Chapter 11

 

Alex’s sweet kiss was harmless and he didn’t push for more. Hopefully, my subconscious wouldn’t feel guilted into blurting it to Grayson–whom I was anxious to see. I also needed to tell him about the name I’d found on the checks but it didn’t actually provide anything we needed, so I decided to do a little research first.

The name didn’t reveal much in a basic Internet search so I started adding in other words like new beginnings, change, dreams and hit the jackpot.

It was only one page with little detail, but it did have a picture of a mysterious redhead in her mid-thirties. It reminded me of a phone psychic, just a simple picture and the words: Change your life for the better, Change your life forever. The cheesy page preyed upon the pathetic. I felt a little sad for Alex, but also angry at the way this changed lives.

I found only one button to click: contact. I hovered over and warily gave it one quick click as if doing so would invite her into my home. My heart raced and palms grew sweaty thinking about what this lady might do with the knowledge I was a dreamwalker, if she didn’t already know.

The link wasn’t as intimidating as I thought it would be and opened a standard contact form with blanks for a name and phone number. Odd. Why would anyone contact her based on such a crappy web page? Maybe it was for those more reluctant clients. People she met and didn’t sell in one night. It gave them the opportunity to change their mind, seek her out and score her more money. Well, at least I knew what she looked like and I’d run if I ever saw her.

I closed my laptop and flipped open my calendar. My week wasn’t too busy, which allowed me time to see Alex and Grayson. The latter brought a smile to my face, but determined not to seem too pathetic, I wouldn’t sleep at my office when I didn’t need to, at least for a few days.

I spent the rest of the week convincing Alex he was madly in love with me while prying every drop of information out of him, which wasn’t much. I also found plenty of time to work out which was a good stress reliever. I’d seen little of Johnathan lately, which I found unusual. He was rarely at the gym and I only saw him once during the week at my office. I did a quick dream job and I did catch a peek of Grayson, but the dreamer ended it abruptly. My life felt out of sorts.

Alex was nice but he wasn’t Grayson. I couldn’t see Grayson unless I surrendered all control to my dreams–which I didn’t like–and Johnathan always seemed to be rushing off somewhere else. I didn’t like it. Any of it.

When Friday rolled around, I called Penny. Alex asked me out but I lied, saying I’d already made plans. I wouldn’t spend a Friday night with him, not with my emotions all haywire. So instead I did what I knew would cheer me. I hit the bars with Penny–the life of every party and an excellent distraction.

Several pints of beer and a few shots later, I knew I needed to call it a night. Because my current location was so close to my office, and I would save on cab fare, I convinced myself I should sleep there, but in reality, I headed there to see Grayson. The real one, not Alex, because that had all sorts of wrong written on it.

My room spun as I lay on my bed. I couldn’t seem to find my center and fall asleep. I tossed and turned, until I passed out.

My dream took me to an unfamiliar place, but I was happy to see Grayson waiting for me. I approached him and he grinned back, but his eyes were off. The familiar golden seemed too dark. His evil smirk grew devious. I stopped in my tracks. My stomach knotted. I heard shuffling and looking to my right, found Nadine appearing exactly like her web page picture, but with her lips twisted in a cruel way that made my skin prickle.

“Like a little fly, you fell right into our trap.” She sneered.

I tried to take a step back but my feet turned to lead. They wouldn’t move. I looked to Grayson for an explanation, but all I found was a satisfied smile that sent a chill down my spine. With a gradual progression, his face morphed and his eyes turned even darker. His face grew thinner and soon he was completely unrecognizable. I shook my head and willed my weighted feet to move.

“Hi, Emory.”

“Alex?” I asked, confused.

The man nodded as the woman advanced on me. I needed to get back. I felt sick and knew this woman planned to steal my body if I didn’t get there fast enough, but I remained frozen. Tears formed in my eyes and my heart sank at the realization I’d be stuck in this dream forever. My legs crumpled and I fell to my knees in a helpless ball, tears overflowing down my cheeks. I buried my face in my hands, clenched my eyes shut and begged for this nightmare to end.

“Emory.” Grayson spoke with an affectionate tenderness as his arms wrapped around me.

I shook my head not wanting to look up. It sounded like him but I didn’t trust it. I didn’t trust anything. Warm fingers found my chin and urged my face up. I slowly opened my eyes. Beautiful golden eyes, the right shade filled with concern, met mine.

“Is it really you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said wrapping me in a firm embrace. “This is too much. I’ve asked too much of you.”

I wanted to assure him I was okay and dismiss everything that had happened but the sweetness that filled his voice combined with my alcohol-heightened emotions kept me quiet. He helped me up, and I peered around. The bad guys were gone.

“We’re done okay.” His tone still filled with worry, but it also sounded firm. “I don’t want you talking with Alex anymore. One day he’ll slip up and I’ll be ready, but this is my problem and from here on out I’ll handle it. You just take care of yourself.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a bad dream. It’s my own fault. I drank too much and had too much on my mind. Those two things combined for a bad night of sleep. I should know better. After all, I am a professional.” I attempted to make light, but Grayson did seem to buy it as he studied me.

