CHAPTER 9

ALL ENDS IF NOT ALWAYS VERY WELL

The staff had already renovated the Cheshire Cat’s room. The room had no light of its own, so the back half was in darkness. The little light that did get in from the corridor showed Alice and Jackson that the walls had been moved in and ceiling lowered. It was tiny.

“Cheshire, dear friend?”

“Mayor Jackson?” came a familiar voice from the darkness.

Out of the gloom slowly floated a face Alice had not seen for years. She had indeed talked to the Cheshire Cat on the telephone but had no idea that he was shut up in a dungeon. She recognised his broad feline face despite his fur being dirty and bedraggled. He was much older too as his grey whiskers testified. Despite his age and condition, his white teeth beamed in a familiar grin and his eyes, though bloodshot, were as big as ever. Of his body there was no sign but this did not alarm Alice. She was sure it would appear when it was ready.

“Alice!” cried the Cheshire Cat. “Am I glad to see you!”

Alice ran and gave the Cheshire Cat’s large head a long hug. He smelled bad.

“Why did they shut you up like this?” cried Alice, angrily.

“Because I asked them too. As I’m sure you remember, Alice, I have a habit of losing my body now and then, also some other bits. I’m used to it. Sometimes, I lose everything but my grin. But one day, when I noticed that I was also losing my mind I couldn’t bear it. It was so degrading. So I must have asked them to keep me in this room. I asked for a telephone so I could talk to people on those occasions when my mind was all there. Here, I mean.”

“Poor Cheshire,” said Alice, her arms around his shaggy head.

“When I learned you were in Wonderland,” he continued, “I wanted to talk to you. I knew that you would try to help us and I wanted Wonderland to help you at the same time. I suspected the two might be connected and I was right.”

“I wish you were right. But I’m no closer to getting home.”

“Well that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. You are. You see, the road doesn’t go on for much longer. It ends in the sea. And as you don’t want to retrace your steps to the beginning of the road, you’ll have to go on to the end. So it stands to reason that the end is exactly where you’ll find the start of the way back to your world.”

“Why do you believe that?” said Jackson. “There are other towns and villages in Wonderland. So there must be countless roads Alice could take.”

“Have you seen them? I’m not so sure there are. Seeing is believing, you know.”

“You don’t always have to see things to know they are there,” chimed in Alice. “How about your body, tail and legs? I can’t see them now but I know they exist.”

“But that’s just it, Alice. At this precise moment they don’t exist. Only my head exists. Just like at this exact moment, only this room and corridor and the three of us exist. No other rooms, no Banbury, no other towns. Nothing else exists and you have no reason to believe it does.”

“Then how am I to believe that there is a road I cannot see and it will take me home?”

“You don’t have to believe. But you can hope. That’s a very different prospect. Sometimes it’s all we have. And hope is more powerful than belief because it leaves the door open to many more options.”

“If it were not for hope, the heart would break,” said Jackson.

“Exactly,” said Cheshire. “I have no reason to believe I will ever see my ears again but I hope something changes so that I will.”

“Like someone gives you a mirror?” suggested Alice.

“Now you’ve got it!”

Alice wasn’t at all sure she had it. Her parents were constantly telling her to believe in herself. They never mentioned hoping in herself. On the other hand, she had no reason to believe they were right and rather hoped they weren’t.

One thing that Alice did believe was that she was good at thinking on her feet. To be honest, she didn’t see how it was much different from thinking while sitting down, which she could also do. She trusted her instincts and right now they were telling her to take Cheshire away from this place.

“Come with me to the end of the road, Cheshire. Leave your horrible room and let’s have a last adventure together. It’ll be like old times.”

The Cheshire Cat’s grin widened even more.

“I was hoping you would say that.”

True to his word, Jackson MacDonald stayed on at Sweatlands to try and rectify all that Nurse Foster, the Gang Green and a few wayward staff members had spoilt over the years. It was a huge task. His last words to Alice were: “I have a feeling I shan’t be going back to Banbury for a while.”

