2.

Wednesday. Finley’s Home, Seattle, Washington.

Merida paced around Finley’s living room. It was warmer on his side of the duplex than hers, but normally she’d be sweating at his place. She feared the heating units were on their last legs. At least she was getting feeling in her toes again.

Part of her wanted to curl up on his sofa and use the fuzzy blanket she’d left at his place. Ignoring everything else would be a welcome respite. Already Melody had sent her a dozen messages about the ring and how surprised she was.

Merida paced the width of the living room.

She couldn’t just sit down and forget everything. That wasn’t like her.

Besides, Melody would keep texting which meant Merida was going to continue to wallow in her feelings of self-pity all while Finley was right there. So close and yet out of reach.

Their friendship wasn’t working. Nothing in her life was working right now.

Not her friendship with Melody and sure as hell not her friendship with Finley.

She shouldn’t have come over here, but he’d used that tone. The authoritative one that she secretly loved. For some reason when he said things all bossy like her insides melted and she gave in. Not often, but it was a guilty pleasure.

She stalked back to where her phone was charging. There was still no answer from their landlord. No surprise there. She did have several other messages in various group chats she was part of, none of them urgent at least. Too bad muting some of them didn’t hide them.

Merida sighed and decided to ignore the half dozen group chats she was in with various girlfriends and wives of the men who worked for Aegis Group. For some reason the guys all seemed to settle down with truly amazing women, which in turn enriched her life with wonderful people to call friend.

Except around holidays when everyone else was talking about romantic get aways, getting engaged, making babies, holidays celebrating some new milestone. It only drove home how alone she was.

The one chat she didn’t ignore was her Dangerous Ladies group. Those girls never failed to make Merida smile.

While Aegis Group was known for a few things, hostage rescue being one of their hallmarks, they also did a variety of other security services. One of their smallest lines of business was their full-time security detail work, and smaller still were their female operative full-time details. Zain demanded a lot from the people they would place in the homes of their clients. Not many passed muster, but those who did were a special breed of person. And the women who fit the bill were even rarer. Currently there were five women on the roster with a waiting list for when they found more.

Merida skimmed the messages. While they all agreed that the chat was an off-hours thing, she couldn’t turn the work part of her brain off. One of the women was packing up to accompany her client to Malta. Another was en route to Switzerland with her client for holiday skiing. She chuckled as she read over the collective grumbling over security concerns and how hard it was to keep tabs on clients decked out in snow gear.

She tapped out her own moaning reply and sent it to the group.

Came home to no heat and a flooded house. Guess who is going to get to sleep at the office tonight... #thisgirl

Immediately little dots appeared at the bottom of the screen indicating at least one person was replying.

Ivy: Um, what about #sexyneighbor?

Haley: Call the hunky guy next door!

Merida groaned, powered off the screen and buried her face against her folded arms.

She should have never allowed herself to get tipsy and message. For one, it wasn’t professional. Despite their friendship, Merida was still occasionally in charge of issuing orders to the women. And second, she didn’t need anyone else knowing about her pining away for a man who only saw her as one of the guys. She’d liked it much better when no one else knew her secret.

Then again she also liked having people who could appreciate her sneaky snapshots of Finley.

The front door opened and shut with a bang. She winced, picked up her head and peered toward the entry.

“Get me a towel, will you?” Finley asked her standing on the matt just inside the door.

“How bad was it?” She hustled down the hall to the linen closet and grabbed a ratty towel. One of the ones set aside for post-work clean-up. It was tattered and had grease stains, so it didn’t matter if it got mud or whatever else on it now.

He took the towel from her and wiped his boots off then eased his feet out of them. “Biggest damage is going to be to the kitchen. I think the cabinets are pretty soaked and being particle board, well... None of your stuff appears wet though. I did move the dining table and chairs into the middle of the living room so they’re safe.”

“Landlord isn’t answering.”

Finley grunted his reply.

