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Thursday. Bed and Breakfast, Seattle, Washington.
Finley rolled over, putting his back toward the window on his side of the bed.
He wasn’t ready to be awake yet. He’d slept maybe four hours, probably not even that, and he wasn’t keen on being awake yet. Especially when awake meant he would need to figure out what he was going to say to Merida.
Despite telling himself to go the hell back to sleep he cracked one eye open. Just one. He wanted to steal a glimpse of Merida relaxed and asleep. Last night he’d passed out before she’d come to bed and woken up swathed in darkness. He’d wanted to reach out and touch her, make sure she was really there, but he hadn’t been willing to wake her.
Instead, he saw rumpled sheets and a pillow with a head-sized divot in it.
He sat up, going from groggy to awake in seconds.
Those men.
Had they been working alone?
Were there more?
Had they come for Merida?
And that was when he heard it. The soft sound of water from the bathroom.
She was safe—and taking a shower.
There was no going to bed after an adrenaline surge like this.
He swung his legs out of bed and flexed his toes. Pain shot up his left calf but he ignored it. The graze wasn’t as bad as it looked, but he was still careful putting weight on the leg as he got to his feet.
Finley peered out of the bedroom window on the backyard.
Nothing was out of the ordinary.
He didn’t know what last night was about or if the danger had passed. That was half of the reason he’d wanted to keep close to Merida. The rest was all selfish.
They hadn’t touched. He hadn’t held her. But she’d been there. On the other side of the mattress.
It felt like they were each holding their breath. He’d have liked to talk last night, but they’d both been about to drop. In the end sleep seemed the wiser option.
He crossed the bedroom pausing at the door only to flip on the switch that fed the fireplace. Merida had seemed fascinated last night. Maybe she’d like a fire this morning? It was chilly enough to need it.
Finley took another step and he was in the small hall. If it could be called that. He braced his hands on the doorframe of the bathroom and stared. Normally he tried not to, but he was done hiding his attraction to her. She’d kissed him. She’d pushed for sex over talking. He didn’t want to walk that back or settle for something else.
He wanted what he wanted.
Her.
Merida scrubbed at her face with one of the washcloths. She hadn’t yet noticed him, which was nice.
She must have been up for a while. Her hair was wet, likely from a shower and she’d changed into a pair of yoga pants and a thermal long-sleeved shirt with snowflakes on it. She swiped the rag down her neck.
Their eyes locked in the mirror and she froze.
“Morning,” he said, his voice rougher than he’d have liked. Too rough. He needed to be smooth.
What the hell was he thinking?
He was a mechanic.
She worked security on a global scale.
“I’m almost done in here and I’ll be out of your way,” she said.
“Take your time.” He let go of the doorframe. This morning he’d move to the other bedroom.
He was an idiot. This was why he’d never made a move before. He’d realized how mismatched they were. She deserved better. More than him. Someone who could have handled last night better. He was sure he’d done a dozen things wrong, he just couldn’t get around her.
Merida washed her hands then draped the rag over a bar.
Was it too late to go back to their corners?
She turned toward him, but didn’t look at him. Not his eyes at least. She stared at his chest. His hear took a sprinting leap at his ribs.
He loved her so much it hurt.
Did he really think they could go back? Did he want to? But how could they go forward?
If only life were as simple as the quiet moments last night. When they were a team. Because that he understood. He and Merida balanced each other. They worked well together and he wanted to keep doing that. But not in a combat situation. That part of his life was done. Sure, he’d protect what was his, but that was different. That was an emergency. Not his normal.
Finley took a step toward her. He had to or else his heart was going to break a rib. One step became two and then Merida was there. He slid an arm around her waist. The slightest pressure had her leaning into him and her arms wrapping around his shoulders. She buried her face against his good shoulder, but didn’t squeeze. No, he did that, holding her as tight as he dared. Which wasn’t very tight. They were both a mass of bruises, cuts and wounds. The best stocking stuffer would be wound care gel this year.
