jake’s notebook
Thursday 19th December
Days since Mum got sick: Four
Days until Christmas: Six
jake’s top ten space facts:
- They have just discovered water on the moon
- Jupiter is the largest planet in the Solar System
- A dog called Laika has orbited the Earth
- You can fart in space
- Farting in space in unwise as the gases produced are highly flammable
- Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon
- The International Space Station is nearer to the Earth than Glasgow is to London
- The Earth could fit inside the Sun one million times
- Space is completely silent
- There are so many stars in space it would be impossible to count them all
The next day, as promised, Grandma was already downstairs waiting for me when I got up for school. She wasn’t just awake which was a SMALL LARGE MIRACLE in and of itself, given the time of day, but fully dressed in her coat and hat, her handbag sat primly beside her on the kitchen table as if it too had somewhere better to be.
‘Are you ready to go?’ Grandma asked.
She was probably going to FROGMARCH me to the school gates and personally hand me over to the headmaster herself.
‘I guess so,’ I replied hesitantly.
Anything had to be better than being put to work by Grandma again.
‘Where’s Rose?’ I asked.
‘She’s upstairs. I’m sure she’ll be down in a minute.’
I couldn’t believe that Grandma wanted to go to my school for the second time that week. I guess it made sense given everything else that had happened, but I think I was still in TOTAL SHOCK. I didn’t want to believe that Mum was in hospital. That there was SOMETHING WRONG with her again.
I wanted to think of her on a BEAUTIFUL BEACH somewhere in the INDIAN OCEAN. We’d seen pictures of the crystal-clear waters in geography, and I knew Mum would love it there as she is SUCH A BIG FAN of hot weather.
I was scared to face my classmates, especially Neil, now that everyone seemed to know what had happened to Mum. Rose said the news had spread round the school like wildfire. Was everyone going to treat me differently now they knew that something was wrong?
Still in a state of MILD PANIC I raced to the bottom of the stairs and SHOUTED IN MY LOUDEST VOICE.
‘Rose!!’
‘Don’t shout,’ Grandma complained from the kitchen.
The bathroom door flew open and slammed against the wall, and the OVERWHELMING ‘STENCH OF GIRLS’, aka ‘EAU DE ROSE’, wafted down the stairs, making me COUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. Rose sauntered past, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she went.
‘I’m coming,’ she said. ‘No need to shout. Where’s the fire?’
‘In the kitchen. Grandma’s waiting for us.’ I gulped. ‘She wants to make sure we get to school OK.’
Rose’s eyes WIDENED IN ALARM; nothing was more EMBARRASSING than being walked to school at HER AGE. Her friends would never let her live it down. We were both COMPLETELY SCREWED.
Sorry for the bad language, but I was having a terrible day already, and it wasn’t even nine o’clock.
I thought this might be EVEN MORE TERRIBLE than ETERNAL DOOM. We were going to draw EVEN MORE unwanted attention to ourselves. And to make matters WORSE, if they could possibly get any WORSE right now, Grandma still hadn’t told us exactly when Mum was going to be home.
Once Rose was finally ready to go, we were running a little bit late so Grandma insisted on MARCHING us down the road to school at ONE HUNDRED MILES AN HOUR. Which was QUITE A FEAT for such a little old lady. She could be very spritely when she had a specific goal in mind.
I didn’t even get a chance to knock for Lukas on the way past. Though if the last couple of days were anything to go by, he wouldn’t be too bothered. I was determined to find him as soon as possible to try and sort things out between us once and for all.
We were outside the main entrance of the school before I knew it, and Grandma and Rose were both OFF LIKE LIGHTNING as soon as we passed the gates. Rose bolted like a STARTLED RACEHORSE, desperate to escape Grandma, who was already racing off in the other direction, mumbling to herself, leaving me standing there on my own, wondering WHAT ON EARTH WAS GOING ON for about the gazillionth time that day.
