ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

One of the best worst things about writing anonymously, pseudonymously, and surreptitiously, as I do, is that I get to have to pretend that I write my books entirely by myself. As much as I might want to give credit where it’s due, it is far safer for me to stay quiet. Any name I might mention is one more way for my enemies to try to track me down.

Nonetheless, after nine books, it is perhaps time to say a word or two on behalf of those who have supported me on the road to literary greatness. Or so the rabbit typing these words for me very strongly suggests. Who has been there, year after year, slaving away by your side, Quiche asks, always ready to lend a hand, or foot, or paw?

Well, Quiche, I hate to admit it, but you’re right. It would be shameful not to acknowledge the hard work and dedication of the people who make the chocolate that sustains me as I—

Tussle—Quiche abandons typewriter—Pseudonymous takes over.

It seems that I have offended my rabbit somehow. Evidently, Quiche was not saying I should thank the chocolatiers of the world. Perhaps he meant the carrot farmers? What’s that, Quiche—I should be thinking of something furry that lives in a top hat? Hmm. Do you mean I should be checking my hat for mold? It does need cleaning.…

If not chocolatiers, I suppose there are a few others I should thank. True, I’d rather not reveal their names, but perhaps I could put them at the bottom of the page. In very small type.

It seems fitting that I end this book with a footnote.*