She covered her face again with her hands.

Like she needed this on top of the rest of her week.

“It’s going to be okay.” He was standing right next to her. She hadn’t heard him move.

“It’s just one more thing.” She massaged her temples.

“What else is happening?” He leaned an elbow against the counter. He stood close enough they almost touched. If he were anyone else, this would be far too close, but it was him and his presence comforted her.

“What isn’t?” She groaned. “I told Zain I could hold down the fort so he could actually go see his family over the holidays. Most of them haven’t seen his wife since the wedding, the rest haven’t even met her. Now it just seems like everything is going wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just—everything. I have a team stranded in Atlanta. I’ve spent the whole day on the phone to three different embassies trying to get a client home with all the proper allowances. Then the building manager tells me today they need to put in new fiber optic cabling because of some accident. It doesn’t affect us, but it does mean I need more people on site over the holidays for the install because of security concerns. I’ve got two wives up my ass about their husband’s schedules, which is so not my fault. They didn’t tell their wives. That’s not on me, but I have to smooth it over. And there’s more. This was just what I spent my afternoon working on.”

“Come here.” Finley tugged on her arm.

She closed her eyes and didn’t budge.

He was going to hug her. One of those tight, let me help you hugs. She wasn’t strong enough for this right now. She’d had a rough day and the rest of the week was going to be just as tough until they were through the New Year.

Finley tugged on her again, only this time there was no ignoring him. He was just too darn strong and she didn’t honestly want to resist him.

He gathered her into his arms and turned her so she had him on one side and the kitchen counter on the other. He knew just how tight to squeeze. It felt like he was holding her together so she didn’t have to.

Merida gave in, closed her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder.

Most of the time she did just fine on her own. But there were days where she wanted to come home to someone who would listen to her, have her back and let her lean on their shoulder. For a while she’d been content with her friendship with Finley being just that. But the truth was she wanted more. For herself.

Watching all the guys at work settle down and move on to new chapters in their lives made her want the same thing.

She could pinpoint the change.

Back during the summer she’d gone to South Africa to see one of their guys marry his sweetheart. The whole trip had left her off-kilter. She’d spent so long alone because that was what worked. But now she could have more, only the more she wanted wasn’t a more she could have.

Finley’s fingers pressed into the tense muscles across her shoulders, finding them with ease.

Why did he have to be her neighbor?

Why did he have to be her best friend?

She breathed in a deep breath of man and soap. Every day he showered at the garage before heading home. He was meticulous about cleanliness. How many times had she watched him clean his nails because he didn’t like even that bit of grime?

Slowly her muscles turned to goo. Bit by bit his touch relaxed her. She knew the hug was stretching on ridiculously long, way past acceptable friendly lengths. It just felt too good to have him there with his arms around her.

A buzzing sound penetrated the fog. She hauled her brain back to reality long enough to classify the notification sound.

The chat messenger.

The other girls were likely chiming in.

Well, she didn’t want their feedback. She knew what they’d say.

Go for it.

It was easy for them. Their female team members rarely got to stay in one place for long. If they didn’t seize the moment, they didn’t get what they wanted. And they were experts at getting what they wanted.

“You need to get that?”

With her ear pressed to his chest his voice was a deep rumble she not only heard, but felt. The vibrations seemed to sink into her bones, making every cell in her body aware of him.

Yeah, this needed to stop.

“No,” she replied and picked up her head, opening her eyes.

She froze.

Finley’s face was so close to her own. She could see tiny scars on the left side of his face, scars that weren’t usually easy to see. His gaze was focused on hers, all that alpha man, I’ll take care of everything, staring back at her.

And she wanted to let him take care of her. But not in the way he meant. Not in the way she wanted.

This had to stop. Pining over the one man she couldn’t have was doing her more harm than good. This just wasn’t working.

After Christmas she was moving. It would be easy to blame it on all the problems with the house. No one would fault her. But in reality, she’d move to get away from him. From this attraction that kept her up at night, frustrated beyond belief.

