by Nancy Kress
Nancy Kress is the author of thirty-three books, including twenty-six novels, four collections of short stories, and three books on writing. Her work has won six Nebulas, two Hugos, a Sturgeon, and the John W. Campbell Memorial Award. Most recent works are the Nebula-winning novella “Yesterday’s Kin” (Tachyon, 2014) and The Best of Nancy Kress (Subterranean, 2015). Forthcoming in 2017 is Tomorrow’s Kin (Tor), the first novel of a trilogy based on “Yesterday’s Kin” and extending its universe for several generations. Kress’s work has been translated into Swedish, Danish, French, Italian, German, Spanish, Polish, Croatian, Chinese, Lithuanian, Romanian, Japanese, Korean, Hebrew, Russian, and Klingon, none of which she can read. In addition to writing, Kress often teaches at various venues around the country and abroad; in 2008 she was the Picador visiting lecturer at the University of Leipzig. Kress lives in Seattle with her husband, writer Jack Skillingstead, and Cosette, the world’s most spoiled toy poodle.
Do you know what a pas de chat is? I didn’t either, two months ago. But I know now and it’s going to make me a hero. Really! Everybody will applaud for me so hard, their hands will sting—especially Mom! They’ll give me a medal! It’s going to be great!
I’m going to solve a mystery that nobody else can solve.
Just as soon as I figure out how.
My name is Nia. I’m ten. I live sometimes on the moon, at Alpha Base, and sometimes on Earth, in Illinois. I like both places, but Illinois has a big problem: GRAVITY. There’s too much of it here. I wish they could just ship some of this gravity to the moon and even things out a little bit, but it doesn’t work that way. On the moon there isn’t enough gravity to keep human muscles strong unless you exercise a lot, and I got lazy. So now I’m back on Earth because my mom’s job moved us here—again!—and my muscles aren’t strong enough. Which is why I was in ballet class doing a pas de chat. It was not my idea.
“No, no,” said Mademoiselle Janine, who was in charge of the class. “Nia, you must land lightly. Lightly! Ellen, show her the pas de chat.”
Ellen smirked at me and raised her arms. Pas de chat means “step of the cat,” which is a really stupid name because it doesn’t look anything like a cat. I know—we have a cat. In the pas de chat you bend one leg, jump off the other leg, bend that one in the air, then land lightly. If you can find a cat that can do that, I’ll give you a million dollars.
Ellen did the step. She landed lightly.
“Now you try, Nia,” Mademoiselle said.
I landed like a baby elephant.
“Well…” said Mademoiselle. “These things take practice.”
Did I mention that ballet class was definitely not my idea?
“I want to quit ballet,” I said at dinner. “I’m no good at ballet.”
Dad said, “You’re probably better than you think.” Dad is always on my side.
Mom said, “You might not be good at it, but you can’t go on quitting things when they get hard.” Mom is always on the side of doing hard things.
“But I stink at ballet,” I said. I pushed my mashed potatoes around with my fork. “I’m not good at anything.”
“That’s not true,” Dad said. “You’re good at a lot of things.”
I said, “Name three!”
“Well…you’re good at spelling.”
“Nobody needs to spell good. Autocorrect fixes it.”
Mom said, “Nobody needs to spell well. ‘Well,’ not ‘good.’”
“See?” I said. “I’m not good at sentences, either! I’m not good at anything!”
“Yes, you are,” Dad said. “You’re good at training our pets.”
That was true. We have a dog named Bandit, a robot-dog named Luna, and a cat named Pickles. I trained Bandit to fetch. I programmed Luna, which is the closest you can get to training a robot. I couldn’t train Pickles to do anything, but…cats. They do what they want.
I said, “That’s only two things.”
Mom smiled. “You’re good at getting into trouble.”
Dad said warningly, “Angela…”
“I’m teasing! Nia, I just wanted to make you laugh!”
I wasn’t laughing. Mom never understands!
But then she said, “Look, Nia, everybody has to practice and work hard in order to get good at something. Do you know how many times my broccoli has failed?”
Mom is a plant geneticist. That means she changes plants’ genes to make them better. Right now she’s changing broccoli, which in my opinion can’t ever be made better no matter what you do to it. I hate broccoli. She was just making me feel worse.
She knew it, too, because she put her hand on mine and said, “Nia, honey, after dinner let me show you something.”
I said, “As long as it’s not broccoli.”
