Eddie woke around six o’clock on Christmas morning feeling hot and clammy. Pale sunlight bathed her bedroom in a golden honey glow. She tried to recall the dream she’d been having but it was out of reach.
‘Give me some room, Jarrod,’ she grumbled.
His arm was heavy and trapping her tight. She tried to ease away, but she was already at the edge of the bed. He inched closer, his breath hot against her face. She heard a snuffling sound and felt something wet on her cheek.
She jerked awake and realised it wasn’t Jarrod, it was Titus. She groaned. The flyscreen door was broken in one corner and the naughty dog must have worked out how to sneak his fat body through the gap. Now he had taken over half her bed. She shoved Titus onto the floor, swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat on the edge, wiping sleep from her eyes.
It was Christmas Day, usually her favourite day of the whole year, but her enthusiasm quickly plummeted when she remembered she was alone. She closed her eyes as unwelcome thoughts crowded in. Forty-eight hours had softened the initial impact of her break-up with Jarrod, but now the reality of it flooded back in vivid technicolour and Eddie felt freshly adrift. She’d planned her entire future with him – engagement, marriage, kids, the whole deal. So where did that leave her now, other than depressingly single and one step further away from her dreams of motherhood? Staying with someone as selfish as Jarrod wasn’t the answer, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
She checked her phone, surprised to see two text messages, both from Harry. She smiled. He was an early riser too. She sent back a reply, thinking how nice it felt to know he was on the other end of the phone should she ever need him.
After she left the hall the day before, she’d started to feel a little bit foolish. Despite some serious flirtation between them, she decided she’d read too much into it. He’d probably only offered to go out for a drink to be friendly. And besides, she was still too fragile to be considering another relationship.
Deciding not to waste any more emotional energy thinking about something that might not happen, she sprang out of bed humming a carol, and bounced down the hallway to open the back door. Solomon bolted inside, tail twisting with joy to see her. Titus remained unrepentant about ripping a larger hole in the flywire but, because he was so cute, Eddie forgave him for it anyway. After all, it was Christmas.
After showering, she rifled through her wardrobe and found a pair of never-worn white pants that still had their price tag attached, and a flowy turquoise shirt she’d forgotten she owned. It looked Christmassy and was the perfect colour to complement her eyes. She slipped her feet into a pair of wedges – the only heels she owned – scoffed her breakfast and ensured the dogs were enjoying their Christmas bones. Grabbing her phone and bag, she left the house and drove to church for the Christmas service.
Holy Trinity Anglican Church sat proud and tall at the highest point in town. It was a small stone church set amidst a large garden surrounded by towering pine trees. The road leading up the church was full of parked cars and Eddie ended up having to park almost half a kilometre away and walk. As she strode up the dirt hill she congratulated herself on her choice of pants but wished she’d considered flat shoes instead of the wedges.
History between the Campbell family and the church was long. Although she was only an occasional church attendee, she was on a first-name basis with everyone in the congregation and, as Frank and Daisy Campbell’s only granddaughter, they always made her feel welcome. Eddie’s own mother had been baptised in the church, as had Eddie, when she was too small to remember. According to Nan, the congregation was very supportive when Eddie’s mum fell pregnant. The women rallied around Daisy and Frank, promising to support their teenage daughter instead of encouraging her to give up the child for adoption, or going to Melbourne for a secret abortion.
By the time Eddie turned in through the stone gates and crossed the grass to the main doors, she heard the first carol coming from the old organ. She accepted a printed order of service from Barry Johnson, one of the ushers, and greeted his smiling sidekick, Helen Moore, before taking her usual seat in the timber pews towards the back. She scanned the crowd for Harry, but couldn’t see him. Not that she really expected him to be there – she’d never seen him in church before.
After the first carol finished, the minister, Libby Gilchrist, stood to pray. She was young – as far as ministers went – and avoided the whole collar and robe thing, which Eddie thought was a good idea. It made her more approachable. The music started again and Eddie smiled as she glanced over at the organist, old Charles Cambridge. She always got a kick out of watching him play triumphantly, hands and feet constantly moving as he coaxed music out of the large pipes at the front of the church. Nan said he’d once played in a packed English cathedral in front of royalty and Eddie wasn’t surprised.
