So remember a while back when I said I’ll never figure girls out?
Add today’s unexpected series of events to that list.
I awake to a series of messages from Zahra, saying that she overreacted in the moment, and she really would rather ride with me to the party. The other messages are a string of “I didn’t mean what I said,” and “We need to talk this through,” among other things I’d rather not talk about because it’s liable to make my head hurt and my heart ache.
The minute I finish reading the texts, I almost throw my phone against the wall.
Between the lack of sleep from feeling disconnected from her all night and making a surprise run with Unk to pick up some extra inventory for the shop because it’s a holiday weekend, I’m completely exhausted before noon.
Oh, and of course it’s a holiday weekend, which makes all the sense on the planet over why Ian would throw a party on a Sunday night. No school on Monday, which means all types of shenanigans are possible, with enough time to recover before school on Tuesday.
Now, I have to balance whether I want to ask for… What the hell am I asking for? To be forgiven? I didn’t do anything. One minute, she wants to be friends because she’s scared of how she feels, and the next minute, she’s not scared and wants to find a way to figure things out.
Just throw the whole damn weekend away.
I still don’t have a clue over what to do about my—former?—Squad in the A. Dante wants to act like I’m the bad guy when I know for a fact that Ally twisted the whole situation to keep from going out bad. She caught feelings, I didn’t do anything for her to get caught up, and because I didn’t handle things well—yeah, that’s on me, real talk—I get labeled a traitor.
I’ll have to deal with that later.
The more important matter at hand stands about five foot six with hazel-green eyes that take me prisoner every single time I gaze into them.
My challenge…resisting her charms. She’s the one who needs to get back on my good side, not the other way around. I gave her my truth, and she chose to break things off.
My other challenge? Trying my best to not make it easy for her. Yeah, I want us to be together, but she doesn’t need to know all that so soon. If the roles were reversed, she’d be putting me through it.
I step out of the shower, then towel off so I can get my oils rubbed into my skin. I think about what I want to put on for tonight. The petty in me rages to the surface, and I remind myself that, while Zahra and I are trying to figure out where we stand, she and I aren’t together, together. She made that decision for the both of us.
Laid out on my bed are two distinctly different outfits, and as I consider my options, I have a YOLO moment. I put away the hoodie and jeans I planned to rock, choosing to go with a two-toned, black-and-gold turtleneck sweater to pair with relaxed black jeans and matching Timbs. This feels like a bold look that would get the attention I’m in the mood to command tonight. The bomber jacket completes the combination, and I can’t resist pulling out a gold curb chain necklace and my prized black-and-gold-trimmed Black Panther helmet pendant.
I check things over in the mirror once again, and I have to admit, I look good, if I do say so myself.
Unk and Lennox are downstairs in the living room, watching some movie I’m not interested in.
I hear a whistle from Lennox, and I’m blushing in seconds. “Well, well, well, look at you, handsome. I like that outfit; it looks really good on you. Zahra’s a lucky girl.”
I bypass part of her compliment, smiling over the fact that a grown woman thought I put together a look that looks good to her. I hit the remote to ignite Storm’s engine, then slip the jacket over my outfit. Even though it’s still a bit mild out, once we are on the water, the temperature drops a good ten degrees, easy.
“Have fun tonight, kiddo,” Unk says as Lennox snuggles back in the crook of his hip. “We won’t wait up, but don’t get home too late.”
…
I pull into the driveway of Zahra’s house, taking a deep breath before I get out of the car. My nerves are on edge, despite all that big talk earlier. I have no idea what to expect, which adds to my urge to go back and wait for her to come out. I’ve run through at least three different speeches I’ve rehearsed in my head as I take my time ringing the doorbell.
She opens the door before I have a chance to press the button.
Dammit.
I should’ve stayed in the car. I’m not ready.
The sweater dress she’s wearing compliments her body so well, I wonder if someone knitted it just for her. We didn’t have the chance to really talk about what we were planning to wear, but it’s scary seeing the golden speckles woven into the black fabric. She finishes the outfit with a pair of black leggings and matching, knee-length, faux-fur-trimmed boots.
Whether we meant to or not, we synced up our outfits.
I don’t know how to feel about that.
