Chapter Eighteen

Nicole awoke again to Wil sliding down her torso and nudging apart her thighs. Nicole smiled and closed her eyes.

She tried to stop her mind from wandering, but after a couple minutes, when her thoughts drifted to what she should eat for dinner, she said, “Come up here.”

He shook his head. “I’m not done yet.”

Nicole didn’t consider herself a prude in bed, but for her, a little oral sex went a long way. She didn’t mind it as an appetizer, but it was a little too much for a main course.

She tried to persuade Wil to change his game plan. “I want you to make love to me,” she told him.

He gave a short laugh. “All in due time.”

“I mean right this minute.”

He looked up at her and tilted his head to one side. “Don’t you want me to—?”

“Not really, no.”

“But all girls like—”

“Yeah well, not me.”

Wil thought for a moment. “It’s because you’re a control freak.”

“I am not a control freak, and can you please come up here. I feel like I’m at the doctor’s.”

“You’re afraid to be vulnerable,” he said, crawling up to her.

“Thank you, Dr. Freud, but did it ever occur to you that perhaps the men I’ve been with didn’t know what the hell they were doing?”

He gave her his cocky smile. “I’m positive they didn’t know what they were doing, and I’m going to show you what you’ve been missing all these years.”

Nicole let out a high-pitched shriek as Wil threw his body down to the foot of the bed, crawled under the covers and yanked her legs apart. She giggled uncontrollably while he tickled the insides of her thighs and threatened to feast on her until both of them couldn’t see straight.

“Wait, shush for a sec,” she said, and listened for that unmistakable tune on her cell that indicated it was Josh calling. “It’s my son.” Nicole twisted away from Wil and jumped off the bed to find her purse. She caught his call on the last ring.

“Mommy?” Josh croaked.

“Josh? What’s wrong? You sound terrible,” she said, immediately going into worried-mom mode.

“I’m…I’m…sick, Mommy,” he said, bursting into tears.

“Honey, baby, tell Mommy what’s wrong. Where do you feel sick?”

“I hurt all over, and I threw up.”

Nicole felt completely helpless, knowing there wasn’t much she could do from three thousand miles away.

“Do you have fever?” she asked.

“Uh huh. It’s like 105 degrees.”

Okay. She needed to get some facts, and fast. “Sweetie, where’s your father? Does he have his cell on him?”

“I think so. He’s in the other room,” Josh said, sounding weak. “I wanna come home, Mommy.”

“I know, Joshie. Tell Daddy that I’m going to call him as soon as I get off the phone with you. Meanwhile, you stay in bed and try to sleep. You’ll feel better soon, sweetheart, I promise. I love you.”

Nicole took two deep breaths and blew them out slowly before she called her ex.

“Hello, Nicole,” Stephen answered his phone, sounding exasperated as if she had already called him a hundred times that day.

“Are you aware of how sick our son is?”

“Everything’s under control. He ate some bad Chinese food. He’ll be fine in a day.”

“Oh, is that what the doctor said?” she asked, knowing he hadn’t brought Josh near one.

“I told you I have it under control,” he said in a tense voice.

Nicole really didn’t want to fight with him, so she backed down. “Saltine crackers and ginger ale will settle Josh’s stomach. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep, put on some cartoons for him. He likes the kind we grew up on: Popeye, Underdog, Scooby Doo.”

“Okay, I’ll let Chrissy know. Listen, I gotta run.”

“Wait, hold on. You’re leaving Josh alone?”

“Chrissy will be here with him. I have an all-night shoot.”

“Does Chrissy know CPR, or will she learn it when she’s old enough to be a Girl Scout?”

Stephen sighed. “Cute, Nic.”

“How can you go to work when Josh is so sick?”

“What do you want me to do, call in sick? I’m the director, Nicole. Each day costs six figures.”

“Good to see you have your priorities straight, as usual.”

“I’m going to end this conversation now.”

“Tell Josh to call me later,” she said, but Stephen had already hung up.