He turned his head a bit and breathed in the smell of her shampoo and soap. In that moment he was glad she’d packed her whole house. The normalcy of her scent and feel chased away some of the worry and deep down he knew that for every reason he had why this wouldn’t work there were at least two why it had to. And it began with one simple fact.
He loved her.
Finley stroked his hand down her back and stared at their reflection in the mirror, how she fit against him with her head just under his chin.
“Merida?”
“Hm?”
“We need to talk—”
“Do we have to?” she whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear.
He pulled back just enough to look down at her. “Yes.”
She leaned against the vanity. “Okay.”
He caught her hands before she got away from him completely. “I think we need to talk about last night. Before we went to your office.”
She shifted from foot to foot and once more looked at his chest instead of his face. “Things got out of hand...”
“Did they?” He braced his hand on the vanity and leaned down so she had no choice but to look at him.
Under normal circumstances she had an excellent poker face. It was one of the reasons he’d never known if he should make a move. She never let anything slip. But she had, and he’d gotten a glimpse behind the mask.
She’d wanted him, and never once when he’d kissed her since then had she turned away from him. That gave him hope to go out on a limb.
“I don’t think things got out of hand. I think we’ve been playing at friends for too long when we both want something more.” He began to sweat despite the chill. God, he hoped she wanted the same thing he did. “I want more.”
Her head snapped up and she stared at him, her eyes so large and dark he could have lost himself in them.
He licked his lips and kept going. “It’s been damn confusing. Part of me wants you. The other part of me doesn’t want to lose what we have. You’re important to me, Merida. You know that, right? I’d die for you.”
“I don’t want you to die for me,” she blurted and he realized she was shaking.
He grasped her by the shoulders and slid his hands up and down. “Hey, it’s okay.”
She sucked down air and leaned into him again so their bodies almost touched. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You haven’t. You won’t.”
“I’m a mess, Fin...”
“I don’t care. I’m a mechanic. You run point for a global security firm doing God only knows what.”
She frowned up at him. “Why does that matter? I like that you’re a mechanic. My dad retired so he could work on cars. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
The defensive notes in her tone made him smile.
He didn’t care if she was a mess, whatever that meant. And she didn’t care if he was just a mechanic. What she wasn’t doing was denying the fact that they both wanted something more.
Finley slid his fingers along her face. He hated all the scratches, but he loved how strong she’d been. How she’d fought to survive. He’d learned a lot about the kind of woman she was under all of that. Merida wasn’t someone who ran when things got tough. She rolled up her sleeves and waded farther in. That was the kind of partner he wanted in life.
“I’m in love with you, Merida,” he whispered.
She blinked and her lips parted.
It wasn’t what he’d planned on saying it just seemed like the right thing to go with.
Honesty.
He loved her.
They’d spent a lot of time together. They knew each other inside and out. In many ways they’d been in a relationship without the physical aspect. He sure as hell only had eyes for her. The only thing that mattered now was what happened next.
“Fin... I...”
“If I could go back, I think... I’d slow things down last night. I’d have told you before we got hot and heavy so you knew what you were in for when—”
“Will you shut up?” She huffed and glared at him. “Can a girl get a single word out?”
He couldn’t help but laugh and tug her closer.
Merida stared up at him, serious now.
“I think I’ve been in love with you since the day you crawled into that manhole to save the baby ducks.”
Finley opened his mouth then closed it.
He vaguely remembered that, only because he’d ruined his boots.
Merida had only been his neighbor for a few weeks at that point, and she’d already been in love with him?
“We hadn’t even spoken,” he said.
She shrugged. “I’m sorry, were you expecting rational?”
He held onto the automatic answer of, Yes.
Finley wanted her to be irrationally in love with him. Crazy, madly, deeply. He wasn’t going to question how or when. If it was baby ducks or the first oil change, he’d take it. Because it meant she was in love with him, too.