She leaned away from him, only to find herself trapped between him and the kitchen counter.

Finley didn’t move. His hands and body had her caged while he simply watched her.

Did he know? Did he have any idea how she felt about him?

She wanted to kiss him like she had a thousand times in her dreams.

He tucked a bit of errant hair behind her ear. In her mind that was a gentle caress, a gesture that meant more than her hair had gone crazy frizzy in this rain.

“Merida?”

Was it her imagination or was his voice rougher than normal?

“Hm?” She wasn’t doing a great job using words at the moment.

“I need to tell you something.”

Her heart did painful flip-flops in her chest.

The intense way he stared at her made her fear the next words out of his mouth. Whatever they were, that wrinkle at the corner of his mouth made her think she wasn’t going to like it.

“Can it wait?” Her gaze dropped to his mouth.

She couldn’t keep being friends, no matter how much he’d grown to be an integral part of her life. She just couldn’t keep doing this. It was torture and unfair to him, because some day he was going to break her heart and not know it.

Merida knew she’d already made up her mind. A thrill of excitement shot through her, giving her the last little oomph she needed to take what she wanted.

She leaned in, closing that inch or so of space and kissed him. The first touch was electrifying. A jolt of sensation shot through her, making it feel as though she’d never truly been more alive and awake than she was right now. She moved her lips, exploring him.

This was likely her only chance to ever have this, however brief this dream was.

Finley’s hand cupped her face.

She squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to draw the dream out, to pretend he was holding her.

And then his lips moved and his fingers curled into her hair. He didn’t pull away, he kissed her back. He tugged on her hair, tilting her face to the side. His tongue teased her.

Merida’s heart pounded. What was going on? Had she passed out? Was this a dream?

If it was, she didn’t want it to stop. If she was passed out on the floor, may she live forever in this happy bubble of her mind.

Finley’s knee pushed between hers, his thigh forcing her legs apart a bit. She sucked in air and clung to his shoulders. Her whole body seemed to pulse with need for him. For ages she’d harbored this crush, wanting him, and now it was everything she could do to get closer, drink him in.

He sucked her lower lip between his. She gasped as she felt the sensation lower in her body. He seemed to know, to sense what she needed and rocked against her, his muscular thigh rubbing her through the yoga pants she’d thrown on. His hand boldly cupped her ass, urging her closer.

She could touch him in a way she’d never been able to.

Her hands ached from clenching his shirt too tightly. While he kept making love to her mouth she let go of the worn fabric with one hand and smoothed it down his chest, feeling the ridges of muscle she’d seen, but never touched.

Finley’s hand squeezed her ass. It was a possessive, masculine touch that had her knees going weak.

If this was a dream she didn’t want it to stop. If this was some weird reality where Finley was attracted to her she wanted to stay here.

“Merida,” Finley said against her mouth.

Inwardly she screamed. He could not start talking now. If he did, this would stop. She didn’t want that.

“Sh.” She kissed him again, her mind racing to figure out how to stall talking.

He leaned against her, and sweet Jesus she felt the hard line of his erection.

This was the fantasy she’d always wanted. As shitty as her holiday was shaping up to be, she wanted this to continue.

Finley eased away from her a bit. She kept her gaze on his mouth. Right then she couldn’t look at his eyes. She feared what she’d see.

How did she get him to stop talking?

He took a deep breath, as if fortifying himself. “I really think...”

Merida reached down, grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it and her bralette off in one go. She let both drop to the floor.

The sound of the fabric hitting the carpet was the loudest thing in the room.

Her heated flesh pebbled with no barrier against the coolness of Finley’s house.

She swallowed and tipped her chin up to look at him, unsure what she’d see looking back at her, but she’d blown way past any going back point.

Finley stared at her breasts with wide eyes and parted lips. He looked both shocked and hungry. Her nipples tightened and her breasts felt heavy as they stood there, frozen in the moment.

