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THEY DANCED UNTIL THE song ended, which flowed into a kiss before one of their feet slipped and they almost fell.
“Let’s head in,” Damond suggested. “Your lips are turning blue I can’t have you catching frostbite.”
“Same for you.” She squeezed in-between his legs. “Or at least the parts of you I’m not finished using.”
“You got a lot of nerve lady.” But Damond was talking to himself as Janae took off.
He followed more slowly, until he saw her letting the garage door down and he tried to speed up. Not that he made it, so he had to walk all the way around to the front door. By the time he was inside and undressed he found her already in the living room. Sipping on a hot beverage of undetermined flavor.
“Did you make me some?”
“No.”
“Ain’t that a bit-” He cut off as she gave him a look. “I’m just saying...I was out there longer than you were.”
“That sounds like a personal problem.” Janae surmised.
“And I think you’re a little vindictive.”
Damond dropped down next to her and promptly took her cup. Gulping down a good portion of what turned out to be peppermint tea before she snatched it back.
“And you, Mr. Wannabe James Patterson, are a bit of an asshole”
“Is that the clinical term for it, Professor?”
“No, your type of assholery falls into the Machiavellianism diagnoses.”
“Hmmm, I like it. I’d like permission to use that line in a book.” Damon asked even as he was already scribbling it down.
“Go right ahead. I plan to cite your name when I talk about anti-social behavior.” Janae retorted dryly.
“So you know how I said I was thinking about having a female psychologist in my new series. I want you to be the consultant for me. I mean I’ve looked up some things, made up some. But I have you right here. Do you have an hour to go over some key scenes that I’ve written? Assess the lingo, and the thought process my doc might have.”
“You really want to pick my brain?” Janae eyebrows lifted in surprise.
“On the head shrink part, yes.”
“Okay, fine. I can give you until dinner to help you out, but you have to cook and do the dishes.”
“Like I said...vindictive.” He proclaimed shaking his head.
* * *
IT WAS A WEEK LATER and Janae was sitting up in her office mad at the world. It was an unreasonable thought, she recognized that and still she hated everybody. After the first couple of slow weeks her work had taken off, which made sense. She had only needed to stitch her work and concepts together into a readable, interesting and teachable book.
Now with about ten percent left, she only needed to summarize everything, but was suddenly thrown for a loop. Janae had covered a lot of ground on her topic and didn’t know where to start. She hadn’t written more than two paragraphs in the five hours she had been up here today. Using the time instead to pour over other chapters. Double and triple checking some of her research facts. Making slight changes to some sections even though this wasn’t the time for editing.
“Dang it! Why is my brain fritzing out now?”
Slamming back from the table she got to her feet and started a stomping version of pacing.
“I want this to be done, but I’m worried about the peer review,” Janae said to the air.
When someone a few years back with similar perspectives as hers published, a few people had tried to poke holes in every theory.
“Jesus, I so hate the damn peer review system.”
Janae flung a pillow from the bed to the other side of the room, as if that would hurt anything or even make her feel better.
*
DAMOND TURNED HIS EYES to the ceiling again. This was twice now he’d heard her tramping around up there. He was starting to wonder what the hell was going on. She normally wasn’t this noisy. Plus, what had started as an irritation now had him curious. This time he finally stood up.
“Let’s go see what the Professor is up to.”
If she had been in her bedroom downstairs he might have thought she was packing. He was intently aware she only had one more week with him, or rather at the cabin. Damond could see Janae being an early packer, one of those people who re-checked a hotel room before they left. He was trying not to think on it too much—her leaving that is. Odd, when she’d first arrived all he could think about was how slowly eight weeks would go by. Now Damond felt they’d gone by too damn fast. He took the steps two at a time, as he wasn’t trying to disguise he was coming.
“Hey, you cool in there?”
“Please go away. I’m busy. I don’t have time to...play around.”
Damond would have left it at that if her voice hadn’t sounded so tight and upset, so he opened the door any way.
“Sounds like you could use a quick bre-”
He faltered taking a quick look around the room. Seeing pillows strewn about, numerous papers and open books lying everywhere. Even when writing she was neat, and he’d never seen her work area no matter where it was look like this.
“What in the world are you doing in here?” He was truly puzzled and became more so when she burst out in tears at his question.
“I don’t know what I’m doing, that’s the problem!” Turning from him while wiping her eyes as she went to stare out the window.
Damond was stunned. What in the holy hell was going on? Shit he hated a crying woman, it seemed like he never had a clue what was actually wrong.
“Janae, tell me what happened...”
Her tears still streaming she snapped around.
“Everything is wrong! I’m almost done with this book. I’ve worked hard and you know what...it won’t be good enough. Someone will go out of their way to disprove it or parts of it. What makes it even worse is the fact I’ll still have to write another book, and another. All to prove I know my shit, even after all that damn education I’m still paying for. To stay relevant in my field period, and have a hope of being tenured, I have to keep doing this!”
Janae threw her hands up and started sobbing in earnest. “I’m tired of keeping up. So damn tired, and yet there’s never any rest!”
“Hey, hey, come here.” Giving her a hug, he wiped her cheeks. “What’s with the tears baby? You don’t cry at a strange, naked assholes in your cabin, my constant teasing or my snide remarks. Don’t let this break you down.”
“It’s my work! I’m so close to being finished and tying it all together, but now I’ve hit a mental roadblock. Then that got me thinking was any of it good.” Janae left his arms and started pacing again.
“This time around it’s only my name on it. No one or anything to hide behind. When folks in my specialty start picking it apart, it will be my concepts and ideas and knowledge they’re dissecting.”
Damond sat on the bed and listened, when she took a big enough pause he finally jumped in.
“Let me ask you a few simple questions. One, do you consider what you’ve written to be accurate to the best of your knowledge and research?”
“Yes, of course I do! I wouldn’t go around pulling facts from the air.”
“Two, do you believe your book flows and makes logical sense in the order that you’ve mapped it out?”
“Yes.” Now she frowned, finally coming to a standstill. “I’ve made sure that each chapter flows into the next as an easy transition, and builds on what was discussed in the previous chapters.”
“Great, now last question. And this one is easy. Do you believe you’ve done your best?”
“Of course, I would never not do my best on anything, much less a text teaching and giving information to others.”
“Well, there you have it.” Damond tossed up his hands. “Come here.” He waved her over until he could pull her down next to him.
“Don’t let self-doubt win, that bastard plagues writers. Often when we’re near the finish line. It’s as if the weeks, months and for some years they’ve worked on something is suddenly all trash. It’s not. You have high standards, you would never put out anything subpar.”
“I wouldn’t, would I. Thanks for saying that.” Janae burrowed into his side, feeling calmer already.
“What you need is a new perspective.” Damond rubbed her back. “Focus on what you have accomplished already, not what you haven’t. Give yourself a break and then make a plan for wrapping this project up. Cut it into smaller sections if need be.”
“Smaller tasks to complete a whole, are less stressful. I needed that reminder. Ugh, I think this is just my post period hormones and stress.” Janae wiped under her still dripping nose. “It’s only been over a day and a half, so my hormones are still fluctuating.”
Damon was thankful her birth control made the time as short as it was, not to mention happy to know it was done with. It had been the longest five days.
“Thanks for the gynecology lesson.”
“You’re welcome.” She poked his shoulder. “Thanks for listening.”
“No problem. Make sure I don’t need to do it again. I suck at being Mr. Sensitive.”
“Aww, I don’t think you did that bad.” Janae praised him. “I’m impressed.”
“Yeah, well don’t get used to it. We should get back to work.”