And it was still only nine o’clock. I could already tell that this was going to be A VERY DIFFICULT DAY.
I didn’t have to wait long at all for the day to decline even further. I’d spent most of the morning trying to keep my head down and had just about managed to make it to break time without any SERIOUS INCIDENTS.
I had almost made it through history when who should come to the door but the headmaster himself. Mr Gormley Gormless as the name suggests has an interesting look about him as if he’s not really all there. He wears a permanently befuddled expression but don’t be fooled as behind this glassy exterior lies the QUICK MIND OF A FOX.
‘Jake, a quick word please,’ he said as he poked his head into the classroom.
I COULDN’T BELIEVE I was being FORCIBLY REMOVED from lessons again. Usually, the teachers would do anything (short of PHYSICALLY RESTRAINING YOU as that’s ILLEGAL these days) to keep you in them.
‘Come with me,’ Mr Gormless continued.
He wasn’t really one for small talk, asking questions or beating around the bush. You were just expected to DO WHAT HE SAID and DO IT QUICKLY.
As I started to get up, he added, ‘And bring your stuff.’
I gathered up my belongings as swiftly as possible, hoping my classmates hadn’t noticed that something totally out of the ordinary seemed to be taking place.
Without saying a word, Mr Gormless took me down the endless corridors that led to his office. He was walking so fast, I was almost running to keep up with him. I’d never been inside his office before and the thought of entering his SECRET LAIR made me SUDDENLY FEEL VERY ANXIOUS.
Mr Gormless opened the door. ‘In you go,’ he ordered.
Grandma was waiting inside, and this time Rose was there as well. They were both wearing their outside clothes, as if they were about to leave. I clutched my own jacket tightly to my chest.
I thought Grandma might as well give up nursing and become a PERMANENT MEMBER OF STAFF she was here SO OFTEN now.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked nervously, looking round at the three familiar faces staring back at me.
None of them seemed to offer any clues at all. Grandma was smiling in what she obviously thought was a REASSURING MANNER, but this just added to my growing SENSE OF GENERAL UNEASE.
‘The hospital called when I got back from dropping you off,’ Grandma said. ‘They said we can go and see your mum today. I thought you and Rose would want to come with me, so I’ve got permission from Mr Gormley and Mr Rogers to take you.’
I wasn’t sure what to say, so I stared at her blankly.
When I didn’t say anything for a while, she said, ‘You know, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.’
The thing is, I REALLY DID WANT TO SEE MUM. But I still wasn’t ready to admit that she was IN HOSPITAL and not on a FABULOUS ALL-INCLUSIVE HOLIDAY or OUT WITH HER FRIENDS or CHRISTMAS SHOPPING ON OXFORD STREET.
‘I think I’ll just stay here, then, if it’s all the same to you, thanks,’ I said, trying my best to sound casual when really I was feeling torn up inside.
‘OK, well, if that’s what you want, that’s fine,’ said Grandma. ‘Rose and I will visit this afternoon and you can come next time, if you’re ready.’
Before I had a chance to change my mind, Grandma and Rose stood up to leave, Grandma shaking Mr Gormless’s hand and asking him to keep an eye on me for her.
‘We’ll see you tonight, OK?’ she said, kissing me on the head as she walked past which was still SUPER EMBARRASSING AND CRINGEY even under the CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES.
‘OK,’ I mumbled, feeling slightly numb inside and not sure whether I had made the right decision.
Part of me wanted to run after them and say I had actually CHANGED MY MIND and could I come too. But it was TOO LATE, they had already left, leaving me with Mr Gormless but feeling MORE ALONE THAN EVER.
The rest of the school day was fairly uneventful. Thankfully I managed to steer clear of Neil. He must have been lying low after Tuesday’s shambolic performance.
However, I was still pretty glad when the day ended, and it was time to go home. I hadn’t been able to concentrate all afternoon, knowing that Rose and Grandma were at the hospital and I wasn’t.
