“Da, are you sure about sleeping in the same room as Ma?”
I woke from a light doze to the sound of Lachlan and Magnus speaking quietly outside my door. The room was dark and I could just make out the outline of Milly’s book face-down on my lap.
“I ken why you feel it is necessary to pretend, but you both could easily go to a hotel and return in the morning,” Magnus was saying.
Instead of responding to his son’s question, Lachlan asked, “Do ye think she was merely spinning a tall tale earlier?”
“What?” It sounded like Magnus was struggling to understand his father’s question. “Are ye talking about all the braw wolf stuff she went on about during the meeting?”
“Aye, I am,” Lachlan answered in the same tone one might use to confess to a particularly shameful act. “Do ye reckon she made it up to convince the unheated lasses to accept Tara’s scheme? Or mebbe she really thought I was that braw when we first met?”
My heart melted for Lachlan. While it probably wasn’t the most appropriate thought for me to have about my mate’s father, Lachlan was definitely silver foxin’ 300—Sean Connery, take a seat.
But unlike his son, it clearly had never occurred to Lachlan that he might be hot AF.
“Aye,” Magnus answered carefully, his voice sounding more than a little befuddled. “I reckon she thought you were braw enough, Da, or she wouldn’t have mated ye.”
“That’s just it, king of mine. We were two of the only wolves at that university and she went into heat on our first date. I always wondered if I had trapped her in a way since there weren’t many other male wolves for her to choose from. It never occurred to me she might have chosen me regardless of the circumstances.”
There was a moment of silence, and then Magnus asked, “Is that why you let ma go, Da? Because you thought she never really fancied you from the start?”
More silence. Then Lachlan sighed abruptly and said, “Well, here’s hoping this old back can still survive a night on the floor.”
“Night, Da,” Magnus answered.
A moment later, I heard my sister’s bedroom door open and close with two soft clicks. Several moments passed. But the door to my room remained shut.
I might have wondered if Magnus returned downstairs if I couldn’t smell and sense him on the other side of my door.
It took a while before he finally opened the door. And yet I still felt caught off guard. If I’d given it more thought, I could have dived into the bed and pretended to be asleep. But it was too late now.
Magnus flipped the switch to turn on the overhead propane light.
“Getting some reading in?” he asked with a nod toward my book.
“Yeah,” I answered. “Usually, I like tech thrillers but Milly recommended this one.”
“Tech thrillers,” he repeated as he closed the door. “You do seem fond of technology. I admit I am a little surprised at your career path considering your upbringing.”
I gave him a small shrug. “If your first time on a computer was when you were 18, and you discovered it held the answers to all the questions you’ve ever had … and then realized it could be made to do things like send messages and code software—well, you’d probably be just as enamored with technology as I am.”
“Aye, maybe you’re right,” he said, nodding thoughtfully. “Honestly, I have to take your word for it. Iain asked our mother to send away for a computer when he was six and he was programming by the time he was seven. But I hated it at first sight. Maybe because my brother was so obsessed with the damn thing. It seemed like a dodgy piece of black magic to me. And I still dunnae like the way technology sucks people in and excludes them from the real world right in front of them.”
He fits right in here, I thought with a shake of my head.
“I see. Well, I love computers,” I said, returning my eyes to my book. “I can’t imagine my life without them, so …”
Nothing was said for a little while. The silence went on so long, I was itching to look up from the book I was pretending to read. But I couldn’t.
I was actually wondering how long to wait before I should pretend to turn the page when he spoke again. “Tara, can you imagine your life without me?”
I stilled. I didn’t know why he would ask this or how to answer.
“Is that an option?” I asked, honestly curious to hear his response after he’d put so much effort into tracking me down.
His lips tightened, and I could feel his irritation at being asked a question as difficult to answer as his.
But then his face relaxed and he reset. “Tara, stand. Let your king look at you.”
