23

Diamond seemed to know exactly where they were headed.

Jared sat slumped in the saddle.

She prayed the entire trek. Sometimes aloud; sometimes in quiet whispers in her mind. Please keep him alive.

Nathan strode behind her, his gun pointed at Piper’s back. They’d tied the man’s wrists and then attached the rope to the saddle horn.

Mercy held a gun, too, but was more than anxious to get rid of it. They paused twice for Mercy to empty the contents in her stomach. Maybe dehydration caused the vomiting, maybe just the sight of blood. But her body grew weaker, and she hoped they’d make it to the Wullen property before she or Jared passed out.

Thankfully, Nathan gagged Piper by tying a bandana around his foul mouth.

Mercy used the rest of the journey to pray and quote Scripture.

If Piper was going to hell, at least he couldn’t say he’d never heard the gospel.

More than once Mercy guided the reins in a direction Diamond didn’t want to go. The horse snorted and lifted his head to argue. Instinct told her to trust the animal, and her conscience proved right. In the smoky distance, a dark-timbered house broke the grassy slopes of the horizon.

The Wullens spotted them about the same time.

Richard bellowed above the overgrown prairie grasses.

Caleb and Emma ran toward them. Their hollers, much softer and higher-pitched, echoed the rumblings in Mercy’s heart.

Nathan’s eyes glistened, but his gun stayed pointed at the scraggly captive in front of him.

“We’re home,” she whispered both to herself and to her husband. “We made it.”

~*~

Mercy set clean bandages and a bowl of heated water on the table next to the cot.

The doctor looked up and nodded slightly. The dark rim of his spectacles rested on the end of his nose. Since his arrival, his lips had stayed pressed together in a firm line, and his eyes narrowed between a thick set of bushy eyebrows.

Only with Richard’s prodding and much reluctance did he come. Sheriff Bonner had been correct. The town didn’t take kindly to outsiders. Maybe the Wullens were just a product of the common Baxterville upbringing.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“You can move out of my light so I can see.” The doctor sounded as hard as his face looked.

“He’ll be all right, won’t he?” She hardly recognized herself speaking.

The doctor didn’t reply but picked up the long tweezers.

Mercy avoided looking directly at the wound; the sight of blood had curdled her stomach. A part of her wanted to exit the room, but her heart kept her there. What if Jared needed her?

Jared groaned and murmured something.

The ding of a small, metal object dropped into a tin plate. Dark red blood leaked from the ragged opening in Jared’s arm.

She lost feeling in her fingers, then in the soles of her feet. One hand grabbed the back of a chair. Her vision clouded, and she gripped tighter, afraid she might faint. Her gut rumbled and shifted, but, somehow, she made it out the room and onto the front porch. Leaning over the railing, she rid herself of the ham and beans she ate less than an hour before.

~*~

Viola’s wrinkled face hovered over Mercy. A cool, wet rag dabbed at her temples and brow. The old woman hadn’t let her granddaughter escape her presence for quite some time. And Emma most likely insisted on attending to Mercy’s side, which explained Viola’s presence.

Mercy opened her mouth, but her tongue felt thick and dry.

“Don’t speak.” Viola pressed the cloth to her neck. “You ain’t got nothing to say nobody needs to hear right this minute anyway.” Viola curled her shaky fingers around the handle of a tin cup. She handed it to Emma who eased it toward Mercy’s mouth. The girl smiled as Mercy drank.

“Your face is pale as bread dough,” Viola grumbled. “Got both you and your husband lying in a bed when you shoulda been long gone by now. Leonard needs my tending. How’s an old woman supposed to look after all of ya?”

“Thank you. I’m sorry we’re such a bother.”

Emma extended her arms and laid her head on Mercy’s chest.

Mercy stroked the golden hair.

“The sooner your husband heals up the better. You’ll be on your way, and we’ll manage somehow to fend for the three kids.”

Emma pulled away. Her smile had vanished. She looked at the old woman and then back at Mercy. Gray-green eyes pleaded for a spark of hope. Mercy read her thoughts.

Yes, child. We will leave when Jared can ride. And you must stay here.

~*~

Through sleepy slits, Jared became aware first of the quiet. Then the stillness. His chest rose and fell in shallow breaths.

Shadows danced on the wall from the flicker of the oil lamp. The flame’s soft glow cast a sheen on a marred wooden table. Next to it, a raggedy mop of dark blond hair remained motionless. Caleb’s head lay in Nathan’s lap.