Alice was sad to say goodbye as she had come to depend on Jackson’s calmness and sensibility when all around was in turmoil. He had given her courage and confidence. She was in no doubt that he would succeed in enlisting volunteers from town to help him put things right and eventually be reunited with Polly and live happily ever after in his town house.

Outside the gates of Sweatlands, Alice and part of the Cheshire Cat found the lane that led back to the road but something in the air had changed. It was as if the heady joy of summer had transformed into the melancholy of autumn. The leaves had a brown tinge to them and while not yet falling from the trees, they seemed to be hanging on by their fingertips. There was a subtle bite in the cool breeze. The countryside was still beautiful but in a sad way.

When they reached the road, Alice observed more changes. On the right of the road, the multi-coloured patchwork of fields had become a mixture of wasteland and warehouses that ran as far as the eye could see. The endless stretch of grassland and forest on the left was now broken by groups of houses and piles of logs.

“It’s all changed.”

At that precise moment, only the Cheshire Cat’s eyes, nose and mouth hung in the air and Alice had to wait for his ears to appear so he could hear her.

“I said ‘Everything’s changed’.”

“I can lip read, you know. I’m not dead quite yet!” chided Cheshire, then continued good-naturedly. “I think this is probably a totally different place to the one you were in before you entered the Home.”

“Oh no. It’s the same place but things aren’t the same.”

“What I mean is that if the road indeed ceased to exist while you were in Sweatlands, I would be quite surprised if it bore the slightest resemblance at all to the one before.”

Alice felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. It felt as though she was losing something she couldn’t put her finger on. She was being forced to say goodbye to a part of Wonderland she would never see again.

“Come, come, Alice. Crying won’t help. Look on the bright side. You’re soon at the end of your journey in Wonderland. With any luck you’ll be home soon.”

“I so want to be home right now with my family. And I never want to leave there. Ever. Not even to go to college.”

“I’m not sure that’s possible. We all grow up, grow older. Things change and we have to change with them. We can’t stop Time.”

“I know. It’s just that for years one waits for things to change. Then suddenly they do and everything changes far too quickly. It’s almost as if Time is playing tricks on us.”

“Well it can’t be easy being Time. Imagine having to find a time and place for everything. I’m sure Time makes mistakes occasionally and has to make it fly along to catch up.”

Alice and the Cheshire Cat walked together down the road away from Sweatlands and Banbury (well, Alice walked, the Cheshire Cat sort of floated from place to place). She walked slowly, partly because she was feeling tired and sad. And partly because she knew they were almost at the end of the road and there was no need to hurry. She believed, no hoped that home was close now.

“I’m so weary,” said Alice.

“It’s good to be wary,” replied Cheshire, whose ears had not quite materialised. “Only fools rush in. You look tired too. How about we stop for a rest?”

Alice rested her head against Cheshire’s fur and dozed off.

She knew she was dreaming, but try as she might, she could not stop her nightmare about the tiger from continuing.

She was standing at one end of the long banquet table, while the starving tiger, which blamed Alice for the loss of its stripes, effortlessly stepped up onto a bench and leapt up onto the far end of the table. As it slowly padded along towards Alice, other people on the table either fled from its path or were mauled by its sharp claws or teeth. It’s a dream within a dream, Alice said to herself. Nothing can harm me.

Alice waited until the tiger was busy with one of the courtiers about half way down the table, before jumping down to the floor and running towards a huge fireplace, which had a high and broad mantelpiece, big enough for her to climb onto. The tiger spotted her sudden movement and went into a frenzy. People screamed even more loudly and ran in all directions. It was pandemonium. Some followed Alice towards the fireplace, forming a barrier between her and the tiger. The tiger ran in the same direction, striking people down. Alice knew she had to reach the mantelpiece before the other people. For every person the tiger had to deal with, she felt both relief and guilt.