Nothing like a sick son and a chat with the ex to ruin the mood.

“Is Josh okay?” Wil asked, watching her put on the Love tank and skirt from the night before.

“Probably just a simple case of food poisoning, but I’m still worried about him.”

“We can be on the next plane to see him.”

Nicole stared at him, wide-eyed. “You’d actually, I mean, we’d…?”

Wil came over to her and kissed her on the lips. “Your son comes first.”

She gave him a grateful smile. He would never understand how much that gesture meant to her, even if she didn’t take him up on it.

Nicole considered staying at Wil’s house, but she knew she wouldn’t be much fun. “I’d rather go home, if that’s okay with you.”

“You sure?”

She was sure. Her thoughts were now consumed with: a) this stranger (to her) named Chrissy who was staying with her sick son, and b) how long it was going to take to undue all the nutritional damage inflicted upon her son these past weeks.

Wil threw on shorts and a Lakers tank, and grabbed his wallet and car keys. They passed by his living room on the way out and Nicole realized she hadn’t seen any of his house yet. She took note of the black leather couches, gigantic-screen TV, and full-sized pool table.

“Nice bachelor pad,” she told him. “You’ll have to give me the grand tour later.”

“It needs a woman’s touch, I think, to soften it up a little.”

“Mmmm,” was all she said.

Wil drove her home, and then figured he’d stop by his mom’s for a free meal.

“You sure you don’t want to eat something? My mom always has something cooking on the stove.”

“I think you need to set her straight about Sonia. She’s probably wondering what’s going on between us, or do you not remember a thing from last night?”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “Right. I forgot about that. I guess I have some explaining to do.”

“Call me later with the fallout,” Nicole said.

He grunted and looked to the sky. “If I’m still alive to tell it.

****

Nicole cleaned, worried about Josh, and checked on Sammy, who was curled up like a cinnamon bun. She went to bed, tossing and turning until the morning when she was able to call Josh and see how he was feeling.

“Much better,” he said, sounding like himself again.

“How’s your stomach?”

“I haven’t hurled since yesterday.”

Music to my ears. “What have you eaten so far?”

“Chrissy made me some oatmeal with raisins and honey just how I like it.”

“O-kayyy.” Nicole tried not to inwardly cringe every time she heard the woman’s name.

“She even played cards with me all night,” Josh said.

“I’m glad she took such good care of you, sweetie,” she told him, softening a little. “Can you try to take it easy for a few more days? And lay off the Chinese food, okay?”

“Okay, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too. I can’t wait for you to come home. Sammy and I miss you.”

Josh giggled. “Me too. Maybe we can get a snake of our own. ’Bye, Mom.”

Nicole figured she’d tell him later that the only way she’d have another snake in her house was if she morphed into Medusa and had snakes growing out of her head.

The phone rang immediately after she disconnected.

“Josh?”

“It’s your mother, Nicole. I’m phoning to find out whether Josh fell off the face of the earth. He hasn’t called in quite some time, you know.”

“He’s been sick, Mom. I just spoke with him and he’s feeling better. I’m sure he’ll call you soon.”

“Who’s taking care of Josh? Is your husband taking off of work?”

“He’s the director. The show can’t go on without him.” Now she sounded just like Stephen.

“Well then, who’s with him?”

Nicole hesitated, debating the pros and the cons of telling her mother about Chrissy. Did she really want to get into this now?

“Stephen’s girlfriend is staying with Josh.”

There was a long pause. “If you don’t do something soon you’re going to lose your husband, Nicole.”

Nicole tried not to smile. “Mom, I think I already lost him.”

“Couples reconcile all the time.”

“We probably have about as much chance of getting back together as the Beatles.”

“Your father and I have been married almost forty-five years. You think I never wanted to kill him in all that time? Of course I have, but we took sacred vows, for better or for worse…”

The “better or worse” part was usually about the time Nicole tuned out and concentrated on her cuticles. She heard the distinctive click of her call-waiting.

