THIRTY-SIX

 

Beeping noises surrounded me as my eyes slid open.  The ceiling tiles slowly came into focus, the sound of air blowing through a vent above me pulling me to wakefulness as I blinked. 

I carefully sat up, my head feeling like it was spinning.  I was back in a hospital room, surrounded by the now familiar flashing screens, dripping bags, and tubes sticking out of my arms.  The room was completely devoid of life other than myself.

I ripped the lines out of my arm, a small bubble of blood immediately forming on my skin.  Shifting my weight, I slipped my legs out from under the heavy quilt and off the side of the bed.

I barely suppressed the scream when I saw my legs coming out from under my hospital gown.

My right leg was a mass of crusted and wavy looking skin, small pieces of black rubber melted into the heel of my foot.  Despite the intensity of the burn, it looked like it was already healing.

But my left leg was worse.  So much worse.

The skin twisted and deformed in disgusting ways, hardly identifiable as human flesh.  But from mid-calf down, there was nothing left but a gleaming metal skeleton.

I crashed to the floor, my hands barely reaching out to catch myself before the ground came rushing up at me.  I scrambled to my feet, not even noticing how I once again felt no pain from my injuries.  The back of my eyes burned as I heard the sound of my metal foot clanking against the tile of the floor. 

The hall was devoid of any life as I stumbled out.  I blinked hard several times, making my vision refocus as it tried to fail me.  I held to the rail along the wall as I dragged myself down the hall.  I didn’t make it more than ten feet before I collapsed to the ground, a mix of terror, unregistered pain, and shock bringing me down.

As my head fell back against the tile, a pair of boots came into view.

“Eve!” someone shouted.  The next moment I felt a pair of arms underneath me and the ceiling came a little closer.  A few seconds later my bed was back underneath me.

Slowly, the sight of West’s brown eyes came into focus.

“Can you hear me?” he asked, his voice sounding so far away.

I gave a nod, blinking hard.  When I opened my eyes again everything was clearer.

“You really shouldn’t be getting up right now,” West said, taking one of my hands in his.  He sat in a seat next to my bed, pressing my knuckles to his lips.

I looked over at him, my thoughts running a million places all at once.  “How long have I been out?” I started.  It seemed like I was having to ask that question to often lately.

“Only about a day,” he breathed, his eyes intense on mine.

I glanced back down, catching the light as it gleamed off the skeleton of my foot.  I lay back down, swallowing hard.

“It’s a lot better than it was last night,” he said quietly.  “There was nothing from your knee down.”

“How can you still look at me?” I said quietly, laying my other arm across my eyes.  “Seeing what I really am?  I’m one of them.”

I heard West stand, letting go of my hand, he sat on the edge of the bed.  He placed his hands on either side of my face.  “You are nothing like the Bane,” he said seriously, his eyes burning into mine. 

I heard another set of footsteps enter the room and saw Avian enter.  His face was hard to read as he took in the sight of West and I, so close together.  I felt myself hating everything I was again.

“You’re awake,” he said simply.

“I’ll let him catch you up on everything,” West said quietly and to my surprise, left without another word.

As I watched Avian standing there, my eyes stung and my lower lip started to tremble just slightly.  I couldn’t breathe.

He crossed the room silently and gathered me up into his arms, his face buried in my mass of tangled hair.  His entire frame shook as he held me tightly.  The sob that escaped my chest surprised me.

 “My leg…” I barely managed to get the words out. 

Avian sat back a bit, placing one hand on the back of my neck, his forehead resting against mine.  His blue eyes looked like there might be flames burning behind them as he stared at me.  “You will forever be the most beautiful creature on this planet to me, no matter what.  I don’t care what you’re skeletal frame is made of.  You’re still Eve.”

“Avian, I want…” I dropped off, not even knowing how to finish that sentence.  I was tempted to put my head in that gigantic ring on the roof, just to stop all the confusion I felt.

“Don’t,” he said, pressing a finger to my lips.  “You just need to finish healing right now.”

I took a deep breath, finding some sense of my normal self, and nodded. 

“Someday you’re going to realize that you’re not indestructible.”

“How bad was it?” I asked.

Avian sat back, close to the foot of the bed.  “The skin on your left leg was totally burned away up to your knee,” he started.  “Traces of metal could be seen in your right leg, most of the skin was gone, and a lot of the muscle had been burned away as well.  Your lower back had been burned but not too horribly.  The bullet proof vest protected you quite a bit.  It healed pretty fast.  You lost a few inches of hair.  You were bleeding profusely from the bullet wound in your arm and all your other injuries.  You needed a blood transfusion.  But within hours you were already healing.  I would expect your left leg will look totally normal again within three days.”

I nodded, my eyes drifting to the ceiling.  “I don’t feel the pain anymore.”