Merida went up on tip-toe and kissed him.
That was something he would never get tired of. He framed her face with his hands and leaned into her, sinking into the kiss and exploring her mouth.
“So you love me?” Merida asked, her words half muffled by his kisses.
“Yes.” There was a thrilling freedom and a need that came with that admission.
“Mm.”
She smiled into the kiss now.
Her warm hands slid under his shirt, her gentle touch skimming his skin. He caught her by the wrist.
“I still need to shower,” he said, his lips caressing hers as he spoke.
“That’s a very good idea.” She nudged him backward. “With all those bandages someone is going to have to help you, anyway.”
“Merida...” He wasn’t sure what he was going to say or what he should say.
In the next moment she swept her shirt off. That seemed to be her go to move, and he’d be hard pressed to say he didn’t like it. Especially when she wasn’t wearing a bra under her shirt.
“What?” She grinned at him.
“You already showered.” He took another step back.
“You noticed?”
“We aren’t done talking.” There were things they should say, damn it.
She went up on tip-toe, the points of her breasts pressing through his thin T-shirt, and kissed him. He splayed his hands against her back, holding her there while her tongue stroked his.
Stroking.
That was an awfully good idea.
He slid his hand down and cupped her ass. It was every bit as firm as it looked.
She tugged his shirt up to his armpits, but it could go no further. He quite liked where he had his hands. He’d also like for them both to wear less clothing.
He let go of her even though he didn’t want to.
Merida dragged his shirt up and over his head. It took a little bit of work on both their parts. His shoulder was stiff after not having moved it for a few hours and the pain reminded him that these moments were special, because they could have never happened.
She dropped the shirt into a pile of her clothes on the tile and stepped close again. Her hand pressed against his chest, just over his heart, and she kissed his collar bone.
Today was about being alive. Every bullet shot last night was a missed encounter with death. They’d pulled it off, somehow, and he intended to cherish what he had. What they had.
Merida pulled the clip from her hair. The wet locks tumbled around her shoulders. One side of her mouth hiked up as she hooked her thumbs in her pants and shoved them down. He watched in fascination as her skin pebbled. She shivered and pulled the bathroom door shut, showing more presence of mind than he had.
“You aren’t even going to ask if I’m serious? If I’m just saying this to get in your pants?” he asked.
She snorted and strolled the few steps toward him. “You ran around a building full of people trying to kill us. I think that’s proof enough for me. Anything else you want to talk about?”
He watched her saunter past into the glass walled shower, hips rolling.
“No. I guess not,” he said.
Merida turned on the water then faced him and crooked a finger. “Come here.”
Finley took one step before he remembered the very important fact that he was still wearing pants. Sweatpants. But still pants.
He shoved pants and boxers down and stepped out of them, conscious of his morning wood.
One side of her mouth hiked a bit higher.
He stepped into the shower and let the door close behind him.
Merida hooked her fingers in his and pulled him under the warm water. Her touch was gentle as she swiped a washrag over his body, cleaning the dried blood and dust from him. He wished he’d have woken up earlier so he could have done the same for her. Last night was just something he’d survived. It was far more personal for her. She’d left the Navy to work for Aegis Group. From what he could tell it was her whole life, save for the time they spent together.
A had wrapped around his cock. He sucked in a breath and glanced over his shoulder. Merida kissed his bicep as her hand slowly pumped his length.
“What? I’m just being thorough.” Her smile grew with every word.
He quirked a brow at her. “Thorough?”
“Yes.” She nimbly stepped around him. The water and damp air had her hair sticking to her skin again.
Merida’s hand tightened as she stroked him from the base of his shaft to the head. He had to close his eyes. Before last night he’d only known his own had for so long. Another person’s touch—her touch—was near intoxicating.
“I think...” There was a note of mischief in Merida’s voice. “You should sit.”
She nudged him backward with a hand to the middle of his chest. He took one step and ran into the cool stone of a bench.