She glances up into my eyes, and as much as I want to be mad at her, by the gods, why can’t I stay mad at her? She comes close to breaking my heart, and all I can do in that moment is take away the pain I see in her eyes. What the hell is wrong with me?
Zahra must have sensed the conflict in me because she slides her fingers against my cheek, her eyes never leaving mine. She whispers, “I’m sorry,” with the familiar trembling of her lower lip.
I hate repeating myself, but I’ll forgive her anything as long as I see her smile.
We stand there for what feels like hours, stuck in the moment, each of us waiting on the other to say something. I’m sticking to my vow of silence for now, even though she apologized first. I can’t take my eyes off her, reacting to every movement, every embrace, every time my lips caressed hers, as though I met her for the first time. She already has me captivated, no matter what I do to keep it from happening.
I smile, extending my arm for her to take as I escort her to the passenger side of the car.
Once she settles inside the warmer interior, I lean in—I don’t know why I do, it feels good—coming close to kissing her. “Why can’t I stay mad at you?”
She gives up a slight grin. “The same reason I couldn’t stay mad at you.”
“So what are we gonna do about this thing between us?”
“Can we talk about it after the party? I’m sure the others are waiting for us.”
I close the door and rush around to hop in the driver’s seat, stirring through mixed emotions over having her in an enclosed area. I’m still mad at her, but we have to figure out how to deal with the tension between us. I feel it on her, too, but I don’t understand how that’s even possible. Nana sort of explained things, but she didn’t explain everything.
First things first, though… Deal with the tension after the party.
…
I guess I can cross being on a mega yacht off my bucket list.
The sheer size of this boat is enough to make me wonder how Mayor Lance is able to afford something like this, much less allow his son to just take it without parental supervision.
I’m not complaining, though. Outside of the crew members to make sure this two hundred–foot monstrosity is traveling safely, I’m good with no adults being on board.
We step onto the aft landing, and it’s like we’ve entered another world. Hardwood floors as far as I can see toward the bow of the ship. Enough lighting around the railing to make it look like it’s daylight. The buffet table looks like it’s at least a good twenty feet in length, loaded with everything: fruits and cheeses, seafood and chicken, chips and dips.
And that’s just the first floor.
I take in all the kids that are on the yacht, and my anxiety kicks into high gear. I make a mental note not to bother with being on the bridge on the top level. Nope. I’m good. The amount of people I’d have to walk through is more than I’m willing to deal with tonight.
Not like I’m gonna have to worry about doing that. Our crew has already spotted me and Zahra, and from the expressions on their faces, I already know we’re gonna catch all the jokes.
“Oh, you two decided you had to take the spotlight from the rest of us, huh?”
Kyle’s giving me the business, but not in a bad way. I’d been trying to catch up to his fit game for a few weeks, and to get the seal of approval from him, and the rest of the boys in the clique, makes all the difference for me.
From the moment we step on the yacht, it feels like all eyes are on us, but I don’t see a specific reason why. Everyone on board is playing the time-honored game of “can you top this?” when it comes to what they wear. There has to be others who have us beat, especially when they have deeper pockets.
“Aye, you got room to talk, my boy,” I say. I do a head-to-toe scan of Kyle’s fit, realizing that he wants to make sure his physique and height are on full display. “You pulled out the hoodie game tonight. I see the logo work. Starting the branding already?”
“Yeah, Quentin made it clear now that the NIL endorsement deals are out there, it helps to already have the following,” Kyle replies as we tap fists. I turn to get a tap from Taylor, one of the other boys hanging with us tonight. “Me and TK hooked up with this graphic artist, and he got us right. We might need to get you to him soon, see if we can’t turn you into a walking billboard.”
“I’ll leave that to the ballers, bro. I’m but a humble fan and supporter.” My laughter is born more from nerves than anything else. “Besides, I probably look better promoting y’all than I would myself, anyway.”
“Sooner or later, bro, you’re gonna realize that you’ve got juice, too. Your ride speaks to that,” Taylor points out as the boat rocks, letting us know we’re in motion. “And don’t think you haven’t been getting attention, either. Eyes have been on you and Z the whole damn time.”