It was broccoli. Mom sometimes brings samples home from her work to show us. She took a plastic box out of her briefcase and, sure enough, there was broccoli. Then she opened the box.
A horrible smell filled the room, something like rotten fish mixed with turds mixed with the icky water at the bottom of a vase when the person who is supposed to throw away dead flowers (me) didn’t do it for too long. Like broccoli wasn’t bad enough without smelling like a garbage dump!
Mom said, “This is my latest genetic tweak to try to increase broccoli’s defenses against insects that eat the plant. It didn’t work.”
Dad said, “Put it back in the box, please!”
Mom said, “I’m making a point here, Wayne. This genetic change is obviously a failure. But I’ll keep trying until I get it right. Do you see my point, Nia?”
“Yes! Put it back in the box!”
Mom did. The smell disappeared, but not completely. She said, “I’m going to just leave this sealed box on the coffee table where we all can see it, just to remind us that a failure only means we should work harder. And not only that—working on one idea sometimes sparks another, better idea. That’s how creativity works. Nia, do you understand?”
I said, “I hear Bandit barking to go out.”
Mom sighed.
I put on Bandit’s leash and took him for a walk. He trotted along and sniffed everything and tried to chase a rabbit. I was thinking hard; maybe Mom was right. I could think of a lot of times when she wasn’t, but maybe this time she was.
So in my bedroom, I worked harder. I did three pas de chats. The first time, I crashed into the dresser. The second time, I fell over because my balance was off from trying to not crash into the dresser. The third time, I stepped on Pickle’s tail, and she yowled and glared at me. Then she threw up on the rug.
“Mom! Pickles threw up again!”
Mom appeared in my doorway. “Well, let’s clean it up. She doesn’t look sick. Probably she was just eating grass again.”
“Why do cats do that?”
“I don’t know,” Mom said. “Get the rug cleaning stuff while I pick this up. Ugh.”
Later, lying in bed, I thought about all my friends who were really, really good at something. Wayne was good at basketball. Kezia was good at computers. Alice was good at thinking up cool games. Ellen was good at the pas de chat, but that didn’t count because we didn’t like each other, and anyway the pas de chat was still a dumb dance step. Did those cool hip-hop dancers on TV do pas de chats? They did not.
Dad didn’t even say a third thing he thought I was good at.
In the morning, everybody was late going to school and work. I had a bad day. Dividing fractions didn’t make sense—a fraction is already divided! That’s what makes it a fraction! Cafeteria lunch was stuff I don’t like. In gym, we were supposed to climb a rope hung from the ceiling, and I couldn’t. I just hung on the end, and Ellen laughed. In science, the teacher reminded us that next week we had to hand in our idea for the science fair. I didn’t have an idea.
Kezia invited me to come over after school and see something cool, but I told her I was tired. I would only be bad company.
“You really should come,” Kezia said. She looked at me anxiously. Kezia gets nervous if she thinks you’re upset with her. I didn’t want that, so I said, “Okay, I’ll come. Thanks.” Even though I didn’t want to.
However, what Kezia showed me really was pretty cool.
“Stand in the doorway, Nia,” she said. “Now walk across the room to my bed…there it is!”
“There what is?” I didn’t see anything except Kezia’s collection of purple stuffed animals. She likes purple.
“Not on my bed,” Kezia said, “on my laptop screen. Look.”
Her laptop screen had a bunch of squiggly lines that made a weird shape. I said, “So?”
“That’s you. That’s the pattern of how you walk. My Dad helped me write a program that uses the wi-fi in our house to identify people. When you walk through a room, you walk right through the radio waves that go from the router to the computer. You kind of mess them up a very little bit, like wading through water messes up real waves at the beach. That interruption makes a pattern in my dad’s program, and then whenever the program makes that same pattern, I know it was you that was here.”
“No way!”
“Way,” Kezia said. She was smiling.
“You walk through the room. Let me see your pattern.”
She did. Her pattern on the laptop screen was different from mine.
I said, “I bet I can fool it if I walk a different way.”
“Let’s try. I need a lot of different data because this is going to be my project for the science fair. Walk a different way.”
So I ran across her room. The pattern still said it was me. I walked very s-l-o-w-l-y. Still me. I put my hands on my head and sort of wriggled across the room. Still me. I jumped, then skipped, then walked on my hands, which made an upside-down pattern of me. Then I did a pas de chat, because if anything could confuse the program, it would be my ballet steps. But it still recognized me.
