Evan bunched the covers over his crotch and shut his eyes. “Damn, that’s never...”
“I know,” his partner said. Shifting of the mattress and the covers sliding off Evan’s hip suggested his lover climbed from the bed. “If you change your mind before you leave, let me know. I’ll get somebody to trade with me so I can get off work.”
Evan chuckled and opened his eyes. The younger man wasn’t his ideal. He wasn’t into the slender, gentle-spirit type, but from the first time he had laid eyes on the man, Evan knew he’d been interested. Since he looked nothing like Harrison, all the better. “If I change my mind? My head’s not the problem, at least not the big one.”
When he was alone, the smile faded from Evan’s face, along with the false cheer. He knew why he couldn’t get it up. At various times over the past few years, he would take a few days off work and skip out of Huntington Downs. None of his people knew about the resort he visited where he found his partner. The arrangement they made was simple. No commitment, just sex. Evan showed up, waited until the man was able to get away from work, and they spent hours in bed. Once Evan felt he could handle being around Harrison again without throwing him to the floor and taking him, he returned to his small town where he was mayor.
Evan had liked the arrangement even if sometimes it frustrated him. What he wanted more than anything was for Harrison to turn to him and say he had been lying to himself all these years, that he realized he loved men and in particular Evan. Everything inside Evan told him Harrison was gay, so he thought he could wait. He didn’t even care if Harrison married Becky. The love he felt for the man, the hunger to be with him, he thought, transcended any connection to that selfish woman.
Then the day he longed for came. Harrison woke up to his true desires. He broke off the relationship with Becky. What Evan had dreamed of was going to come true. There was one problem—the huge bear of a man who came to town looking for Harrison. All of a sudden, Evan found himself thrust aside.
Remembering how Harrison had looked at that guy brought a curse to Evan’s lips, and he slammed a hand against the mattress. He kicked the covers away and rose to pad across the room.
“Damn him! How dare he touch Harrison? He’s mine. He’s always been...” Sighing, Evan thrust a hand through his hair. No, he had always manipulated people into doing what he wanted. With Harrison it had been different. Harrison weakened him with longing, and he had made the wrong choice, becoming Harrison’s friend. “What I should have done from the beginning was show him he’s gay.”
Just like that guy did, he thought bitterly. That damn Orion had come in and almost forced himself onto Harrison. Evan’s friend had found himself hard before he knew what hit him, and his desires fulfilled.
Evan groaned. Neither of them had shown their faces in days, and Evan knew what that meant. Sex. His cock tightened with the thought of it, of him sliding into Harrison’s tight ass. He climbed into the shower before the water turned warm, punishing himself, hating the ache.
Harrison.
He’d give anything to be with him, and he had proven that when he threw away his pride to go to the cabin and demand answers. Humiliation and shame washed over him as he recalled. What the hell had he been thinking?
“I want to know what’s going on with you, Harrison,” he had said. “You abandon Becky? The two of you were close to the alter, and you let this—”
“Watch yourself,” Harrison had growled, baring his teeth in an aggressive way Evan had never seen before. “That’s my mate you’re talking about.”
“Mate?” Evan had shot back. “What the hell does that mean?”
He knew he flitted with the loss of his temper. The normal smile he wore wasn’t an act or a mask. He was generally a happy guy because he went after what he wanted in life—everything except Harrison. He was here now, he had thought, ready to claim the man he loved.
“It means I’m with Orion now, but I have a proposal for you.”
“Proposal?” Evan frowned in confusion. “Wait, you don’t mean a threesome? I’m not into that.”
Harrison had blinked at him, and too late he realized he hadn’t said any of the things he meant to out loud. Evan stepped closer to Harrison and touched his arm.
“I have to be honest. I’ve wanted you from the first time I saw you. Over the years, I fell in love with you. I wish I had had the courage to confess before today.”
Evan hadn’t even uttered the words good, but Harrison had recoiled with a look of disgust on his face. He jerked away from Evan’s touch and right away became apologetic. He held out conciliatory hands toward Evan. “Hey, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react like that. You’re my best friend, and I...gosh, I don’t know how to explain it.”
Evan gave a harsh laugh. His gut felt like it had taken a blow. “I’ve touched you plenty of times.”
He neglected to say every little brush had brought him pleasure no matter how innocent it appeared on the surface.
“I know. I really can’t explain it. Now that I’m with Orion, things have changed.”
Evan sneered. “What, he doesn’t want another man touching you? Is that it? He’s that controlling that you can’t even accept a handshake or a pat on the arm? Where is he? I’d like to have a conversation with him.”
Harrison shook his head. “I smelled you coming, and I knew what it meant, so I sent him away.”
“What the fuck do you mean you smelled me?” Evan chastised himself to calm down, but it did no good. “What’s happened to you, Harrison? Maybe you need to see the doc.”
“No, the doc won’t do me any good.” Harrison sighed and paced a few steps away. Evan couldn’t help watching his ass, so round and hard, and his strong thighs. Damn, he’d like to lick Harrison. As he thought about it, his cock hardened, and when Harrison turned around, he noticed. Pity, fucking, pity entered his gaze. “I want you to sit down and let me explain something to you. Then you can make a decision.”
Harrison approached him, but he was careful not to touch Evan. Evan fell back a step. “I was a fool to come here.”
“No, please, hear me out,” Harrison asked. “It’s not that Orion doesn’t let me touch another man. Neither of us can bear it right now. He’s all I can see, and I’m all he can see. We’ll figure it out later, but today his touch is what I need and what I crave. If you let me explain in terms of what Orion and I are, then you’ll understand better.”
“What I’m getting is I’ve been your best friend for years, and now I disgust you because I said I love you.”
“No, Evan, you’re oversimplifying it.”
Evan shook his head in disbelief. Orion stiffened and looked over his shoulder toward the door. A few minutes later, the big bastard entered, and Evan had to witness for himself the obsession.
They started toward each other as if drawn by a magnet. Harrison stopped halfway, and Orion closed the gap. He reached for Harrison’s waist and drew him close. Big chest to bigger one, they bumped, and their lips met in a hungry kiss. Horror, jealousy, and pain struck Evan as Orion thrust his tongue into Harrison’s mouth.
Evan couldn’t watch anymore, so he left, and neither man seemed to know he had gone. There and then, he had packed, made arrangements for a council member to cover for him, and headed to his usual spot. Now he stood in the shower, angry, hurt, and unfortunately, still longing to be with Harrison.
As he moved from beneath the spray and toweled off, he wondered what could rip the feelings from him. To his disgust, he hadn’t been able to get his cock up for the first time. Even with his desire for Harrison, he had never failed to bury the emotions beneath hours of mindless sex. The way Harrison had treated him had ruined even that.
May be time, he decided. Tomorrow, he might feel less sorry for himself, and Harrison’s expression wouldn’t pop into his head every time he reached for his partner. Yeah, he’d go with that, and then make an active plan to stomp the love out and move forward.