She reached the fireplace and jumped up, her hands and elbows resting on the mantelpiece. But she was too weak to haul herself up. Placing one foot on a coal scuttle, she pushed herself up and managed to heave herself into a kneeling position. Her face was pressed against the cold surface of a large mirror. Both legs below her knees stuck out and she could feel the tiger’s hot breath on her skin. She screamed as loud as she could to wake herself from the dream but it didn’t work. She willed the mirror to let her pass through to a safer place but it remained solid. She lifted one leg and was just in the process of standing upright on the mantelpiece when she felt the sharp claws of the tiger sink into her ankle.

Alice woke, tossing and turning. Without arms or legs to hold her, all the Cheshire Cat could do was gently lick her face to console her. In fact, the Cheshire’s Cat’s mouth was all that was present. Alice had never been licked by just a mouth before and she found it disconcerting and certainly not consoling.

“Has Dinah never licked your face before?” asked Cheshire, when his nose, eyes and the rest of his face had reappeared.

“Of course, but there was a head, body and legs attached. But thank you all the same. It’s the thought that counts.”

It was a long while before Alice’s nerves settled down and she was back to her normal self. She didn’t speak of the nightmare and Cheshire didn’t ask. They both knew in some bad dreams one just had to be there to appreciate how real and terrifying they were.

When at last Alice rose, there was a freshness and saltiness in the air. A lone seagull glided on the air currents, calling out to unseen friends. Not far ahead, the landscape became flat and something twinkled on the horizon. Water perhaps. The sea?

For the most part, Alice and the Cheshire Cat discussed Alice adventures. She told him about the animals on the train, the sweets that turned to coins, the Winter Forest and the mud flats. She knew something special had happened to her in the Forest but she couldn’t quite remember what it was. She described Mary, Humphrey Dunfry, Mrs MacDonald and all the people she had met in Banbury and Sweatlands. She even showed him her black feather but was unable to recall where or how she had come by it.

“This is the one thing that got me through the wilderness,” Alice said as her eyes welled up with tears. “And I don’t know why.”

“I’ll tell you about it one day,” said the Cheshire Cat. “I’m fairly certain that it’s connected to an important event in your life.”

Alice also told him about what had been happening to her back home; her studies, her father’s illness and how conflicted she was about leaving for London. It felt good to talk to someone else about everything. Even when only the Cheshire Cat’s mouth was visible and she knew she was just talking to herself. If not halved, her troubles were shared and she felt better for it. She also asked Cheshire about his time in the dark cell and was glad to notice that the more he talked, the more he became his old self. Very old self, she mused. Without realising, Alice had cheered up and found she was looking towards the future with renewed hope.

Gradually, the distant sparkles grew in number and size until Alice could make out a vast sea of dark blue ahead. Large waves made a steady booming sound as they crashed rhythmically onto the beach. A wide stretch of yellow sand separated the sea from the rest of Wonderland and there was a tangy smell of salt and seaweed in the air.

“I wonder which of the seven seas this is,” Alice said aloud. “It’s beautiful.”

“The future is rarely as bad as it seemed beforehand,” said Cheshire. “In most cases.”

The road ended in a sudden and most unspectacular way. A few rows of cobblestones across the road was the only indication that Alice had come to the end of her journey. The sandy beach stretched both ways along the shore. Monster waves of turquoise and green crashed onto the sloping shoreline a stone’s throw away. The seashore was gloriously desolate but that also meant there was no sign as to what Alice should do or where she should go next.

“Where to now?” she said, hopeful that Cheshire would have an answer.

“I’m not sure,” said Cheshire. “Sorry I’m not much help this time. You see, I’m at the end of the road myself, in more ways than one.” There was a sadness in his voice. “I can’t go any further. I’m afraid you’ll have to take the last steps yourself. But don’t worry, you’ve done well on your own so far.”

There was panic in Alice’s voice. “I’m not sure I can survive on my own.”

Cheshire smiled. “You know you can, Alice.”

His words frightened her. Where was he going? Why was she once again faced with being alone? She placed her arms around his head, only to feel a part of it vanishing beneath her fingers.

“Take care of yourself, Alice. You won’t see me again.”