Next we got Kezia’s little brother, Joey, to do different walks across the room. Kezia had to give him a quarter to do it. No matter what he did, the pattern was always Joey. Kezia’s mother’s pattern was always Mrs. Delaney. The FedEx guy rang the doorbell and delivered a package, and I wanted him to come in and make a pattern, but Mrs. Delaney said no.
“Kezia, how does the program know?”
Dad says it measures all sorts of information and puts it together.”
“But if you wanted to know who walked around in your house, why not just have a surveillance camera?”
Kezia thought hard. “Maybe a burglar or somebody would shoot out a surveillance camera. I saw that on TV once. Or maybe people wouldn’t buy cameras. Our house doesn’t have one—does yours?”
“No.”
“But everybody has wi-fi.”
“Yeah. It’s cool, Keez. And a good science fair project.”
“What’s yours?”
I was going to show some moonrocks from when I lived on Alpha Base, but all of a sudden that didn’t seem like such a great idea. Moonrocks don’t do anything. They just lie there, being rocky.
I tried to look like a person who had so many good science fair ideas that she couldn’t pick just one. “I’m still choosing.”
She said, “Well, I’m sure it’ll be really good.”
I wasn’t.
When I got home for dinner, Mom said, “What did you do with the broccoli?”
“The what?”
“The genetically altered broccoli sample from last night. Look.” She pointed.
In the living room, the plastic case lay on its side. The lid was on the floor. The broccoli was gone.
“Nia,” Mom said, “I know you don’t like broccoli, but that sample was the property of the lab, and you had no right to destroy it to make whatever point you were making. Did you put it down the garbage disposal?”
“No. I didn’t take it.”
Mom looked at me for a long time. Then she said, “I believe you.”
I was getting excited. “Did you ask Dad if he threw it out?”
“Yes. He didn’t touch it.”
“Did anybody else come over after I went to bed last night?”
“No,” Mom said. “Why do you look so happy?”
“Because that means we had a burglar!”
Now Mom looked confused. “Nia, do you feel all right? Why are you happy that we had a—no, that’s ridiculous. Nobody would steal a smelly piece of broccoli.”
“Yes, they would! I saw it on TV—these bad guys stole a formula from a scientific lab and sold it to another company! It was called industry spinach.”
“Industrial espionage,” Mom said. “And we were not burglarized. Nothing else is missing.”
Of course not. If the bad guys took any electronics or jewelry or anything, Mom would call the police. But she wasn’t going to call the police about stolen broccoli. They would laugh at her. But I wasn’t laughing, because I knew what was really going on.
“Okay,” I said. “Can I help with dinner?”
Mom looked startled. “Well, sure. Thank you.”
During dessert, I said casually, “I thought of a science fair project.”
“Great!” Dad said. “What is it?”
“It’s about genetically altered food. Mom, could you bring home other samples of the broccoli experiments?”
Mom said, “Yes, I’d be glad to.” She looked really happy. I felt a little guilty, but not much.
“And I want to show you something. Kezia gave me a copy of the program she and her dad are doing for the science fair. It’s cool.”
I got Dad, and then Mom, to walk around the living room to get their patterns into the laptop. I even got them to do pas de chats. “It’s part of the project,” I said, even though that wasn’t exactly true. Dad looked pretty funny leaping into the air. But Mom surprised me. Her pas de chat was perfect.
“I did ballet as a child,” she said. “The training comes back to you.”
It wasn’t until I was already in bed that I realized something important: Mom was so pleased I was interested in science because she did science. She signed me up for ballet because she did ballet. Mom wanted me to be her.
I could get mad about that, but I didn’t, because I was going to do something nobody else did. I was going to catch burglars. And I was going to be really good at it.
Only it didn’t exactly happen like that.
We learned a new step in ballet class: the arabesque. This is sort of like your arms reach forward and your leg reaches back, and it’s just as dumb as the pas de chat. If you’re reaching forward for something, why stick your leg out the back? It makes no sense.
“It makes no sense,” I said to Mademoiselle, who frowned. Ellen giggled. The smallest girl in class, Elaine, got all wide-eyed because I was talking back. I stuck out my lower lip.
Mademoiselle said, “Its sense is beauty. The arabesque is beautiful.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It will be when you learn it properly. Now, fifth position…arm out…reach your chin along the line of your extended arm…Elaine, straight back, with no arch. Nia, no weight on the back right leg, or when you lift the leg, you will fall over. Now lift!”