No going back.

She’d taken control and she had to keep it.

Merida reached out and grabbed a handful of his shirt. She yanked it, making him rock forward into her. His pale green eyes had deepened. He glanced up, their gazes locking and her breath caught.

He was looking at her like a man who wanted to fuck. Like she was desirable. She’d always wanted him to look at her that way.

She went up on tiptoes and kissed him, soaking up his warmth, the feel of him. His arms tightened on her, stroking up her back then down to her ass. Both of his hands gripped her, almost lifting her off her feet. He walked backwards, taking her with him all while his tongue thrust into her mouth.

Merida had no choice but to hold onto him. The kiss from before was tame compared to this.

All of a sudden Finley turned. She clung to his shoulders, her mind doing topsy-turvy things. One of his hands rose, pressing to the small of her back. Her calf hit the sofa and then she was falling.

Falling wasn’t an accurate word.

No, Finley eased her down on the sofa, the worn cushions cradling her. And then his weight pressed her down further, trapping her exactly where she wanted to be. She wound her fingers through his hair and kissed him deeper as he rocked against her.

She needed so much more.

Merida grasped his thin T-shirt and pulled it up to his shoulders. Finley broke the kiss long enough for her to pull it off one arm then the other. She would have pulled it off completely except he’d begun kissing her neck, scrambling her thoughts.

She turned her head so the cushion would muffle the moans while his lips teased her.

One hand cupped her breast and her spine arched. She gasped for breath and found herself staring up into Finley’s eyes. He grinned wolfishly before ducking his head and wrapping his lips around one nipple. She just about screamed when he sucked.

Merida’s whole body needed him. She’d wanted and dreamed for so long, the reality of his mouth and hands on her was almost too much for her.

His tongue flicked the nub of her nipple back and forth. Arousal dampened her panties as he continued to explore her. She touched everything in reach, but it wasn’t enough.

They were still wearing far too many clothes.

She grabbed the shirt around his neck and pulled him up her body. He came reluctantly, at his own pace, but eventually his lips met hers again.

Merida needed him now. She couldn’t stand more touching or teasing, she was already wet for him.

Finley nipped and suckled at her lips making her heart flutter. She’d always thought he’d be the type of guy who just dove in. She hadn’t been prepared for this, the teasing. It was far too much.

She reached between them and stroked his cock through his jeans. His whole body tightened then shuddered. She grinned against his cheek and wiggled her hand past his jeans and boxers. It was a tight fit, but she palmed the velvety skin of his erection, luxuriating in how that touch affected him.

He shuddered again and buried his face against her shoulder. His fingers brushed her wrist, but instead of pulling her away, he unfastened his jeans, allowing her to have more freedom.

She wrapped her hand around him and stroked, mapping his length and girth, not the least bit disappointed with what she found. Like the rest of him, he was big.

“God damn,” he muttered, barely audible.

“Finley?” She turned her head so she spoke into his ear. “I think you should be naked.”

He didn’t respond. At least not with words.

Instead he pushed up, his eyes and hair wild, and pulled away from her.

She let go of him and watched him straighten with a little difficulty.

He wasn’t unaffected.

Merida bit her lip, hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her yoga pants and pushed them down her hips.

Finley’s cheeks sank in and he watched her expose her hip bones then a little more.

With an inhuman growl he shoved his clothes off in a flurry of movement. She caught his energy, divesting herself of her clothes until she lay on his sofa naked.

How many evenings had she spent on this sofa with him?

Too many to count.

She watched him, mesmerized by how the lights played across his skin. She’d never been more grateful that she’d bullied him into putting up the Christmas tree than she was right now.

He rolled on a condom she hadn’t seen him get. Right about then she wasn’t terribly picky about the particulars.

Finley glanced at her and his eyes widened.

For a moment they just stared at each other.