“Mom, that’s my other line. I’ll call you later.”

Nicole clicked over, relieved to find it was Annie.

“How’s Wanda?”

“Well, according to Paulina, she’s nursing a hangover the size of the deficit.”

“I figured as much. How about you?”

“Rick and I had a great time.”

When did Ricky Z become Rick? “It sounds like you two are getting serious.”

“Well…”

Nicole expected Annie to say what she always did about every man she dated: that she didn’t hold much stock in him, because then you get disappointed when you find out they’re married, gay, unemployed, possess a third nipple, or fill in the blank.

Instead, she said, “As a matter of fact, we are. I’m crazy about him, Nic.”

Nicole was speechless.

“He’s everything I’ve always wanted,” Annie gushed. “He’s smart, successful, he treats me with respect, and…” She lowered her voice. “He can move his hips, if you know what I mean.”

“And he was right under your nose the whole time.”

Annie gasped. “God, that psychic was right on the money, wasn’t she? I have to say you and Wil looked like newlyweds when you were dancing together.”

“Tequila shots,” Nicole said, as if that would explain everything.

“But still—”

“But still, nothing. Oh, look at the time…”

“You can run, Nicole, but you can’t hide,” she laughed. “’Bye.”

Nicole was happy for Annie. She really was. If anyone deserved some good boyfriend karma it was her. But hearing how content Annie was made her miss Wil. And missing Wil meant she was becoming attached to him. Having withdrawal after less than a day was not a good thing. What was going to happen when they ended things?

Things haven’t ended yet, Nicole rationalized, so I might as well get my fill of him. That way when the relationship is over, I won’t have regrets. She knew of course, that this was a load of horse manure, but it made her feel like she had her feelings under control.

“Where are you?” she asked Wil, fully prepared to make him so hot for her over the phone he wouldn’t be able to get to her fast enough.

“San Francisco.”

“What?”

“Babe, I told you I had to fly up here for the day, didn’t I?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I could have sworn I did. Ahhh, things have been so crazy.”

She remained silent, stewing in her disappointment.

“Nic?”

“Hmmm?”

“You think I don’t remember telling my family that I was in love with you?”

She swallowed, but said nothing.

“I remember every word I said, Nic. I even told my mother again yesterday.”

“And what did she say?” Nicole asked, not sure whether she wanted to hear the answer.

“She said she wants grandchildren.”

“Wil…”

“I’m kidding. After she got over the initial shock about Sonia, she told me to do whatever makes me happy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m supposed to bring you to a barbeque on Thursday night so more of my family can meet you.”

“Please tell me you’re still kidding,” she said, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Uh no, actually I’m not.”

Nicole sat there, shaking her head. Then she started to laugh, because she knew she was in way too deep, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.

“You okay?” Wil asked.

She stopped laughing and wiped at her eyes. “I’m great, but I wish you were here with me.”

“I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“I’ll be waiting for you with bells on.”

“I meant what I said about being in love with you, Nicole.”

Her heart stopped in her chest. “Okay.”

“I wanted you to know that.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. “Oh hey, I almost forgot to tell you. Your boss has got it bad for my mom.”

****

Eric waltzed into work Monday morning whistling the theme to West Side Story. Pez skipped along beside him in a doggie T that read, If you think I’m cute, you should see my dad. He plopped himself down in a chair in Nicole’s office, stretched out his long legs in front of him and put his hands behind his head.

“Ask me how the rest of my night went on Friday,” he said.

She already knew, but asked anyway.

“This woman has swept me off my feet. I don’t think I’ve ever been smitten quite like this before.”

“Are you sure you’re not just on the rebound after getting stood up?”

“You know, I asked myself that very same question. Self, I said, you’ve been batted around like a piñata by women for years. Obviously my judgment hasn’t been the best, so what makes this one different?”

Eric stared at Nicole, waiting for an answer to what she thought was a rhetorical question. She started to say something, but Eric cut her off.

