Chapter 6

 

By this stage, I’m getting used to the routine in More Video 4U and the second week passes quickly. Andy schedules me to work most shifts on my own, which I take as a good sign. Some of the regulars have started to recognise me and sometimes stop and chat for a bit when they come into the shop. Once again, there’s no sign of Kit or her friends, but I’m not worried. Sooner or later, one of them will get in touch.

Sure enough, on Thursday afternoon, Felice drops in during the quiet time. While she’s browsing the latest arrivals, she suddenly says, “Do you want to come to a party on Saturday?”

“Sure,” I reply, “at your place?”

“Not exactly, Black Death has decided to spend the summer in Drimshanra.”

“Really?” I can’t keep the surprise out of my voice.

“Yeah, really, what’s so amazing about that? They have to live somewhere. Do you want to come to the house-warming or not?”

“Sure!”

As she scribbles down the address, I’m dying to ask her more, like why on earth a hot new act would think it was a good idea to move to Drimshanra, but her glare puts me off.

“Okay, I’m taking all of these.” She dumps a pile of videos on the counter in front of me and I fill the empty sleeves.

She grins when I don’t try to ring it up. Inwardly, I’ve made a mental note of the films and I’ll ask Andy what to do when I see him.

“See you Saturday,” she says.

“Can’t wait,” I reply, but she’s already gone.

Andy arrives in the evening and I tell him about Felice’s visit to the shop.

“Yeah, just as well you didn’t try to ring it up. People have been fired for less.”

“You can’t be serious?” Feeling grateful to Kit for the warning, I swallow a gulp. I’d begun to think Felice was all bark and no bite.

“Oh yeah, she’s a wild cat, that one! But she’s the boss’s daughter and there’s nothing we can do about it. Just bring up her file and make a note of anything she borrows. At least that way we can track the inventory.”

“And supposing she doesn’t bring them back on time?”

“Bring them back on time?” Andy almost screeches. “She never brings them back on time. We’re lucky if she brings them back at all. Anyway,” he resumes in a calmer tone, “you’ve been here two weeks, more or less, so your trial is over! The job is yours if you want it.”

Of course I want it. It’s such a relief I almost hug him. “That’s great, thanks so much.”

“Yeah, so make the most of this weekend. Starting Monday, it’s going to be full time, lots of Saturday nights. I don’t want you letting me down.”

“Yes, boss, I’m yours to command,” I snap my heels together with a mock salute.

“Sometimes I wonder where we got you from.” He’s smiling as he shakes his head.

“Hey, Andy, do you know where this is?” I show him the address Felice gave me.

“Yeah, it’s that new estate the other side of town, out the Dublin Road. You’ll need a car to get there.”

I nod, satisfied. Mam will lend me hers.

Mam and I spend Saturday morning unpacking the last remaining boxes. There’s only a couple left, with nothing much in them, a few ornaments from second-hand shops and my old school-books. Those might as well stay in the box as far as I’m concerned but, while there’s no attic in the tiny house, there is an alcove beside the miniature fireplace in the living room. Mam is anxious to find stuff to fill the shelves built into it. Perhaps she thinks it will make the place look more cheerful and homely, but the random selection of text books and old-fashioned china just looks odd.

“Hmm, it still needs something,” she says, “perhaps some new curtains? Let’s have a cup of tea and think about it.”

When I’ve put on the kettle, I ask if I can borrow her car.

“Of course, it’s wonderful the way you have a social life already. But you’ll remember not to drink?”

“I won’t drink, Mam,” I say softly. Even though we never talk about him, we both remember Dad. Let’s just say alcohol has zero appeal for me. Mam knows that perfectly well.

“It’s great you’ve got the job.” She runs her hand through my hair.

“It’s a big chain. Over time I might get promoted.”

“I’m sure you will,” her smile is a little forlorn, “they’re lucky to have you. And so am I. Now I need to hurry up and get a job too.”

“There’s no rush, Mam. We’re still only getting settled in.” I was hoping getting out of the city would be good for her, but she’s as pale as ever and, if anything, the circles under her eyes are darker. “It’s a nice day, do you want to go for a drive, see some of the countryside? Maybe we could get lunch somewhere, to celebrate my new job, now it’s official?”

“That’s a lovely idea,” she gives me a quick hug, “but let’s wait till things are a bit more stable and we’ve some money in the kitty.”

She’s right of course. Moving is an expensive business, with all kinds of extras you don’t think of, like the way the landlord always finds some reason to keep most of your deposit when you leave a place, but you still have to pay the full deposit on the next one. Then there was the van we rented to move all our stuff, and a few things we needed to replace when we got here. Besides, even though I have a job, I won’t be paid till the end of the month, so things are especially tight at the moment. Still, I’m sorry we can’t get out of this dank and gloomy house.

I spend the afternoon upstairs in my room, listening to music and practising guitar, imagining I’m playing for Kit. I decide to wear the Nirvana t-shirt Mam gave me for my birthday to the party. I hardly ever wear it because I don’t want it to go from velvety black to washed-out grey, but I’m hoping tonight it will bring me luck.

“Don’t wait up for me, Mam,” I say when I’m leaving. “I don’t know what time the party ends.”

“You stay as long as you like. And don’t worry about me. I’m going to have an early night.”

Are you sure you’re alright? The question hovers on my lips but something in her expression stops me from asking it aloud. It’s unspoken between us, the agreement that Mam isn’t ill. I just wish I still believed it.

“Go, enjoy yourself! You need to get out, mix with people your own age!” She shoos me playfully out the door. I love her when she’s like this, vivacious and teasing, instead of pretending not to be in pain.

The big new estate is easy enough to find, though the house itself is more of a challenge. It’s nicer than the last place we lived in Dublin. The houses are bigger and smarter, but I can’t help wondering what it will be like in twenty years time. Will it live up to the promise of the advertisements, with prosperous families strolling around with prams and a new car in the driveway, or will it have deteriorated? Will it be like my former home, windblown tracts, with rubbish and broken glass, shadowy figures lurking at corners, residents hiding inside once it gets dark, a couple of abandoned, burnt-out lots where kids hang out getting drunk and high? Houses grown shabby because there’s no money to maintain them, tiny front gardens overgrown with weeds and piled high with junk, a hopeless air of misery hanging over the place. It could have been worse. At least by that point I’d learned to become invisible. It’s the only way to survive in a place like that. Nobody picked on me, I was just an anonymous teenager everyone ignored.

My mood lifts as I turn a corner and see a brightly lit house straight ahead, a crowd of young people gathered on the cobble locked driveway and music blaring through the open front door. I park at the kerb and walk up the street, buoyed up by a sense of optimism as I approach the cheery scene, golden in the late evening light.

The dreary estate on the outskirts of the city is in the past. Who knows, this house in Drimshanra might hold the key to my future. It’s a strange thought and I don’t know why it comes into my head, but the truth is I feel like my destiny is about to unfold.

At first I thought it was just the relief of being somewhere new, but now I’m beginning to believe that Drimshanra is the fresh start I’ve always dreamed of, the one where I can re-invent myself.

Perhaps this time, I can actually be somebody.