jake’s notebook
Tuesday 17th December
Days since Mum disappeared: Two
Days until Christmas: Eight
my three biggest worries:
The next morning, I got up bright and early and went in search of Grandma. She seemed to be making herself at home and had taken up permanent residence in Mum’s room now that Mum had GONE AWOL (missing).
I grabbed my notebook from the floor beside my bed where it had ungracefully fallen the previous evening and tiptoed carefully across the landing.
Everyone says you should let sleeping giants lie but Grandma was more of a sleeping dwarf. She is really very tiny. Only FOUR FOOT ELEVEN!!! Apparently people shrink quite a lot when they get REALLY, REALLY OLD.
Another thing you need to know about Grandma is that she sleeps like a log. There could be a GIGANTIC HURRICANE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS and it still wouldn’t wake her up. When I entered Mum’s bedroom, she was DEAD TO THE WORLD.
‘Grandma,’ I whispered, but loudly, poised next to her bed with my notebook, ready to jot down any PERTINENT (important) points she might have to make.
She didn’t move a muscle. This called for a much more DRASTIC APPROACH. We were in the middle of a MAJOR INCIDENT after all.
‘GRANDMA!’ I shouted. ‘WAKE UP!’
She snorted violently (the WILD BOAR was back again) but still she didn’t move a muscle.
THAT WAS IT. I’D REALLY HAD ENOUGH NOW. I marched down the stairs to fetch a PAN AND A METAL SPOON from the kitchen cupboard (a wooden one would not be sufficient under the CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES).
I marched back up the stairs, taking them two at a time, BASHING THE PAN with THE SPOON, in what can only be described as QUITE AN ALARMING MANNER.
‘Guaarp,’ said Grandma.
By this time, I had entered the room again and was BASHING THE PAN right by her LEFT EAR. She was A BIT DEAF after all, especially in the RIGHT ONE.
‘WAKE UP!’ I shouted.
‘FIRE!’ I added for good measure when there was still no response.
‘Whaa?’
I realised that Grandma was awake now, but she hadn’t got her teeth in, so she sounded A BIT FUNNY. I had NO IDEA what she was trying to say. The sight of Grandma’s naked gums was not a PLEASANT ONE either.
Once she had retrieved her teeth from underneath the floral pillowcase, she started to make SLIGHTLY more sense, but only SLIGHTLY. She had just been VIOLENTLY AWOKEN after all. It must have been quite a SHOCK. Especially for someone of her ADVANCING AGE.
‘What on earth is going on?’ asked Grandma, finally coming to her senses and not BEST PLEASED about it. I told you she gets VERY ANGRY when she hasn’t had much sleep.
‘Where’s Mum?’ I demanded. ‘Where are we going to live?’
I decided that there was no reason to beat around the bush.
‘What? What do you mean? You live here.’
And with that Grandma rolled over and promptly FELL BACK ASLEEP. I didn’t even get to ask her about CHRISTMAS, let alone ask her when Mum would be home, or tell her that I wasn’t feeling very well which was already starting to feel like A LOT LESS OF A LIE than it ACTUALLY WAS.
If Grandma couldn’t even stay awake long enough to answer ONE SIMPLE QUESTION, how on earth could she be expected to look after us full time? There was only ONE ANSWER I could think of, SHE COULDN’T. We were well and truly DOOMED.
I had so many worries but my first and biggest worry was WHERE WE WERE GOING TO LIVE. Would we have to stay with Grandma even though she worked nights and was always sleeping at abnormal hours of the day? Who would MAKE US DINNER and help me with MY HOMEWORK?
She might make us go and stay with Dad. His place was always pristine. Everything had a specific place and you had to put things back EXACTLY WHERE YOU FOUND THEM. You weren’t allowed to make any mess. There was NO WAY I was going to live there. My stomach was really starting to hurt, the more I thought about it.
It was at that moment I realised I really did need to track down my phone. I still hadn’t called Lukas and let him know that Mum wasn’t at home. I hadn’t heard from Dad either.
I ran across the hallway to my room and started searching for my phone. I found it LYING USELESSLY on the bedroom floor, COMPLETELY OUT OF BATTERY. I stared at it in disbelief, unsure what to do. Then I remembered. Amidst all the clutter of spaceship models and stinky socks, I located an old, dusty walkie-talkie and quickly turned it on.
Even I had to admit it was a bit of a long shot, as we hadn’t used them since we got our mobile phones at the beginning of secondary school, but it was worth a try.
‘Come in. Come in, Lukas,’ I said, as I firmly held down the green button. ‘Are you receiving me?’
The room was TOTALLY QUIET aside from the distant buzzing sound coming faintly from the walkie-talkie in my hands. It sounded like a SWARM OF SLEEPY BEES were making a somewhat half-hearted escape attempt.
‘Lukas? Are you there? Can you hear me?’
I pushed my right ear up against the black plastic casing as hard as I could but still all I heard was the partial fuzz of white noise. I tossed the walkie-talkie aside; it was USELESS.
I’d have to fill Lukas in on the way to school. I had decided to set aside what had happened yesterday as I still needed to check that Mum wasn’t round at his house though that did seem HIGHLY UNLIKELY now, as she would have had to have been round there ALL NIGHT at this point.
I really didn’t have time to BE OFF SICK. And Grandma would never let me STAY AT HOME even if I wanted to.
It was only EIGHT O’CLOCK. If I hurried, I would have time to search Lukas’s house and we’d be able to get to school on time. I didn’t want to be late again. And Lukas certainly wouldn’t stand for it.
I quickly put back on the clothes I had thrown on the floor the night before, grabbed my backpack and my notebook and left the house WITHOUT BRUSHING MY TEETH for the SECOND MORNING in a row.
Gross I know, but it was an emergency after all.