08
I Held My Breath

“Maddie won’t even notice we’re gone,” Syd promises. She flips down one of the playing cards on her side of our corner bunks. It’s a two of clubs. “Pick up two,” she nods in my direction.

I pull two cards from the pile on my side of the bunk. I try to remember all the rules to the game we are playing. Eights are wild, twos are pickup, ace is skip? Or reverse direction? How am I supposed to remember all that? Finally, I put down a three of clubs, saying, “I don’t know . . . How would we even sneak out?”

I know Maddie warned me about this. Syd is trouble. But she’s also smart, and funny and really sweet — once you get to know her. Besides, I can’t ditch her now. The other girls in the cabin seem set on giving her the silent treatment after what happened in the mess hall a couple days ago. I do feel bad. It took three long showers before all that syrup came out of Tessa’s pigtails. And she still kind of smells like pancakes.

Syd smirks. She puts down the three of clubs and the three of diamonds at the same time. “Maddie snores so loud, we’ll know when she’s asleep.”

“Is that allowed?” I ask, motioning at the cards. “You can put down two cards at once?”

“If they’re the same kind,” says Syd. “So, you in?”

“What about the other girls?” I look over my hand, trying to figure out my next move. “If Tessa sees us, you know she’ll tell.”

“They’ll be asleep, too. We just have to be quiet going out,” Syd assures me.

I look at her out of the corner of my eye. She seems confident that she can pull this off. Still, I can’t help but think of my parents’ faces if they got a call in the middle of the night about me breaking the rules.

“Go on and play,” Syd urges me.

“Fine.” I put down the seven of diamonds and the seven of hearts.

“Ha!” Syd laughs and puts down the jack of hearts. “Skip a turn.” Then the jack of spades. “Skip a turn.” Then the queen of spades. “And pickup six!” Waving her final card, she sings, “Last card!”

I roll my eyes. “I think you’re making up the rules at this point.”

“No way!” Syd crosses her heart. “Come on, it’s my birthday!” She throws me a wink. “Plus, it’ll be fun.”

I inhale quickly. It’s so hard to say no to someone when you like them so much. I pick up my six cards, counting each one. I carefully arrange my hand, trying to make sense of them all. I think about Syd’s offer. A night out together with no one else around. Maybe we’ll go stargazing or raid the kitchen. I glance up and catch her watching me as she bites at her lip piercings. My eyes dart back to my cards.

I’ve got an eight, plus the two of hearts. I might be able to make a comeback, if I could just concentrate. I can’t stop thinking about when Syd dared me to kiss her. I wanted to do it so much. I’ve had crushes on girls, but I’ve never thought I’d get a chance to actually kiss one. Or, really, anyone. Given how my social life has been so far, I kind of figured I’d just end up alone forever. But maybe I could actually have my first real kiss with Syd. Just the idea sends shivers through my whole body. Maybe she wants to be alone together so she can make a move. Who knows, maybe I will!

I put down the eight and change the suit to hearts. This time I’m the one grinning. I bet she didn’t see that coming! “Is it really your birthday?”

Syd rolls her eyes. “Like I’d lie about that. I’m a Leo. Obviously.” She puts down an eight. “I’m out.”

“Fine.” I decide. “I’m in. Let’s do it.”

Syd pumps a fist in the air. “Yeah, Jassie!” Then she gathers up the cards and starts to shuffle. “Want to play again?”


The grass is damp on my socks. Syd is a couple steps behind me, carrying her Converse sneakers in one hand and an unlit flashlight in the other. The edges of our pajama bottoms are getting dewy and letting in mosquitos. But when I see the grin on her face, I don’t care about anything else. This is already worth it.

We skitter through the dark, sticking to the shadows. We sneak past the cabins and the handful of trees that line the edge of the girls’ side of camp. I’ve never felt my heart beating so fast as when Syd takes my hand to lead the way. As we run across the central camp field, we hold our breath to fight back the giggles. There are clovers under our feet and an open sky full of stars above. It feels like we’re flying.

“Come on,” Syd whispers. “I have an idea.” She leads me down the dirt path toward the beach. She points to a small shed. In the moonlight, I can see the sign on its door: Recreation Supplies. I give her a blank look. What is she thinking?

She answers me with a wink. “We’re going on a midnight boat ride!”

“Are you serious?” My breath catches in my chest. I remember how I flunked my swimming test three times because I kept spacing out and imagining myself as a mermaid. I didn’t think it was such a big deal at the time. Now I’m racking my brain for a cool way to explain that I’m not exactly the best swimmer.

“We just need to get in to grab some paddles.” Syd shines the flashlight down.

To my relief, there’s a lock on the door. My breathing almost goes back to normal, until I realize that the lock is already hanging open.

“That’s weird,” Syd mutters.

My stomach clenches. If Syd thinks something’s strange, things must be bad.

Syd gently pushes the door and it edges open with a creak. Something is casting orange shadows on the wall. There’s a sound like a distant wail. It’s a ghost! Or an axe murderer! Or the ghost of an axe murderer! My mind races. Can I run in these flip flops? Where could we go? My poor parents. What will they think when they find out I’ve been brutally murdered at summer camp?!

Syd pushes the door open a little bit wider. The first thing I see is the quivering flame of a lit candle in the corner. There’s something squatting over the light. Long tendrils reach down and a gaunt face slowly turns in our direction. A scream pushes in my throat. I feel Syd’s nails digging into my arm.

“Uh, hi?” says the figure. Suddenly, I know who it is.

“Ams!” I say with excitement. Syd shushes me and I remember where we are. “It’s me — it’s Jassie.”

“Oh!” Ams breathes. “You scared me! I thought you were one of the staff or something.”

I step inside. Syd follows, shutting the door behind us. “What are you doing in here?” she hisses.

“What are you doing in here?” Ams shoots back.

There’s a standoff for a moment as the two of them refuse to answer each other.

“We came to steal a boat,” I step in. “Well, borrow, I guess.” I move a little closer to Ams. “Really, why are you in here?”

“I get sick of hanging out with guys all the time.” Ams shrugs and holds up a notebook and pen. “Sometimes I come here to write music when I can’t sleep.”

“A likely story,” says Syd. I stick her with my elbow.

“Mind if we join you?” I ask.

“I guess not.” Ams motions to the small room. “Make yourself at home.”