Kede reached out, slowly stroking her cheek with a single finger and he was pleased to see that no fear lingered in her expression. “I will remain clothed. I will simply ensure that you are bathed and that no harm comes to you. Can you trust me this much?”
The war raged within her, each thought was quickly revealed in her expression. He sensed she wanted to trust him and yet she also feared him. Or did she fear the way she reacted to him?
It didn’t matter. Fear was fear.
“I…” She looked away from him, her focus centering on the wall across from her for a moment before finally looking to him once again. “Yes, I trust you.”
At least it was a step in the right direction.
With her quiet agreement, he urged her into the cubicle and eased her toward the far corner. The enclosed space was large, big even for him, so it was simple to nudge her out of the way of the impending waterfall. “I do not know how this will feel. It is best if you stay in place while I test it.”
A few presses on the panel and water burst from the wall, a random rapid flow of water sprinkling down on him. Kede hissed with the heat and then recalled the engineer’s instructions. Liquid bathing involved fluids at varying temperatures whereas sonic cleansing did not. He prodded the panel a little more until the heat eased to a gentle warmth.
“Your clothes,” Joyce’s voice rose above the pattering droplets and he glanced at her, smiling ruefully.
“I am overjoyed that you trust me, but I do not trust myself. You are beautiful, my harae and very, very tempting.” He didn’t withhold the desire in his voice, didn’t try to suppress his need for her. He wanted her to know how much he wanted her and no other.
Her cheeks pinked once again and he smiled a little wider. Holding out his hand, he beckoned her forward. “Come, I believe this will be comfortable for you now.”
As she approached, he eased back, allowing her to gently shuffle into place. The moment the fluid touched her skin, she moaned.
Kede tensed, ready to yank her away from the painful sensations. “Joyce? Are you in pain?”
“No,” she closed her eyes and tilted her head back, allowing the water to cascade over her body.
Bless the bright light, she was beautiful. Her skin glowed with a Doshan’s natural warmth in the bathing room’s light with an underlying pinkness that was her pre-transition hue. The liquid slid over her, teasing him with where he desired most to touch. She released her breasts, allowing them to swing free as she ran her fingers through her long, thick hair.
She would kill him if he touched her, but what a wondrous death it would be.
“It feels good. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a water shower.”
Kede remained in place, ready to catch her and support her if she needed, while he pondered her statement. “Reports show that liquid cleansing is the preferred method on Terra.”
She hummed and tilted her head back even farther and he fought to keep his gaze above her shoulders. She was a temptation he could not yet have and he needed to remember his promise to her.
“Everyone would love it, but not all can afford it. Water is a precious commodity and,” she raised her head and focused on him. Water clung to her lashes, making them sparkle and shine. “I wanted to eat more than I wanted to waste credits on a shower when sonic cleansing would do.”
He fought the urge to yank her into his arms and promise her the galaxy. Instead, he remained ready to assist her, clasping her hand as she turned her back to him and faced the spray. She didn’t release him, shifting her grip to his arm as she allowed the water to sluice over her.
“You may have as many showers you desire, my harae.”
You may have anything you desire.
Joyce didn’t respond to his statement and remained quiet as she bathed several days of recovery from her body. He kept his attention fixed on her face, on the small spots marring her smooth skin. He cursed the darkness for her pain and then blessed the bright light for sparing her life. So many things could have gone wrong, could still go wrong, but at least he had her at his side.
Her small nails—sturdier after her transition, but still short—dug into his arm and she pulled on his hold. “Joyce?”
She leaned toward him, her body slowly collapsing. “Kede?”
Water still rained on them, but he couldn’t care less about the warm liquid that, moments ago, soothed his harae. He caught her easily, holding her firmly against his body as he entered orders into the panel. Immediately the water ceased and the panel securing the cubicle slid aside. With great care, Kede swung Joyce into his arms, cringing at the harsh gasp that escaped her.
“I’m sorry, my harae,” he murmured as he strode through the bathing chamber. As soon as he entered his bedroom, he raised his voice and began issuing his orders. “Vehly, locate Medico Resane.”
Was she paler than before? She seemed lighter. Had the shower drained her of her health? That had to be the true reason behind the lack of excessive use of the liquid cleansing on Terra. They were dangerous to Terrans. He would have engineering remove it immediately.
“Kede.” Joyce’s voice was soft, wavering, and she placed her damp palm on his soaked chest. “I’m fine.”
“You’re not.”
“I’m just tired.” She sighed and rested her head against him. “And you’re dripping all over the floor.”
“Curse the floor to darkness. You need Resane.” He strode to the bed and carefully eased her onto the soft surface, careful to keep his eyes averted. No matter how much he wanted to trace every curve of her body with his eyes, he wouldn’t. Not until she gave him permission to look his fill. “Vehly!”
“Locating, Commander.” The computerized voice responded and he swore the digital tone held a hint of annoyance.