There was a dreadful finality to his words. Alice didn’t want to believe Cheshire was dying so she hoped he wasn’t. She buried her face in the thick fur of his cheek. She didn’t want him to go. There were still so many things to discuss with him. She should have used their time on the road more wisely, to talk about more important things. Like feelings. Cabbages and Kings. It was all too late now.

She screwed up her eyes tightly to stop the tears from wetting his fur. She listened to the sound of her own breathing and wondered. If Cheshire’s body indeed ceases to exist when it isn’t visible, how does he continue to breathe? But this was Wonderland after all, where things didn’t have to make sense.

A new sound joined her breathing and the crashing of waves. It was an unnatural, unpleasant noise that had no business interrupting their farewell. It was the faint but growing noise of a large group of people. Alice looked up and saw a line of figures marching side by side along the road from the direction of Banbury. The dust cloud suggested many more people followed them.

She could feel Cheshire tense up under her touch. “It’s time, Alice. Time to think only of yourself. You have to go now,” he whispered.

“Go where?”

Angry shouts rose up and it looked as though some of the throng bore staves and pitchforks. Alice could think of no reason why they should be angry at her.

Cheshire’s voice was now louder, more insistent. “You have to go, Alice. You’re in danger.”

Alice looked into his large watery eyes and for the first time saw fear in the magical creature. Yet his enormous grin hinted at the possibility of a way out before the mob was upon her. But which way? Left or right along the beach?

As Cheshire’s face began to fade his fur became coarse to the touch. Alice was left holding loose hairs in her hand, which in turn melted away. She could feel the creature’s hard, leathery skin underneath. Soon, just his big sad eyes and grinning mouth hung in the air. Alice took her hands away before she found out what they felt like to the touch. This time, there was something different, heart-breaking, about the way he faded away and she feared that she really would not see him again. He had only just left his dungeon, yet now he was fading away, perhaps forever.

Cheshire’s grin lasted longer than the rest of him but soon that too disappeared, pausing to mouth in a silent and ghoulish way the word “Run!”

Alice had gained hope and wisdom from Cheshire but this didn’t stop her from feeling alone and scared. She didn’t want to die here. She turned her head towards the irate crowd, which was approaching fast. Some of them had begun to run and she could plainly hear her name being called in anger.

Suddenly, from the fields either side of the road, creatures of all shapes and sizes began to appear and block the way forward. Alice could make out some of the larger animals - sheep, cows and pigs – as well as flocks of birds. They seemed to be confronting the army of townsfolk, who were forced to stop in their tracks.

A ringing sound made Alice look down and through her tears she saw the familiar sight of a black telephone. The face of the telephone was ghostly white and its digits formed a troubled look. Alice picked up the receiver immediately and held it to her head.

“Alice?”

“Cheshire? Where are you? I thought you had gone for good.”

“I have. I’m in a wonderful place. It’s everything I hoped it would be. Believe me. But listen, you don’t have much time. You have to get off the road before the mob gets there. They are angry at you.”

“Why? What have I done?”

“It’s not what you’ve done, it’s what you stand for. Jackson MacDonald was wrong. It’s not only what you do in your life, it’s what the people in power think you have done and how much they influence what other people think you have done.

“Jackson told you he had hidden the coins he collected from people, didn’t he? Well, the Gang Green has apparently got hold of them. Thousands of them. With all the notes burnt, the value of coins has risen so fast, that as soon as the Gang Green released the coins back into circulation, people did anything to get their hands on them. So it really is true: look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.

“Egged on by the Gang Green, the people of Banbury have forgotten all the good they heard about Jackson and are back lusting for wealth. Money is all they really care about. That’s all they ever really cared about. Jackson is apparently now an inmate himself at Sweatlands, unable to leave. The Gang Green have convinced the people that Jackson kidnapped their children, stole their money to build his own fortune and that you helped him do that by enlisting an army of animals to protect him.”

“But that’s ridiculous.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think. Or what the truth is. It’s what they think that counts. You remember that you told Humphrey Dunfry to go back and let Mrs MacDonald’s animals go free? Well, he did just that. With the help of the animals you befriended, they are stirring up all the other animals to stand up to oppression. They’re staging a revolt in your name.”