Nathan looked at peace. The lines in his face had softened, his shoulders had relaxed, and the frequent scowl he wore had disappeared. The fiery ball of anger that usually raged in him had found another dwelling spot.

Guilt plunged Jared’s heart with a dull thud. He must ask his wife’s forgiveness. Besides burying Laura, leaving the children would be the hardest thing he would ever do.

~*~

Mercy barely made it to the bucket outside the back door. She threw up last night’s supper, then splashed her face with water from the spigot. A chilled sweat beaded on her forehead. She sat on the steps for a moment to calm her fluttering nerves. When they settled, she searched for a morsel of something in the cupboard before preparing breakfast. Returning to her tasks, she tossed flour and grabbed a hunk of dough from the bowl.

Hazel entered the kitchen, patting the baby’s back. “One of the kids is crying upstairs. They get in trouble again with Viola or something?”

Mercy wiped dusty hands on her apron. “Not that I know about. I’ll go check.”

“Are you all right?” Hazel asked. “You look peaked.”

Mercy nodded as she exited the kitchen.

Sobbing came from the room where the children slept.

Mercy turned the knob and eased the door open.

Emma sat on the bed, her knees bent, and her head pressed down.

“What’s wrong, Emma?”

“I lost Dolly,” she murmured.

“I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.”

“I looked everywhere. She’s gone.”

“Maybe she’s under the blankets.”

“I took her downstairs.”

Emma had the doll at the breakfast table the day before. “Did you take her outside or onto the porch?”

Emma shrugged.

“Come on. Let’s go look. Maybe she’s in the kitchen.”

Emma wiped her eyes and scooted off the bed. She tugged on Mercy’s arm. Her cheeks, now redder, streamed with fresh tears.

“You love that doll, don’t you?”

“Can we pray for Dolly?”

“Of course we can.”

“But she’s not real. Like a person.”

“She’s not, but you are. And God cares about Emma. He knows exactly where that doll is. Nothing is too small to talk to God about. Nothing.”

Emma wrapped her arm around Mercy’s neck and squeezed tight. “God, please help me find my dolly.”

Mercy embraced Emma’s tiny frame. She prayed for the doll to be found. And that Emma would claim this victory as the power and expanse of God’s never-ending love.

~*~

Jared was thankful for the strength and for the fresh air. Something colorful lay in the grass a few feet beyond Diamond’s hooves. One of the rags Nathan used to wipe the sweat from his face and neck? When he stepped closer, however, the familiar, faded blue print material and the two thick, braided strands of yarn of the doll lay face down. He picked it up. Hand-sewn stitches still displayed a smile, but dirt muddled its tea-stained muslin cheeks. Jared brushed off the specks and pulled dried leaves from the doll’s hair.

Mercy had aggravated him when she gave away Laura’s doll. That day seemed like years ago. Now, he saw the incident differently. Laura would most likely be comforted that her childhood treasure had a loving owner.

Emma must be inside. Her laughter or singing usually resonated whenever she played nearby.

Mercy and Emma came out the front door and onto the porch.

Emma’s sniffles and mournful murmurings echoed to where he stood.

Jared patted Diamond’s neck and strolled toward the house. He watched Mercy lift pails of combed wool then search behind the spinning wheel and under the wooden bench.

Emma trailed inches behind her.

“You looking for something?” Jared held up the doll.

“Yes, we can’t seem to find−”

“Dolly!” Emma scampered down the steps, her eyes big and her face full of life. She took the doll from Jared’s hand and hugged it against her chest. Her frame seemed so small, daintier than before.

Jared’s fingers brushed her golden hair and damp cheeks. “Something told me you might be missing her.”

“I thought I lost her forever.”

Struck that he’d be leaving her soon, Jared’s heart filled with a sorrow that weighed him down.

Her expression turned more serious. “I’m sorry I didn’t take care of her. Do you want her back?”

“I think she’s happy in her new home.”

“You mean with Grandma Wullen?” She gazed back at him, and the sadness in her eyes bored into him deeper than that bullet. “Dolly and I don’t like it here too good, not as much as with you.”

Jared didn’t have to glance at his wife to know that her face held a deep longing for these children to be happy. His throat tightened. He knelt and peered in Emma’s green eyes. “The Wullens are good people. You’ll never be hungry or cold or go without shoes. You’ll be at church every Sunday wearing a dress like the other girls. And they’ll see you go to school so you can learn to read and write.”

Emma’s frown didn’t change. “Nathan said you don’t want us.”