“I’m wet. Let me up.” She struggled and he ignored her.
“The bed can dry. Stay there until Resane arrives.”
“Kede…”
Joyce reached for him and he cradled her hand, pressing a kiss to the back before urging her to place it on the mattress. “Rest. Resane will be here momentarily.”
“I’m fine. He doesn’t need—”
“He does, it is his job to—”
“—come over here—”
“—to ensure your health.”
“Commander?” Resane’s harried voice cut through the argument, silencing them both.
“Finally.” Kede whirled to face his friend. “She became weak. Repair her.” His friend merely raised his eyebrows in question, gaze traveling the length of Kede’s body and back again. “Do not ask. Simply repair her.”
“Kede, Resane, I’m fine. I got tired, that’s all.” Joyce’s voice was soft, her exhaustion obvious in every syllable.
“No, that is not all,” Kede snapped. “Resane, fix—”
“Her. I heard you. I thought you brought me here for yourself.” Resane withdrew a portable comm pad and made several gestures. “Joyce is fine. A little warm and her heart rate is slightly elevated.” The medico quirked his lips in a half grin. “And I’m sure I can attribute both of those symptoms to you.”
Kede narrowed his eyes. “How do you know this?”
“A small implant—”
He saw red, fury and rage unlike he’d ever known rising to the surface. “You put something in my harae? Without gaining permission!”
He tensed, ready to launch himself across the space and tackle his longtime friend to the ground. No one, not even their ruler dared do anything to a harae without her harau’s permission.
He stepped forward, imagining all of the ways he could pummel Resane, when a slim, cool hand grasped his.
“I asked him, Kede.” She squeezed his fingers. “Stop.”
He didn’t want to stop, he wanted to rip the quaking medico to shreds. Instead, he looked to Joyce. “You asked him to give you an implant? You already have one we are concerned with. I would not want any other technology within you before the Terran device is removed.”
“I…” she paled slightly. “I didn’t think of that. I was tired of him coming here every day. I was tired of the prodding and poking. He said the Doshans used them with bearing women. To monitor their health.”
“I would never have inserted the device if I thought for a moment that it would interfere with the Terran chip or harm her in any way.” Resane’s words tripped over Joyce’s. “Trust me that much, Kede.”
He did trust in his chief medico. Even more, he trusted in is friend. “Apologies, Resane.” He ran a hand over his face while taking a deep breath. “But Joyce is my harae.”
“And I should remember that she has a harau who can rip me to shreds.” Resane grinned. “Even if he doesn’t have the sense to disrobe before enjoying a liquid cleanse.”
Kede narrowed his eyes. “Out.”
The medico eased backward to the still open portal. “Are you sure? I could—”
“Out.”
“Perhaps…”
“Out,” Kede snarled.
Finally the portal slid closed and he was quick to code the door, making it impossible for anyone to enter the suite for any reason. That done, he turned to face Joyce. She seemed so small and pale amongst his sheets. One leg escaped the blanket, giving him glimpses of the path to the bright light. So sleek and beautiful.
His cawk twitched in appreciation and he swallowed his groan. The once warm water soaking his clothing was cool and dampened his desire for her, but it could never put out the fire.
“You are truly well?” He padded across the floor. “You nearly fainted, Joyce.”
She slowly shook her head. “I was hot and weak. I feel clean and fine now.”
He stopped beside the bed and ignored the small puddle that formed beneath him. The biopad would absorb and recycle whatever flowed from his clothing. “You are sure?”
She nodded. “Yes.” She reached out and tugged on a bit of his pants. “You should change. You’re dripping on everything.”
“In a moment.”
“I want to hear about my eyes. Change and then you can hold me.” Kede’s cawk tried to come to life again and again it was defeated by wet cloth. Then it was defeated by the glistening in her eyes, the new moisture that slid down her cheeks. “Tell me what it means to be Doshan.”
“My harae…” He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Lay back and give me a moment.”
Before she could say a word, he rushed away, snaring clothing and then striding into the bathing chamber. He normally wouldn’t be so modest, but he was worried about Joyce’s reaction. He did not believe she would act favorably if he stripped in the middle of the bedroom. Less than a minute later, he tossed his soaked clothing aside as he strode toward his reclining female.
She eased to her side and patted the bed, answering his unasked question. As he had night after night, he slid in beside her and welcomed her soft weight. Despite their wariness during waking hours, she was always quick to cuddle close and he relished her touch.
She nuzzled him and then sighed, slumping against his body. “Tell me, Kede.”
Kede pressed his lips to her hair and breathed deeply, enjoying the fragrance of her soap as well as her natural scent that lingered beneath the flowers. “Every child of Dosha is born with eyes whiter than the brightest light. They are completely pure of hate or love.” He couldn’t wait to hold their child in his arms and stare into the pale orbs. “As they grow and experience life, as their soul grows to encompass and welcome them, their eyes…”