Chapter Seventeen

Before dinner Ted returned to Milton’s quarters and changed back into his uniform. He’d had enough of masquerading as someone he wasn’t. He had to face reality.

When he rejoined Milton and Kitty on the street, he lied and told them he had plans for dinner. He politely thanked them for an enjoyable day, then he promptly left, not giving them a chance to ask questions.

He was running away. He knew it. But he had to get away from them. The enormous gap between who they were and who he was had become so clear, at least to him, that he couldn’t stand being with them any longer.

He ducked into a subway entrance and boarded the first train he saw. He didn’t care where he went just so it was away from Kitty and Milton.

But jostling along in his own private world, he couldn’t get Kitty out of his mind. She had come alive in her brother’s company. Smiling, relaxed, happy. She’d even laughed at his jokes. So unlike the serious girl who cast him a disapproving eye in the middle of his entertaining routine.

Madge told him Kitty was afraid of men, afraid to get involved. But the girl he’d spent the day with had been friendly, congenial, even witty at times. She knew her history and referred to literature with a familiarity and fondness that made him want to search out Shakespeare and Chaucer. He’d read what was required in high school English but found most of it dull and irrelevant. She made them sound interesting, made him want to know more just so he could discuss them with her.

He shook off such thoughts about Kitty. He needed to stick with his own kind. He should stick with Madge. She was more his type. But when he thought of Madge, she seemed dull and superficial. All flash with no substance.

Wasn’t that what he liked? Flashy, pretty, well-built dames. Women who made him the envy of all the other men. Women who looked good on his arm, who knew how to dance and make out. Women who knew how to show a guy a good time.

So why, after spending the day with a wholesome, all-American girl from a good family, did the others seem so boring, so dull, so insincere?

The train came to a halt, and the conductor announced the end of the line. Ted exited, not knowing where he was.

Above ground the world appeared surreal, filled with tumbled stone and bricks barely visible in the eerie twilight. An occasional wall stood silhouetted against the sky. Blackened timbers stuck up through the rubble and mangled iron rods projected from crumbled concrete. The short patch of street ahead ended abruptly in a pile of stone. No street signs identified the location.

He turned and watched the three people who had emerged from the underground with him hurrying off along a path toward a row of buildings standing precariously amidst the destruction.

His first instinct was to run after them. Ask them where he was and how to get back, to where? To civilization. To London.

But this was London. This is what the German bombers had done to the city.

How many had been killed? How many had been left homeless, with nothing left of their lives?

Was this what their bombers were doing to German cities? So much destruction had been wrought to satisfy Hitler’s desire to rule the world. How many lives would be lost to stop the monster?

He thought of Milton and the coming invasion. Would he survive? What would Kitty do if he were killed? Would it destroy her?

Seeing them together he saw a kind of love he had never experienced. The love between a brother and a sister. He knew enough to know all siblings were not as close as Kitty and Milton. Yet it was the type of bond he had yearned for growing up. He had wanted a brother. Someone to be with, play with, cry with. He’d have settled for a sister. He just wanted someone to share his life, someone who understood, someone to keep him from feeling so alone.

He drew a deep breath and shoved the old feelings deep inside. He had to deal with now. He wasn’t going to try to walk back. Not the best plan, especially in the dark. So he returned to the subway and descended into the depths of the underground chamber.

Surely another train would come. No schedule was posted. He just had to wait. So he slumped down onto a bench under the dim light of a single lamp. The shaft of light from the stairway gradually faded into complete darkness.

He chided himself for not eating. He could have had dinner with Kitty and Milton. He could be sitting right now talking and laughing in some restaurant. It would have been fun. Just watching Kitty with her brother would have been a most pleasant way to pass an evening, even if he could not talk to her himself.

He imagined watching them, as if through a window. He couldn’t hear their conversation. He could just watch their faces, her face, alive, happy.

He’d done the right thing, leaving them. Putting some distance between them.

He didn’t belong with people like that. Nice people.

He belonged with the drifters, the day laborers, the people who stood in bread lines, who took charity but hated themselves for it. That’s who his father had been. Lost, with no job, no place for his family to live, nothing to offer them.

Although only ten at the time, the fact his father had been stealing when he was killed had been no surprise to Ted. There were times when his father brought them food and refused to say where it came from. Just before they left St. Louis, his father produced a pair of shoes for Ted, not new shoes, but ones someone had worn. Ted didn’t care where they came from. They fit, and they had no holes.

Those were the dark days, the days when he had made up his mind to work hard at whatever he could so he wouldn’t be hungry or homeless again.

Later, abandoned by his parents by death and desertion, his grandparents gave him stability. A home, food, clothing, regular schooling. He made a few friends, mostly boys whose families were struggling to get out of the depression. And he played basketball. Made the team on talent alone. Even so, he’d been an outsider, never included in invitations to parties, never quite good enough to hang around with the “nice” kids.