“That’s not true.” Jared swallowed. “Truth is, I’m not your family. These people are. You’ll miss us for a while, but things will get better. You and your brothers will have a life you’ve never had before. You’ll see.”

Emma hugged her doll tighter, but her eyes stayed riveted on Jared. “I’d rather have you.”

~*~

Jared’s boots pressed through the overgrown grasses.

Nathan sat on an overturned tree stump. Nathan’s knife made short, quick slices, and Jared resisted the urge to tell him longer, slower cuts give a whittler more control over the blade. Besides, the boy seemed more interested in venting frustration than creating something. Finally, Nathan glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, blew dust from the block of wood, and continued on.

Jared held onto the brim of his hat with his fingertips.

“You didn’t have to come check on me, you know.” Nathan spoke without looking.

“I’m not checking on you.”

Nathan’s hand stilled. His eyebrows lifted, and he inhaled deeply. With a tilt of his head, he exhaled and returned to whittling. “Sure, you’re not.”

This discussion would be hard, but the more he thought about what to say, the less the words seemed to come. “How’d it go hunting down that coyote the other day?”

“Went fine.”

“Did you get him?”

Nathan shook his head. “But we will.”

“I hear Richard thinks a couple of the ewes should be delivering within the week.”

“That’s what he says.”

“Emma and Caleb...” His rehearsed thoughts escaped him and he didn’t know how to proceed.

“What about ’em?”

“They’re obviously upset...”

“About what? About you and that woman leaving?” Nathan returned to whittling. “They’ll be fine. Emma will get over it. She’s the old woman’s favorite. Caleb, not so much. But he’ll have me.”

An emotion he’d be hard-pressed to name caught in Jared’s throat. “You are a remarkable young man. You know that?”

Nathan looked at him.

Nathan’s lips thinned. “Uncle Cletus didn’t seem to think so.”

“Your uncle doesn’t know you.” A silence stretched between them, and Jared prayed the boy would believe his words.

Nathan’s eyes misted. He stared toward the far end of the meadow as if trying to quell emotions that heightened within him. “Well, it don’t matter no how. What’s done is done.”

“I wish things could be different.”

Abruptly, Nathan stood. His glassy eyes glistened. “That’s a lie. If you wanted us, you’d find a way.” Nathan spat the words like a dagger. “I’ve seen you fight and not back down. Those killers that took me...they were scared of you. I saw it in their eyes, and the way they talked all nervous-like when they said your name. So it don’t seem right that you’d be the type to give up on something if you wanted it bad enough.”

He’s right. I’m not that kind of man.

“We’ll get along fine without you. We did when Ma left. And Pa, too. This ain’t gonna be no different. You ain’t even blood. Why would we care if you stay or go?”

Jared had no answer he could put into words.

Nathan seemed to have read his hesitation. He threw the blade of his pocketknife into the tree stump and marched toward the house.

~*~

As the haze of sleep lifted, Mercy’s memory returned. And so did her nausea.

After breakfast, they would leave for Sheldon. And the children would stay in Baxterville.

Mercy rolled onto her back to give her husband another cold stare for abandoning the children, but his side of the bed lay empty. Gently tossing the sheets aside, she sat up first and then paused before getting to her feet. Even brushing her hair made her head hurt. Once dressed, she held onto the rail tighter than normal as she walked downstairs.

A fire already blazed in the hearth. Hazel sat in a chair near the window and nursed the baby.

Emma lay curled near Hazel’s feet, the head of her doll sticking out of the blanket around her shoulders.

“Baby had me up real early, so I thought I might as well get started on the biscuits,” Hazel explained. “Your husband has already done had a visitor this morning.”

“Really?” Mercy asked. “Who was that?”

“Some Mexican fella named Delgado. His arm was all bandaged up. Wanted to thank him for saving his life in town and asked Jared about a job. I think I overheard him say they could follow along behind you.”

Mercy had no idea who the man was, but she knew her husband’s character and that God must’ve directed him before he’d make such an offer.

The front door opened and shut as Caleb entered carrying a bundle of kindling. With a downtrodden face, he dropped the sticks into the wooden crate by the hearth and returned from whence he came, never once acknowledging Mercy.

“Where’s Nathan?” Mercy asked.

Hazel patted the baby’s back. “He was chopping wood last time I saw.”

“I thought the boys loaded the woodpile two days ago.”

“They did, but we can never have too much wood,” Hazel replied. “That boy seems to be taking out his aggression in a good way.”

Mercy looked away.