All I could think about was Mum. I was so wrapped up in my own head that I didn’t even notice that Lukas was waiting for me at the school gates as normal. We were already halfway up the street heading back towards the estate when I finally realised that he was walking beside me.
I could see Lukas’s lips moving but the words wouldn’t register in the MUDDLE OF MY MIND. He continued to speak but it was as if I was enclosed inside a TRANSPARENT SOUNDPROOF BOX.
‘You’re not even listening, are you?’ Lukas asked, his words suddenly shattering the silence. ‘I thought that now you know where your mum is, you might have more time for me.’
He’d finally stopped talking but in the deathly silence that followed I couldn’t even pretend that I had been paying attention to what he was saying.
‘I knew it,’ Lukas continued. ‘I know your mum’s been sick and I’m sorry, but you never listen to anything I say any more, Jake.’
For some unknown reason instead of ADMITTING I WAS WRONG and APOLOGISING like a PROPER BEST FRIEND should, I decided now was the time to LAUNCH MY DEFENCE.
‘I don’t listen?’ I shouted. ‘Where have you been the last few days when I needed your help?’
Something inside me FLIPPED, like A RAGING RED LIGHT being turned on FULL BEAM. All the ANGER I felt with Neil, with Rose and with Grandma started to RUN OUT OF ME UNCONTROLLABLY. My plan to MAKE AMENDS went totally OUT OF THE WINDOW.
‘You’ve been too busy with your new friend Nora to bother about me.’ My voice was so loud now the whole street could probably hear me.
‘I’ve had to look for my mum all on my own. And now it turns out she wasn’t missing after all and everyone else knew where she was apart from me. Why didn’t you try to help me? Some best friend you’ve turned out to be.’
And without waiting for Lukas to reply, I turned and started running down the street, my heart and head POUNDING, tears blurring my vision, and I didn’t stop until finally I was HOME, and I couldn’t EVEN BREATHE any longer.
My lungs felt like they were about to BURST and my heart was still THUDDING dramatically in my chest, threatening to SPLIT OPEN and POUR ALL MY SECRETS directly onto the COLD GREY PAVEMENT in front of me.
I waited until my breath had returned to normal and opened the front door. Rose and Grandma were already back from visiting Mum, I could hear their voices RESONATING (coming) loudly from the living room.
As I took a tentative step towards the doorway, I could hear CHRISTMAS MUSIC and LAUGHTER coming from the other side of the door. It didn’t sound much like two people who had just been to visit a hospital.
I didn’t understand how they could possibly be so happy after where they’d just been. I hesitated for a moment with my hand on the door handle before my curiosity got the better of me and I pushed my way into the room.
In the corner, next to the sofa opposite me, was a MASSIVE, SIX-FOOT-TALL CHRISTMAS TREE. Rose was perched precariously on the arm of the sofa, struggling as she tried and failed to hang the lights.
I stood there, in the doorway for a moment, uncertainty coursing through my veins. Part of me was angry, I was already feeling jealous that they had got to visit Mum and I hadn’t, even if it was MY OWN FAULT. And now they were putting up a CHRISTMAS TREE as if everything was suddenly BACK TO NORMAL.
But I was also excited to see SUCH A GIGANTIC CHRISTMAS TREE, right there in our front room.
‘Are you going to give me a hand?’ Rose shouted over the sound of bells that was EMANATING (coming) from the TV on the other side of her.
‘Where did you get that?’ I asked, excitement getting the better of me.
‘Dad brought it round earlier,’ Rose replied. ‘You’re back just in time to help with the decorations.’
She didn’t even mention their visit to the hospital, and I didn’t feel ready to ask how Mum had been. I caught the other end of the lights and passed them over to her wordlessly as I tried to figure out what to do.
Grandma was sitting in her usual spot in the old armchair next to the door. It’s so comfy that once you’re in it, it is almost impossible to get back out. Your body is moulded into the worn fabric covers forever.