The service was filled with joyful music and plenty of Christmas cheer – precisely what Eddie needed. As soon as it was over, wellwishers surrounded her.
‘Everything ready for tonight?’ Christine asked.
‘I hope so,’ Eddie said. ‘As you know, I had a few issues but I think things are sorted now.’
‘How’re Frank and Daisy doing?’ Helen asked.
‘Very well. Nan’s hoping she’ll be home next week. I’m heading to the respite place now to have lunch with them.’
‘She’ll be itching to get back in time for the concert,’ Christine said.
‘Tell me about it. That’s all she’s been talking about for the past six months.’
‘I hear Frank’s loving his little holiday,’ Pam said, joining the group.
Eddie frowned. ‘What do you mean, holiday?’
‘Holiday. Respite. Barry went to visit him and Daisy last week and he said Frank loves it.’
Barry nodded in agreement. ‘Frank reckons he wouldn’t mind living there permanently. Said the grub’s good and they have some lovely nurses.’
As Barry wandered off to chat to someone else, something snagged in Eddie’s heart. ‘I’m sure he was just saying that. You know how much he and Nan have always said they want to stay at home as long as they can.’
‘We old folk are allowed to change our minds, Eddie,’ Christine said with a twinkle in her eye.
‘True. But I know Nan and Grandad and there’s no way they’d ever want to move into a nursing home. Frank would say he’d feel one step closer to the grave.’
‘Maybe not a nursing home, but have you considered the retirement village next door to the church?’ Helen asked.
Eddie hadn’t considered any such thing.
‘It’s very good,’ Helen continued. ‘That’s where Dennis and I are now. We have our own little place and it’s perfect. If Frank and Daisy sold Glenview, they could move in there and you could get on with your life,’ she said.
Eddie’s frown deepened. What was that supposed to mean? ‘I do have my own life,’ she replied. Yet why did her chest feel so tight?
‘Yes, I know you do, dear, but it’s not the same as living on your own. At your age you should be thinking about getting married and starting a family. Bit hard to do that if you’re still basically living under the same roof as your grandparents,’ Helen said.
Eddie bit back a retort. ‘I’m not going anywhere. After all they’ve done for me, I need to be here for them.’
‘Eddie, dear, you have such an overdeveloped sense of responsibility,’ Christine said.
‘And why shouldn’t I? They put everything on hold to raise me. I owe it to them.’
Christine, Helen and Pam looked as if they were about to launch into another opinion piece, but they were interrupted by Kathy Peters, a girl Eddie had gone to school with. Twice married with six, or seven kids – Eddie had lost count – Kathy and Eddie weren’t friends.
‘How are you going, Edwina? I heard about your boyfriend. You must be devastated. There go those wedding plans, eh?’
Eddie clenched and unclenched her jaw before replying. ‘News travels fast.’
Because Kathy usually spread it.
‘In a town this size it does, that’s for sure.’ Kathy laughed. ‘You should know that.’ She’d probably already posted something on the town’s Facebook page. She placed a pudgy finger on Eddie’s arm. ‘Such a shame. Did he meet someone else?’
‘No.’
‘Won’t be easy finding another man in these parts. All the good ones are gone – married or moved away.’
‘Who said I’ll be looking for another man?’
Kathy sniggered. ‘I was over at the hall briefly yesterday. The look of longing on your face when Harrison Baxter walked through the doors said enough. Bit young for you, isn’t he? He’s not even thirty.’
Eddie resisted the urge to turn and walk away. Or hit Kathy. ‘I don’t need a man.’
‘If you want babies, you do.’ Kathy rubbed her belly with a lack of subtlety and Eddie glanced down, stunned to see she was pregnant – again.
‘My nephew is coming to visit over the holidays. Perhaps I can introduce you to him,’ Helen said, breaking the tension between the two women. She smiled at Eddie. ‘He’s recently divorced and has two children. You could have a ready-made family.’
