How is she gonna just drop something like that and then decide she needs to go?
Is she for real right now?
I’m stuck between calling her back and not calling her back, and the indecision has me completely out of sorts.
People like us.
That statement sits like a weight on my shoulders that I don’t have the strength or the knowledge to carry. She knows more than she’s letting on, and while I understand wanting to be with me when she explains it all, I don’t know when I’ll have the time to even make that trip. Now, I have no choice but to make the time, or this is going to eat me alive.
I feel the aggression racing through me, feeling my pulse through my fingertips. My body feels hot, almost feverish, and I’m vibrating so intensely that I’m pretty much at the point where I want to rip someone’s head off. I know I’m frustrated, it’s not hard to recognize it, but doing something about it is a whole other issue.
I don’t even think about it. I’m in the basement in minutes. I need some of this, whatever this is, off me.
The gloves are on. The music is on this time around, too, and the more upbeat and raw, the better. I want to hurt tonight, or hurt something, it doesn’t matter to me. I just don’t want to think about what the hell my nana teased, and I don’t want to rattle my brain trying to figure out the why of it all.
With each punch, I let out a grunt or a growl. Unk’s not home tonight, so I’m taking advantage of getting every drop of negative energy out of my system so I can function as normally as possible. As the session continues, I feel stronger, which has me a little confused. Usually, when I burn this much energy at the beginning of the session, I’m done within minutes.
I can go all night, the way I’m feeling right now.
My phone rings, and I let out an exasperated yell. My music is interrupted, and I’m already not in the best of moods. Whoever it is, they’re about to catch all the smoke. I tap my earbud to accept the call without looking at the screen. “What’s up?”
There’s silence on the other end, but I don’t worry about it. The FaceTime connection is open, and all they can probably see is the ceiling. After a few more seconds, they finally speak. “Yasir, it’s Z. Are you okay? I was a little worried about you.”
Yeah, now that I know it’s Zahra, I breathe a little, but I’m still not interrupting what I’ve got going on right here. I’m punching harder and faster now, grunting and yelling as the hits keep coming. “I don’t know how to answer that question right now. I’m irritated, and I need to get some of this negative energy off me. I appreciate you being worried, for real, but I’m not about to start capping to make anyone feel better.”
I hear her let out a sigh and mumble something to herself before she says another word. “Yasir, could you sit down for a moment for me, please? I have something I created that I want you to hear.”
I’m still throwing jabs with everything I have in me, still confused, and now I’m a little worried over why I’m not anywhere near tired. In my mind, I’m willing myself to be in a better mood, but I don’t have the energy to fake it until I make it. I wish she understood that I need to be by myself right now. I know I’ll lose my nerve if I face her, even on a video call, and want to make sure she smiles.
She doesn’t get the memo, though. “Pretty please, I promise it will be worth it. Please, Yasir.”
The punching stops seconds later, and the next thing I notice when I pick up my phone is her pretty face on the screen. I have a hard time keeping the scowl on my face. Dammit, I knew this was gonna happen. I slow my breathing a bit, studying her facial expressions for a few minutes. She licks her lips as I sit there, looking dumb as hell for allowing her to soften me up. “It’s not working, whatever you’re trying to do,” I lie, hoping it’s somewhat convincing.
“Isn’t it working, pretty boy?” she teases as we let more time pass without either of us saying much of anything. She winks at me, an easy smile spreading across her lips. “Can you sit there right now and say it’s not working?”
I close my eyes and mumble something under my breath. I shake my head a few times before I open my eyes and stare at her. I offer up a half smile, my gaze zeroing in on that smirk she has when she thinks she has me wrapped around her finger. I mean, it’s working, but I’m not gonna tell her that. “Nope, it’s not working at all. So what do you have for me to listen to, cuteness?”
On cue, she pulls her guitar from where it rests on her right hip and starts strumming a few chords. The moment she hums the chorus, her gaze never leaves mine. Her voice takes over the moment, its tone cutting through the air as our eyes stay locked. The guitar riff is soft and suggestive, and as much as I hate to admit it, she has me under her spell.
