As a nineteen-year-old atheist gay activist who felt rejected by Christianity, I had very little reason to believe in God. Then I encountered Jesus in a pub in the gay quarter of Sydney, Australia, and my life changed forever.
I wrote this book partly to help others navigate the tricky terrain of homosexuality and the Christian faith. However, my main reason for writing was simply to share how God’s love has impacted my life. Rather than attempt to answer every question about homosexuality, I hoped to provide in this book’s pages a clear picture of how I was reconciled to God. The gay and Christian communities are often seen as polar opposites: one a progressive, inclusive community, the other a community of oppressive, archaic laws. Having stood on both sides, I know the reality is far more complex.
My late colleague Nabeel Qureshi, author of the New York Times bestseller Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, inspired me to write. Nabeel was diagnosed with stomach cancer when I began this book, and passed away in mid-2017. One evening in Oxford, just down the road from the famous Eagle and Child pub, Nabeel turned to me and said, “David, you will bless more people through a book than you ever will through speaking. It’s time to write your story.” Soon after, I met a prominent Christian evangelist, who agreed. “David,” he told me, “you are called for a time such as this.” I am grateful to them both for encouraging me forward.
A War of Loves is the story of how I met Jesus Christ, directly opposing the lie that God does not love gay or same-sex-attracted people, or any of us for that matter. I do three things in these pages.
My prayer is that this book will be a resource not only on sexuality but also on how to know and experience God’s love. None of us are below or beyond that love. I wish a book like this had existed when I first wrestled with the questions that prompted it. Within the book’s limitations, I can’t offer a systematic doctrinal solution to the questions that arise regarding same-sex desire. Yet I do attempt to point below the surface to share hard-fought truths I’ve discovered.
You have probably noticed that I call myself gay or same-sex attracted (SSA). By using these terms, I stand with the thousands of LGBTQI people around the world who suffer threats, hate crimes, imprisonment, internment or refugee camps, or even capital punishment. These terms are not an ultimate identity but a part of my personal reality preresurrection. I remember those who have deeply struggled or even committed suicide because they felt unable to reconcile their faith and sexuality. I stand too with my same-sex-attracted or gay Christian brothers and sisters who are living faithfully before Christ.
I call myself gay to remind broader groups that what I choose to do with my sexuality as a Christian is caught up in my worship of God, and that the fundamental human desire for intimacy is ultimately fulfilled in a relationship with Jesus and what he accomplished on the cross for us all.
I call myself celibate because I have chosen, by God’s grace, to give my sexuality to Jesus Christ. The scriptural teaching on sex is reasonably clear, but there is so much more to the experience of being a gay or same-sex-attracted person than language-games, prohibitions, or information.
This book is not essentially about being gay. It is about finding a greater identity in Jesus Christ and becoming a son of God. My ultimate identity is found in Jesus Christ, but the reality of my same-sex desires is an important part of that story. Amid all the confusion around issues of faith and sexuality, I feel much like C. S. Lewis in Shadowlands: “I have no answers anymore . . . only the life I have lived.”1 In the following pages, I invite you to consider the message of the glorious gospel that has impacted my life through this, my story.