I fell over.
“Ow! Ow!” I said, even though nothing hurt. “I think my leg is broken!”
“Your leg is not broken,” Mademoiselle said. “Again, everyone.”
Nobody ever listens to me.
That night I said to Mom, “I want to quit ballet.”
But Mom didn’t listen to me either. “No, Nia. The doctor said this was the best way to strengthen your muscles.”
“But—”
“If you practice more, you’ll get good at ballet. Meanwhile, I brought home another broccoli sample from the lab, like you asked.”
“Great! Is this one another failure?”
“Yes. It didn’t stop the insects from eating it at all.” Mom took another plastic box from her purse. “Can you use this for your science fair project?”
“Yes!”
Mom stared hard at me. “What exactly is your science fair project?”
“It’s a secret. I want to surprise you.” I took the plastic box from Mom. Tonight, I was sure, the industrial espionage thieves would steal this one, too. And I would be the one to identify them and be a hero!
In bed, I set my alarm for midnight. It was hard to wake up then, but I did. I put my open laptop in a corner of the living room, all ready to catch the walked-through radio waves and prove that someone who wasn’t me or Mom or Dad broke into our house and stole the broccoli. I did an arabesque in front of the program to make sure it was working, and this time I didn’t fall over, only wobbled a lot. I could see myself in the mirror over the fireplace. The arabesque might have worked my muscles, but it wasn’t beautiful.
I put the broccoli sample on the coffee table, with the lid off the box so the thief could be sure he was stealing the right thing and not, say, my lunch for tomorrow. Then I went back to bed.
In the morning, the broccoli was still there.
Okay, so the industrial thieves skipped a night. They’d be back soon. Every night I put out broccoli samples. Every night they were still there in the morning. What was wrong with these industrial espionage thieves? How come they were so bad at their jobs?
Meantime, ballet got worse and worse. I couldn’t do the steps. I didn’t want to do the steps. I didn’t do the steps. Mademoiselle called my mother.
“Nia,” Mom said, “Tomorrow we’re going up to Chicago on the train.”
“Really?” I liked Chicago. “Can we go to the museum with the cool dinosaurs?”
“We’re going to go to the ballet. Maybe if you see one danced, it will inspire you. We’re going to see Giselle.”
“No! That’s just a waste of a good Chicago trip!”
Mom looked tired. “Can you just reserve judgment until you actually see the ballet?”
I reserved judgment. I saw the ballet. All I can say is, it was worse than class. Giselle is this girl in a village who dances around a lot and meets a prince hunting in the forest. They fall in love. It turns out that the prince is going to marry somebody else, and Giselle is so upset that she goes crazy and dances herself to death. What? If I ever liked a boy and he lied to me like that, I wouldn’t go crazy, I’d get mad! Then Giselle dies from a broken heart and becomes a ghost. I don’t know what happens after that because I fell asleep.
On the train on the way home, Mom said, “Okay, Nia. Okay. You can quit ballet.”
“Really?”
“Really. Just answer me one thing, and answer truthfully. Was Mademoiselle right? Did Giselle create beauty?”
“Yeah,” I said, because it was true. The ballet was beautiful. But beauty was just one more thing I wasn’t good at.
When we got home, the latest broccoli sample from Mom’s lab was gone.
But there was no pattern of any wi-fi interruption on my laptop.
“I know what happened,” I said to Kezia. “The thief was really clever. They crawled along the floor, reached up maybe two fingers to get the broccoli, and crawled away. I found little bits of broccoli all the way on a path to the door. But the burglars were never high enough for the laptop to see them, so it couldn’t make a pattern of how they moved.”
Kezia shivered. “What are you going to do? You should call the police and tell them.”
“No! This is my project. I’m going to put the next sample that Mom brings home on top of a big stack of books so the thieves have to get high enough for the wi-fi to interrupt their radio waves. Tonight.”
“Do you have another broccoli?”
“Yes. And the thieves will know it’s there because it smells even worse than the first one. Mom says it does better at keeping away insects, but not enough better.”
Kezia said. “I wouldn’t buy broccoli that smelled bad.”
“Mom is working on that.” Not that it would help. I wouldn’t buy broccoli even if it smelled like chocolate. Even dumb Giselle wouldn’t buy this broccoli, which smelled like a dead mouse.
