My emotions shift between fear and anger as I sail through the forest outside of the building. I hope to find a safe space to return to my human form, and it better happen fast. There won’t be much time; the police could be making the rounds to try and find me, and I can’t get caught out in the open where I’m at my most vulnerable.
Soon, our incorporeal form solidifies, and we’re able to touch the ground again in my human form. My clothes are gone, except for my tuxedo pants…or, at least, what’s left of them. Panic rips through me as I figure out how I’m gonna be able to find some other clothes to cover myself. Indecent exposure is not the move after all the confusion tonight.
My next freak-out moment…the pendant I wanted to give to Zahra tonight. Before I shifted to my nonhuman form, it’s a good bet that the jacket ripped apart. There’s no telling what could’ve happened to it. By Nyati, I hope I can find it once this is all over.
I scan around again in search of anyone who may be in the area before I retreat inside my mind to have a convo. “What the hell happened back there? We could have killed someone. Seriously, Gamba, that was a populated area, and we were out in plain sight. I thought you had things handled.”
Gamba shakes his head as I create a veranda on the shores of Kindara from one of my paintings for us to engage in a more civil discussion. “I did what I could, kiddo, but your rage took over and brought the beast from the depths. You both shut me out so you could satisfy your bloodlust. If it were not for Zahra distracting it, there is no telling what else would have happened tonight.”
I tilt my head to the side, confused by the explanation. I ease into the lounger, taking a sip of water, considering Gamba’s words. “So you mean to tell me that there’s something else here with us? Where did it come from and how did it just show up out of nowhere?”
“Whether you want to believe it or not, everyone has a dark side,” Gamba says as he joins me on the landing. “The problem is when you deny that it exists.”
“Well, I’m not everyone.” I stare off into the horizon. “What makes you think I want to indulge that side of myself? That I want to become the monster that Ian’s trying to convince the whole town that I already am?”
Gamba exhales slow, and I feel the frustration rising inside him. “You are not a monster, my godson, but you cannot ignore that side of yourself. To become your truest self, you have to embrace the light…and the darkness. It is only then that you will be able to control the rage that is in all of us. No one is immune to it.”
“Do you remember what happened a few minutes ago?” I ask, allowing the bluntness of my question to land between us. “Whether I’m a monster or not, damn near the entire town saw what we look like in nonhuman form. Nyati only knows how many took out their phones and recorded everything.”
I hear a twig snap, jarring me from our conversation. My senses are still heightened from the transformation, so I focus my hearing to pick up where the activity is coming from. Gamba focuses on the sound as well, using the beast’s energy to increase my hearing sensitivity. We hear the sheriffs cutting through the brush, realizing that they’re still on the hunt. “How far off do you think they are?”
“Maybe a couple hundred feet, give or take,” Gamba tells me. “We will have to deal with the other issues later. Right now, we need to get to safety. Sounds like the sheriffs have picked up the trail.”
I hear voices bellowing through the night air, calling for me to let them know I’m okay. Part of me wants to yell out and put an end to the search, but something from deep within urges me to remain hidden. I keep moving, getting to the outer edge of the forest and into a clearing, heading toward another parking area. I find one of the vendor trucks, and the cargo area is wide open. I see some clothing left in plain sight, and I sprint over, praying something fits so I can concentrate on the more pressing issues at hand.
I hear the one voice I don’t need, immediately wishing I stayed put within the tree line. Dammit.
“I was wondering if I would run into you again,” Ian huffs as he leans against his Corvette. “You and I have an unfinished conversation to work through.”
“Don’t you have a curfew or something, my boy? I don’t have time for games or bullshit conversation.” I stand still, no longer bothering to hide my irritation. “It’s been a long night. You tried for a second time to take me out and failed, okay? You were the one who riled up those Baytown kids. Let’s just hit the reset button, go home, get some sleep, and try it again next week, huh?”
“Nah, we can do this right here and now.” Ian steps in my direction. “And from the looks of your clothes, I’d say you have a lot of questions to answer. Let’s see if I can rile you up again the way they did. Everyone’s already seen what you can become. I just need the sheriffs to see for themselves and we can wrap this up, neat and clean.”
Kyle and Taylor pop out of the tree line, along with Sarge and LT. LT steps in front of Ian while Sarge shadows me. Kyle and Taylor stand with me as I try, and fail, to step around Sarge to get to Ian.
“Your girl is worried sick about you, Yasir,” Kyle announces. “We couldn’t find you when those Baytown boys ganged up on you.”
“That’s because he and that thing that showed up might be one and the same, Kyle,” Ian shouts. “He’s a menace to this town, I’m telling you. You don’t see his clothes right now?”