His grandparents gave him a home, but they couldn’t give him social status. The immigrants were accepted in the community, to a point. But families like Kitty’s would never be more than customers at the butcher shop. Those type people were several rungs up the social ladder from Ted and his German grandparents. And no uniform or gold bars would ever make up that difference.

A rumbling from far down the tunnel pulled him out of this thoughts. He straightened, hoping the sound would increase and the train would pull up in front of him.

After what seemed like an eternity, the train ground to a stop. Five or six people got off.

Ted quickly boarded. The conductor eyed him curiously.

Ted flashed him a smile and quipped. “Wrong stop.”

The conductor only nodded and closed the door. Soon they were rumbling away, through the dark tunnel, toward another unknown destination.

Just like his life.

****

Early the next morning Ted went to Milton’s quarters. He wanted to speak to Kitty’s brother without her being around.

Ted informed the clerk he wanted to see Sergeant Milton Greenlee on an urgent matter. When the desk clerk hesitated, Ted flashed his lieutenant’s bars and acted the part of an irate officer.

Anxious to avoid a problem with the U.S. Army, the clerk called Milton’s room.

“He will be down in a few minutes.”

Ted frowned.

“I woke him up. You have to give him time to get dressed.”

Five minutes later Milton descended the stairs grumbling at having been roused at such an early hour.

Ted frowned back at him and ordered him outside.

“Sorry about that,” Ted said as they stepped onto the sidewalk.

“What do you want?” Milton was still agitated.

“To talk to you—before I leave town.”

Milton glanced around at the nearly deserted street. “What about?”

“To thank you for putting me up the other night and for letting me tag along yesterday.”

Milton eyed him curiously. “No sweat. A friend of Katherine’s is a friend of mine.”

“Speaking of Kitty, uh, Katherine,” Ted stammered. “That’s the other thing I want to talk about.” He hesitated, fidgeted with his hands. “She’s a nice girl. And, well, uh, I want you to know that I have a lot of respect for her.”

Milton only nodded, waiting for Ted to continue.

Frustrated at himself, he jerked his cap from his head to give him something to hold onto. He was never tongue-tied. Could always say what he wanted to say. Yet he struggled for the words. “What I’d like to say…like for you to tell her… Well, much as I like her, I…uh…I don’t want to hurt Kitty’s feelings…”

“But you don’t want her to get the wrong idea.”

“Right.” Ted grinned, thankful Milt understood.

“Don’t worry. She’s a big girl. As a matter of fact, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how much she’s grown up. The Army’s good for her.”

“Yeah,” Ted agreed. He looked away, his thoughts returning to the huge gap between them. “Anyway, with this war going on, all I want is to have a good time.” He looked into Milton’s eyes. “You understand.”

“I think so.” Milton nodded.

“I’ll be going back to the bombers soon.”

“And a lot of you fly boys get shot down.”

“Exactly.” Ted knew Milt would understand.

“I already told her not to get interested in anyone, not till this thing is over.”

“Good advice.” Ted relaxed. His gaze roamed the street. “Want a cup of coffee?”

Milton smiled. “You were the one worried about being seen with a non-com.”

“Oh, that was just to avoid the MPs. I’m not really supposed to be in London.” He flashed the mischievous grin that usually kept him out of trouble.

Milton shook his head but continued to smile. “Okay. I guess we can act like we’re old friends.”

Ted settled his cap back on his head as they walked toward a small café.

“Tell me about this friend of Katherine’s.”

“Madge? Oh, she’s a great girl.”

Inside they ordered coffee and settled at a table. “She could be a pin-up girl,” Ted continued.

“Madge?” Milton’s surprise meant he’d never seen Madge, not even a picture.

“Yeah. Blonde and built.” Ted used his hands to trace her curves in the air. “You know the type.”

Milton grinned before taking a sip of his coffee. “You like her?” He watched Ted’s reaction.

“Yeah. Sure. Madge’s swell.” He caught Milton’s gaze. “She knows the score. Strictly out for a good time, no strings.”

“Unlike Katherine?”

“Kitty’s the serious type. You know.” Ted took a big gulp of the hot liquid.

“Yeah, I know. She’s my sister.”

“And you don’t want her to get hurt.”

Milton leaned back. “You want me to talk to her—about you.” He didn’t ask. He just made the statement.

Ted nodded.

“Sure. I’ll talk to her. Tell her you’re a swell guy but not to get mixed up with you—or anyone—till after the war. How’s that?”

“That’s good.”

Ted was relieved. He’d accomplished his mission.

When they parted with a hand shake and “good luck” wishes, he told himself he didn’t have to worry about Kitty. She’d listen to her brother.

Ted was no good for her. It was just their history and the glamour of the uniform that made her think she was interested. In the long run, she’d be glad she didn’t get involved.