At midnight, I held my nose and put the broccoli sample on top of a huge stack of Dad’s books. One of them fell off. I was going to put it back when I saw the title: Animal Diseases. The book was full of pictures of skeletons and worms and a lot of other things we didn’t have at Alpha Colony on the moon, where we didn’t have any animals, either. I was curious.
It turned out that the book was full of interesting stuff. Did you know that mice can catch a disease that makes them lose all fear of cats? They’ll just walk up to a big cat and grin at it. Did you know that cats can get the flu? Or that vets find all sorts of weird things in the stomachs of dogs that they do operations on? One Labrador retriever ate sixteen pairs of socks!
I got so interested that I took the book to our big blue chair and started reading, using a little flashlight so too much light wouldn’t wake Mom. Only it was so late that I fell asleep and didn’t wake up until the thief came for the broccoli.
CRASH!
MORE CRASH!
SCREAM! (That was me.)
YOWL!
Yowl? The industrial espionage thief yowled? I swung the flashlight around just in time to see the whole huge tower of books fall on Pickles, who had the broccoli in her mouth.
“Pickles!” I leaped off the chair and dashed over to my cat. She hissed and scratched me. Was she hurt? Did the books break her bones?
Dad and Mom and Bandit rushed into the living room. Mom and Dad shouted, “What happened?” Bandit barked. Pickles yowled. The only reason Luna didn’t add to the noise was that she was turned off. Sometimes a robot dog is a really good thing.
“Nia, what have you done now?” Mom said.
“Pickles is hurt!” She was trying to limp away, still with the broccoli in her mouth. When Dad tried to pick her up, she almost bit him.
I burst into tears. “I hurt Pickles! And there was no thief! I’m not good at anything!”
The vet was grumpy about getting out of bed in the middle of the night, but he met us at his office. Mom, Dad, and I drove there, all of us still in our bathrobes and Pickles quiet now, munching the broccoli. Mom kept staring at the cat like she couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t, either. Who likes broccoli?
The vet said Pickles was fine, just cut and bruised from the books falling on her, and that we all overreacted and should have more sense. We went home and I fell into bed and slept and slept. Mom didn’t even make me go to school the next day.
And that was the day I found out what I was good at.
I was the only one Pickles would let put medicine on her cut paw. Then she curled up on me while I sat in bed reading the dinosaur book. In the afternoon, Mom came home from the lab.
“Nia, I have some exciting news.”
“What?” This better not involve another muscle-strengthening class like ballet.
“I spent the morning testing the two broccoli samples that Pickles stole. Both of them, you remember, smelled really bad.”
Of course I remembered; nobody could forget that smell.
“But,” Mom continued, “they didn’t smell bad to a cat. We had a lab meeting this morning, and we think that with a little tweaking, we can adapt those broccoli samples to create a pet food that really appeals to animals and contains the vegetable matter they need, so they don’t go on eating grass and throwing up. One of our biologists said that dogs and cats eat grass because they need folic acid, and broccoli has lots of folic acid. A new pet-food formula could be good for animals and profitable for the lab. And we wouldn’t have discovered it without you.”
I said, “Do I get any of the money?”
Mom smiled. “No. You didn’t create the broccoli.”
“Well, I have some news, too. I’m good at taking care of animals. I’m going to be a vet when I grow up, probably a vet for dinosaurs.”
Mom’s face changed. “Nia—”
“Just kidding. I know there aren’t any more dinosaurs. But I’m still going to be a vet.” I stroked Pickles, who purred. And who knows—maybe there were a few small dinosaurs left someplace, deep in caves or at the bottom of dark lakes or something. Even scientists don’t know everything. Look at Mom—she didn’t know why Pickles ate grass until some biologist told her. But if there weren’t any more dinosaurs, I’d be a vet for dogs and cats and goats and chickens. Chickens get a weird disease that makes them pull out all their feathers.
Mom said, “Being a vet is a wonderful ambition, honey.”
“And I’m going to do weight lifting.”
“Weight lifting?”
“Yes,” I said. “It will get my muscles just as strong as ballet. Stronger.”
“Well… I’ll look into it.”
I knew that was all I was going to get right now. Instead of arguing, I opened my laptop and showed Mom a wi-fi-interruption pattern. She said, “What’s that?”
“That’s the pattern that Pickles made in the wi-fi radio waves when she jumped onto the books, scrambled in the air, yowled, and fell with her legs all stuck out funny.”
Mom squinted at the pattern. It made a perfect pas de chat.
I said, “Isn’t it beautiful?”