Kendyl saunters into the space we carved out near the back of the yacht. She makes herself comfortable quick, dropping into Kyle’s lap, while Tania, another girl who’s tight with Zahra and Kendyl, finds her spot next to Taylor as he leans against the railing. She’s a cutie, with her bisque skin and slender-but-athletic build due to her position as a setter on the volleyball team, wavy auburn red hair framing her heart-shaped face and high cheekbones, and a pair of light brown eyes that has Taylor’s undivided attention.
Kendyl cuts her eyes in Zahra’s direction, huffing like we missed an appointed time or something. “You two were supposed to be here a half hour ago. You’re lucky Ian has a tendency to start things late.”
Zahra blushes, glancing at me for a few moments while she plays with her hair. “Well, Ya-Ya and I, we…we had some things to handle.”
Yeah, she gave a good cover excuse, but I don’t have the energy to play make believe. “Yeah, some things went down in the A with my grandmother, and I’m still trying to sort through that information.”
“Whoa, sounds intense,” Kyle muses. He gives me a curious glance, then taps Kendyl on her thigh. When she pops up from his lap, he nods toward Taylor before he heads for the bar. “Yo, we’re gonna grab something to drink real quick. Do you ladies need anything?”
“Wait, we’re not about to bypass the fact that Z just called Yasir by a nickname we hadn’t heard before, are we?” Kendyl snaps her gaze in my direction. “When did my bestie learn that, and when did you plan on telling us, Ya-Ya?”
“Okay, first, yes, that’s a nickname my fam gave me when I was younger.” I feel my temper boiling to the surface, and I’m ready to find somewhere else to be with the quickness. “Can we talk about that after we get the drinks, please? There’s a lot going on that we need to let y’all in on, for real.”
Tania kinda takes the hint, but I get the feeling from her body language that she doesn’t want to be separated from Taylor for a long period of time. I don’t care either way. I’m focused on putting some space between me and Zahra right now. “Yeah, just a water for me, thanks. I’m sure we can find something to do while you’re…at the bar.”
We finally get out of earshot of the girls, and Kyle cuts to the white meat before I have a chance to react. “So what’s up with you and Z, bro? And don’t say nothing; she’s tiptoeing just like you are. Talk.”
Well, since he wants to keep it a buck, let’s keep it a whole buck. “She’s in her feelings because when we got to Atlanta, there was a mess I thought I’d handled that blew back on me. A girl who… We were friends, and she wanted to be more, but we had rules in the crew we were in about coupling up. She got salty about me being with Z and got in her head about us being together.”
Kyle frowns, and I prepare to catch a fade. After all, she is his best friend. “There’s something you’re not saying, my boy, so come with it, or you will catch smoke.”
“Are you sure you want it all? I’m still trying to sort it out.”
“If it means we don’t get to scrapping on this boat, yep.”
“All right, here’s the rest… My grandmother dropped bomb that I’m not from Atlanta. I was actually born in Kindara.”
Kyle’s eyes light up, realizing the significance of what I’d just said. “Pause, so that means…”
“Yeah, it means that Z and I are from the same country. Born in different tribes within the country, but we’re both Kindaran.” I rub the back of my neck a few times, the weight of the information still sitting on my shoulders. “That was already hard enough to deal with, and then she went and told me that I’ve had heat on me since I was younger, but she won’t say what that means right now. All she said was it was the reason why I had to move around a lot and deal with so many different schools.”
“And now, Z’s thinking you might get snatched up again, and she’s pulling away.” Kyle puts on the detective hat, drawing the conclusion before I can say anything. “Whew, that’s a lot. No wonder she’s so off-balance.”
“She’s not the only one, bro.” We finally get to the bar to order the non-alcoholic cocktails… I’m not about to get caught up, nope. “I don’t know what to say to her to tell her that she doesn’t have to worry about that. If Unk gets a call and I have to jet ASAP, it’s out of my control.”
“Maybe we need to get her head right,” Taylor says. “I mean, we’re getting to the point where we can insulate a little bit. Our girls are starting to get along. Maybe between Kenni and Nia, it might keep her hopeful for the time being.”
“I hear you, bro, and for now, I’m content with trying anything.” I look at Kyle. “I’m really feeling her, and I can’t see being able to exist at Oakwood if we’re not together.”
“No cap?”
“No cap. I’ve been off-balance and low-key hurting all day.”
“Then let’s see what we can do to get you two back in sync. It’s obvi by the fits you wore that you’re already in each other’s heads.” Kyle chuckles as we grab the drinks and head back to where we left the girls.