I’m desperate to find a plausible answer to throw everyone off the trail. The only people who saw me turn were Ian and Jordin and his crew, so I have a chance to still cast some doubt. “That thing was chasing me, and I barely got away from it. It managed to corner me, and in my haste to escape, it started clawing at my clothes. I was lucky one of the vendor trucks was still around, or I’d be half naked out here.”
“All right, boys, let’s settle it down a notch. We’ve found Yasir, and there doesn’t seem to be any sign of the beast we saw earlier.” Sarge jumps into the conversation to calm things down as best as possible.
“I told you before that you’re off-key, all right?” Kyle demands as he focuses in on Ian. “You and these wild theories are getting really weak, for real. You have no proof and bad blood. Any idiot can tell you got pressure, my guy.”
“I got pressure, all right, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” Ian waves us off and opens the door to his car, then slides into the seat. “But as usual, Sarge and LT are here to save the damn day, so we’ll have to pick this up another time.”
LT inserts himself into the conversation. “What is Ian talking about, fellas? If you know something about what happened earlier tonight, you need to let us know. We’ll have to keep searching for it until we get a positive ID.”
That declaration sounds like a bad underground mixtape to my ears. This isn’t going to go away anytime soon. I better find a way to spin this before it becomes a problem I can’t solve. “It might have been a one and done, LT.”
“I hear you, Yasir, but we have to make sure. The public that was here tonight will have their tongues wagging on social media by morning, and we need to be on top of things,” LT says. “I’m gonna need you boys to scatter, get home. If we need you for anything else, we’ll alert your parents.”
Ian doesn’t bother to stick around, slamming the door and screeching the tires while making his exit. The boys and I are left to deal with Sarge and LT, and that conversation seems to be long overdue.
“Yasir, what did we tell you about being the bigger man and keeping out of the mess you’re already in right now?” Sarge closes his eyes for a few moments. “Thankfully, there were witnesses to your earlier incident and we know you weren’t the aggressor, but you have to be smarter.”
“Yeah, while the golden child gets off scot-free with everything he’s done, right?” I counter. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait.”
“Okay, you’ve made your point. We’ve been treating the family with kid gloves ever since they stepped into the mayor’s office,” Sarge admits. He glances at Kyle and Taylor, dropping a not-so-subtle clue on them. “And it’s extended to people who shouldn’t be putting themselves in the position to have to utilize that type of clout.”
“So what happens now, Sarge? Do I get to go home, too?” I ask in earnest. I have to find Zahra. She’s got to be worried sick, and she’s driving my Storm, too. “Or is this gonna be one of those type of nights where paperwork is involved?”
Sarge cuts his eyes toward LT, getting a subtle nod from his superior officer. “You’re good to go, Yasir, but be careful with anything you might be feeling as far as vengeance goes. We still have to follow social media buzz.”
I simply nod and plod toward Kyle’s truck to hop inside. As Kyle and Taylor slip inside, I wait for the engine to roar to life, content to get home as quickly as possible so I can put this nightmare of a night in the proverbial rear-view mirror.
“Yo, shouldn’t you be getting with Z to let her know we found you? She’s probably worried sick.” Kyle turns to check on me in the back seat. “And what about your surprise gift? You still need to get that to her.”
“I don’t even know where it is,” I reply. “I lost it, and my tux got ripped to shreds. For all I know, it’s probably at the hall in the parking lot. Anyone could’ve found it.”
“Then we need to head back there before they lock it down and see if we can find it,” Kyle tells me, holding up his hand when I launch a protest. “We need to do this. I’m not gonna let you go out bad.”
“Nah, bro, I’m gonna have to reevaluate some things, and I can’t do that with her distracting me. I appreciate you looking out, but I need to hit the reset button.” I slump in the seat, completely exhausted. “I don’t care what you have to tell your girls. I just need to get home.”
…
We pull up to the house after leaving the banquet hall (Kyle can be really persuasive when he wants to get his way), and I’m not gonna lie, I’m glad that we were able to find my pendant. I probably would’ve gone crazy if I’d lost it.
But that’s not on my mind anymore.
The first thing I spot once I get out of the truck is Storm.
I don’t know how Zahra could’ve known I was coming here. I made sure to tell my boys not to let anyone know I was heading home just yet, but here I am, trying to figure out what to say to Zahra before I’m ready to have the convo. My emotions are still all over the place.
The moment she exits the car, my heart skips a few beats. I’m happy to see her, but I hoped to get myself together first. I won’t be able to tell her to go home, no matter how badly I want her to leave. Fear mixes in with confusion as she pads in my direction, flashing that smile that makes everything better, regardless of how bad I felt things had gotten.