“I told Dr. Beeson about that,” he said.  “He isn’t sure why your pain blockers were lessened.  I didn’t realize you’d asked him to remove some of the emotional blockers.”  There was a trace of hope in his voice that made me blush.  The smallest hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.  “Dr. Beeson said it was an accident, messing with the pain blockers.  He seemed pretty concerned about it.  But he thinks he got it fixed.  It seems like it’s working.  Right?”

I nodded.  “Guess you were right about being wary about letting me go to the plant,” I said.

He smiled.  “Like I could have stopped you.”

“You couldn’t have,” I said.  “Now find me some pants and boots so I don’t scare everyone away.”

He just chuckled and shook his head.  

It took him a few minutes but Avian found me some clothes and we walked down the hall together.

“They haven’t set the Pulse off yet, have they?” I asked.  My boots were too big without any flesh to fill them and the metal foot slid around inside it.  I walked with a major limp.

“No,” he answered, his always serious eyes forward.  “Royce said it takes about two days to build up enough power to set it off.  It’s charging now though.”

“Two days,” I breathed.  “Do you really think it will work?”

Avian shrugged.  “The technology seems right.  They have the brains here to do it.”

“I can’t even imagine what life is going to be like if it works.”

“It will be better,” Avian said quietly as we entered the main lobby area.  “You’ll see how life should have been, in a post-apocalyptic way.”

By now the lobby was emptying out, everyone preparing for sleep at mid-day.  I suddenly missed my days of scouting, of roaming through the woods, free without any walls barricading me in.  Hopefully all that would end in just a few short days.

I followed the others up to the rooms, feeling like everyone could see through my pants to my cybernetic leg as I limped along.  No one bothered me though, didn’t ask questions or pull my pant leg up to bear witness to the horror.  I made it to my room without being exposed for what I was.

The ceiling greeted me as I lay down, knowing I wasn’t going to be getting any sleep for the next eight hours of silence.  Images started to slide across my mind: the blinding light from the explosion that had tried to take my legs, the blue eyes that had tried to call out to me when my brain couldn’t handle it all.  Flickers of row after row of Bane.  The flash of light from my firearms.

So much violence.

I turned my head when a crack of light started growing on my wall.  The silhouette of a man appeared in the door before he closed it behind him.

“Hi,” I breathed as he hesitated next to the door.

“Hi,” West said through the dark.  I could feel the mixture of feelings that were rolling off of him.  I knew what it was like to feel like an emotional wreck.

“I won’t bite you,” I said as I scooted to one side of my bed.

“You sure?” he said light-heartedly as he crossed the room and lay next to me on the bed.  He lay on his side, just looking at me for a long time.

West trailed his fingers softly across my forehead, brushing stray hairs off my face.  He didn’t look in my eyes as he did so, his gaze lingered on my ears, my shoulder, my neck, as he struggled with how to form the words he had in his head.  Hesitantly, he picked up the wings attached to my necklace and held them lightly in his hand.  I wondered if he knew Avian had made it for me, and the sacrifice he had given for me to have it.

“I thought you were going to die,” he said quietly.  “When they brought you in after the explosion, you looked so broken, I wasn’t sure they could put you back together.  It was so much worse than the other night.  Your heart barely kept going.  For a while I think I’d fooled myself into believing that you couldn’t die.” 

“Good thing I’m not dead then,” I said as I placed my hand over his and he stilled it on my cheek.  The coals started to burn as we touched.  A sense of anticipation started to ignite in my belly.

“I wanted to give you something,” he said quietly as he finally met my eyes.  “One last thing before I stop this.  It won’t happen again until you make your choice.”

He leaned forward then, his eyes holding mine all the way until his lips met mine.  My own eyes slid closed as I kissed West back, feeling the fire leap to life inside of me.  West’s lips moved with mine, parting as gasps were inhaled.  I blazed to life from the inside out, the flames licking along my veins.

Could I ever give up this heat?  Would I ever feel so alive again?

West’s hand came to the back of my neck as my hand tangled in his hair.  I craved more.

Dr. Beeson had lessened my emotional blockers.  How far could I push before I blacked out?  Would I ever again?

But in the middle of the burn West pulled away, his earth-colored eyes looking into mine as I wished for more. 

“I won’t do this again until you’ve made your choice, Eve,” he said quietly.  I could feel all the hurt and pain I had caused him in the last few months in his voice then.  Hate crept into my stomach again.  “This isn’t right.  I like Avian, respect him, despite everything.  It isn’t fair to anyone.  You have to make a choice.  Until then, I’m tired of trying to convince you that it should be me.  I’m not even sure it should be me anymore.”

I tried to find the words to reassure West, to convince him that he was wrong.  I wanted to come up with promises and answers then but I couldn’t.  He’d been right.  About everything.

“I’m sorry,” was all I managed.

“Just don’t take forever,” he said as he stood.  “If I’ve got miles of pain before me I’d rather start walking them sooner than later.”

And he walked out of the room.