I stood, recognizing the command in his voice. During our indoor babymoon, he’d sometimes go so far as to have me put on clothes, so he could have the pleasure of removing them. By the end of our time in Edinburgh, I’d felt bold enough to model for him, striking sexy poses that darkened his stone-colored eyes with desire.
But tonight, I could barely bring myself to rise from the rocking chair. And I could no longer imagine a world where I was comfortably able to meet his gaze, much less strike a purposefully lewd pose for him.
The small hiss of the room’s single propane light gave me just the excuse I needed to escape the command.
“Does it feel a little cold in here to you?” I said. “I’m just not used to managing without some form of central heating anymore. Let me go downstairs and turn up the stove. Or rather I can ask Naomi to do it since I’m still not allowed to touch the stove—that’s a funny story for another time. But the stove heats the whole house, so …”
I trailed off when Magnus stepped directly into my escape path. “Do you no longer trust your king to keep you warm?”
“Uh …” I said.
His expression sobered, and his gaze became serious. “This scheme you’ve come up with … is it meant to replace you? What I mean to say is, are you solving my problem so you can check me off your list without feeling any guilt? So you no longer have to deal with me?”
I was tempted to toss out my earlier “is that an option?” question. But Magnus sounded truly hurt, and he looked more than a little confused.
“No, Magnus. That is not why I did this.”
He tilted his head to the side and asked, “Then why are you suddenly finding it so verrae hard to look at me?”
“I’m not. I mean, I’m finding it hard to have you looking at me.”
I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. “You … you wear your origins with pride. But I never felt as if I fit in here.”
My eyes remained glued to the floor. “My parents are good, gentle people. So kind-hearted that they did not shun me when I decided to go to university. They taught and raised me well. But I never felt at home with them. I never felt as if this is where I belonged. And then I went off to university and discovered everything I’d been missing. I embraced my new life among the humans. It felt natural to me. And no one from my new life has ever seen me like this. Including Milly. I mean, our pack doesn’t believe in pictures, so …”
“So, I’m the first person from your other life to see you in your old costume,” he murmured.
I nodded, still unable to meet his eyes. “Having you look at me while I’m wearing what I used to every day as the old Tara … it … I don’t know. It makes me feel … weird. Vulnerable. More exposed than if I were standing before you naked.”
“You feel exposed and vulnerable,” he repeated. “Are you perhaps scared I will hurt you?”
I chewed at my lipstick-less bottom lip.
“No, that’s not it. It’s just…you’re my mate,” I pointed out a bit lamely. I knew I wasn’t making this easy for him to understand.
“Aye, I’m your mate. Are your frightened of your mate now, then?”
Again, I struggled to give voice to my feelings.
“Look at me, banrigh …”
My heart skipped several beats as I forced myself to make eye contact with him.
As soon as I did, Magnus cupped my face in his large hands and said, “Thank you. Thank you for coming back here to advocate for my kingdom.”
“It’s really not that big of a deal,” I mumbled. As it turned out, I blushed just as easily as my mother under my mate’s appreciative gaze and comments. I was just glad my skin was too dark for it to be noticeable in a room lit only by a single propane light.
“Ah, but it is a big deal,” he insisted. “You left this world behind. You never planned to return, did you? But you did. You faced down your past. For me. For my kingdom, which will be blessed with many births in the coming years if your plan works. No one has ever done me such a boon. And I am not sure if this lifetime will ever be enough to repay you. I am very much in your debt.”
“You’re welcome,” I answered, my voice hushed with the newness of it all…of him. I was not accustomed to this version of Magnus. The arrogant king had been replaced by a man who sounded as calm and sincere as my father.
“Now. I verrae much admire this bonnie dress of yours and I have no wish to bring it harm. I need your help.”
I was confused for a moment…but the way Magnus held my gaze, I soon understood exactly what he was getting at.
Tonight was different. We weren’t in Scotland anymore. And he wanted me to undress myself for him.
I reached up and began to unsnap the buttons on my dress with trembling hands. “It may look complicated but it’s really not that hard to figure out. Like the humans we descended from, we make our dresses very simple and purposefully plain. All you have to do is pull open the snap. And there are only, like, five.”