“Oh no! What have I done?”

“It doesn’t matter. All that matters to you is that you need to run. Get off the road. Now!”

It was so unfair. Everything Jackson had done and tried to do had been undone in the blink of an eye. Worse still, he was now a prisoner in Sweatlands, a place infinitely more daunting than the Council House, with little chance of ever seeing Polly again. How could people be so fickle? The townsfolk of Banbury had heard Mayor Jackson’s story as Polly broadcast it across the market square and had learned how the Gang Green was behind all the greed and corruption. They had even thanked Alice. Yet for the sake of a few coins each, they had swallowed the lies of the Gang Green and were now out for her blood.

She looked back down the road and saw scuffles had broken out between the animals and the people. After trying in vain to reason with the townsfolk, the animals were now barring their way. But the people were incensed and most of the animals old and weak.

It pained Alice to see two old sheep fall beneath blows from sticks and cudgels. A few dogs dived into the fracas, led perhaps by Colonel Pavlov, but they were brushed aside by the sheer size and power of the mob. A murder of crows whirled above as people waving sticks tried to knock them out of the sky. A part of Alice wanted to run back and help them but she knew it was their choice to be there. Their right.

Animals of all kinds, wild and domesticated, emerged from the undergrowth. Alice was sure Chester would be among them. Perhaps Kevin and possibly even Jeremiah (albeit a little behind the others). Insects too swarmed into the fray. She watched as creatures threw themselves to destruction.

“I’ll always be with you, Alice.”

“Who are you really, Cheshire?”

There was a short pause. “Some rules one simply can’t break. Not even in Wonderland. Goodbye, Alice.”

Alice handed the receiver back to the telephone, which broke its silence to scream just one word. “Run!”

With a quick look at the advancing throng, Alice removed her shoes and stepped off the road and onto the sand. If she had been expecting some magical shift in the world she would have been disappointed. The only thing that happened was that her feet sunk into the soft, hot beach. She was still very much in Wonderland.

A rusty metal knife, thrown by one of the crowd, clattered and skidded to a halt on the road nearby. Alice knew she had to get farther away and fast. She tried to run across the beach, pumping her legs up and down with all her might, but the deep sand slowed her progress. The fighting had now reached the end of the road. Soon they would be upon her.

She looked towards the sea as if to ask the waves for help and caught sight of a girl standing by the water’s edge. It was Mary. How she had got there Alice had no idea. She was waving at Alice, not frantically but in a calm, friendly manner, as if she couldn’t see the pandemonium behind. Alice could clearly hear cries of “Traitor!” and “Charlatan!” coming from the mouths of the ringleaders as they reached the edge of the beach. She saw a man fall to his knees beneath a pack of hamsters and a woman trying to strangle a turkey. She spotted two Gang Green members barking orders to the townsfolk as they tried to swat a swarm of wasps away. At least the children had been spared.

There was nothing for it but to run to Mary and ask her if she knew the way out of Wonderland. Slowly but surely, Alice managed to cross the sand and reach Mary, who was still smiling, oblivious to the advancing army.

Perspiration streaked down Alice’s face. She wiped it away then wiped her hands on her dirty yellow dress. As usual, Mary’s clothes looked as though they had just been ironed and her hair freshly washed and curled.

“Hello Alice. I sometimes sell sea shells here by the seashore. Today, I came here to look for some for my garden but I found you. It’s lovely to see you again.”

“Mary! If you know, please tell me how I can leave Wonderland! The people of Banbury have turned against me. The animals are trying to stop them but they are being massacred. Unless I escape … well, who knows what will happen.”

Mary continued to smile as she said calmly, “Don’t you know, Alice? You can never leave Wonderland.“

“What do you mean, I can’t leave? Ever? Why?”

“Well, not without me, in any case. And I know you won’t take me with you because you don’t like me. So it appears you are to remain here and witness Wonderland’s downfall.”