“I could come up with a million reasons: she’s beautiful, passionate, witty, authentic…” His voice trailed off as he got a far-away look in his eyes.

Oh boy, Nicole mused, he’s a goner.

“Since I’m not able to be objective, I let Pez decide.”

“You let Pez decide what, exactly?”

Eric grinned. “Whether Carmen was the woman for me.”

This is what it’s come down to: my boss allowing a nine-pound pug to forecast his love life. A pug that is, at this very moment, drooling on my rug and emitting foul-smelling dog farts in his sleep.

“I’m guessing by the look on your face that Pez gave her a paws-up.”

“I asked her to go on vacation to Costa Rica with me.”

Nicole was flabbergasted. “Oh my God, Eric!”

“It wasn’t God this time,” Eric said, standing. “It was Pez, who, by the way, ate a bit too much Mexican food this weekend. Sorry.”

At least Eric was too preoccupied to confront Nicole on what he may or may not have known about her and Wil.

“I have a meeting to go to right now,” he said. “When I get back, we can have a little chat about what’s going on between you and Wil.”

****

“Thanks for squeezing me in,” Nicole told Paulina.

She watched Paulina mix a pot of hot golden wax with what looked like a wooden tongue depressor.

“You’re lucky I had a cancellation. I’m booked solid today.” She pulled on a pair of latex gloves. “So, what are we doing today?”

Nicole shifted nervously on the table, butcher block paper crinkling beneath her. “I, uh, I was thinking about getting a Brazilian.”

“Do you want everything off?”

“As opposed to…?”

“As opposed to leaving a landing strip or a heart, or a clitler, for example.”

Nicole started to laugh. “What’s a clitler?”

“It’s when you leave a little hair above the labia,” Paulina explained.

Nicole laughed harder. “I’m sorry—” She held up her hand to indicate she was almost done laughing. “It’s just—Whew! I haven’t laughed like that—Okay, sorry, but discussing my pubic hair with you wearing that clinical white lab coat is too, too funny.”

Paulina laughed too. “You’ve never gotten waxed before?”

“I’ve had the sides waxed, but never the whole enchilada.”

“And now that you have someone eating the enchilada…”

Nicole smiled. “Annie mentioned that sensations are heightened when there’s no hair in the way.”

“She’s right; plus, no man wants to be like a cat coughing up a hairball.”

“Nice analogy.” She thought about it for a moment, wondering what Wil would prefer, since she was going through with this partly for his sake. “Okay, take it all off.”

Paulina had Nicole lie back on the table and partially spread her legs. “Take a deep breath,” she said, while slathering warm wax on Nicole. “Okay, now let it out.”

Nicole didn’t know which was worse: the disturbing sound of her hair being ripped out by its roots or feeling like she had third-degree burns throughout her entire vaginal area.

“Son of a bitch, Paulina!” she yelled, after Paulina ripped the hair from her labia.

“Don’t be such a wimp.”

“Ha ha,” Nicole said, grimacing.

“Deep breath in, and let it out slowly,” Paulina said.

Nicole gritted her teeth in anticipation of the pain. “How am I supposed to feel more pleasure when the whole area is throbbing and raw?”

“Trust me, it’ll be fine,” Paulina assured her, as she tore another strip of hair.

“Please tell me you’re almost done.”

“I will, as soon as you get on all fours.”

Nicole did as she said, thinking she couldn’t be any more embarrassed than she was at this moment. “Should I bark like a dog?”

Slather. Rip.

“Why do we have hair in our ass, anyway?” Nicole asked. “I mean, what’s the point?”

Paulina shrugged. “You got me. Okay, we’re done.” She handed Nicole a mirror to inspect herself.

“Wow, nice work. Just like the day I was born.”

“Trust me. You’ll never go back to having hair,” Paulina said.

“After the pain I just went through, if I’m not seeing fireworks when I climax, I will definitely go back to having hair.”