She must have sensed my hesitation. ‘Go on. You help Rose with the tree, love. Make sure she doesn’t fall off the sofa. I’ll put the dinner on.’
No one mentioned Mum at all so I decided to concentrate on DECORATING THE CHRISTMAS TREE and ASK QUESTIONS later. It was sort of nice to have something fun to do, even if Mum wasn’t there to help us like she normally would be.
Once Rose had finished hanging the lights, we took out all of the decorations Mum had collected for us over the years, and haphazardly started to drape them from the branches, paying little attention to what looked best where. We like a SOMEWHAT CHAOTIC-LOOKING CHRISTMAS TREE in our family.
Once we had finished, we stood back to examine our work.
‘It just needs one more thing,’ Rose said, having considered the full impact of the tree for a moment, reindeers and robins jostling for space next to multicoloured bells and baubles. She rustled around in a box full of tissue paper.
‘Aha!’ she exclaimed, her voice muffled by the cardboard box that was currently engulfing her head. ‘Found it.’
‘Let’s see,’ I replied.
Rose switched on the lights and the Christmas tree LIT UP SPECTACULARLY.
‘Do you want to do it?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ I replied, the excitement clear from my voice. ‘Yes, please.’
Silently, she placed a small china doll, about the size of a sparrow, in the palm of my hand.
‘Come here, then,’ she said. ‘I’ll give you a leg up.’
The doll was MUM’S GUARDIAN ANGEL. Every Christmas, since we were small, Mum had told us that it was watching over us, but I wanted to believe that she was PROTECTING MUM this year as she lay in the hospital and would help her to get better as QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE so she would be home in time for CHRISTMAS.
Rose held me up as I placed the angel in pride of place on the top of the tree. As she helped me back down, we both stared up at her, not saying a word for a second or two.
‘She’ll be OK, you know,’ Rose said as if she knew exactly what I’d been thinking just a moment ago. She didn’t seem angry at all any more, which was A BIT WEIRD for Rose at the best of times. Maybe THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT had got to her.
‘I know,’ I replied simply, and at that moment under the warmth of the Christmas tree, I started to feel like maybe things truly would be OK and that Mum would get better again soon. Suddenly, I felt a NEW PLAN springing into place.
‘Perhaps we should take the angel to Mum?’ I suggested. ‘Next time we go to visit. That way the angel can take care of her properly whilst she’s in hospital. We don’t really need it after all. We’ve got each other and Grandma to look after us.’
‘That sounds like a lovely idea,’ Grandma said as she came back from the kitchen. ‘Does that mean you’d like to come with us and see your mum next time we go?’
‘Yes, please,’ I replied. ‘I’ve got a new mission to work on.’
Grandma made FISH AND CHIPS for tea. She wasn’t working nights for the rest of the week. It felt ALMOST NORMAL, the three of us sat round the table eating together, except for Mum not being there.
Now I had a new plan, I felt much calmer somehow. I wanted MORE THAN ANYTHING to see Mum and take the angel to her. It would show her that we’d be thinking about her even when we were doing fun things like putting up the Christmas tree.
After dinner I tried to call Lukas. If Rose could forgive Mum for leaving us, then maybe it was time for me to FORGIVE LUKAS. I knew deep down that I should probably APOLOGISE, and I wanted to talk to him about MUM BEING SICK and about the AMAZING CHRISTMAS TREE, but there was no answer. I even tried the walkie-talkie but all I could hear was the distant sound of static.
Perhaps Lukas was round at Nora’s again. I tried my best not to feel jealous, but I couldn’t help it when SOMEONE (Nora) had taken my BEST FRIEND away from me. It seemed that Lukas didn’t even care that Mum was sick, which wasn’t REALLY FAIR of me as it was possible that he hadn’t even known that she was sick.
But whose fault was that?
Not mine.