His body was honed and scared. Tattoos on his biceps and shoulders memorialized his life’s trials and people who’d passed. She knew there were more on his back and calves. He was so much more than what he appeared and right now he was everything she wanted.

Merida sat up and took his hand, tugging him to her.

He planted one knee on the cushion between her legs then leaned forward, bracing himself over her. His eyes searched her face. She could see his brain starting to catch up.

She didn’t want words right now. What she wanted was him.

Before Finley could say something, she grasped his hair and tugged him down for a hungry kiss. One nip and she felt the muscles in his body tighten. She almost grinned.

Fingers stroked her. She gasped, not prepared for the touch. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and his fingers into her pussy effectively cutting off all intelligent thought. And then it wasn’t his fingers.

The blunt head of his cock pressed against her. He broke the kiss, looking down at her as he eased into her. She knew it was her imagination, but she could have sworn looking into his eyes that he was feeling something, too. Something deeper than this pleasure.

He thrust without warning. She gasped and clutched him, her vision going blurry for a moment. He didn’t give her a chance to catch her breath, he thrust again, his cock working deeper. It didn’t hurt. She was too aroused for that. But he was bigger and it had been an awfully long time since she’d been with anyone except her vibrator.

She held onto him, losing herself in the feel of his body against hers, the way he filled her, surrounded her. Even the way the wiry hair of his chest tickled her nipples. She kissed every bit of skin she could reach. His face, his neck and shoulders.

Merida closed her eyes and lifted her hips. This was the fantasy, what she’d wanted, and it was everything she’d hoped for and more.

Finley captured one of her hands, threaded their fingers together and held it up over her head. He pushed up and stared down at her, like she was his whole world, like this was where she belonged.

That feeling of rightness hit her, causing her stomach to tighten.

He groaned and his lids lowered. She gasped as he thrust harder, sending spirals of pleasure through her.

She lifted her hips, meeting his thrusts, all too aware that she was rushing toward something when she wanted to savor it.

Finley gripped her hand tighter and shifted, sliding into her at a different angle. His public bone rubbed hers just right and her vision went all blurry.

She gripped his bicep and opened her mouth to say something, but he kissed her instead. She whimpered and held tight as her body felt as though it were drawn tight.

Merida broke the kiss, tossed her head back and moaned as pleasure so deep rippled through her. Between the unintentional abstinence and pining for him, the orgasm felt ten thousand times more intense, wringing her senses dry.

He shoved an arm under her back, holding her there as his movements became harder, needier. He kissed her mouth and held tight to her as he pumped into her, taking his own pleasure now.

And then he froze, body tight, face buried in her hair.

Merida held him close to her and watched the multicolored lights twinkling on the tree. This was the one thing she thought she’d never have.

She didn’t really have Finley though. They’d had sex. Great sex, but it was just sex.

No. Stop that.

She shoved that thought aside and instead focused on him, committing the way he felt and smelled to memory, because after this she had no choice but to move.

The idea made her eyes prickle with tears. She blinked rapidly, doing her best to dispel them. The last thing she needed was to cry again in front of him. Once was enough.

Finley tuned his head, brushing her collarbone with a kiss. She shivered and stroked his shoulder.

Now what? What were the post-sex rules for sleeping with your friend?

So much for wallowing in the afterglow.

Finley shifted a bit, but made no move away from her.

Sweat cooled her to the point that she was a tad bit chilly despite his body heat.

What the hell was she going to say to him after this?

A chime sounded from across the room. A very important chime she almost cheered to hear.

Her work notifications.

Finley picked his head up and glanced over his shoulder with a scowl.

“It’s work. I really have to get that,” she said, not as apologetic as she sounded.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll, um, go clean up.”

He pushed up, the loss of him sending goose bumps up and down her limbs. She hissed when he pulled out of her and shut her eyes, pressing her thighs together. By the time she opened her eyes, he was gone and she had point five seconds to make it to her phone.