Before long, I match her rocking motion, my smile easy and smooth, and she blows a kiss between lyrics, putting a little honey on the end. She stops playing, maintaining eye contact. “So how do you like it?”
“Beauty, brains, and a siren’s voice. I think I’m in trouble.” I can’t stop staring at her. The spell still holds me right there with her. “I liked it a lot, just like the songstress. How am I only now finding out that you play the guitar? Are there any other surprises I need to know?”
She blushes, but then her expression turns a little more concerned. I brace for the questions I know are coming. “Can I ask why you needed to put some time on the bags?”
I tense up for a moment, but then I remember that she wants me to trust her with my thoughts. Okay, let’s test that hypothesis, shall we? “I’m trying to figure out where I fit at Oakwood, and how I fit in your world, for real. I’m still the new kid, and while I’ve managed to catch some attention, it hasn’t been all good. I’m not comfortable, and it’s had me on edge, especially the last few days.”
“You’ve been fitting in just fine. What makes you think you haven’t been?”
“I saw the way Kenni looked at me after the incident at the mall. And when I was on a FaceTime with Kyle a few days ago, he noticed something weird that I didn’t know how to explain.” My breathing intensifies, and I feel my pulse quicken. I swear I don’t want to sound like I’m rambling, but it’s all coming out, no matter if I think it makes sense or not. “I wish I could explain, but I don’t know how to right now. I had a hard time explaining it to my grandmother, and by some miracle, she understood what I was saying.”
“Yasir, just breathe with me, please?” The stress must be all over my face if she encourages me to slow down and not feel so nervous. Yeah, good luck with that. She matches the rise and fall of my shoulders as I do my best to take deeper breaths. “Kenni and I were concerned for your safety. Kyle’s, too. Beach Creek can be a bit rough around the edges, and we didn’t want y’all caught up in a fight with them.”
“So neither one of you looked at me like I’d grown a third eye or something, huh?” I’m legit shaking on screen, and I don’t know what I can do to come back from the edge. She’s quiet—too quiet—and that tells me everything I need to know. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Let’s be real—could you even rock with me, even as friends, knowing there’s something off with me?”
She frowns, and I wonder if I took it too far. “I don’t know who you were rocking with in the A, but that’s not how this works, I promise. I would never step away from anyone once I’ve decided they’re my friend.”
“Z, I feel that, but there’s something going on that I haven’t even had a chance to get a real word from my nana. None of you signed up for whatever is going on with me, and I’m not sure I signed up for it, either.” I don’t want to show her how scared I am, but I can’t hide from her for some reason. I take a towel to wipe my face, holding it a little longer as I compose myself. The minute I remove the towel, I flip my tone. “I know what you said, but—”
“I said what I said, and you’re not about to step away like that.” She’s so pissed I can feel her heating up. Yep, I took things a bit too far. “If it means we go to see your nana and get the answers you need to figure it out, then that’s what we do, okay? And I’m not taking no for an answer, either.”
I take a few more deep breaths, pulling the gloves off and taking the safety scissors to cut the tape off my hands. “I get it, all right? I’m not used to people sticking with me when the mud gets thick. Only ones I’ve ever been able to count on was my Squad back home, and even they had to earn it.”
“I’m here for you, Yasir, I’m serious.” She leans into the camera in an attempt to make herself crystal clear. “When you’re ready to roll up, I’ll be riding shotgun inside of Storm.”
I nod a few more times, grabbing an electrolyte water bottle and inhaling half the bottle in one gulp. I wait until I can clear my throat before I glance at the screen. “Thank you, Z, and I’m gonna hold you to it. I have no idea what to expect when I go back up there. There’s so much unfinished business to take care of.”
“Then we’ll go take care of it, all right?”
“Say less, pretty girl.”
“Good, now get some sleep. We still have school in the morning.”
I chuckle, which eases the pressure I’ve been feeling all night. She’s so wonderfully frustrating—I never know if I want to kiss her or wring her neck. She’s lucky I like her. “Just so damn bossy, I swear. Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”