“It’ll be hard at first.” Hazel must have read Mercy’s thoughts. “But the kids will adjust.” She brushed the top of Emma’s head with her free hand. “Besides, Richard will keep them so busy working they’ll be too tired to be homesick.”

Mercy fastened an apron around her waist and pulled the knot tight. She reached for the egg basket and saw it was empty.

“Emma, walk with me to the hen house. You can carry the basket.”

Emma looked up at her but shook her head sadly. She’d never done that before. Gathering the eggs had been her favorite chore.

“Girl is probably just tired,” Hazel said. “I’ll have her help me tomorrow.”

Mercy headed toward the chicken coop. A rooster crowed to announce the morning, and Mercy resented the animal’s cheerfulness. The rusty latch on the gate stubbornly refused to lift, so she gave it a few swift kicks with the toe of her boot. Like Nathan, she needed to vent her frustration. Once the metal trays got filled with chicken feed, she gathered the eleven eggs.

Voices rumbled in the distance. Jared, Richard, and Viola stood in front of the barn. Richard had planted his fists on his hips while Viola carried on, her arms gesturing wildly. Was the woman ever not upset? Jared stood between the two quarrelers with his arms folded.

Mercy wondered how he got himself tangled in that mess.

Hazel was working in the kitchen. “Baby finally went to sleep.” She took the basket from Mercy. “Biscuits should be ready shortly.”

Emma placed the forks on the table.

Jared poked his head through the front door. “I need to speak with the children. Have them come outside.” Then Jared pulled the door shut.

“What’s that about?” Hazel asked.

“I’m not sure,” Mercy replied. “Do you mind?”

“Go ahead,” Hazel waved her off. “I can manage.”

Mercy corralled Caleb and Emma onto the porch.

Nathan sauntered up the steps from outside. Fine splinters of wood stuck to his shirt. Sweat and dust covered his face.

Jared stood near the railing, one arm braced on a wooden beam. “I’ve got something to say, and I want you to all listen real close. This is important.” Jared looked at each of their faces. “I’ve spent some time thinking everything over. And praying. I just got done talking with Richard. We think it’s in your best interests that the three of you return to Sheldon to live with me and Mrs. Montrose. And it’s already been decided, so I don’t want to hear any bellyaching.”

Mercy’s hand flew to her chest.

Caleb sat up straight, his eyes opened wide. “Yes!” He leaped off the bench and threw his arms around Jared. “I knew it. I knew you’d change your mind.” Caleb gazed up at Jared. “We’ll be good. We promise.”

“I know you will. And you’ll go to school, too.”

Caleb’s eyebrows pinched together and a frown returned. “Does it have to be every day?”

Jared laughed. “Yes.”

Caleb shrugged. “That’s all right, I guess.”

Jared gestured toward the front door. “Now all of you go on inside and pack your things. We’ll leave after breakfast.”

Caleb eagerly disappeared inside.

Emma turned to Mercy. “I prayed to God and told him what I wanted. He did it!” She reached to hug Jared, but Jared lifted her off her feet and placed her on his hip.

“When will we get to see Hunter?” she asked.

“I imagine he’ll be waiting for us when we get home.”

“Good, ’cause I miss him.”

“I’m sure he misses you, too, so go gather your belongings before we eat. I believe Mrs. Wullen has some dresses she wants to send home with you.” Jared put her back down.

Emma turned and ran toward Mercy for another hug.

These children were hers. She squeezed Emma tight and kissed the top of her head. Emma skipped inside, and the porch got much quieter.

Nathan stood in the same spot, but his face had changed considerably. The hard edges of his expression had softened. And even though he wasn’t grinning like the younger kids, it was obvious he was pleased.

“Nathan, are you all right with this?” Jared asked. “It would mean a lot to me to have you in our home.” He looked at Mercy. “And to my wife, as well.”

The boy, who had tried so hard to be a man, shoved his hands in the front pockets of his tattered overalls. He nodded.

“Here’s your pocketknife.” Jared extended his hand toward Nathan. “Don’t ever leave it again. Acting out of anger causes a man to be careless. You never know when you might need it.”

Nathan seemed to accept the knife as if it was a precious gift he didn’t feel worthy to keep.

Jared gestured toward Mercy. “And you must be respectful to this woman. She cares about you as much as I do.”

Nathan nodded to Jared and then looked at Mercy.

Just enough for Mercy to catch the glossy mist in his eyes. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away.

“And make sure you tell Richard thank you for the opportunity you had to learn from him. Then check on Caleb and Emma.”