Alice was confused. Why was Mary being so mean? Why did Mary need to come with her anyway? They hardly knew each other. It was true, Alice didn’t much care for the precocious girl standing in front of her. She belittled others and at times was even spiteful. So yes, Mary was perhaps the last person Alice would choose to take with her. But it was clear she knew how Alice could return home. So if that meant taking Mary along, then so be it.

“You can come with me, Mary. Just tell me how we can escape.”

“You have to accept me as a friend, Alice. Let me in. You can’t say you’ll take me if you don’t really mean it. It doesn’t work like that.”

“I do mean it. You can come. Let’s go!”

“Really? You’ll take me with you?”

“Yes. But quickly now. Tell me what to do.”

A small man brandishing an ugly wooden club stepped off the road and onto the sand. Seeing nothing bad had happened to him, a larger man wielding a metal spear joined him. A woman also stepped onto the sand and shouted, “She’s over there. Let’s get her!”

As Alice had done, the attackers struggled to cross the soft sand.

Meanwhile, Mary wanted proof of Alice’s sincerity. “First, tell me why you don’t like me.”

Alice tried to contain her frustration.

“I do like you,” said Alice between gritted teeth. “I just told you!” She was now telling an outright lie and it felt bad. Mary looked out to sea as though she had all the time in the world.

“Does it matter why I don’t like you?” asked Alice.

Mary began humming the tune to “I had a little nut tree”. Alice was out of time, so why pretend anymore?

“All right! All right! I don’t like you. It’s because you’re arrogant and self-centred. You judge others and can’t stand people who think or act differently to you. You don’t seem to appreciate …”

Mary stopped Alice by taking hold of her arms and facing her square on. “Yes Alice. I’m all those things and more. But why don’t you like me? Last chance! Why!”

Alice thought for a moment, although she wouldn’t really have needed to.

“Because you remind me of me. All the worst parts of me.” Alice repeated what she had just said in her head and burst into tears. She didn’t resist when Mary embraced her gently.

“Oh Alice. Don’t you understand? I am you. I’ve never been anyone else. Didn’t you ever wonder why Humphrey Dunfry thought your name was Mary? Or why Mrs MacDonald suspected you were me? Or why nobody talked to me at the market place or the Unfair? It was because they couldn’t see me. I was never there. You silly sausage.”

Alice frowned as she tried to come to terms with the fact that Mary was a creation of her own imagination. She stared into Mary’s eyes and saw the truth in it. She had hated Mary at times. But it was not because Mary merely mirrored the worst characteristics of herself, it was because Mary actually was the worst traits of Alice personified. Had Alice known deep down all along?

But why had Mary been created? Had Wonderland removed the worst part of Alice to make it easier for her to help the land and its people? Honey catches more flies than vinegar, as Mrs M had said. Well, that hadn’t worked out too well. More probably, it had wanted to show Alice some bitter truths about herself. Or had Alice herself fabricated Mary? Was this one of the “defence mechanisms” her mother had once accused her of? Whatever the reason, it was time for her to face up to reality and be whole again.

Suddenly, a short way along the beach, the sand shifted. The tall and lanky body of a black Eeler rose out of the ground and pointed its cruel barbed fingers towards Alice. Its face was lost in shadow but its intent was clear. Along the shoreline in both directions, other Eelers emerged from the sand, towering silently and menacingly over Alice, cutting off her only escape route.

The people of Banbury, still embroiled in their battle with the creatures, had by now crossed the beach and were spreading out to encircle Alice. There was blood and sand everywhere. Still the creatures fought bravely to keep off Alice’s aggressors, biting, scratching and stinging every inch of bare skin they could find. Against all odds, they had managed to slow down the army of people and let Alice reach the seashore. Yet there were just too many people with too many weapons. It wouldn’t be long before the townsfolk or the Eelers would be upon her.

Ignoring others around her, Alice took Mary’s face in her hands and kissed her lightly but with all the love she could muster. Tears sprung into Mary’s eyes and the annoying smirk she had worn from the outset softened into the warmest smile Alice had ever seen. No longer caring if the people of Banbury or the Eelers harmed her, Alice wrapped her arms around Mary in such a tight embrace that their bodies melted into each other. She knew neither of them were perfect but together they could be a better person. Whether destined to fall or survive, Alice would do so a whole person. To her surprise, she found she was smiling.

