What I haven’t told you yet, what I haven’t even admitted to myself really, is that sometimes I was scared of Mum. Sometimes it was like she could see inside my head and knew I was afraid of her too. Sometimes it made her angry.
‘What did you say?’
‘Nothing,’ I stammered nervously. ‘I didn’t say anything.’
‘You did,’ Mum replied. ‘I heard you.’
‘I promise you, I didn’t say a word.’ I was begging now, wanting this conversation to be over with, looking for the quickest way to escape.
‘Think I’m mad, do you?’ she continued angrily, her voice rising with each word. ‘You and your mate, Lukas. Always laughing at me behind my back. I’m not stupid, you know. Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on.’
‘There is nothing going on,’ I pleaded.
‘You’re all in this together, aren’t you?’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’ I was getting desperate now, desperate for this to stop.
‘You and that friend of yours. Find it funny, do you?’
I said nothing. Didn’t know how to reply.
‘I won’t let them take me away. I know you all want them to. You’re all planning it together; you, Rose, Dad, Grandma. Well, I won’t let you. I’m staying right here.’