Magnus made a low appreciative sound, and he watched me unbutton every single snap as if I were performing a complex magic trick.
I was almost relieved when the dress was finally off and I was standing in my familiar pink Boux Avenue plunge bra and matching mesh panties. But then Magnus said, “Those, too. And the bonnet.”
“It’s actually a prayer covering,” I answered. “People get confused about it all the time. Bonnets are what we wear over our prayer coverings when we go outside.”
Instead of responding, Magnus undid the single oblong wood button on his heavy wool shawl-neck sweater and pulled it over his head, revealing a wicked Edinburgh Rovers exercise tee. “Now you,” he said.
With a small smile, I took out two bobby pins and removed my prayer covering, setting it carefully on the bedside dresser instead of letting it fall to the floor as I had the dress. There were just some habits I could not unlearn no matter how long I’d been gone from St. Ailbe.
Magnus removed his exercise tee, and his eyes darkened with desire when I opted to go topless, too.
Kilt and underwear. Socks and tights. Ghillie boots and practical black shoes. They all went into the growing pile on the braided rug until we stood naked in front of each other.
“This is the real us,” he said, his voice low and solemn. “Not where we come from. Not our titles or the clothes we wear for individual reasons.”
I nodded, feeling the truth of his words. And just like that, the anxious, self-conscious feeling that had been dogging me since Magnus showed up at the town meeting, suddenly disappeared.
“I don’t want to be chosen by your wolf or your human. I want you to choose me … all of you. So I ask ye again. Will ye choose me? Not just for your mate, but your king and your family?”
This time, I did not hesitate. There was no shyness, only a step forward as I pulled him down for a kiss.
We soon fell onto the bed, but Magnus didn’t take full control of our sex as he normally did.
“Claim your king now, lass,” he commanded, rolling me on top. “Now that I have your whole story, claim me as your whole self.”
Funny how good I’d become at taking orders over the last few days. I lifted and spread my legs wide before taking him in my hand.
I angled his large shaft, and we watched his throbbing erection enter me, stretching me wide as I slowly lowered myself onto him, inch by inch.
“Magnus …” I moaned when he was completely sheathed. My hips began rolling. “Oh … my goodness … Magnus.”
He let me use him in this fashion for a little while. But then his breath seized.
“Ah, feck this was a bad idea,” he rasped, his hands lifting to grip my hips. “I’m likely to come too fast at the sight of ye alone.”
However, Magnus didn’t look away and his voice became serious as he said, “Tell me your true heart, Tara. Tell me ye desire me as I desire ye.”
“I do. I do desire you,” I gasped.
His hands tightened suddenly on my hips, holding me still. “And the next time you have a notion to solve my kingdom’s problems better than I ever could, promise me you will not leave me to do it. Scream at me, punch me, stab me through with my own sword if ye must. Whatever it takes to get through this daft pride of mine. But don’t ever leave your king. Don’t ever leave me like that again.”
“I won’t,” I promised, my heart melting at his words. “You’re my mate. The father of our children … and besides that, I will kick your ass before I let you yell at me in public like that ever again.”
He responded with a low chuckle, his hands loosening on my hips as he guided us into a new rhythm. A good rhythm that I felt would set the melody for the rest of our life.
“Welcome home, Tara,” he said with an adoring gaze as he watched me move on top of him.
Somehow, I knew what he meant. This was all of me taking, claiming, choosing all of him. And now that I’d done so, I finally found someplace new. Somewhere I could always go. Somewhere I’d always fit in, whether I was dressed as the old me or Glamour or completely naked. I’d found someone to accept me exactly as I was for all that I was.
Home.
In Magnus, I’d found my true home.
“Welcome home, Magnus,” I answered, sensing he felt the exact same way I did.
Then the time for talking was over.
I bent forward, needing his mouth, and we kissed each other hello before taking a new trip to the stars.