“What are you doing?” He grasped her wrist and narrowed her gaze.
“Oh, come on. Let a girl live out a little fantasy, won’t you?”
He opened his mouth to reply, but he knew he was done for. Whatever she wanted he’d do. He’d lived harboring a love he didn’t think she shared. To find out she loved him back left him reeling in a good way. He just wasn’t prepared for how to deal with it.
“What does this fantasy entail? Hm?” He eased down, his muscles loser now that they’d warmed up.
“Hm.” Her eyes trailed down his body to his cock again. Her fingers stroked up the erect length of him then back down. “I’ll let you know as it comes to me.”
He leaned forward. Two could play this touch and tease game, but she stopped him with a finger across his lips.
“Oh, no you don’t.” She grinned at him. “You just sit there.”
“Whose fantasy is this supposed to be?”
“Are you complaining right now?”
He opened his mouth then thought better of his words. “Nope. Do whatever you want.”
“That’s a much better answer, Marine.”
Merida lowered herself to her knees, hands braced on his thighs. He stared at her, hardly believing this was reality. Twenty minutes ago at most he’d been in bed wondering if he’d lose his best friend. Now he could hardly believe his eyes.
She bent her head, her lips wrapping around his cock. Reality came back into sharp focus. He sucked in a deep breath.
Damn, but he was so fucking close and she’d barely touched him. Celibacy was hell and her mouth heaven.
“Merida? Merida, babe...”
She ignored him, doing exactly as she wanted. Like she always did. Because that was Merida.
Without realizing it, he dug his hand into her wet hair. The strands wrapped around his fingers didn’t give him control. It wasn’t like that with Merida.
Her tongue rubbed the underside of his cock as she rose, her head tilting a bit so she could look up at him.
Finley swallowed a curse. She looked so damn pleased with herself.
He fucking loved this woman.
Merida gave to everyone. She was a team player, holding the line and backing up her people. He was damn proud to have been that for her even just once in the field, but more than that he wanted to be her teammate for life.
He pushed on the back of her head, not hard, just enough to urge her on. Her lips curled around him and he thought she smiled as she took him back in, all the way until he bumped the back of her throat.
“Fuck,” he muttered and leaned against the shower wall.
Merida let him pull on her hair, guiding her at a pace that worked for him. But he wanted more control. This time he lifted his hips. Her eyes widened a bit, but she worked with him, bracing her hands on the bench and shifting.
That was when she looked at him. The look seemed to urge him on. So he thrust into her mouth, keeping it easy. He was so wrapped up in the spell of her touch and the moment his orgasm almost too him by surprise.
“Merida!”
Finley yanked on her hair a moment before pleasure rippled through him. He shuddered, palming his cock as his mind focused on the one fact he knew he’d never shake.
He loved Merida, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
A hand slid up his chest.
He glanced at her swollen lips curved in a smile.
God, she was beautiful.
He bent and kissed her, tasting himself on her tongue.
“For the future, it’s perfectly okay to do a little hair pulling,” she said.
“Was it too hard?” He leaned back so he could see her face.
“I’m sorry, did you think you were pulling my hair? Maybe there at the end.” She snickered. “Remember, I grew up a tomboy. You’ll have to do better.”
“Noted.” He drew in an easier breath.
A shrill ring from the bedroom broke the moment.
Merida’s body went tense and she glanced over her shoulder.
Finley knew that sound.
It was her work calling.
She winced and glanced at him.
He kissed her cheek. “Go, save the world.”
“It’s probably Zain. Sorry.” She pushed to her feet and stepped under the spray, washing his seed off her thighs.
“Go.” He leaned forward, content to watch her. “It’s fine.”
She might work for Zain, but she loved him. And that was something Finley could live with. For years he’d been the one heading off on dangerous work. Now the roles were switched to some extent, and he intended to do the job justice.
Merida was his to look after, to care for and love. Openly. There was no more hiding it.
