How Would They Handle This?
George Graves was a corporal with the 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment fighting in the hills of Italy. He wrote a lengthy letter to his father expressing a few rather negative feelings about the Italians’ fear and hatred of the Germans. He saw some civilians spitting on German prisoners and others actually threatening them with bodily harm. Even though he was fighting the same enemy, he did not understand this vindictiveness. In the same letter, however, he empathized with what many of these same civilians had to endure:
We have air raids here about every night, and I have been in those stuffy air raid shelters with crying women and children kneeling down and praying and wondering how our folks back at home would take this if they had to endure it. I am thankful that so far they haven’t had to.229
If you have ever wondered why Europeans might be so different from Americans, you might consider the fact that generations from practically every country in Europe have spent time in bomb shelters. I don’t know how this experience translates into social and political viewpoints later, but it is clearly an historical experience that Americans do not share.
On the personal level, differences in past experience also make it difficult for people to understand each other. Like most married couples, my wife and I have gone through a long process of learning about our respective family histories. We both now have an appreciation of each other’s painful experiences in the past that at times still dictate our attitudes and reactions as adults. This knowledge has helped us handle conflict without hurting each other. On any level, the more you understand someone else’s past experience, the better chance you’ll have of building a meaningful relationship.
The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.
—Proverbs 20:5