“I will.” Nathan paused before extending his hand.

Jared accepted the handshake but then pulled Nathan toward him. Tears flowed from them both. Nathan pulled away and ran into the house.

Mercy had never felt so blessed in all her life. She prayed Nathan would one day love her with as much conviction.

Jared turned toward Mercy, the last one standing on the porch. “You won’t argue with me about this, will you?”

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?” she asked.

“I was up all night wrestling with the idea of leaving them here. Didn’t want to wake you up. Besides, I know how you feel.”

Oh, how she loved this man! He couldn’t have looked more handsome than he did at that moment. His dark brown eyes...the coarse, black hairs on his unshaven face...the strong jawline, the broad shoulders.

“Now go on and do what needs to be done. We’ll be leaving shortly. But try to stay away from Viola. She ain’t too happy about all this.” He strode across the yard to the wagon.

Her heart swelled. Never had she felt so proud. And so in love. She followed him. He turned his back as he bridled Diamond. She encircled his waist and pressed against him, feeling each movement like she never had before. He freed his hands and turned around.

His mouth looked so kissable. He must have read her thoughts. He pressed his lips against hers. He finally pulled away. “I thought I told you to get ready.” His tone was warm, not scolding.

“You did.” Mercy smiled and tightened her arms around him.

“We can’t be this friendly to one another out here in the open.”

Mercy laughed quietly. “Why not? You worried the sheep might see something they’re not supposed to?”

“What’s gotten into you?”

Her heart fluttered as she realized the seriousness of her answer. “I’m not sure why God chose to bless me the way He has, but I’m sure thankful He did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m the most blessed woman in the world to have you as my husband. I feel like a princess in a castle.” Her heart swelled more as she went on. “You are strong and handsome. Smart. The bravest man I know. You work hard. You love the Lord. Besides your stubbornness, I can’t find much wrong with you.”

He chuckled. “Believe me, that’s a pretty big downfall.”

She turned so one cheek rested on his chest, a place she never wanted to leave.

His hand brushed her hair.

“I hope you feel the same way about me.” Her heart skipped a beat as the words tumbled out. There’d be a chance he couldn’t say the same back.

“You worried I don’t?”

“Well, you’ve been mad at me at least every other day since I arrived. I haven’t always been the best at listening to you. I’ve ruined more than one meal. You’ve carried me over your shoulder−”

His chuckle interrupted her.

She poked him playfully in the side and then laid her head back on his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. “I never thought I could love someone again,” he whispered. “But I do...very much.”

“Then I really am a princess.”

He shook his head. “You’re a queen. My queen.”

She smiled, wondering if a heart could burst from too much happiness.

“But you need to do what I told you.”

“But I don’t want to leave your arms.”

“I’ll be here when you get back.” He gave her another kiss and then patted her again, this time with more urgency. “Come on now. Don’t pester me too much, or I really will put you on the next train back to Kansas.”

“You’d never do that.”

“Really? You think so?”

“You wouldn’t risk harm to the woman carrying your child.”

The lines in Jared’s face softened. His eyes scanned every inch of her face. Then a slight smile tugged at his lips. “Are you−?” he asked.

“I think so. It should make for an interesting journey home. My stomach feels awfully queasy in the mornings.”

“So, we’ll be a family of six.”

She felt a playful frown emerge. “What about Hunter?”

“Oh, yes. I forgot about him.”

“The children haven’t. Caleb’s been asking about him every day since we got here. I’m sure Hunter will be tagging along beside you and the boys in the field.”

Jared’s face grew more serious. “That won’t be happening.”

Mercy loosened her hold. “Why do you say that?”

“I’ve had some time to think. I wasn’t made for farming. God made me realize I was running from what he called me to do.”

“You’re going back to being a lawman?”

He nodded. “If Sheriff Pryor will have me.”

“I was looking forward to working the land beside you. Just like I helped Pa.”

“I can put a sharecropper to work. And you can oversee certain parts of the farm if you like. But that’s not God’s plan for me.”

“But being a deputy is dangerous.”

“So is being outside of God’s will.”

“You’ll be away from home more.”

“And you’ll have three kids and one on the way to keep you busy.”

Her smile broadened as his words tickled her heart once again. “Yes, I will.”

“Now go on inside and make sure breakfast is on the table. I’m hungry.”

Feeling ornery, she circled her arms tighter around his waist and her cheek pressed against his chest, the most comfortable place she’d ever been. Thank You, God.

Hazel could handle breakfast.

Mercy would follow orders when she was ready.