They called him Pinky Smiles because the kid always had a smile on his face. And it wasn’t no creepy maniac clown smile neither. It was a pleasant smile. A genuine smile. An I’m-having-a-good-day-and-don’t-give-a-crap-who-knows-it kind of smile. Pinky, you see, was always in a good mood. Nothing could bring down this clown’s spirits, not even on what would soon become the worst day of his candy-sucking life.
“Today’s the day,” Pinky told Captain Spotty.
A bright cheery grin beamed off his face as they shoved the thrashing Scottish clown into the back of their car.
“Oh yeah?” Spotty asked, slamming the trunk down on the Scotsman’s legs.
Pinky squinted at the morning sun breaking on the horizon.
“Today’s the day I’m going to ask her to marry me.”
The Scottish clown’s pink-and-blue kilt was pulled up to his waist, revealing a pair of yellow polka-dot boxers as he kicked his legs.
He cried, “Come on, Spotty. You don’t have to do this. Give me another week!”
But the clownfella didn’t acknowledge a single word he said.
“Good for you, kid.” Spotty slid an oversized row of brass knuckles onto his red-gloved hand. “I’m happy for you.”
Then Spotty punched the Scotsman in the face until two teeth were knocked loose and the clown’s kilt was sprinkled with blood.
Pinky Smiles closed the trunk all the way. “See, I’ve got the ring with me right here.” He pulled out a white ring containing a rainbow-colored gem the size of a jawbreaker. “It’ll take me all year to pay off the debt for a rock this big, but you know Taffy. She wouldn’t go for anything smaller.”
Captain Spotty held the ring to the sunlight. “Holy smokes, kid. You really went all-out. It’s not even a fake.”
“She’s worth it.”
Nicky Bowtie poked his head out of the driver’s-side window. “Are we going or what? We’ve got witnesses over here.”
Pinky and Spotty looked away from the ring and saw a crowd of spectators forming on the sidewalk near the car. Two old lady clowns who were out walking their perfectly manicured pink poodles pointed at the thumping and whining sounds coming out of the trunk. Spotty wiped the blood from the back of his car, pretending as if nothing were out of the ordinary.
“Let’s go, kid,” Spotty said.
As they got into the car, Nick pointed at the elderly clowns and said, “You didn’t see nothing.”
Then he sped away.