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“HELLO, AMBROSE.” THEO sat down across from me as his bodyguard took up a surreptitious post in the corner of the room. His uniform and dark glasses didn’t fool anyone; we knew all eyes were constantly watching us. Theo smiled. “It’s nice to see you again.”
I couldn’t help laughing a little. “You, too. I’m a little surprised they’re letting it happen, to be completely honest.”
“They don’t have a choice,” he answered nonchalantly. “No one does, really.” His eyes settled on my face. I looked into them and thought about how, in an alternate universe, we might have been able to actually make this work. One where Colvin didn’t exist and we were full-fledged adults who’d known each other for longer than a cumulative week.
I paused for a few minutes to try and collect my thoughts. My conversation with Daria had made it painfully clear that we were down to the wire now. I had to try and make it seem like I wasn’t panicking. We can talk this out like rational human beings, right? You don’t have to make it weird, Amber.
“I hope you won’t take personal offense to anything we are about to discuss,” I began. “Truthfully, it has very little to do with you. I swear it.”
Theo glanced toward his guard, and then toward the door to the hall. He turned back to me. “You’re about to tell me you don’t want to go through with the marriage.” There was no surprise in his voice, a realization that made me cringe. Of course he knew I wasn’t in full support of the arrangement. Anyone with eyes knew that, probably.
Still, the aspiring diplomat in me had hoped I’d managed slightly more discretion. “Well... in a word, yes.” I saw no point in lying to him, especially not after he had lanced straight to the point. “But again, it’s not because of you.” I took a deep breath. “No one ever told me about this part of my grand homecoming. I’m only a teenager, and I’ve been living in a whole separate world for the past eight years. I’m simply not ready to make this sort of commitment.”
The words sounded reasonable coming out of my mouth, and I dared to hope Theo might understand them, or even agree. To my chagrin, he shook his head, dark hair falling across his eyes.
“I understand your feelings,” he said. “And I respect them. But unfortunately, readiness is a non-factor in situations such as ours. This union has been preordained for years upon years. We are strictly beholden to each other. It is the way of our cultures.”
I chewed my lip, willing the inner devastation not to show up on my face. “Has there ever been an exception?” I asked. “For any reason?”
Theo eyed me closely. “Neither of us are in any position to be taking more risks than we already have. Your people are at war with themselves, Princess. And right now, mine are honor-bound to help in any way we can.”
“Because we’re getting married,” I murmured.
“That’s correct.” A moment of silence passed, and Theo’s demeanor softened. “Don’t get me wrong; I sympathize with you.” He leaned forward. “I can tell there’s more you want to say. Please don’t allow fear of repercussions to get in the way of communication. You and I are betrothed, after all. Whether we like it or not.” This time, his smile carried a hint of sadness. “Tell me the full truth, Ambrose. And I will always do the same.”
I blinked and shifted my gaze downward. It seemed wrong to divulge the secret I carried in my heart to my fiancé of all people—but at the same time, I didn’t have many secrets left. In light of recent events, how unreasonable was it to think my feelings for Colvin would eventually be exposed? The thought filled me with a new wave of frigid dread.
“Okay.” I clasped my hands in my lap, squeezed them tightly, then released my grip. “I don’t want this to become public knowledge, Theo. Let me be explicitly clear; I am trusting you, and only you, with this information.”
“Of course.” He touched his thumb and forefinger together and drew them across his lips. Then, perhaps as a gesture of extra faith, he offered me his hand. For some reason I couldn’t quite articulate, I took it.
“I...” Right on the precipice of confession, words failed me. How could I sit here, facing the man who had been chosen for me, and describe my ever-blooming love for someone else. Our hands locked us together over the tabletop. He watched me intently.
“Don’t be afraid,” Theo said once more. I wondered briefly if he was lying, but the tone of his voice evoked encouragement. “We’re here to speak freely.”
“I’m—I’m in love with another person.” Finally, the confession dropped from my lips, and morbid curiosity drove me to lock eyes with Theo as soon as it was out. Until that moment, I had no idea what I was expecting, if anything. Would he be angry? Jealous? Resentful? Had I just ensured that the marriage we were hurtling toward would be flawed and miserable?
“And?” he prompted, almost gently.
“And... I’m not allowed to be with them, but I don’t think I can marry you while I don’t have closure,” I told him, all in the space of one breath. “I’m so sorry, Theo. I can’t do it.”
Theo remained as calm as the surface of a mountain lake. “Like I said, whether you can or can’t is irrelevant.” He brushed his hair back with his free hand. “Nonetheless, this is very interesting.”
“Is it?” My cheeks had gone fiery red. I could feel the heat pouring off my skin. Little did he know, the object of my intense, misguided affections was most likely still standing just outside in the hall.
“May I ask you something?”
“Uh, sure.” I braced myself for things to take a strange, or at least unexpected turn. The last thing I’d imagined was for Theo to want more details than I’d given him.
“Have you told this person?” he inquired now. “Or have I unwittingly forged some sort of pact?”
“No, they know.” It took all my concentration to keep from looking in the direction of the door. “But there’s just too much at stake. It’s an impossible situation.”
He was silent long enough that I started to wonder if he had somehow figured it out. My mind began to race a thousand miles a minute. How many times had he seen me and Colvin in the same general vicinity? Had he ever seen us interacting? Did his staff ever see anything? I was pretty sure Colvin never talked about me in anything other than a professional capacity, but maybe we hadn’t been as slick about stealing private moments as we thought.
Theo broke into my wild stream of consciousness. “Thank you for trusting me, Ambrose.” He squeezed my hand. “As I promised, it’s my turn to do the same.”
“Huh?” Still reeling from the unfounded tailspin of anxiety, it took me a moment to comprehend what he was saying.
He continued without pause. “I suppose, in a way, it’s serendipitous that we would end up under these circumstances together. You see, I am also in love with another.”
It wasn’t very regal or ladylike of me, but my jaw fell open. “What?”
Theo shrugged and gave me a sheepish little grin. “What else can I say, as long as we’re being honest?”
In the corner, the guard hadn’t budged. His stance offered zero indication that he was eavesdropping with any particular intention, or even that he heard us at all. All of a sudden, I felt like the two of us were new friends exchanging secrets at a high school sleepover. The bulk of my trepidation had evaporated.
No wonder Theo seemed to understand me a little too well. He was in the exact same boat.
I scooted closer to the edge of the sofa, lowering my voice. “Will you tell me about her?”
His smile widened. “Gladly.”