Eddie grimaced. She didn’t want a ready-made family. She needed to escape. Fast.
As she was about to pray for divine intervention, her phone rang. She snatched it from her handbag and stared at the screen. For some bizarre reason she hoped it was Harry rescuing her again. ‘Sorry, I need to take this.’ She turned her back on the circle of women. ‘Hello, this is Eddie.’
‘Jack Lorimer here.’
Jack was the local butcher. Eddie held her breath, hoping he wasn’t calling with more bad news.
‘I’m over at the hall now. Where do you want me to put these spits?’
Relief washed through her. ‘Give me five minutes and I’ll be there. I’m just leaving church now.’
When she went to say goodbye, there was no sign of the other women. Eddie breathed a prayer of thanks and darted out before she had to face anyone else.
*
After she’d ensured the butcher was organised, Eddie drove to the respite centre in Albury. When she arrived, she made her way to her grandparents’ room and dumped her handbag on their bed. There was no sign of her grandad but from the ensuite bathroom she heard the familiar sound of Nan singing. She smiled. Nan’s voice reminded Eddie of Beechworth Honey on a piece of toast. Eddie liked to think her mum sounded the same but her memories of Maggie’s voice had withered and faded over time, like the pages of an old newspaper left out in the sun too long.
‘Hey Nan, I’m here. Do you need any help?’ she called out.
‘I’ll be out in a minute,’ Daisy replied.
Eddie busied herself tidying the room and straightening the bedspread, turning when Daisy entered. Eddie pulled her into a tight hug. ‘Merry Christmas, Nan. I’ve missed you so much. It’s not the same at home without you and Grandad.’
‘Merry Christmas to you too, Eddie, dear.’
‘You’re looking good. Better than you have in weeks.’
Daisy had the face of a woman in her seventies even though she was skimming the edge of her mid-eighties. The only thing that gave away her age was the way she moved – slowly and in obvious discomfort. Apart from the recent hip replacement, Daisy suffered from post-polio syndrome. Combined with severe rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain was her constant companion. And enemy. Yet she never complained.
‘Where’s Grandad?’
‘Out chatting to the oldies in the courtyard,’ Daisy said.
Eddie hid a smile. A lot of the ‘oldies’ were younger than her grandparents.
‘We had a lovely church service here this morning,’ Daisy said. ‘The little chapel is so pretty.’
‘That’s nice.’
The wrinkles around Nan’s eyes deepened. ‘Something wrong?’
Eddie gave her most reassuring smile. ‘Nothing. I’m okay. Just concerned about you.’
‘Darling, there’s no need to worry about me. I’m fit as a fiddle now. The nurses are taking great care of me, and your grandad loves it here.’
‘What do I love?’ Frank asked as he entered the room. ‘Other than my wife and my favourite granddaughter?’
Eddie beamed. ‘I’m your only granddaughter.’
‘All the more reason for you to be my favourite.’ He winked at her before kissing her on the top of her head. ‘Hello, possum. Merry Christmas.’
He was as sprightly and energetic as always and his tanned, weather-beaten face bore his usual broad smile, but Eddie was suddenly struck by how much he’d aged over the years. Why hadn’t she noticed it before? His grey hair was thinning and stuck out in all directions, in desperate need of a haircut. She smiled. She knew her grandad well enough to know it would be low on his list of priorities. The black-rimmed frames of his glasses magnified his brown eyes, but today they looked slightly glassy. Probably just tired. She hoped he wasn’t burning himself out looking after Nan and once again wished she’d been able to convince him to stay at home with her. She looked at him again and realised that despite looking old he appeared very happy.
‘How’s Jarrod?’ he asked.
Eddie felt the blood rush from her face. She had hoped to avoid this conversation a bit longer.
She swallowed. ‘We broke up.’
Nan’s gasp briefly sucked the air from the small room. Frank’s head snapped up to look at her, his eyes wide like dinner plates. He muttered something that rhymed with ‘custard’ and plonked into the recliner. ‘Can’t say I’m surprised,’ he said with a grunt.
‘Frank!’ Daisy admonished. She turned to Eddie and touched her on the arm. ‘When did this happen?’