“Are you okay? I was worried about you.” She continues to check me over. “What happened to your clothes?”
“I’m still trying to figure out how to answer that question.” I’m still reeling from everything I did to try to figure out what happened up to this point. “I woke up in the middle of the forest. The last thing I remembered before I blacked out was being damn near pummeled to death by a group of boys, and Ian led the charge.”
My emotions explode, a violent storm that even Gamba can’t settle down. While I’m rolling the film in my head to figure out what happened, and where things went left, at the center of it all is a simple, cold truth: I lost control…or maybe I just let myself go…and I don’t know how to gain control over a beast I had no idea was there inside of me, too.
I lean against Storm’s driver side, still trying to sort through my feelings, barely keeping eye contact with Zahra. I want to reach out to embrace her, but my thoughts are dominated by the images of the people who saw my nonhuman form and reacted with such fear and aggression. It’s gonna be a minute before I forget how it made me feel.
I ignore Gamba as he tries to catch my attention. I’m not in the greatest headspace, and the overwhelming desire to isolate myself from everything and everyone races to the surface.
Zahra slips her fingers over mine, placing soft kisses across my lips. “I’m glad the boys found you. We’d been looking all over for you after…well, after all the confusion at the ball.”
“Yeah, we managed to catch up to him without incident,” Kyle mentions. “It’s been a wild night, to say the least.”
Taylor adds, “Bro, we’ve had wild nights before, but tonight was a whole level of weird. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what we saw tonight.”
I drop my head, kissing Zahra’s shoulder as I make every effort to calm down. “I had hoped to have a normal night with you, baby, but as usual, that jackass had to find a way to screw it all up. I’m beginning to wonder if there’s a such thing as a normal night.”
“What’s important right now is that you’re home safe,” Zahra tells me. “And I’m sure we can find a way to salvage the night.”
Kyle taps my fists as he and Taylor head back to his truck. “Kenni just hit me up. She’s on the way to drop your car off before we jet, Z, so we’ll stick around until she gets here.”
“Yo, Kyle, TK, thanks for having my back. It means a lot to me, more than you know.” I tap fists with Taylor, feeling the overwhelming urge to express my gratitude.
“That makes two of us, Yasir,” Taylor utters.
“We’ll leave you two to your privacy. I’m sure you have some catching up to do,” Kyle says before they leave us alone. “And take care of that other thing you were planning, all right?”
“What’s Ky talking about?” Zahra moves closer to me as the others pull out of the driveway, finally leaving us in some peace and quiet.
I sigh as I consider my words. There’s no easy way to say it, so I blurt them out before I lose my nerve. “I’m not safe to be around anymore.”
Zahra raises an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? You’re not making sense.”
“You saw what happened earlier tonight, Z. Stop pretending that it didn’t happen,” I snap. I don’t want to react that way, but the flood gates are open. “All that rage, all that anger, all because Ian triggered me.”
Zahra grips my hands tight, pulling me closer. By Nyati, she feels so good in my arms. “We will figure this out, Ya-Ya. You’re not alone in this. I’m right here. I already know what’s going on with you, baby.”
“Wait…what? How is that possible? You never got the chance to see what I can become before tonight.”
“There’s a longer conversation that we will need to have when we’re with Ms. Kynani again, but I know what’s going on with you, and I’m not afraid.”
“No, I need to stay away from all of you until I can get a better grip on whatever beast keeps taking over me,” I counter, struggling to keep my voice from cracking. “I’ll never forgive myself if I hurt you.”
“I’m a big girl, and I can handle whatever you think you have going on in there,” Zahra shoots back as she taps her manicured finger against my temple. “Even when it was out and acting on all your rage and fear, the minute it saw me, it recognized me. Don’t you dare push me away. We can get through this.”
“Until I get triggered, right? I don’t care that you were able to get it to settle down for a few seconds. You can’t be everywhere, and if someone sets me off again, I can’t be sure that I can calm down. It didn’t even work earlier, or I would have had a chance to come to the surface. I was just that far gone.” I tear up, and I’m no longer sure I can stop them from falling. “I can’t take that chance. I’ve got to figure this out alone. It’s better for everyone.”
“It’s better for me? Shouldn’t I also have a say in this?” Zahra scoffs, shaking her head in defiance over what she’s hearing. “You’re giving up on us? Tell me that’s not what you’re saying.”
“I don’t have a choice, Z.”
“You do have a choice, dammit. Do you love me?”
“Don’t you hear what I’m telling you? I can’t have someone’s death on my hands,” I tell her. I step away, creating space between us. “I’m scared of what’s happening to me, but I need to get a handle on this.”