It never made sense how fast things shifted in dreams but somehow we ended up at my apartment. He led me to the couch where we sat.

“Stop staring at me like that. I’m fine. It was just a bad dream.” I’d grown embarrassed over my nightmare and his gushing over me didn’t help.

“You sure?” He eyed me warily.

“Yes, and I’m not giving up yet.” I kept my tone steady, my attempt to sound confident and hide the fear that lay just under the surface.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stop?” He searched my expression for the truth. “I feel like you’ve avoided me this week. Between that and this dream, I get the feeling you’re done.”

“No, not at all.” I shook my head. I couldn’t mention the real reason I’d avoided him. My emotional turmoil. Or could I? Maybe it was the dream factor, or maybe the alcohol, but coming clean about my conflicting emotions seemed like the right thing to do.

“What?”

“It’s not the getting your body back that I’m having a hard time with,” I motioned between us, “it’s this. When I’m with Alex, it’s as if I’m looking at you, but it’s not. When I’m in dreams, I’m with you but I don’t feel like me. Does that make sense?”

“Sort of,” he said, frowning.

I wondered how much of my drunkenness translated to my dreams. “I’m trying to say, looking at Alex is hard, because I want it to be you.”

“Oh.” My confession had, for once, rendered him speechless. He offered none of his typical commentary.

“And when I’m with you, I wish I could just be me instead of some bumbling idiot dreamer.” The afterthought seemed appropriate considering my current ramblings.

“How much did you drink tonight?”

“Enough.” I bit my lip. “Too much.”

He shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.”

I would have gasped in surprise had his mouth not covered mine at that very moment.

It was familiar, the feel of his lips, yet so different. Even though the mouth was the same, the technique was different. I melted into it. Was it possible to be even sweeter? I thought kissing Alex was enjoyable but it didn’t compare to Grayson. I never wanted it to end. I wanted him to get closer, meld into me, kiss away my sadness, replace my loneliness and squelch the desire that had built for him since the moment I first laid eyes on him.

He pulled away and disappointment squashed everything else. He gave me a wary look.

“Are you mad?” He leaned back a bit and tilted his head.

“That you stopped?”

He chuckled and brushed my hair off my face. “That I started.”

Why would I be mad if he kissed me?

“You aren’t going to whip out your kickboxing on me, are you?”

“Of course not, why would I?”

“Because I kissed the dream version of you, the one that can’t control her emotions or actions.”

“Oh.” He was right. That should bother me, but it didn’t.

“I hoped to take a lesson from Alex and kiss you while your reaction time was off. So you wouldn’t kick my ass–seemed to work for him.”

I glared at him. “Are you ever going to let that go?”

“I’m serious.” He put his hands up, a boyish grin playing on his lips. “I have a lot of time on my hands to think and I’ve thought a lot about you. And how badly I’ve wanted to do that for a while. You have no idea how jealous I am that my body got to kiss you before I did, but I’ve also seen you take down grown men and didn’t want to push my luck.”

My lips curved against my will. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how easily he could win me over, but I couldn’t help it. He was funny, and I was a drunken dreamer.

With a shrug, I met his gaze. “You’re safe–for now–but next time I see you in spirit form, and have had time to process this, I might kick your ass.”

“In that case...” He leaned forward and kissed me again. The second our lips touched the joking innocence of it vanished. I pressed against him as his fingers tangled in my hair. We couldn’t get enough of each other, needing to be closer.

With my arms wrapped around his neck, I scooted into his lap. His other arm went around my waist tugging me tighter to him, but the sudden movement didn’t sit well with me. My head pounded but I pushed it away focusing on Grayson and his arm brushing against the exposed skin at my waist. He slid his hand under my sweater curving over the sensitive spot along my side. His quickened breaths matched mine as he repeated the process with the other hand. I parted my lips to taste more of him, and his thumbs pressed into my hipbones as his grip tightened. He skimmed his palms up my ribs as he pushed my sweater higher sending delicious tickles down my spine, but then my insides twisted. I forced my mind to only thoughts of him, the coolness of my exposed skin in contrast to his hands searing my sides and his warm mouth firm on mine but the room began to spin.

“Son of a bitch.”

I bolted upright in bed and ran to the bathroom, grabbing my hair just in time as I heaved into the toilet. After emptying my stomach, I stumbled to the sink. The knocking in my head made it hard to concentrate on anything as I turned on the cold water. Splashing my face several times, I cursed at my reflection before I grabbed my toothbrush and tried to get the awful taste out of my mouth.

What was wrong with me? Part of me wondered why in the hell I let things get all hot and heavy with Grayson in a dream, while another part of me was thankful that it hadn’t happened in the real world or else he would have just seen me in a very unattractive light.

Though every cell in my body begged me to go back to sleep, I headed to my coffeemaker. No way would I face Grayson again right now. The smell of coffee made my already soured stomach turn, but I had no choice. I had no car to drive home, no desire to dream and no way would I take a late-night cab. I grabbed my mug and settled in for some old movies. No sooner had I sat, my mind went to kissing Grayson. A burning tingle roared to life within me and trickled through my veins warming even my fingers.

“It’s going to be a long night.”