But he already regretted losing her. Losing the opportunity to get to know her, to find out if they had a chance together.

No. You’ve made up your mind and that’s that.

****

Ted got off the train, leaving behind some flyers he’d met onboard who were on their way to the airfield at Allford, his former post. He headed toward the lobby. The local train back to Ellingham wouldn’t leave for a while yet.

He wandered around the station and finally asked an Englishman if there was someplace nearby that he could get some fish ’n’ chips before he caught his next train. The man gave him directions to a shop not far away.

Ted got back to the station just in time to jump onto the already moving train. Balancing the fish ’n’ chips wrapped in newspaper in one hand and his small musette bag in the other, he made his way down the narrow corridor that ran down one side of the English trains. He peered into each compartment hoping to find a seat where he could eat in peace.

In one crowded compartment he saw a familiar uniform. A WAC sat staring out the window. It was Kitty. His heart raced at the sight of her, then his head kicked in telling him to get away fast before she saw him.

At that moment, a portly gentleman tried to get by him. Ted raised his arms and pressed his back against the compartment door so the man could squeeze by. Ted turned for one last glance at Kitty before he moved on and found her looking at him. Their gazes locked for a few seconds. Recognition blossomed in her face. He forced himself to smile and gave a little wave with his bag, then made his escape down the corridor.

Damn. He hadn’t wanted to see her so soon. He needed time to prepare, to steel himself against what he felt for her. He couldn’t deny his feelings to himself. But it wouldn’t work and he had to convince himself of that fact. He had to come up with a strategy for dealing with her because he knew he would see her again. With both of them assigned to headquarters, it was inevitable.

A couple of doors down he found some airmen from the Ellingham air field. When they saw the fish ’n’ chips, they pulled him into the compartment, squeezing together to make room.

Ted laughed at them and gladly shared his food. Right now he needed the camaraderie more than the nourishment.

****

He hadn’t ignored her. He’d smiled and waved. But no more. She hated to admit she wanted more, but she did. She’d wanted him to sit beside her the entire trip laughing and sharing small talk.

She had to stop fantasizing. He wasn’t someone she imagined. He was real. And he didn’t want to spend more time with her. That was pretty clear.

Her brother had tried to console her by telling her Ted wasn’t the kind of guy she needed. And she wasn’t the kind of girl he wanted to date.

Milton had always told her that she was the type who held back and waited till one day she would fall hard for someone. Trouble was she could fall for the wrong man. Milton had reminded her of Howard, the boy she’d fallen for in college only to find out he just wanted some “affection” before he reported for duty after being drafted. She’d been devastated when he dumped her. He’d used her and thrown her away.

It was cruel of Milton to bring up Howard. Milton was the only one she’d told the truth about her little “affair.” But she knew he was just using it to warn her off Ted.

Although Milton admitted he liked Ted, a lot. They’d made friends very quickly, despite the fact they were, in her opinion, very different. And neither minded the difference in rank. It was like they had been old friends, and the Army wasn’t going to separate them with their arbitrary rules. It fascinated her how men could size each other up and almost instantly become friends.

She, on the other hand, had always had trouble getting to know people, men or women, but especially men. Madge told her she had to watch for the signals. But Kitty struggled to see them. It was much easier to understand the characters in books that to read real people.

Kitty hoped to see Ted when the train arrived at Ellingham, but somehow he eluded her. Probably on purpose. Just as he’d disappeared in London.

Back at her quarters, the other girls were anxious to hear about her trip to London. She told them about her brother and the sights they’d seen, careful to avoid any mention of Ted. She reminded them all that the general thought Milton was her fiancé, so they were not to let the cat out of the bag or she would be in trouble. A couple of the girls commented on how silly she was being, but Madge spoke up to defend Kitty.

“You don’t have to work for that man. He’s been chasing poor Kitty ever since we got here. If he’ll back off because he thinks she’s engaged, then let him think it. No harm done and just maybe you’ll be saving a friend.”

Kitty thanked Madge for her support. Later they spoke privately.

“I dread facing him tomorrow.”

“Why? Just tell him about the trip, like you told the girls, only leave out the brother part.”

“I’m just not any good at lying. Somehow I always get caught.”

“Well, I’ve done plenty of it in my time. Just stick as close to the truth as you can. That makes it easier.”

Kitty was amazed at how much Madge’s comment sounded like what Ted had said. Was that why they hit it off so well? Because they were a lot alike?

“What?” Madge interrupted her thoughts.

“Oh, I was just thinking of something Milton said.” Kitty flashed her friend a smile. “He couldn’t believe his little sister had told a lie. I’ve always been extremely truthful.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that about you. Gets you in trouble sometimes. I hope I’ve taught you something about how to get along, in the Army, and with men.”

“Yes.” Kitty nodded. “Yes, you have.”