Misread Signs

I missed the sign that said OPEN for business

For good times APPLY WITHIN

I overlooked the sign that read FREE RIDES HERE

Forgive me for not understanding the rules

of etiquette for revealing attire

The clause that gave you the right to disrespect me

Just because I have large breasts and a big behind

I’m sorry if the media has lead you

To believe in a fantasy

But lies have been told

Your need for oral copulation and sweaty sheets

Has got you chasing false advertisements

I AM NOT A HO

I don’t do service calls or lunch escapades

If you placed a price tag on me

Then I’m out of your league

I’m a queen and always a lady

I’m truly sorry but a mistake has been made

Please listen while I clarify

My sign says

APPLY BRAKES PROCEED SLOWLY