Until we see Zahra talking with some random dude who’s trying to flirt.
All I can see is black. Deadass.
“Yo, ease back a bit. Don’t overreact,” Kyle advises as he presses his palm against my chest. “This is a party; I can’t have you going off script because things aren’t back in the flow with you two.”
He’s right. It’s a party, and if she’s good with idle chit-chat, then I can do the same thing. “Look, I hear you, but if I go over there, it won’t be pretty. I’ll be back when I clear my head,” I say as I break from Taylor and Kyle and head to the front of the yacht.
…
I take a few sips of the drink in my hand, wondering when the anger in my heart would calm down. I’ve only been in this section of the boat for a few quick moments, but I can’t settle down. My instinct is to drop ol’ boy overboard and deal with the consequences, but I don’t want to let my temper and anger rule me.
The events of the past day-plus have me in a tailspin. I thought I had things on lock, only to find out how sloppy I let things get. As I slow my breathing and think things through, I realize that the whole thing with Alyssa was a bad look…I mean, a bad look. Would I have even given her a shot to explain herself if the roles were reversed?
I turn to walk to the back of the boat, when Chrisette and Amber startle me, stepping into my path. From the look in Amber’s eyes, she’s already had more than a few real drinks tonight. Chrisette’s lit, too, but she’s hiding it well…or so she thinks. “Um, excuse me, ladies, I need to get back to my group.”
“What’s your rush, Yasir? I know Z is a little occupied at the moment. I’m sure she won’t mind if we’re talking, right?”
Amber slips into my personal space, and to be real, I don’t push her away this time. It’s a party, right?
“I’m sure we can find a way to entertain each other until she’s done with her convo.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know if that convo needs to happen between us, especially when Chrisette is here to stir up a mess.” I glare at Chrisette, hoping she gets the point. “Where’s your man at, anyway? I thought he’d be helping to steer the boat or something.”
“Yeah, he’s handling all that up there, but why does it matter?” Chrisette puts her hands in the air in mock surrender. “Fine, maybe I need to see what my baby is up to. I’ll check up on you two in a bit.”
I lean against the wall, almost finished with my drink, and Amber takes the glass from my hand. She examines the half-empty glass and stares at me with this slick grin on her face. “I think you need another one, don’t you?”
What does she take me for? “I’m not done with the one I have right now, thanks, but no thanks. Besides, I need to get back to my folk, for real. Z and I have some things to talk about.”
She gives the glass back to me, standing against the open doorway as I down the rest of the drink. I don’t have time to really worry about whether I hurt her feelings. I need to get back before someone sees something that could make me look bad.
I turn to make my way back toward the area Zahra and the crew are when I start to feel dizzy. I attempt to take another step, and things start spinning.
“Are you okay, Yasir? You don’t look so good.” Amber props me up against the railing, her eyes roaming all over me as I struggle to maintain eye contact. “Maybe I need to tell Ian to take the boat back to shore so someone can check you over.”
I hold my hand up in protest, insisting that nothing is wrong. If I paid attention to my body, “fine” is the last thing I can profess to be right now. “I’m all right, for real. I just need to sit down and clear my head.”
“Here, let me get you into one of the rooms so you can lie down.”
That’s not an option. I don’t care if things are iffy between me and Zahra. I’ll go out bad if I get caught up with Amber on this boat. I can’t allow that to happen. Even in my compromised state, I know who I want, and she needs to know.
I have to find a way to make things right, so we can get back to being together, the way we want to be. If I could simply apologize, have the type of convo that will clear everything, and kiss and make up…
Amber tries to pull me into the room, but I refuse to go. There’s no way she can overpower me, regardless of how weak I feel. We’re fighting when I sense us moving backward. My head is still swirling, so I can’t tell which way is up. I fade in and out during the scuffle, and when I finally have a clear moment, I see the concern on her face, but it doesn’t quite register over the why of it all.
“Yasir, stop fighting me, you’re gonna… Oh my God!”
I’m not sure what happens next, because everything moves in slow motion, but the only thing I hear is Amber screaming, which I find odd when I haven’t touched her. Before everything fades to black, I swear my mind is playing tricks on me, because I’m falling, and the darkness of the water greets me in seconds.