‘Monday.’
‘Why didn’t you tell us sooner?’
‘I didn’t want to tell you over the phone.’
‘Oh, sweetheart. Are you okay?’ Daisy asked, her voice oozing with sympathy and compassion.
Sudden tears sprang to Eddie’s eyes. ‘I’m okay.’
‘Why did you break up?’ Daisy asked.
‘Reckon it’s hard to have a relationship with someone when you hardly ever see ’em,’ Frank said.
‘It wasn’t that,’ Eddie said.
‘Did he have an affair? Because I tell you what, if he did and I ever see him again, I’ll rip off his bloody –’
‘No you won’t, Grandad,’ Eddie interrupted. ‘Forget it. He didn’t have an affair. You’ll never see him again. I promise.’
‘But I thought you were in love with him,’ Daisy said, her face creased with concern. ‘I thought you wanted to get married.’
Eddie forced a smile. Even though her grandparents weren’t huge Jarrod fans, they had supported her relationship. ‘I did.’
‘Then what happened?’ Daisy asked. ‘What went wrong?’
‘I guess you could say I fell out of love with him the moment he presumed I’d want to move to America with him.’
They listened without question while she gave them all the details.
‘Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,’ Daisy said when Eddie had finished. She leaned over and patted her hand. ‘But if it’s any consolation, there’ll be someone else.’
Eddie’s thoughts went straight to Harry. In the short time they’d spent together, sparks had undeniably flown. She shook her head. Why was she even thinking about him? Now wasn’t the time to entertain the idea of another man in her life. She needed to get over Jarrod first. Besides, if Grandad caught any inkling of what was going on inside Eddie’s head right now regarding Harry, he’d be wagging his finger with a warning. Don’t jump out of the frying pan into the fire. A warning probably worth listening to. Who was to say Harry would be any different from Jarrod? She’d only met him once, and clearly she wasn’t the greatest judge of character when it came to men.
Frank eased himself out of the recliner. ‘Time for lunch,’ he announced with a clap. ‘Enough talk about Jarrod. It’s Christmas and we need to celebrate.’
Eddie followed Frank into the main dining area, walking slowly arm in arm with Daisy. They found seats and Eddie collected their roast dinners and carried them back to the table. Once her grandad said grace, Eddie took a mouthful – it didn’t taste as bad as she’d expected. Not as good as a home-cooked meal, but it certainly wasn’t like hospital fare. No wonder her grandad was enjoying staying there. He loved his food.
‘How are the plans coming along for the concert?’ Daisy asked. ‘Have you heard how many people they’re expecting?’
Eddie frowned. ‘Sorry. What did you say? What concert?’ She’d been watching Frank chat to the bloke next to him and reflecting how much he seemed to be enjoying the company of the other residents.
‘Sweetheart, please tell me you booked tickets for Les Miserables.’ Daisy pronounced the word with a French accent, the syllables rolling easily off her tongue.
‘Oh, that concert,’ she replied. ‘That was part of my Christmas present to you guys, remember? I bought the tickets ages ago, before you had your fall. They’re pinned to the fridge at home.’
‘Did you get one for yourself?’
‘Are you kidding me? I’m not going to willingly sit through a night of opera where I can’t understand a word they’re singing.’
‘Les Miserables isn’t opera,’ Daisy said. ‘It’s an epic tale of love, power and politics, full of hope and redemption and . . .’
Eddie held up a hand. ‘And I’m not interested. Sorry, Nan. Go with Grandad and enjoy.’ She nudged Frank with her elbow.
But even as she heard herself protesting, she wondered if she should change her mind and get a ticket. It would be kind of cool to hear Harry sing.
The remainder of lunch passed uneventfully and they chatted about work and what was happening back home. When Eddie checked her watch, she was surprised to see it was nearly two o’clock. ‘I need to get going or I’m going to be late.’
‘And you’re sure everything’s ready for tonight?’ Daisy asked.
‘Absolutely sure. Everything’s ready and it’s going to be amazing,’ she replied.
Under the table, she crossed her fingers.