She turned and looked with new eyes at the seething mob that faced her. She was no longer scared of them. There was no anger. Not even when one of them scratched the skin on her forehead with the point of a spear and drew a few drops of blood. She felt pain yes, and even alarm. But most of all, she felt sorry for all the people and animals. Sorry for Wonderland. She knew that she could no longer help them. Perhaps she never had been able to.

At the sight of blood on Alice’s yellow dress, the people of Banbury paused their fighting and glanced at one another as if to say, she is mortal, not magical; merely a young girl, not a false prophet. In their eyes she became an injured child, awaking in them long-forgotten emotions.

Then a large lady, who held a knife, spoke up from the crowd. She spoke in a quiet voice but it was heard by everyone.

“Seize her. Lock her up. And throw away the key,” said Mrs MacDonald, the farmer’s wife.

“But she’s just a little girl,” said a man in the crowd, who had lost his appetite for violence.

“I’m not a little girl,” said Alice, smiling, but with conviction. I am so much more.

“That’s right, you’re not,” said Mrs MacDonald to Alice. She turned to the crowd and shouted, “You heard her. She’s guilty. She hates us. She stole our money, our children. She’s the ringleader behind the attack of the animals. She thinks we’re nothing but a dream and now she wants to escape, leaving Wonderland in chaos. Our only hope is to keep her here. Seize her! Lock her up! And throw away the key! Seize her! Lock her up! And throw away the key!”

When two members of the Gang Green took up the chant, it became a mantra for others to copy. There was no more fighting, but soon a hundred people bayed for Alice’s capture.

“Seize her! Lock her up! And throw away the key!”

Calmly, with the confidence of knowing that no one would stop her, Alice turned away from her would-be captors and her allies and walked slowly to the sea’s edge. The waves used the last of their power to lap at her toes. She kept going. The crowd grew silent again as no-one had expected her to do something as foolish as to walk into the sea. A distance grew between the crowd and Alice but no-one followed her.

It was as if every living creature in Wonderland had gathered on that beach. Waiting and watching in silence. If the Cheshire Cat was to be believed, then everyone was indeed there, as he claimed nothing else existed outside of what Alice could see. She cared for them, all of them, even Mrs MacDonald. But she was not responsible for them. As they were not responsible for her. She was only responsible for herself.

Cheshire was right. It was Alice’s time. Everything was now about her and her alone. She was free to return home. Smiling, partly at the effect her indifference was having on the crowd, Alice walked further into the water. Frightened she may drown, the waves tried to return her to the beach but she carried on. They tried to knock her from her feet but she remained upright. They buffeted her body but she refused to go back. Deeper and deeper into the water she walked until it was chest-high. The swell rocked her to and fro yet she would not fall. At long last, she knew she was going in the right direction. Of that she was sure.

Just as Alice wondered whether to fill her lungs with air and hold her breath, the sea level began to drop. From her waist to her knees, then down to her ankles. The tide was retreating at an impossible pace, racing far out to sea, as if sucked up by Neptune himself. It left a hundred thousand fish beached and gasping for breath. The sight caused a tightness in her chest.

Whether spurred on by the sight of a free meal or the chance to capture Alice, the dark Eelers waded effortlessly across the muddy sand towards her, their barbed limbs ready to skewer her. Their fury and hunger blinded them. They had not sensed the change in Alice. Neither had they seen the giant wave on the horizon; the tsunami that had the power to wash away all that was wrong with Wonderland and cleanse it of its troubles. It raced towards the beach like a screaming banshee, like a steam train whistling louder than a hurricane.

People and animals alike stood and waited, covering their ears against the shrill of the wave. They felt the wind as it fled to stay ahead of the rising sea. Then they heard the low rumble as the body of water pounded the seabed in its path and spoke to Alice of what was to come.

