INTRODUCTION
My story is just one story.
Well, two stories, to be exact.
The first began on a rainy December day. That’s when my firstborn, Josiah Alexander, made his entrance, to the sweet strains of Christmas carols.
I “slow danced” with my husband for a good part of the day, my arms draped around his neck. I can still remember his eyes —the kind, steady eyes I’d fallen in love with two years earlier —focused on mine as we labored together. I think we both knew we stood at the threshold of an event that would change our lives forever.
When labor became painful, he stroked my hair and prayed for me. And when my wiggly boy, all arms and legs, was placed in my arms, all I could do was whisper, “I love you.”
My second-born arrived twenty months later, on an August evening long after most people were in their beds. We had chosen not to find out the gender of our baby (so we could “do that once”), but we were convinced we were having another boy.
My water broke that morning, and we checked into the hospital a few hours later. At 5:00 PM, with no contractions in sight, labor was induced. I walked the halls for most of the evening, in labor but with barely perceivable contractions.
Then, suddenly, at 11:15 —when I had been given the highest dose of Pitocin possible —hard labor began. (This time I preferred leaning over the bed, swaying and holding my husband’s hands —to his relief.)
“Do you want the good news or the good news?” the nurse said after checking my cervix. “You’re nine centimeters and fully effaced.”
Our OB arrived at midnight; and our daughter was born at 12:16 AM.
Having only written down a few girl names arbitrarily, we named our daughter on the spot (after a brief, whispered conference). We named her Sadie Elizabeth, which means “Princess” and “My God Is an Oath.”
Her name was fitting. During both births and our journey into parenthood, God has been our oath —our promise. Through the newness of being parents and the ups and downs of our son’s medical problems, God’s promise to be with us and care for us stood firm.
If you’re reading this book, you are probably expecting your own little miracle. You are stepping closer to what is sure to be one of the most radical and sacred events of your life. Beyond the birth itself, you are about to embark on the astounding —and humbling —task of shepherding the soul of another. One who has been specifically entrusted to you.
My story is mine —unique from the others you will hear about in this book —sweet graces and details woven together by God. Plans dreamed up in His mind before time began. And your story is yours. It may share similarities with mine, or it may be completely different. But one thing will be the same. In the same way that God walked with Kevin and me as we traveled a path full of unknowns, He will be with you also. He has begun a good work in you and in the life of your child, which He has every intention to complete (see Philippians 1:6).
Your birth story will be exquisite. It will also be messy and awkward at times. There will be tears, laughter, pain, and unspeakable joy, all rolled up in one amazing bundle. You will encounter God’s love and care in ways you never imagined. You will be stretched (in every way possible), and you will be filled with more love than you ever anticipated.
God already knows your birth story, every detail. And He will be with you every step of the way.
If this is your first baby, you are probably excited —though at times anxious —about bringing a new little life into the world.
Will he look like you or your spouse? Will she have chubby cheeks or an abundance of downy soft hair on her head? What will his skin feel like? The excitement of a new baby has the tendency to inspire wonder and a special kind of joy.
My friend Kelly describes sneaking into the nursery days before her daughter’s birth, and picking up the tiny outfits and pressing them to her nose.
“I would breathe in the smell of those little clothes,” she says, “and dream of what it would be like when she was finally here. It seems silly now, but I was just so excited.”
My own first pregnancy came after I had been single for many years and wondered if having a family would ever happen for me. When I became pregnant six months after getting married, waiting for the baby was like waiting for Christmas Day! (Literally, since my son was born on December 17.)
Maybe your pregnancy was unexpected or happened sooner than anticipated, and you have some anxiety about what you’ve gotten yourself into. Or maybe you’ve waited and prayed for a baby for years, and similar to Sarah and Abraham in the Bible, for you, this child is the fulfillment of long-held desires and hopes. Perhaps the timing was exactly what you were hoping for, and you’re confident that now is the perfect time to start a family.
Regardless of how you entered the journey of pregnancy, you are here. And I hope this book will provide you with encouragement, practical advice, and motivation to start out strong. More than that, I hope it will show you how to build a foundation of faith in your family from your child’s earliest days.
If you’re feeling some fear and apprehension, you’re not alone. Almost all of the expectant parents I spoke with during the course of writing this book had fears and concerns, such as, Will the baby be healthy? Will my labor and delivery go as planned? What will work and finances look like after the baby comes? Will my relationship with my spouse change for the worse? How will pregnancy affect my body?
Within these pages, all of those questions will be addressed, and more. As you read, you will discover insights from other parents, advice from experts, discussion questions to deepen your relationship with your spouse, and even suggested activities to enrich your pregnancy and prepare you for parenthood.
You will also find some additional help in the appendices on various topics, including miscarriage, adoption, and welcoming a baby to a blended family.
My prayer is that this will be a truly meaningful and memorable season of life as you begin your family . . . and discover your story.