Her eyes never leave mine. “Do…you…love…me? I know you do. There’s nothing you can say that will convince me that you don’t. Tell me you love me.”
I take a breath. I gotta get my emotions under control, period. I don’t mean what I am saying, but I can’t have her harmed because of something I did. I cut out all the noise, searching for a voice of reason, anything to help me figure out what to do next. How am I supposed to explain to her the rage I’m feeling? She knows about Gamba, but this monster that dwells within me is another matter entirely.
“Yasir…do not let her go.”
The voice shoots through me, stopping me cold. Hearing it unlocks something inside me, almost compelling me to listen. Even after all this time, it soothes me, its warmth feeling like a thick blanket. Mom. Like before.
I don’t even question how she’s able to reach me. I’m making sure I put her advice into action.
I reach out to pull Zahra closer without any hesitation, cupping her face in my hands and kissing her with every ounce of energy I have left. I pick her up and sit her on the hood, watching her eyes as they switch from a fiery red to a calming ice blue. I don’t care about anything else; I just need her right there with me. I ignore the eye color changes for now; we’ll have time to figure all of that out later.
Like she said, we have a different conversation to have with Ms. Kynani.
Without wasting another second, I pull out the box that holds the pendant, take it out, and drop the box on the ground. I’m holding it in my hands like my life depends on clasping it around her neck.
“I love you. I love you. I. Love. You.” I keep kissing her lips, convincing myself that this isn’t a dream. “Forget what I just said. I didn’t mean any of it. I can’t do this without you. You’re my chosen. Please, say you won’t leave me?”
“I never left, my chosen. I love you, too. I just found you, and you’re not getting rid of me that easily.” She wipes the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I know this is scary, but we’ll figure this out…together. Promise. Now, what’s this in your hand?”
I smile wide as I glance down at the small but significant piece of jewelry that has the power to change everything between us. “This was something Nana wanted me to give to the one who means the most to me in this world. You are that one.”
She starts trembling the moment I place the necklace around her neck, pulling her hair up so I can connect the clip. “Is this what I think it is? Is this an obsidian stone from home?”
“Yes. Do you know what it means?”
She nods excitedly, planting more kisses across my lips. “I know what it means. Do you know what it means?”
Kendyl pulls into the driveway with Raiden before I can answer her. I keep Zahra right there on the hood, refusing to let her out of my sight.
Kendyl slows her pace, reading the body language between us. She gives Zahra a head-to-toe scan as she wipes her face, and her bestie is ready to read me up one side and down the other. “Is everything okay? Z, you look like— Yasir, what did you do?”
Zahra takes one look at me and closes her eyes. The smile she offers reflects the fatigue we both feel after such an emotionally exhaustive night. “It’s been a long night, chica, but we are okay. We are better than okay. There’s a lot that we have to explain, but it will have to wait until morning.”
I don’t have much else to add to that. I’m tired from everything over the past two nights. “Yeah, we’ll see y’all in the morning. We can talk once we’ve had a decent night’s sleep.”
Zahra and I watch as Kendyl and Tania get into vehicles and pull out of the driveway. Then I escort her to Raiden, tucking her into the driver’s seat, slipping a few more kisses before I wave and wait for her car to disappear around the corner.
I don’t have it in me to explain to Unk and Lennox about what happened tonight. I’ll have to deal with that in the morning. I take the remaining energy I have to climb to the studio window so I can avoid them altogether, thanking the gods that the alarm system only covers the first floor and the basement levels. I deftly slip inside and slowly descend the stairs, hoping I’m not making too much noise along the way.
When I make it to my bedroom, I plunge head-first onto the bed, screaming into the comforter and hoping neither Unk nor Lennox can hear me. So much has happened tonight, and there’s no telling what tomorrow’s convos will reveal. There’s no way I can keep this from those I care about the most anymore. They need to know what they’re getting themselves into and what we’re asking of them.
No matter what happens, I have Zahra by my side. I can handle anything.
“It will be okay, kiddo. This is a bump in the road.” Gamba cuts through the fog in my mind, trying to balance me as best he can. “We will have the chance to sit down and talk things out with everyone in the morning. Just rest for now.”
“I will, but there’s one more thing that I need to do.”
In a last-ditch effort to grasp at whatever sanity I have left, I pull my phone from my pocket and tap on the number…outside of Gamba…with the one person who can possibly help me climb out of the darkness and unlock my memories so I can put everything together. With the threats from the mysterious caller to add to the chaos, it truly is a matter of life and death now.
My hands are shaking as the line trills, and the moment the call connects, my voice cracks. “Ms. Kynani? I’m scared. I really need your help.”