“Why?” she asked the sea. “It doesn’t make sense. I saved the animals on the train, only to see them grow old and abused by the people. Now they stand up for their rights, only to sacrifice themselves in battle. What’s it all for?”

The sea roared more loudly and Alice replied.

“The people of Banbury rejected corruption only to welcome it back with open arms. And what of their children?”

The wind snatched words from the surf and told Alice that nothing and no-one was all good or all bad. Done with talking to mortals, the sea grew higher still. Alice understood that before such might, all life was equal. Her understanding freed her from any guilt about leaving the creatures of Wonderland behind.

As the wave neared, it climbed to an impossible height, casting the land into shadow. Alice breathed deeply and smiled as the wall of water rose above her. She marvelled at the mermaids, serpents and other fantastic creatures silhouetted against the blue sky behind. They called out to her.

“You may control yourself but you cannot control Wonderland.”

She had summoned a power that could wash away Wonderland’s sin. But at what cost to those that lived here? Swings and roundabouts, said a voice in her head. The way of the world.

Alice trembled in wonder before the land’s one true power. Then she surrendered herself utterly to a force that humans never would and perhaps never should attempt to comprehend. As the towering, deafening wave engulfed her, she felt insignificant yet at one with the Wonderland; miniscule and gigantic, nowhere and everywhere. She knew that whatever happened to her next would be the right thing.

The wave took her body, her breath and her mind. It tossed her in a hundred directions, twisting her in as many positions. It stole her thoughts and emptied her soul of any feelings. And finally, it spat her out into the cold air.

Alice found herself on her hands and knees, among the small stones and shallow waters at the edge of the river. The sea, the beach and the shrill whistling in her ears had all evaporated, as had all the creatures and people of Wonderland. The weir gurgled quietly like the muffled sound of silver bells.

Alice wore her white dress again and her new red shoes lay waiting for her on the riverbank. The only thing she had appeared to bring back with her was a stinging sensation on her forehead, where a weapon, or possibly a rock, had grazed her skin.

The sun was sinking in the sky and Alice knew that she must get home before her parents came looking for her. After all, she still had to pack. It would be nice to see her family and she would make a point of visiting home often once she had moved to London.

And yet she sat for a few moments more on the riverbank, listening to the soft drone of the insects and the twittering of birds that chased them. She breathed in the last of a rare summer evening. Above the sounds of nature, she could just make out the faint whistle of a steam engine many miles away.

She wondered if the blue dragonfly hovering an arm’s length away had fought for her in Wonderland. What an ally a dragon would have posed for her attackers. She laughed at the absurdity of it all. At the same time, she knew that she didn’t have the ability to dream up everything in such perfect detail all by herself.

There had been no Jabberwocky. Or then it had taken the form of greed and corruption that had threatened the very fabric of Wonderland. Had there only ever been one outcome to the chaos? Was she nothing more than a pawn on a chess board? Not even a queen this time? And is Wonderland being recreated anew as I sit here, wrapped up in my own thoughts?

And what was she supposed to learn from her adventure? She had spent years asking that same question following her first visits to Wonderland and it had almost driven her mad. I’m not about to repeat that experience! She was wise enough to know that she could not fully comprehend any deeper meaning. What she did know was that this had either changed something inside her for good or it had not. Therefore, the best thing she could do was to be herself, whoever she now was, and get on with life. Take things (and people) as they came. Maybe be a little more tolerant. She gave a deep but contented sigh and concluded that she wouldn’t have missed this adventure for the world.

Just two more minutes by the river, she whispered to Mary. Time slowed. They looked out over the water to the opposite bank. To where water boatmen skated through a forest of reeds. To where a shoal of fish below the water were getting hungry. To where the water cooled and became darker. If one took the time to look and listen, one could learn so much about the world. Even about oneself.

Eventually, Alice rose and wandered slowly back towards the house. Her world was one of peace and hope. At least for now. A smile played across her lips as her fingertips came into contact with a pebble-shaped sweet in the pocket of her dress. And a feather. And she remembered.

The end