Earl woke up in the hospital surrounded by clowns. With their sinister smiles and wide piercing eyes, his first thought was that he was having some kind of horrible nightmare. But then the memories flooded in, as did the pain.
Bandages covered half his body. One arm was in a cast, propped up in a sling. One eye was swollen shut. He didn’t remember anything that happened after the explosion, not even being hit with a faceful of shrapnel. Vicky and Mandy were by his side, safe and uninjured, happy to see him wake up. His teenage daughter wasn’t with them.
“Look who’s awake,” said Captain Spotty. “I thought you bought it back there.”
“Where’s Sarah?” Earl raised himself up, trying to get out of the bed.
“Relax, Doc.” Spotty pushed him back down. “She’s in the next room. She’ll be fine. Just a slight concussion.”
“And my wife? Laurie? Where’s she?”
Captain Spotty shook his head. “We still don’t know, Doc. You shouldn’t worry about that now. Just be happy that your kids are alive and well.”
Earl held out his hand to Vicky and Mandy. They each grabbed on to a finger. But when he looked them in the eyes he couldn’t stop thinking that, because of him, they’d gone through the worst ordeal of their life. Because of him, they might never see their mother again.
Vinnie Blue Nose stood in the doorway and said, “Everyone out. The boss wants to speak to the vet.” When he saw the look on the girls’ faces, he could tell they didn’t want to leave their father. He nodded at Hats. “Take them to their sister.”
Hats scratched his bald scalp. He didn’t feel comfortable without any hats on his head. “Are you kidding me? Leaving me with the brats…” As he mumbled to himself, Mandy hopped onto his back.
“Give me a piggyback ride, Hats!” the kid cried in his ear.
“Get the heck off me, twerp.” Hats tried to shake her off. “I don’t like kids. I’m not that kind of clown.”
“Piggyback ride!”
“I’m gonna strangle this brat,” Hats said, but despite his words he still carried her into the next room. Vicky followed. Then all the other clowns dispersed.
When Don Bozo entered the room, Vinnie said, “I’ll be outside.” He closed the door behind him, leaving the two of them alone.
The boss clown waddled across the room and pulled up a chair next to Earl’s bed. He let out a sigh. Then he blew a balloon animal and twisted it into the shape of a flower.
“Here,” Bozo said, handing him the balloon flower. “A get-well-soon present.”
When Earl held the flower in his hand, it swayed back and forth, almost dancing.
“I’m real sorry about your wife,” said the boss. “We’re doing everything we can to get her back. I can’t promise anything, but there’s a good chance you’ll see her again.”
Earl just listened. He wanted to believe everything the boss was telling him.
“It looks like Coco de Merde was acting on his own when he kidnapped your family and blackmailed you into whacking me. Le Mystère isn’t too happy about it. I had a sit-down with their administration and they assured me they’d get your wife back as a peace offering, which is good for all parties involved. Neither of our families can afford to go to war right now.”
Bozo made another balloon animal. This one was a little monkey. He set it down on the bed next to Earl and it danced alongside the flower.
“Even though you tried to kill me, I feel kind of responsible for all this. None of it would’ve ever happened if it weren’t for me.”
He made another balloon animal. This time a lion. It seemed the boss liked to make balloon animals whenever he felt awkward. The big clown pet the lion’s rubbery mane after it came to life.
“So I’ve decided to pardon you on the condition that you come work for me as my new chief caretaker. I’d pay you twice as much as you were getting at the Bronx Zoo. But you wouldn’t be able to quit until I say you can quit. And you and your family would have to move to Little Bigtop. I know you’re scared of clowns and all, but I’m sure you’ll get over it eventually.”
Earl looked down at the balloon animals on his bed. The balloon lion jumped on the balloon monkey and popped it. The balloon flower hopped away in terror.
“So what do you say, Doc?”
Earl shrugged. “You’re going to kill me otherwise. Do I really have a choice?”
“Not really, but I want you to want this. I don’t need you if you only take the job out of obligation. Think about it. Your family will be taken care of, your wife will be returned to you, you’ll get more money than you ever did before. You should be happy.”
“Yeah, I guess I should…” Earl put away his phobia and thought about it for a moment. His actions had torn his family apart and working for Don Bozo seemed like the only way he could bring them together again. Although working with clowns sounded like a fate worse than death, he had to give it a try. For his family. “Okay, I’ll work for you, but I have conditions of my own.”
The boss chuckled. “Oh yeah?”
“I want better living conditions for those animals of yours,” Earl said. “If I’m going to be your chief caretaker, then things are going to have to be brought up to my standards. It might not be cheap. It might not be easy. But when it comes to the health and well-being of those animals, you’re going to have to answer to me. And if you don’t like it then you might as well kill me right now, because I won’t do a half-assed job.”
The boss stared at him for a moment. Earl thought he was about to be strangled to death for speaking to the big man like that. He shrank into his hospital bed, but he didn’t break eye contact.
“Very well, Doc. You got yourself a deal.”
Then Don Bozo laughed so loud his belly shook the hospital bed and sent waves of pain through Earl’s shattered arm.